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Liverpool are a team who are regularly falling between two stools at the moment. Are they the potential world-beaters who recently won twice at Stamford Bridge and gave Manchester City their toughest league match of the season? Or perhaps they’re the ineffectual bunch of wasters who have drawn home matches with promoted sides like Norwich City and Swansea, and lost at Fulham on Monday.  Depending on who you follow on Twitter, you could easily believe either side of the tale. As with most things in football, I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle.

In any event, Champions League football is getting increasingly difficult to visualise at Anfield next season. It’s not that the team’s form is particularly bad.  On the contrary, their current points-per-game average of 1.64 translates to a sixty-two point finish, and while that is no quite as healthy a figure as Kenny Dalglish would like, the Reds have already played the majority of their difficult away games — not that the trips to Manchester, for City and United, will be strolls in the park.  The issue is that the other teams competing for fourth place are all at least as good as Liverpool, and, in many cases, better.

Before Monday’s match though, the Kopites had reasons to be optimistic about returning home from jolly old London-town with three valuable points. Liverpool gave arguably their best performance of last season in winning 5-2 at Craven Cottage in May.  Moreover, their hosts had just twelve points before Monday night’s match began, their joint lowest Premier League total after thirteen games; clearly not a team in form.

Or were they? In some matches this season, most notably their home defeat to Tottenham Hotspur, the Whites had not earned the points which their performance deserved.  As for last night, it was an entertaining game where both teams had decent chances, and as the match approached stoppage time, a draw seemed an equitable result.

Unfortunately, the Reds — and contrary to popular opinion, not Kevin Friend – gave Fulham a couple of helping hands.  First, whether or not Jay Spearing won the ball first, in this day and age, we all now that it is unacceptable to catch your opponent on the follow through.  Finishing with ten men against an attack featuring the likes of Bobby Zamora, Clint Dempsey and Danny Murphy is just asking for it.

To me, it looked a dangerous tackle, with both feet off the floor. Old school fans love to use the ‘it’s a contact sport’ or ‘that wasn’t even a foul’ arguments, but that’s irrelevant.  Everyone knows the kind of tackle which refs love to punish, and Spearing’s fell well inside those boundaries.

Then, with just five minutes to go, former Red Murphy took advantage of another gift.  Glen Johnson’s poor defending led to a shot too hot for Pepe Reina to handle, and it’s not just Liverpool supporters, but England fans in general, who know what can happen if the keeper doesn’t control the ball when Clint Dempsey is in the neighbourhood.   The American’s tap-in condemned Liverpool to a first defeat in twelve games in all competitions.

Normally, that would hardly constitute a disastrous run.  Still, with the competition at the top of the current Premier League table, doom merchants were quick to take to the chat rooms and forums, proclaiming the result as the end of the world.  Let the pessimists have their day, though.  I’m an eternal optimist myself, and, regardless the result, I’ll look for the best in a Liverpool performance.

And so it is this week. Whilst the usual hindrance of poor finishing held the Reds back, there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic for the rest of the campaign. After all, Liverpool were on top for large spells in the game, hit the woodwork twice, were denied an offside, and were millimetres away from being awarded a penalty or two. Fulham themselves were probably fortunate to finish the match with a full complement.

I read today, via OptaJoe, that Luis Suárez has won more fouls than any other player in the Premier League since making his Liverpool debut. It didn’t seem that way last night as an elbow in the face inside the Fulham area did not result in a penalty.

Similarly, the woodwork was no friend to the Reds either, much has it hasn’t been all season. Stewart Downing found the frame of the goal for the third time this season — no player has done so more often in the league — and he took the total to twelve for the Liverpool team as a whole.

To show just how close Liverpool are to fulfilling their potential, if every shot in the Premier League that has hit the woodwork this season was a goal, then the Reds would be just six points from the top of the league, rather than fifteen as they currently are.  It’s small margins like these that convince me that Liverpool are on the right track at the moment, even if they may fall short of the promised land this season, and an unlucky defeat at Fulham is going to change my mind about that.

Statistics sourced from EPLIndex. Read more of Andrew Beasley @ basstunedtored.com

Manchester United’s 1-1 draw with Newcastle at the weekend has left the Red Devils five points adrift of their ‘noisy neighbours’at the top of the table. Their loss at home to Crystal Palace in the Carling Cup exposed a worrying problem for the defending Premier League champions.  In previous articles, I have suggested that Tom Cleverley could be the man to lead United to another domestic title, but following the team’s recent performances I feel compelled to ask whether Sir Alex Ferguson should have broken the bank to mount a tilt at the Premiership?  My answer now would be a resounding maybe.

Before falling to Palace, United had gone unbeaten in three matches, with a 1-0 win over Swansea and draws with Benfica (2-2) and Newcastle (1-1).  Those performances, however, fell well short of United’s normal standards.  The ball has been bogged down in midfield, David De Gea has given some abject performances, and, with Phil Jones deputising in the center of the pitch, the defence has looked unsettled.

Michael Carrick has come in for criticism from some sections of the United support, but, when he’s on form, he can pass the ball as well as anyone in the world. He just doesn’t hit that form regularly, and, when he’s not at his best, seems to pass the ball laterally far too frequently.  It’s frustrating to watch, although his cautious play does help maintain possession when United is ahead. If they’re chasing the game, though, such a timid approach isn’t what’s needed.

Anderson began the season in great form, bombing forward and netting against Norwich City and Tottenham. Unfortunately, he has followed Cleverley to the trainer’s table.   Although Fergie couldn’t have anticipated both being injured, their absence has the gaffer scraping the bottom of the barrel for midfield talent.

Cleverley is on his way back, with Old Trafford faithful hopeful that he will return with the same confidence and control he showed before going down.   The 8-2 mauling of Arsenal, where he started, the 3-1 victory over Chelsea and the 5-0 win over Bolton, all demonstrated his worth, but since he’s been out, United have stuttered, with no-one on the bench to replace him.

Darren Fletcher has been ever-present, yes, but he is a more defensive minded player, and needs someone with guile and passing ability alongside him.  While signing Wesley Sneijder, would have seen Cleverley on the bench, when he clearly is deserving of first team selection, United might now be neck and neck with City, rather than having to match them just to stay within five points of the top.

The Dutchman is world class, there is no argument there, but Sir Alex refused to pay his astronomical wages (believed to be £200,000 a week), although it was reported in many quarters that a £35 million fee had been agreed. Even Sneijder thought he was Old Trafford bound.

It’s difficult to believe that the Inter man wouldn’t have made a difference, but Sir Alex’s decision is understandable. Whatever one thinks of the Glazers, £200,000 a week and £35 million may be a little too much.  Especially with Wayne Rooney already on the books for a similar amount.  The Americans can’t be faulted for not being Sheikh Mansour.

So what are the alternatives in the transfer window, if Anderson and Cleverley aren’t back to a hundred percent by the end of the holidays?

Mario Götze was a name that was bounded around over the summer and many United fans believed him to be the man to lead United’s new age revolution. His asking price stood, and still stands, at around £30 million. The main criticism of a deal is his age (19), but if he’s this talented as a teenager, it seems a bargain.

I don’t think either of them should be signed though. I won’t even entertain mentions of Shinji Kagawa, Xabi Alonso or another youngster, Christian Eriksen.  Instead, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that United needn’t spend huge money on a temporary stop-gap until their missing duo are fully recovered.

There is a veteran player out there who can unlock a defence with a single pass from virtually anywhere on the pitch, provide a bit of set-piece magic, and restore the feel-good factor to a team that’s beginning to doubt its legacy, as their noisy neighbours continue to run unchecked.  He has just completed the last year of his contract, meaning he would be available on a free; has led his side to a championship, and might be looking for the perfect ending to a storybook career.

Yes, I’m talking about David Beckham, and yes, I know he’s thirty-six, has lost virtually all of the pace that once terrorised Premier League fullbacks, making him a defensive liability.  However, he has played in the middle with LA Galaxy, in a league that, while short on skill, is definitely long on fitness and pace.  He has the intelligence to compensate for his shortcomings, and his presence may see Rooney drop back into a deep position less often, as the ginger Scouse is certainly aware that Becks can get the ball to him up the pitch.  Then, once Cleverley and Anderson are fully reintegrated, Beckham will undoubtedly be a strong mentor and threat off the bench, in the latter stages of tight matches.

While Golden Balls has fully exploited his marketability throughout his career, and has entertained the notion of playing with Spurs or QPR, there is no question that he would jump at the opportunity to once again don the red strip of United.  Nor would he cost £200,000 per week.

I may be looking through rose-tinted spectacles when I mention his name, but United certainly need a spark to revive not only their flagging hopes of another Championship, but also to regain the swagger that has suddenly gone missing in this young squad.  Too many of the icons are gone and those remaining, Rio Ferdinand and Ryan Giggs, are both playing too seldom and suffering from tarnished images.  Beckham’s tenure in MLS has been looked upon with scorn, often on both sides of the Atlantic, but there is no questioning his competitive spirit.  The doubts raised if he returns will only stoke that fire.  He’ll have something to prove, and, as he did in LA this year, he will prove it.

Who says you can’t go home?

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Over the past ten days, the Reds from Merseyside have been mingling with the greens of the Premier League.  Green as in greenbacks.  New money, old money, oodles of money. Whilst they have enjoyed the benefit of a roughly £40 million net investment in their own playing squad over the last twelve months, their last three matches have been against teams bankrolled by billionaires; the type who are happy to spend around £30-40 million on single players whom are later let go for peanuts.  Andrei Shevchenko or Robinho, anyone?

Over that period, Liverpool have beaten Chelsea twice at Stamford Bridge, advancing to the Carling Cup semi-finals for the first time since 2005.  As well, they’ve come as close to beating Manchester City in the league than anyone else to date. After the doom and gloom following the draw with Swansea at Anfield, things have certainly changed for the better.

The sequence began with a league visit to Stamford Bridge. I had been calling for Maxi Rodriguez to start more often and he duly repaid my faith — and Kenny Dalglish’s — by opening the scoring in his first league start of the season.  Although Chelsea later drew level through substitute Daniel Sturridge, who had been brought on to replace the hapless Jon Obi Mikel, whose dithering had led to the first Liverpool goal, Glen Johnson popped up with the winning goal with three minutes to go.  Before I pull my arm out of its socket patting myself on the back, I should confess that I was also clamouring for  Martin Kelly to occupy the right back berth instead of Johnson.  Just a friendly reminder from the football gods, I suppose, that I should stick to blogging rather than trying to tell Dalglish what to do.

Still, I was delighted to be proven wrong when Glen scored the decisive goal, and the result heaped more pressure onto Chelsea’s beleaguered boss André Villas-Boas. Subsequent defeats in the Champions League and Carling Cup will have done him no favours either.

With no European football themselves, Liverpool were afforded a full week to prepare for the visit of Manchester City.  However, for only the seventh time in the thirty-one League games of Kenny’s second tenure, Liverpool conceded the first goal of the match, when Vincent Kompany got his — erm — shoulder to a corner.

Within two minutes Liverpool were level, though. Whilst the goal was lucky in as much as Charlie Adam’s off-target shot was deflected past Joe Hart by Joleon Lescott, it was probably the only piece of luck that Liverpool received all afternoon.  If you’re going to get a result against the elite Premier League teams, you certainly need to take advantage of those rare strokes of fortune when they arrive.  They don’t come often, nor do they linger.

England’s number one Hart was in inspired form, saving all six of the shots on target that the Reds mustered, denying them two points in the process. The stats for the match show just how well Liverpool did against City, when compared to the Citizens’ previous league opponents.

Hart has only had to make 3.8 saves per match on average, and Liverpool gave him over fifty percent more work to do. At the other end of the pitch, City had been averaging a frightening twenty shots per game until they went to Anfield; the Reds limited them to just seven. Liverpool can be proud of their performance against City, even if they only earned a single point for their efforts.

The final match of the blank cheque trilogy saw Liverpool return to Stamford Bridge, and this time my team selection was spot on.

Maxi continued his fabulous scoring form by slotting home a perfect cross from Craig Bellamy. The Argentine now has ten goals from his last nine starts for Liverpool, stretching back to last season, which is a fabulous return. The signing of Maxi on a free transfer was certainly one of Rafa Benitez’shrewdest transfer moves.  Martin Kelly then got his head to another pinpoint Bellamy cross, from a free kick on this occasion, and the win was sealed.

Proud Welshman Bellamy deserves a huge amount of credit for registering two assists and earning the fans’ man of the match award so soon after the tragic death of his friend and mentor Gary Speed. A word, too, for the travelling Kop, who proved they know where the lines of rivalry are drawn, loudly chanting boyhood Evertonian Speed’s name at several points throughout the match, whilst the Chelsea fans booed Lucas Leiva when he was carried off on a stretcher. Such instances remind me why I chose Liverpool in my formative years.

The injury to Lucas, which has since been confirmed to have rendered him unavailable for the remainder of the season, was the only black mark on another fantastic night for Liverpool and Kenny Dalglish. I suspect that Jay Spearing, will finally be given another chance to shine in a deep Anfield squad. Jonjo Shelvey, who has scored six goals in ten games on loan at Blackpool, has also been recalled to add to the squad’s midfield options.

As for Dalglish, he has now managed the Reds to four of their last six wins at Stamford Bridge, and one of those was in 1989! He seems to have the measure of Chelsea, and long may it continue. Liverpool have now won four successive matches against the Blues for the first time since 1974, which shows how rare it such dominance can be. They actually won five in a row in that spell which began in 1972.  There’s a bit of motivational material — not that the King has seemed lacking for any.

With a cup semi-final in the bag, giving Dalglish a home domestic cup tie after five away trips in a row, and with a 1.77 points-per-game average in the league with six winnable (on paper, at least) matches to come, I am certainly looking forward to the next couple of months.

Statistics sourced from EPLIndex. Read more of Andrew Beasley @ basstunedtored.com

Chelsea’s latest big game defeats, this time a double whammy delivered by Kenny Dalglish’s Liverpool in the league and League Cup, and a Champions League defeat to Bayer Leverkusen, prove that a complete revamp of the starting XI (and squad) is needed by the start of next season.  For now, the focus for André Villas-Boas’ team is securing a Champions League place, but one eye must be on how he can refresh the aging squad that he has inherited.

]AC Milan, in the years prior to last season’s Scudetto triumph, weren’t able to re-invigorate their squad in a timely fashion.  Instead, Rossoneri fans were forced to endure a stretch in which their thirty-somethings were routinely exposed by an Inter side which was bringing through players such as Mario Balotelli and Diego Milito.  It has been a similar experience for Stamford Bridge faithful in the current Premier League campaign.

While Frank Lampard is playing well at the moment after being dropped by Villas-Boas for the game against Swansea, the same can’t be said for the rest of the veterans.  While the pundits are quick to point out any mistake which David Luiz makes, it is surprising that John Terry isn’t being grilled in like fashion, especially as he is having a very poor season.

Personally, I thought that Luiz handled the very slippery Luis Suarez very well, most notably in the league match two weekends gone.  That Phil Dowd denied his appeals for a penalty in the Cup tie doesn’t take away from his ability to contribute at both ends.  He also denied Maxi Rodriguez superbly on Tuesday evening.

Terry, though, looks slow on and off the ball, is making unusual mistakes and looks to be shell of the player who was named in the FIFAPRO World XI five times in a row.  He was terribly exposed against the Reds, with the attempted slide tackle on Jordan Henderson and his inability to win a 50-50 against Dirk Kuyt summing up his Sunday.

Nor is Ashley Cole looking as solid this year.   He was caught hopelessly out of position numerous times in attempting to deal with Kuyt and Glen Johnson.  On Tuesday, at least, the pressure was coming from the opposite side, where Craig Bellamy delivered an emotionally charged performance in tribute to his friend Gary Speed, who sadly took his leave of this world on the weekend.

While Didier Drogba and Florent Malouda enjoyed improved performances against Liverpool, it is difficult to envision them lining up for the Blues in 2012, especially Drogba.  Like Terry, the Ivorian is a shadow of the player he once was.  It is quite sad to see the decline of two players who have meant so much to Chelsea over the years.

Yet, as well as replacing the old guard with capable younger players, Villas-Boas must also rid his squad of its dead wood.  Sir Alex Ferguson must be thanking Chelsea every day that they saved him from buying John Obi Mikel a couple of years ago.  At one point seen as the replacement for Claude Makelele, Mikel has become a liability whenever he is on the field.  When you are getting outplayed by Charlie Adam — who looks as though he took a wrong turn after punching the time clock, kit and boots over his shoulder, late for his pub league match — there is no way you should be even mentioned in the same breath as Makelele.

Mikel may have once been the most accurate passer in the Premier League two years running, but he is making up for that now.  The holding midfield player for Chelsea needs to dictate the tempo of the game, no matter the opponent, disrupting the opponents attack and creating chances at the opposite end.  Despite being afforded numerous opportunities, the Nigerian has proven inadequate at both.

Solomon Kalou and Jose Bosingwa are two other players who should find themselves leaving the club in the near future.  Although they have had their moments, their careers show every sign of being on the decline.  If Chelsea do indeed get rid of Drogba, Anelka, Malouda, Bosingwa, Mikel, Kalou, and maybe even Alex, then replacements will be needed.

Even though it failed to pay immediate dividends, playing talented youngsters Josh McEachran, Ryan Bertrand, Oriol Romeu and Romelu Lukaku was the right thing for Villas-Boas to do in the rematch against the Anfield crew.  Their lack of experience showed late on, but a bit of post-holiday shopping may augment that.

Signing Gary Cahill and a winger in the January transfer window would be a good start for Villas-Boas. With those two additions, a 4-2-3-1 formation may get the best out of Fernando Torres, but perhaps more importantly it will maximise Juan Mata’s effectiveness.  The latter Spaniard is the only Chelsea player providing stellar outings on a consistent basis.

While the £50 million invested in Torres suggests that he should be the squad’s cornerstone, it has now become apparent that the team should be built around Mata, in his advanced role behind the strikers.  While two players in the winter window may stabilise the current situation, it will likely take further renovations in the summer to complete the project.  The question is, will the embattled Portuguese manager survive long enough to finish what he’s begun?

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This weekend, Chelsea welcomes Liverpool to Stamford Bridge, signaling the start of an important run of games for the Blues throughout November and December, a period in which they have struggled in the past.  This dreaded period has been responsible for spoiling three of Chelsea’s recent title challenges after the club had come roaring out of the gate.

In the 2006-07 Premier League season, many were tipping Chelsea to claim their third title in a row, especially with their ability to win games with late goals. In December though, Jose Mourinho’s teams found out the hard way that late goals don’t always come, giving the advantage to Manchester United who ultimately won the league.

The following season, Chelsea were again tipped for the title on the back of their impressive start under Brazilian World Cup winning coach Luis Felipe Scolari. Once again, however, their form nose-dived in November and December, ruining any title aspirations and ultimately leading to Big Phil’s sacking in February.

Last season, it was a case of same sh**, different year, with the stunning start to the season followed by an equally spectacular collapse, following the sacking of well-liked assistant Ray Wilkins.  The stretch was one of the worst runs of form during their time in the Premier League.  While their incredible run down the stretch put them back in the race, the early.

So how does Andre Villas-Boas solve what Mourinho, Scolari, and Carlo Ancelotti couldn’t and make sure that Chelsea doesn’t experience their all too familiar November and December decline?

With Manchester City nine points ahead of the Blues in the league, many believe that the title is already out of Chelsea’s reach,  and are already focused on consolidating third place — the final automatic berth into Roman Abramovich’s yet-to-be-realised dream, the Champions League.   Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham, and Newcastle are all currently within shouting distance of Chelsea, so laying the foundation for 2012-13 may be the wisest course.

On the other hand, if you look at the upcoming games in all competitions,  seven of eleven in the Premier League, Carling Cup, and Champions League are at Stamford Bridge.  No disrespect to any opponents, but Chelsea can realistically expect to win six of those matches, with the critical match against City being the only fixture to give the squad pause.

Of their four away games, Newcastle, Bayer Leverkusen, and Tottenham will all be difficult tests for Chelsea, although they are more than capable of getting a good result against any of them.  The fourth contest, against relegation threatened Wigan, should see AVB come out on top in a battle between two young Iberians.

To shake the early winter ‘snow’monkey off his club’s back, Villas-Boas must stabilise his shaky defence, especially as they will have to contain the likes of Luis Suarez, Steven Gerrard, David Silva, Sergio Aguero, Edin Dzeko, Samir Nasri, Mario Balotelli, and Roberto Soldado.  Yet, it is not as though the Blues have been impotent with the Portuguese in charge.  While there has been much criticism levied at the Chelsea attack, they have scored often enough to take points, only to see their mates fail to hold up their end.

If Villas-Boas can solidify the back-line, the attack is likely to benefit.  Should that occur, Chelsea has every chance of breezing through what has recently been a very stormy portion of the season.  Even if many of the results are ground out as was the case against Blackburn, it won’t matter.  The chairman may not be entertained, but his new Portuguese manager knows as well as the old that 1-0 garners the same three points as 5-1.

Elsewhere, it was really shocking to learn that it was a Chelsea fan who apparently leveled racial abuse at Daniel Sturridge.  Racism is absolutely disgraceful, regardless of circumstances, so it goes without saying that if the perpetrator is caught, he should not only be banned, but should face the same police scrutiny which John Terry has been enduring.  That said and while Sturridge’s experience pales in comparison to the pillorying that Paul Canoville underwent in the ’80s, it is somewhat distressing that any Chelsea player would be subject to such treatment from a so-called Blues supporter, and even moreso to think that such a person may have behaved similarly to opponents, while wearing the club’s colours and badge.

Can’t we just accept that the only way to be better than anyone else is through performance?

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In 2010, the Colorado Rapids found their stride down the stretch of the regular season.  They continued that momentum into the precarious do-or-die environment of the playoffs, eventually overcoming FC Dallas in the final moments of extra time to win what might have been the best MLS Cup Final yet to be played, certainly eclipsing the similar run of Real Salt Lake, who stunned the Los Angeles Galaxy the year before, and making up for the lack of a marquee club in the showpiece match during a World Cup Year.  Much of the credit was given to English coach Gary Smith’s emphasis on a strong, physical presence straight up the middle of the pitch.

This season, despite adding one or two players, most notably former Hull City standout and Irish international Caleb Folan, the Rapids finished in virtually the same position as the previous campaign and were eliminated early in the playoffs.  Smith was sacked after the defeat, proving that, despite the long term philosophy collectively espoused by the league, there are still some impatient ownership groups,.  Never mind that only twice in the league’s now sixteen year existence has a club successfully defended its MLS crown — DC United in the sophomore campaign and Houston Dynamo in 2007 — the Rapids backroom staff felt the need for a change.  Even more puzzling is that the team is owned by Stan Kroenke, the same man who now presides patiently over Arsenal’s six-year trophy drought in the Premier League and Europe.  Perhaps the man who married into the Wal-Mart fortune feels that is enough staid conservatism for one man and has fallen into the same trap as London rival Roman Abramovich, preferring attractive football to a solid team capable of producing a steady run of trophies.

Meanwhile, the Houston Dynamo, holders of four MLS titles (two won during their early years in San Jose) were rewarded for sticking with coach Dominic Kinnear.  The architect of the most recent back-to-back champions endured a stretch of mediocrity — and the accompanying criticisms — which can be attributed in great part to midfielder Stuart Holden’s exodus to Bolton Wanderers and the chronic injury problems of striker Brian Ching.  Dynamo did not return to their dominant ways in 2011; rather they assumed Salt Lake and Colorado’s role as the late charger, rising up the table through August and September to finish runners-up to Eastern Conference champion Sporting KC.

Let’s ignore the question of why both Houston and Kansas City, both on the wrong side of the Mississippi and associated with the American Old West, are placed in the Eastern Conference.  What’s important is that, as with RSL and the Rapids before them, Houston’s rich vein of form has extended deep into the post-season tournament.

If the Texans are to win a fifth title, however, they will have to produce an extraordinary performance to claim it.  Not only must they face the consecutive Supporters Shield winning Los Angeles Galaxy, led by USMNT talisman Landon Donovan, former England and possible Great Britain Olympic captain David Beckham, late season acquisition Robbie Keane, and MLS Defender of the Year Omar Gonzalez, but they must do it in the unfriendly confines of the Home Depot Center, the Galaxy’s home ground, where the side are unbeaten in this campaign.  Further, it’s likely that they’ll have to do so without the services of their own playmaker, Brad Davis, who left their semi-final victory over Sporting KC in the early going, with a torn quad muscle.

While Houston is surely disappointed at the loss, they will take confidence from the fact that they went on to victory despite Davis’absence.  There are also chinks in the Galaxy armour, which Kinnear will look to exploit.

Donovan is nursing a leg injury himself; not nearly so serious, as he’s played all three playoff matches and scored from the spot twice, but sufficiently troubling for the star to excuse himself from international duty in France on the weekend.

As well as the twelve-goal man’s physical limitations, there are questions about the limited familiarity between newcomer Robbie Keane and the other two attacking stars.  Galaxy fans, who endured Beckham’s European vacation in a vain quest for one last World Cup adventure, must be grinding their teeth at the thought of Keane ditching the team ahead of the MLS Cup, to join the Ireland side as it looks to qualify for Euro 2012.  Galaxy coach Bruce Arena has likely already spoken with Ireland boss Giovanni Trappatoni about only using Keane as an emergency substitute in Tuesday’s second leg, after the Irish romped to a nearly insurmountable 4-0 lead over Estonia in the opening match.  Keane’s spirit will definitely be buoyed by qualification, but an unnecessary knock might throw a wrench into LA’s plans.

In any event, all the pressure is on the Angelenos and their biggest star.  In the fifth and final year of his contract, Beckham has finally put together a full, productive season in keeping with his own lofty standards.  He appeared in twenty-six matches, registered fifteen assists (second only to Davis’sixteen) and kept his famous temper under relative control, collecting ten yellow cards but no sendings off.  Even better, his stellar play quieted the hecklers and preempted any further handbags with supporters.

Historically, however, the big game has rarely been Beckham’s friend.  Two red cards for England and an ineffective performance against Real Salt Lake (due to injury) in the 2009 MLS Cup are all he has to show for one-off affairs.  Although the league cannot afford $5 million per year on a thirty-six year old who has lost a step and was never the swiftest in the first place, MLS commissioner Don Garber has stated that, regardless of next week’s result, Beckham has delivered for the league both on and off the field, and they would love to have him back.  If he wants to stay, Golden Balls will only help his position if he can orchestrate a third championship for the Galaxy.  However, with their own midfield wizard sidelined, don’t be surprised if the Dynamo pay special attention to the face of the league, in an attempt to stir his prodigious temper.

Why not?  It’s worked before.

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The media vultures have been circling over Anfield in the wake of Liverpool’s lacklustre  0-0 draw with Swansea City at the weekend, which was Kenny Dalglish’s first goalless draw since returning to the manager’s office in January.  The weekend result, of course, followed just a fortnight after an equally disappointing one-goal standoff with the Canaries of Norwich City.

With such dismal efforts, it’s hard to argue with the press when they suggest the Reds are for the birds.  Certainly, the headlines didn’t sow any seeds of hope.

The Guardian went with ‘Carroll gives limp Liverpool new kind of Tosh’, comparing the current striking duo at Anfield with Kevin Keegan and John Toshack. “Unfortunately for all concerned, whereas the excellent Suárez may be Keegan’s equal, Carroll is “Tosh” only in the pejorative sense” the report said.

Personally, I think that the media have been a little harsh on Andy Carroll. So far, he has played 1,088 minutes (or twelve full games effectively) in the league for Liverpool, and he has scored four goals. A one-in-three scoring ratio is hardly the return of an outright flop, especially when you consider that he was patently not fit during his first four months with the club at the end of last season.

The Reds’early season advantage in the league table over the likes of Spurs and Arsenal, who were considered their main rivals for fourth place, has been rapidly eroded.  Much of that is due to the fact that only two of the six matches played at Anfield this season have been won. Some of the criticism in the media is therefore merited, but not to the levels it has reached.

The point earned on Saturday by last season’s Championship play-off winners means that the Reds have now only won three of their last eleven games against newly promoted sides. Hardly a record that will strike fear into Queen’s Park Rangers when they come to Anfield in December. Carroll and Jose Enrique’s old mate Joey Barton and his new side have beaten Chelsea and gave Manchester City a fright at Loftus Road at the weekend.  One doesn’t need one hundred and forty characters to understand that they won’t be overawed.

Make no mistake about it though, the Swans were decent value for a point, and a repeat of the 8-0 defeat they suffered on their previous visit to Anfield in 1990 never looked more than a million-to-one shot.  Michel Vorm, the Swansea goalkeeper, was equal to everything that came his way, and made some wonderful saves. He visited Anfield last season with FC Utrecht in the Europa League, and that also finished 0-0, so he clearly plays well against the Reds.

The Swans’ best chance fell for Mark Gower, who has been more renowned for his creative abilities this season.  Prior to the match he had averaged 3.8 chances created per game, and no player in the top five European leagues can match that.  Swansea boss Brendan Rogers must wonder at all the fuss about Xavi and Iniesta.

Poor finishing in front of goal once again cost Liverpool more dearly than any other aspect of their play.  Whilst this was certainly one of the poorest performances since the weign of Woy, the Reds still managed to have twenty-five shots at goal; that only five of those were on target illustrates best why another two points were dropped at home.

Tree-huggers everywhere grew more agitated, as Liverpool continued their record assault on the woodwork. Carroll hit the bar early on, making it eleven ricochets on the season.  They did eventually find the target, but Dirk Kuyt’s effort was narrowly — but correctly —  ruled offside towards the end of the match.

Liverpool’s fascination with near misses is becoming beyond a joke now. Not only do they lead the Premier League in this dubious category, the much maligned Stewart Downing has found the frame more times himself (three) than some teams. He’s also without an assist, yet if Carroll had converted that early chance on Saturday, then the £20 million man would be off the mark in that regard. If ever a player needed a little luck to kick-start his season…

Whilst it is still early days this term, Liverpool currently have a better points per game average away from home than at Anfield, and that is not a common occurrence. In fact, Liverpool have already earned half as many points on their travels as they managed in the whole of last season, despite only playing five games on the road so far.

When you consider that they have played two promoted sides at home, plus Bolton who are in the bottom three, whilst their trips have included Arsenal and Everton, their lopsided record this season seems even stranger.

Overall, they are now averaging 1.73 points per game. Whilst this would have been enough for fourth place in twelve of the previous sixteen seasons, it’s clear that the bar for fourth has been considerably raised; indeed, the 1.79 points per game that has always meant a minimum of fourth place in years gone by is unlikely to be enough this time around.

After the forthcoming international break, Liverpool have a run of three massive games within ten days: Chelsea away and Manchester City at home in the league, and then another trip to Stamford Bridge for a league cup quarter-final.  In this, they parallel an unexpected rival for a Champions League place, Newcastle, who face the same three sides in the league once play resumes.

Everyone expected that Carroll and Enrique would enjoy far more success than their former comrades after their respective moves.  Amazingly, it hasn’t turned out that way, but their clubs, old and new, may have their seasons defined by their November exploits.  For both, three defeats will have the vultures picking at their carcasses.

Statistics sourced from EPLIndex. Read more of Andrew Beasley @ basstunedtored.com

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Another international break is upon us.  They seem to be coming fast and furious, this autumn.  Then again, so does Newcastle.  Inexplicably, the Magpies are in third place, ahead of familiar names and expected Champions League contenders Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and Tottenham.  It’s not a distant third, either; the Geordies are just a single point behind Manchester United.  In the armed forces and the constabulary, on the high seas and anywhere else where radio is still a common form of communication, the call sign for such unexplained phenomenon is Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

What makes the club’s early success so surprising is that their chairman has developed a reputation for doing everything that a team owner can to guarantee that his club sinks into mediocrity.  Discount sportswear magnate Mike Ashley has applied the rules of business to football, much to the derision of all of us who know that running a club is much like owning a yacht; in that they’re both bottomless money pits.  If spending large amounts of cash with no other return than a few moments of pleasure causes you concern, then football isn’t for you.

Chairmen such as Jack Walker and Peter Ridsdale have experienced both the adoration and hatred of their supporters, with the love flowing so long as they lavished money on their respective clubs.  When the well ran dry, however, and they had to tighten their belts, they quickly became pariahs.  Yet, more reviled still are those owners at big clubs who seemingly sit on their money, when it could be used to improve the club.  Supporters would like nothing more than to see the back of such skinflints.

The Red Knights at Manchester United have had little success in dislodging the Glazers because Sir Alex Ferguson has proven adept at developing young talent and keeping the Red Devils in the top two for so long that it seems as though they have never been any lower in the table.  The Kop, however, mounted an impressive guerrilla campaign to force the club’s board to sell against the wishes of the overextended Americans Tom Hicks and George Gillett.

The Toon Army’s war against Ashley has not been nearly so effective, as evident in the fact that while both the Glazers and Hicks & Gillett became very reluctant to show themselves at matches, Ashley proudly dons the Newcastle kit and sits amidst the fans at every game at hallowed St James Park.

Sit there he does, though, rooting on his Magpies, despite the massive outcry from those around him when he attempted to rename the club’s historic ground for marketing purposes; despite the overwhelming condemnation when he failed to hire Alan Shearer as manager, even though everyone else believed that the former captain was the man to bring them immediately back to the top flight; despite the unanimous disgust at his sacking of Chris Hughton after the oft called upon caretaker boss had done the job in Shearer’s stead and more, knocking Chelsea out of the Carling Cup at Stamford Bridge, defeating Arsenal in the league and guiding the Magpies into the top five of the Premier League in the opening months of their return campaign; despite the outrage when he hired personal friend Alan Pardew as Hughton’s replacement shortly after Pardew had been sacked for coaching Southampton to the bottom of the League One table; despite selling hometown hero and Shearer heir apparent Andy Carroll to Liverpool for £35 million and reinvesting little, if any of the profit; despite allowing team morale to sink to the point where captain Kevin Nolan forced a sale to newly relegated West Ham, now managed by one-time Toon boss Sam Allardyce; despite those two champions of free speech and public protest via Twitter, Jose Enrique and Joey Barton, following Nolan out the door, the former sold, again to Liverpool, and the latter permitted to move to QPR on a free transfer; and despite replacing the three departed Britons and single Spaniard with so many French-speaking players that there was a run on Rosetta Stone software in local bookshops.

That’s a lot of spite for any man to endure, yet Ashley has done so.  What’s worse, the combination of Toon’s recent success and the unimpressive performances of those he has discarded in the name of efficiency, workplace harmony and cost consciousness has largely, with the exception of renaming the ground, proven him to be right; one man against tens of thousands, a lone voice in the wilderness.  When you’re talking about a man who sells jogging suits to overweight couch potatoes at a discount, that’s frankly embarrassing.

Yet, here we are.  Newcastle is one of only two unbeaten teams in the Premier League; the other, ironically, being obscenely wealthy Manchester City.  Toon may not have played anyone of consequence other than the then-floundering Gunners, but, unlike the Liverpool side partially staffed by former Magpies Carroll and Enrique, they have taken all the points which one would expect of them.

A former fringe player under Hughton, striker Leon Best, and new arrival Demba Ba, who passed Kevin Nolan on his way out the Upton Park door, have made people forget Carroll, whereas the Geordie giant’s meager haul of goals in a red strip have left the Kop all too mindful of his exorbitant price tag.

Pardew has his squad fully confident and playing amazingly consistent football, while Hughton, again in charge of a freshly demoted side with no money to spend, is finding it difficult to weave his magic a second time.  Birmingham is four points out of the playoff positions and one place away from the bottom half of the table.  Hardly the dominance the former Irish international enjoyed with Newcastle.

The outspoken Barton is leading QPR, who are holding up well in the middle of the Premier League standings, although he personally has felt a backlash after putting the knife to Arsene Wenger and Wolves enforcer Karl Henry in one hundred and forty characters or less.

Most notable of all is the general lack of respect from the public for Alan Shearer as a broadcaster, largely down to his casual approach to research in preparedness for the World Cup in South Africa.  After all, who would want a manager who saw no need to do his homework?

As ludicrous as it seems, all the evidence leads one to the conclusion that a football club can be run both competitively and profitably at the same time.  Of course, after the international break, Newcastle face a run of games against their fellow clubs in the Champions League frame.  The daunting trifecta of matches begins with a tour of Manchester; Saturday the nineteenth at a stadium which is itself a cautionary tale in naming rights, the Etihad Campus, against City, and seven days later at Old Trafford against United.  Finally, Chelsea journey Tyneside on third December, hoping to prey on a bruised, battered and demoralised Toon.

If that is in fact what the Blues discover when they arrive, and they have their way, then the lack of points from the three fixtures may affect the Magpies through the remainder of the season.  On the other hand, if Pardew’s squad can come away with three solid performances and a result or two, there is no telling how high the club will go or whether its supporters will actually come to love their universally despised owner.  After all, when has that ever been the case in Geordieland?

Sir Alex Ferguson. Just the mention of his name conjures up so many memories for any Manchester United fan. There are all the last-gasp winners, the iconic signings, the phenomenal games and the trophies, oh the trophies.

Never before has a manager made a club their own quite like Sir Alex, except maybe the late, great Bill Shankly at Liverpool. Apart from these two majestic Scotsmen, no other manager in history has quite managed to embody the spirit of a club. There may be the argument that Arsene Wenger has managed it at Arsenal but the teams he has built have been so contrasting that you would struggle to compare him to either Fergie or Shankly.

The fact is this: Manchester United is Alex Ferguson and Alex Ferguson is Manchester United.

The  sight of him striding up and down the touchline, chewing on his gum with the intensity and purpose of a mastiff gnawing a bone, and the accounts of his terrible clubhouse tirades and alternative use for cosmetological equipment have made him a living legend.

It almost didn’t happen.  When he came from Aberdeen, replacing Ron Atkinson in mid-campaign, the club finished eleventh.  He led them to second place the following year but then they dropped back to eleventh.  Only the first of a long string of memorable victories, an FA Cup replay defeat of Crystal Palace saved him from the axe.  It wouldn’t be long before the suggestion of sacking Fergie would be greeted with laughter.  United’s dominance in the Premier League years soon made him untouchable.

His fighting spirit is United to a tee. Not once have I ever seen a Manchester United team roll over in my seventeen years of support. Not once. There may have been a couple of shambolic performances down the years, the 6-1 mauling at the hands of City being the latest, but there is also the 0-0 draw against Burton Albion and the 6-3 loss to Southampton. Yet, even when you look back at the embarrassments, you have to say, United always played the United way.

Even better for each of those few humiliations, there have been any number of defining triumphs. Look at the recent 8-2 battering of Arsenal, the recent 6-1 win over those same Gunners, that wonderful penalty shootout win over Chelsea in the Champions League, the 5-3 comeback against Spurs, the 2-1 win in the Nou Camp over Bayern Munich and the 7-1 humbling of Roma. There have been so many that I could write an article just on the subject of United fans’best memories and I think I’d take a 6-1 defeat if it meant 10 more nights like the one in 1999, or 2008.

That is the testament to Sir Alex Ferguson’s management; every loss is answered by a run of victories and every departing star makes way for a brilliant replacement.

That is, again, a testament to his management. Look at David Beckham. A loyal servant to United since he joined as a schoolboy but when he left for Real Madrid in 2003, United pocketed £25 million. As a replacement they signed a rather precocious teenager for £12 million. That teenager was Cristiano Ronaldo, and what a player he is now. When the Portuguese followed Golden Balls to the Spanish capital, for a tidy £80 million this time, Wayne Rooney stepped to the fore.  When Paul Scholes retired, the manager remained calm while all around him panicked, calling for a major signing, be it Wesley Sneijder, Samir Nasri or Luka Modric.  Instead, Sir Alex gave young Tom Cleverley an opportunity.  Before his unfortunate injury, Cleverley stepped seamlessly into the creative midfield role and led United to that Community Shield fight back over City.  For me, that is Fergie’s greatest attribute – the ability to spot a diamond in the rough.

Chicharito is his most recent, signed for £7 million from Chivas and already an established name on the United team sheet. And there have been so many more on down the years. Nemanja Vidic was plucked from obscurity, so was Patrice Evra along with Peter Schmeichel and Denis Irwin. Of course, that hasn’t stopped the gaffer from making a few mistakes. Kleberson and Eric Djemba-Djemba spring to mind, along with Massimo Taibi and Bebe (who Fergie admitted to signing sight unseen) but the old prospector has yielded far more nuggets than dirt in his time.

In fact, so many great players have passed through Old Trafford in my lifetime, that it’s difficult to name the greatest match the club has played under Ferguson.  After thinking on it, my choice may surprise a number of people, as it is not a final, nor a deciding game in the title race. Instead it’s the 1-0 win over Barcelona at Old Trafford in 2008.

Part of the magic of that victory was that it was one of those rare matches where United were not expected to win.  They’d held Barcelona at the Nou Camp with Ronaldo missing a penalty, but the Catalans had looked stronger, more decisive. The rematch at Old Trafford will forever be etched into my memory and that of thousands of other United fans.

It wasn’t just that we won, it was the way it was accomplished. A screamer from Paul Scholes in the early stages was coupled with the most outstanding defensive display I have ever seen. Barcelona threw everything at United — absolutely everything — and the defence was magnificent. Owen Hargreaves played at right back, with Wes Brown and Rio Ferdinand the centre back partnership and it was Patrice Evra at left back. Looking at that defensive line up, you’d struggle to believe they kept a clean sheet against the likes of Messi and Henry but they did it through sheer force of will. They believed they were going to get through the game unscathed, they believed they were going to make it into the Champions League final.

And who is that down to?  Sir Alex Ferguson of course. Very few manager can claim to have tactically outclassed a Barcelona side in the past ten years. Sir Alex did, although Barça would exact their revenge.

Not many managers can claim to have won two European Cups, either. Or to have lost another two.  Not many managers can claim to have built not one, not two, but nigh on five title winning sides, to have averaged at least one major trophy per year over a quarter of a century or to have defied the BBC and the FA for seven years and remain employed.  Sir Alex Ferguson can.

Whenever a new power has risen to threaten United’s supremacy, be it Gerrard Houllier and Rafa Benitez’s Liverpool sides, Arsenal’s Invincibles or Roman Abramovich’s Chelsea, Fergie has always bounced back, defying belief, with a new stronger squad.  For those who think city’s ascendance will finally put him on the sidelines, they’d best think again.  They’ve only given him a reason to stick around.  Sir Alex loves nothing more than a challenge.

And that is why it’s going to be so hard to replace him. Names like Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola always pop up when the discussion is revisited.  While either of that duo would be wonderful, when the Scot finally abdicates his throne, United fans had best be prepared for a difficult time.  There is simply no one on the planet who can walk in and immediately top twenty-five years of glory.

Is Michel Platini fighting a losing battle or is 2011-12 merely the final, frantic, spasming death throe of the way it’s always been done?  After a cautious 2010-11, when spending was tempered by the reality of a global recession and the perceived threat of Financial Fair Play, 2011-12 has erupted into the Year of Money, making one wonder just how seriously the big clubs are taking UEFA’s attack on excessive spending.

Look at the defending champions in Ligue 1, the Bundesliga, Serie A and even the Premier League.  Lille and Borussia Dortmund each won their competitions with young, mostly homegrown squads.  Both sides emerged from a condensed pack in the second half of the season, taking control of their leagues while the traditional powers, such as Bayern, Bremen, Leverkusen, Marseille and Lyon, struggled to come to grips with the fact that age and experience were no longer sufficient to overcome youth and speed.

It was the same elsewhere.  AC Milan traveled a more beaten path, acquiring thoroughbreds Robinho, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Antonio Cassano, albeit at cut-rate prices, as the Rossoneri also emerged from a jumbled pack in the winter months to claim their first Scudetto in seven years.  In England, Manchester United belied their status as the most valuable sporting club in the world, weathering Chelsea’s early dominance, Arsenal’s enthusiasm and City’s persistence and pacing themselves to their record nineteenth championship, without any noticeable spending.

Barcelona was the only champion who won by spending big, bringing in David Villa and Javier Mascherano in a bid to stay ahead of Real Madrid, now led by their Champions League nemesis, Jose Mourinho.

This season, the shoe is on the other foot.  The Achilles heel of Arsenal’s youth policy — that loyalty to club is trumped by big money offers — was cruel exposed this summer, with both Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri jumping ship.  The same has occurred at Lille and Dortmund, with players such as Yohan Cabaye, Gervinho and André Schürrle lured away by clubs willing to pay more than the title holders can afford to keep their talent.   Milan, who made only small changes in the summer, are chasing a completely revamped Juventus.  United, who spent big but focused on youth, were blown out of the water by their ‘noisy neighbours’, who again lavished tens of millions on big name stars while casting away last year’s investments like outdated fashions.

A week after their 6-1 thrashing of United at Old Trafford, which put them five points and twelve goals clear at the top of the Premier League, City widened the gap by beating Wolves 3-1 while United held off Everton 1-0.   All that oil money is beginning to pay off.

In Paris, another Qatari contingent has invested millions in that city’s lone major club, signing Palermo’s Javier Pastore out from under the noses of Chelsea and complementing his talents with those of Kevin Gameiro, Jeremy Menez and a host of others.  After a short but bumpy bedding in, during which nearly everyone other than new Sporting Director Leonardo was ready to panic, PSG are now three points ahead of Montpellier in first place.

Bayern, whose reputation as big spenders may colour perceptions somewhat, largely stood pat in the off-season.  Their one major purchase was secured before the window opened, agreeing to terms with Schalke for the services of German number one Manuel Neuer, after a heated negotiation.  Still, the line-up which is now leaving the rest of the Bundesliga behind is comprised of highly sought after and dearly bought talent.  The key differences are that Franck Ribery is finally in the full bloom of health and form, and that new old coach Jupp Heynckes has placed complete trust in Mario Gomez, whereas had his predecessor Louis van Gaal had his druthers, the twelve goal man would have been offloaded two summers ago.

Ironically, the lone exception of money talking and bullshit walking this year in the major competitions is Barcelona.  Despite finally prying Cesc Fabregas from the Gunners and paying through the nose for the now injured Alexis Sánchez, the Catalans are chasing Real Madrid, who turned down opportunities to purchase Neymar and Emmanuel Adebayor.  To be fair, the Castilians did match Barça euro for euro during their summer shopper spree, but other than Fabio Coentrao, most of Madrid’s investment has been earmarked for the future, while Cesc and Sánchez were very much intended to be plug and play.  In that light, Real’s early lead seems an example of doing more with less.  Of course, as the former American wrestler Nature Boy Rick Flair was fond of saying, “To be the man, you have to beat the man.”  So, one can’t put too much weight on the Meringues’early lead until they meet  the Blaugrana in the opening leg of this season’s Clasico in December.   When the season ends, it won’t be a shock if Barcelona’s €55 million outlay brings them yet another championship.

The lure of the big buck works both ways, however.  United Arab Emirates club Al Ain forced a loan from Premier League side Sunderland by turning the head of Ghanaian World Cup hero Asamoah Gyan with the promise of outlandish wages and let’s not even get into what Russian Premier League minnows Anzhi Makhachkala paid to sign Samuel Eto’o.  So, it’s not just the top sides who flash the cash.

In any event, it does not appear that clubs are taking UEFA’s proposals seriously.  All told, UEFA clubs paid out over half a billion euros for players in the summer.  That’s a mind-boggling figure, even if top sides weren’t facing the prospect of losing their license to play in the Champions or Europa Leagues should they fail to balance the books.  That they are makes their lack of restraint even more puzzling.

On the other hand, the top clubs’continued dissatisfaction with international scheduling and compensation for injured players has led European Club Association chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge to suggest that the organisation’s contract with UEFA, which obligates major clubs to compete in the Champions and Europa Leagues and to allow their stars to compete when summoned by their national teams, should not be renewed when it expires in 2014.

If that occurs, ECA members could break away from their national federations and form an elite European league, possibly patterned after the American franchise system, which does not employ promotion and relegation.  While the concept may seem completely alien and even impossible to the average European fan, it has been so profitable that the Forbes list of the fifty most valuable sports teams is dominated by American franchises.  Most notably, all thirty-two NFL clubs are on the list, although they are joined by six baseball and two basketball squads.  F1 teams Ferrari and McLaren also make the cut, leaving just eight places (less than twenty percent) to be split between the Premier League, Serie A, La Liga and Bundesliga, UEFA’s so-called Big Four.  ECA big wigs can’t be happy with those numbers.

Further research into dealings across the pond reveals that baseball and basketball both support lower league programs which the universally profitable NFL has chosen to abandon.

An ECA break from UEFA, in order to follow gridiron’s ‘look out for number one’example, would naturally have a drastic effect on the footballing landscape.  An elite competition without promotion and relegation would likely consign lower divisions and non league football to the rubbish heap.  Big clubs with the power to deny national federations access to their best players would also threaten the existence of the Euros, Copa Libertadores, African Cup of Nations and, of course, the World Cup.  Yet, with the amazing success of the NFL, can ECA chairmen be blamed for wanting to be rid of the ‘dead weight’of the lower leagues in exchange for a much bigger slice of the pie?

Michel Platini doesn’t believe that the threats of the ECA are anything more than posturing. He points out that big clubs are just as much to blame for the crowded fixture list when they schedule extended summer tours to the far corners of the globe, regardless of the fact that these lucrative junkets help to promote UEFA as a whole.  But when he asks why the ECA doesn’t consider smaller clubs when lobbying for independent television rights, he loses his audience.  The big clubs know that they can make more money if they don’t have to prop up the lower tiers.  Threatening to “throw them out” before they leave of their own accord, as Platini did in July, may not be the best position to take.

Abandoning the century and a half old club system may seem inconceivable to UEFA, but both sides have been pushing hard to rake in every available penny and pound, filling the fixture list with competitions, friendlies and tours to the point of bursting, with neither group satisfied with their share of the spoils.  Platini needs to pay more heed to the clubs’argument that it is they who invest the money in players, assuming the greater financial risk.

Should he not, the question bears asking again.  Is Financial Fair Play necessary and just legislation which will corral irresponsible spending and preserve the UEFA club system or a draconian measure that will drive the big clubs right off the reservation?

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“I do believe that you can access truths about the game by speaking to Arsène Wenger, if he feels like telling you. I don’t believe you can access them by speaking to Wayne Rooney.”

So says Simon Kuper, in the introduction to his new book, entitled – deep breath – ‘Soccer Men: Profiles of the Rogues, Geniuses, and Neurotics Who Dominate the World’s Most Popular Sport’, which features profiles and interviews with a variety of the game’s greats, both past and present.

The above quote is the key theme of the book; players have very little, if anything, of interest to say.

“Twitter demonstrates the problem,” Kuper told me in an interview to promote the book.

“Players are constantly getting into trouble for things they have tweeted. In many countries, players have less freedom of speech now than they would have had in the Soviet Union. Players learn over time to say nothing.”

Indeed, there’s an amusing line in the profile of Freddy Adu (the only American player featured in the book) where Kuper states that the fourteen year old ‘spoke with more articulacy than I have heard from any adult England player’. But why are the English superstars so tongue-tied?

“I think it’s partly because they get teased by their peers if they sound too clever-clever or too middle-class. Their goal when speaking in interviews is to say nothing, because any interesting thoughts are liable to get them into trouble, and so inarticulacy becomes a sort of self-defence”.

The book is inspired by ‘The Football Man’, a 1968 book by Arthur Hopcraft, which Kuper admitted is “a little bit dated now”. But he felt the idea behind that book is still valid: “Portraying a series of individuals and thinking about what they have in common”.

It’s interesting then to see that the people in this book don’t actually have all that much in common. Besides being good at football and very career orientated (“In the end almost everyone in football is out for themselves” Kuper told me), there isn’t all that much that binds them based on the information that is presented here.

A chapter on a boasting Edgar Davids is followed directly by one about a shy Rivaldo; the likes of Jari Litamen and Thierry Henry are shown as being football obsessed, whilst it barely seems to register with Johnny Rep and Bernd Holzenbein (in a joint chapter) that they played in the World Cup final at all. The World Cup final!

The literary pretensions of the players themselves are entertainingly mocked in a chapter that looks at the autobiographies of England’s ‘golden generation’. Kuper confessed that no-one had ever asked him to write one, and I suspect few players will be asking him in future, if they have read this section of the book at least.

“I’d vaguely thought I’d be interested in doing it for Dennis Bergkamp but that won’t ever happen” Kuper revealed, and I wonder if, as the author of Soccernomics, he feels a connection with the Dutch legend who (as the book reveals) was teased as the dressing-room geek at Inter Milan.

Aside from looking at the players themselves, the book also covers the football cultures of different countries, which proves interesting. For example, we learn about the Argentine concept of the pibe, and that Dutch children often follow players rather than teams.

“If you grew up in Holland, you were taught an extreme interest in the actual game itself and in its tactics. So you learned to appreciate, for example, Bergkamp or Van Basten no matter which club they played for”. As an English fan of football, with all of its tribal rivalries and hostilities, this certainly seems an alien concept to me.

As the profiles date from 1997 to the present, it’s interesting to see which predictions Kuper made in his original articles came to fruition and which did not. I won’t spoil it here, but the author is honest enough to admit when he was off the mark.

It’s not just players in Kuper’s sights though; there are profiles of managers and ‘some other soccer men’ (as Part III of the book is titled).

Amongst these, there’s an interesting comparison between Glenn Hoddle and Tony Blair, from when one was England manager and the other the Prime Minister (the two most difficult jobs in the UK according to most of the natives). But who is soccer’s Barack Obama?

“Lilian Thuram is a very politically engaged man. They have something of the same aura: tall cerebral men who exude a great calm”. There you have it; look out Nicolas Sarkozy!

There’s also a fascinating portrait of Billy Beane, star of the book (and now film) ‘Moneyball’ who, it is revealed, is a soccer obsessive. With his analytical mind, I wonder if Beane could cross the divide and become a success in soccer. Kuper thinks so:

“I suspect it’s going to happen one day, that he’s going to make the leap to soccer, just because he has such passion for it and spends so much time thinking about it. Not soon, but one day”.

Whilst I very much enjoyed the book, as a fan who struggles to get tickets to see his own favoured team play, it does sometimes seem that Kuper is complaining a little too much about a life spent trying to interview players whilst going to every game imaginable, including the World Cup final itself in 2010. Want to swap places Simon?

But that’s a minor gripe. The book is very readable, obviously well written and researched, and you learn some incredible and occasionally startling facts about the stars of the game.

If nothing else, the book is worth reading to find out which World Cup winner showed his testicles to Luis Chilavert. You’re wondering now, aren’t you?

Soccer Men is available online at Amazon.com, BN.com (Barnes & Noble Booksellers) and in a book store near you.

Read more of Andrew Beasley @ basstunedtored.com

The Monday Morning Drip grinds up the footy fare from the weekend into a blend of the choicest bits from leagues all over the world.  It’s also a weekly opportunity to appeal to footy bloggers out there, who are looking for a new forum in which to display their wares.  So, if you enjoy blogging, want to reach new readers and are available to cover your favourite league or team, then just click Write For WFC!  

Meanwhile, open your laptop wide and say Ahhh.

Here’s this week’s Drip…

It’s amazing how much can change in a week.  Seven days ago, Manchester United and City were running away from the rest of the Premier League — from the world, to hear some talk — with no one to challenge them.  Two clubs from either side of the Alps changed that thinking during the week.  Bayern Munich put City in their place –as upstarts — with a 2-0 win at the Allianz Arena, which once again threw the lid off the contentious atmosphere in the City clubhouse.  Meanwhile Swiss side FC Basle nearly upended United at Old Trafford, with Ashley Young’s late effort rescuing a point for the English champions.  It took a bit of time for the two clubs to shake off the effects of those poor outings, both leaving it late to polish off their respective opponents, Norwich and Blackburn.

Yet, Sunday brought more disturbing news for the Mancunians, as Chelsea finally put in a complete performance, knocking off woeful Bolton, 5-1, at the Reebok.  It mattered not that the newly in-form Fernando Torres was suspended, as Frank Lampard proved that he is not nearly ready for the scrap heap, notching a hat trick.  Young Daniel Sturridge also quieted any worries that Torres might slip back into the doldrums after his ban ends, by supplying a brace himself.  After a moment of initial joy upon scoring his first, Sturridge also quieted his celebration, respectful of his recent spell with the Trotters.

There’s been a great deal of talk regarding the tenuous job security of the Steves, Bruce and Kean, at Sunderland and Blackburn, but the Wanderers’brain trust must be considering their options, too.  While his side has faced all the big guns in the first two months of the season, with points unsurprisingly difficult to come by, the club has capitulated far too easily in recent games.  Owen Coyle‘s open attacking style is pleasing to the eye and has high paid dividends on low investment, but with confidence at an all-time low, it may be time for the club to get down and dirty to rediscover their swagger.  The question is whether the Scot is prepared to do that.

Speaking of job security, the knives may be out again for Arsene Wenger, after the Gunners went down to defeat in the North London Derby against Spurs at White Hart Lane.  Yet, this was a match which promised to be a tough test, even in the best of circumstances.  These two played to a 6-5 aggregate in their league tie last season, when Arsenal were still in the title picture.  Given the vast amount of changes and key personnel missing on Sunday, a 2-1 setback was neither an unexpected nor unacceptable result for the Gunners.

Another runaway race tightened up in Germany, this weekend.  Bayern’s joy at handling the Manchester City Billionaire’s Club with such aplomb was tempered when they were held to a goalless draw by Hoffenheim.  However, the second and third place sides, Werder Bremen and Borussia Mönchengladbach failed to take advantage, both taking it on the chin.

The flat performances from the top clubs allowed two dangerous sides to make up ground.  Bayer Leverkusen, after two rough outings, bounced back to dump Wolfsburg 3-1.  The win kept them level on thirteen points with Hoffenheim, Stuttgart and Borussia Dortmund.

BvB romped to a 4-0 victory over still winless Augsburg, thanks to a Robert Lewandowski three-bagger.  Mario Götze added the fourth and Jürgen Klopp’s defending champions are back in the Bundesliga frame, six points off hitherto rampant Bayern’s pace but holding down a European spot on goal difference.

Like the Mancunians, Jupp Heyncke’s Bavarians may be about to learn that nothing is ever easy.

Ajax?  Nope.  PSV, Twente or Feyenoord?  Pffft!  Suddenly the dominant side in Dutch football is AZ Alkmaar, back from the brink of financial ruin to wreak havoc on the big boys.  Their 3-1 victory over VVV Venlo was powered by goals from Robert ‘Dutch’Elm, Adam Maher and Simon Poulsen.  

Meanwhile, Theo Janssen, Kolbein Sigthorsson and Siem de Jong were powerless to stop FC Groningen from claiming a 1-0 victory over the Eredivisie champions.  Feyenoord were handed a worse defeat, 3-0 at De Kuip against ADO Den Haag.  The Verhoeks, Wesley and John, as well as Tjaronn Chery, did the damage.  Darren Maatsen popped in a deuce for doormats Excelsior, leaving Luuk de Jong to steal a point for FC Twente in added time.  Only PSV Eindhoven matched AZ’s success; a 2-0 triumph over NEC Nijmegen at the Philips Stadion rocketing them into second place.

Frank de Boer’s struggling side, now in fourth, will have the first crack at breaking into AZ’s four point lead, when the two face off next Saturday at the Amsterdam ArenA.

If you thought Paris in springtime was pleasant, autumn is suddenly not too shabby, either.  Forget fashion, Roland Garros, and the Tour.  All one needs is a little Arab oil money and a few Serie A stars looking for new frontiers.  Thanks to Paris Saint-Germain, football is suddenly the trend across the City of Light.

For most of the first decade of the new millenium, Lyon was the standard-bearer in Ligue 1, but on Sunday, Les Parisiens reminded Les Gones who was from France’s first city and who from the second, cruising to a 2-0 win at the Parc des Princes.  Javier Pastore continued to return dividends on the Qatari Investment Authority’s €43 million roll of the dice, by scoring the opener just after the hour.  Then, Christophe Jallet killed off the match in added time, after coming on for Kevin Gameiro in the eighty-sixth minute.  PSG is now top of the table, with a three-point cushion on the three nearest clubs.

Montpellier‘s 2-2 Saturday draw at Bordeaux moved them ahead of Lyon and Toulouse, who lost badly at Sochaux, on goal difference.  Elsewhere, champions Lille continued to climb back into the race with a 2-0 victory over Stade Rennes at the Metropole, while Marseille slipped, held to a 1-1 draw in the Velodrome by Brest.

It’s not quite business as usual, yet, in La Liga.  Sure, Real Madrid are rolling again, after a 4-0 dismantling of Barcelona side Espanyol.  Not quite the real deal, but satisfying nonetheless, with Gonzalo Higuain picking up a hat trick on the road.  On the other hand, the real deal had their hands full with the club on the bottom rung of the ladder.  To be fair, Barcelona didn’t field their strongest eleven but were forced to rely upon Adriano’s twelfth minute goal, as host Sporting Gijon stubbornly held on to the match, hoping to find some chink in the champions armour.

However, the table still looks a little wonky, with Levante unbeaten in second place, possibly proving that self-hypnosis is effective, as they’ve apparently convinced themselves that they really are wearing Barcelona kits.  Malaga, the third tine in the Qatari trident which also includes PSG and Man City, is also changing the status quo, sitting in fourth, while the third unbeaten side in the La Primera Liga, Sevilla, lay sixth.

Give it time; it will all sort itself out.

The early campaign is as plain as black and white in Serie A.  The Bianconeri, not just Juventus, but Udinese, as well, top the table.  The Old Lady has scored two more goals but the Friuli have been exceptionally stingy, conceding just once in their opening five matches.  When you play that well defensively, it’s turns out to be Barcelona who miss Alexis Sánchez more.  Antonio di Natale seems unconcerned about who provides his service, having notched his fourth league goal and fifth in all competitions in a 2-0 victory over Bologna.  Likewise, Andrea Pirlo didn’t fret over putting the sword to his old side, Milan, forcing a big save out of Christian Abbiati as Juventus took a similar 2-0 decision, thanks to a Claudio Marchisio brace in the dying moments.

Despite the best efforts of Dagestan, the Russian Premier League has settled into its usual pattern:  the big city clubs at the top and the outlying sides chasing for scraps.  Prior to Anzhi Makhachkala‘s outrageous deal with Inter to acquire the services of Samuel Eto’o, the club was a cohesive unit capable of defeating anyone on any given day.  Since agreeing to pay the Cameroonian €350,000/week, the squad has come to rely almost exclusively upon him for goals.  He has produced regularly but it has become a case of as Samuel goes, so go Anzhi.  Of course, that’s a natural reaction when someone is paid such a disproportionate salary in comparison with his peers.

Regardless, Anzhi are well off the pace, twelve points behind Zenit St. Petersburg and five away from a European qualification, with CSKA, Dinamo, Lokomotiv and Spartak Moscow each claiming one of the remaining money slots.  For the big-spending outsiders, the balance sheet is beginning to turn an alarming shade of red.

After both Gamba Osaka and Kashiwa Reysol went down to defeat last week, the pair still managed to open a four and three-point gap, respectively, on the rest of the field, in the closing weeks of the J-League campaign — with a little help from lower standing sides.

Albirex Niigata moved away from the danger zone with a desperate performance, defeating fourth place Yokohama F Marinos 4-2.  Meanwhile, Shimizu S-Pulse consolidated their mid-table position by doubling up on third ranked Nagoya Grampus Eight, 2-1.

Neither Gamba nor Kashiwa were very stylish in returning to winning ways, grinding out 1-0 results against Urawa Diamonds and Kashima Antlers.  Kashiwa held on despite going down to ten men just before the break, when Park Dung-Hyuk was sent off for a second bookable offence shortly after Masatao Kudo had earned — shall we say plaudits? — for his game-winner on the half-hour.

What is wrong with Real Salt Lake?  The 2009 MLS Cup winners have dropped their last three in the midst of the stretch run; a period wherein they have become known for raising their game a notch.  The third defeat came at the hands of runaway league leaders LA Galaxy, with David Beckham – who has pointedly not cultivated that same reputation during his MLS tenure — playing a part in both goals.

After falling behind to Fab Espindola’s first half strike, the Galaxy rallied in front of the home crowd in the second frame.  Golden Balls fed Chad Barrett in the box as the hour mark approached, to level terms; a result visiting RSL would have been happy to accept and which they deserved until defender Nat Borchers knocked an errant ball into his own goal, from a Beckham set-piece on seventy-two minutes.

The former England captain then turned on the charm, noting that he “honestly enjoys the assists more than scoring.”  Aw, shucks.

On the other coast, or near enough, NY Red Bull continued to straddle the fence, settling for their sixteenth draw in thirty-one matches.  Thierry Henry salvaged the point with two minutes on the clock at Toronto FC’s BMO field, scoring his thirteenth goal of the season.  With three games remaining, Red Bull are clinging to the final play-off spot on goal-difference over expansion side Portland Timbers and two points over DC United, who are being led by erstwhile Red Bull Dwayne De Rosario‘s league leading fourteen goals.

No, a revival of Cats isn’t playing South of the Border.  But Pumas, Jaguares and Tigres are, in fact, topping the table two-thirds of the way through the Apertura mini-season.  All three are clawing to stay near the top, as well.

Pumas 1-0 victory over struggling América, on Saturday, lifted them top thanks to Jaguares Friday night 1-1 draw with Atlas, and Sunday’s like result against Tijuana’s Aztec Dogs for Tigres, the three opponents being the bottom squads in the top flight.  The tight competition in the Primera Division is further exemplified by the crowded play-off picture, with the clubs from third to thirteenth all within a single result of falling below or climbing above the cut line between the eighth and ninth rungs on the ladder.

In the battle of the week, in Brazil, Vasco de Gama clung desperately to first place as visiting Corinthians attempted to reclaim the top spot which they had held for most of the early doors in the National Championship.  Strangely, both Vasco goals came from defenders, with Dede’s header opening the scoring on the quarter-hour and Fagner’s first-half added time strike restoring the lead that Alex had cancelled out.  Danilo’s noggin-shot on sixty-six minutes split the points and kept the Paulistas two points adrift of the Rio giants.

On Saturday, Neymar‘s goal on the half-hour was wasted as Santos allowed Marcio Rosario to head home in added time for ten-man Fluminense.  The Copa Libertadores champions continue to struggle to get into the domestic race.

Boca Juniors consolidated their position at the top of the Primera Division de Argentina Apertura table with a 1-0 victory over surprising Tigre.  The fifth placed side might have split the points at La Bombonera had it not been for Diego Castaño’s own goal fourteen minutes into the match.  It was a hard-fought affair, with the official handing out eight cautions, split evenly between the sides.

Newly promoted Atletico Rafaella continued to lead the chasing pack, thanks to a 2-1 victory over Lanús.  Fabricio Fontanini and Federico Gonzalez scored less than five minutes apart, early in the second half, to overturn Mario Regueiro’s first half goal.  Regueiro was sent off shortly after Fontanini had leveled, and when Gonzalez put Rafaella in front, El Granate imploded, going down to nine men when Carlos Izquierdos was issued a second yellow.

The result will keep Juan Roman Riquelme and company on their toes, despite their comfortable margin, but Boca seem intent on making up some ground in the championship category, while rivals River languish in the second tier.

See you next Monday! 

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Stoke are not an easy team to beat when defending the Britannica, yet in their six previous Premier League matches against Manchester United, both home and away, they had failed to garner a single point.  That finally changed on Saturday.  With the rest of the day’s matches following form, much to the bookies’pleasure, the outcome is that United have come back to Earth, somewhat.

Despite their perfect record against Stoke and to date in 2010-11, United had to know that a painstaking effort would be required to once again put down the Potters.   With arguably their most physical player, Wayne Rooney, nursing an injury, it would only be more difficult.  Then Jonny Evans came up lame in the warmup, forcing Antonio Valencia to slot in at right back against a side which lives off wide play and crosses into the box.   Worse, Javier Hernandez suffered another knock, when clipped from behind by Jonathan Woodgate, he clattered into Stoke keeper Asimir Begovic.  Despite the forward laying crumpled in the box, the incident was deemed as no harm, no foul.   The Mexican, after failing to walk off the pain, was forced to leave for Michael Owen after just eleven minutes.

Still, it was United who struck first, through Nani.  The Portuguese, teaming with Darren Fletcher, worked his way through the box and drilled a shot past Begovic, just prior to the half-hour.  Thus, with Rooney in Manchester, Chicharito on the trainer’s table and Danny Welbeck on the bench, there was suddenly no cutting edge on the pitch for the visitors.  Owen and Dimitar Berbatov sent a handful of chances wide, allowing Stoke to hang onto hope.

At the other end, Stoke’s aerial attack was causing problems for United’s young keeper David de Gea.  While tall, the lack of muscle on the twenty year old’s frame made it difficult for him to impose his will on the Stoke attackers.  Peter Crouch and a supporting Jonathan Woodgate both missed golden chances.  When the Potters kept the ball on the carpet, however, De Gea made several impressive stops.

The writing was on the wall, though, and shortly after the restart, a corner found Crouch, who nodded the ball home.  Welbeck came on for United with twenty minutes remaining, as did Ryan Giggs, but neither could fashion a winner and the draw allowed Man City to pull level on points.

Roberto Mancini’s side remain behind on goal difference, though, as Everton proved resistant to the attacking verve of Sergio Kun Aguero and Edin Dzeko in the first hour of the match.  The pair, already boasting fourteen goals between them, were nonetheless sat down by Mancini, when they proved incapable of finding a way past the resilient Toffee’s defence and a near-impervious Tim Howard.  Still, their efforts had taxed the Everton rearguard to the point where their fresh and eager replacements, Mario Balotelli and James Milner were each able to find openings and finish.

Balotelli, who came on at the hour mark for Dzeko, was actually set up by the soon to depart Aguero, who dished off nicely, when he was closed down in the box.  Then, David Silva, who had been harried all day by Jack Rodwell, finally found a moment’s peace to thread a ball into the path of an onrushing Milner, whose goal killed off the match.  The contest mirrored the United/Stoke tilt, as well, in that City typically have more success snatching players from Everton, than they do goals.

There was a third unbeaten side, of the four remaining in the Premier League, in action on Saturday.  Toon held their place near the top of the table, with a 3-1 win over Blackburn, proving that the opposite of the adage ‘nice guys finish last’, also holds true.  Despite chairman Mike Ashley’s generally reviled status in the eyes of the Geordie Nation, his offloading of manager Chris Hughton and stars Andy Carroll, Kevin Nolan and Jose Enrique purely for profit, not to mention Joey Barton purely for noticing, the Magpies are somehow still grinding out results.

Against a Rovers side temporarily buoyed by their unexpected victory over shaky Arsenal, Demba Ba registered his first Premier League hat trick, scoring twice within three minutes of the half hour and then putting the match away after the break, cancelling a Junior Hoilett strike which had given Blackburn a lifeline.  Thus, in a season where both were expected to be safely in the mid-table, Newcastle are holding down the last Champions League berth and Rovers have dipped back into the relegation places.

Speaking of nice guys, Martinez, Owen Coyle and former Liverpool whipping boy Roy Hodgson managed just one point and one goal between them.  Hodgson’s West Brom got the point, in a bore draw with fellow strugglers Fulham.  Martinez’s Latics took the goal, courtesy of Mohamed Diame, but it wasn’t enough to stop Spurs from claiming all three points at the DW.  Bolton, meanwhile, without Gary Cahill, were unable to mimic Blackburn’s success against Arsenal, going down 3-0 at the Emirates, where Robin van Persie’s brace included his century mark for the Gunners.

Chelsea were in tune with their London rivals, knocking off Swansea 4-1.  Fernando Torres once again played good news/bad news with the Stamford Bridge faithful, scoring his second goal in as many games but drawing a red card for an overzealous tackle, later on.  This time, instead of missing the goal, he will be missing from the lineup as the Chelsea machine gets back into gear after stalling at Old Trafford.  If, upon returning, his form also goes missing again, neither manager André Villas-Boas nor owner Roman Abramovich will be too pleased.

The pair should both be happy with young Brazilian Ramires, however.  The midfielder, who provided the most of the creative spark in defeat, against United, did so again in victory, setting up Torres’opener.  Then, he proceeded to finish off two plays himself.  More good news came late, with the return of a clear-headed Didier Drogba, who potted the fourth Blues tally on the day.  Maybe Nando won’t be missed all that much.

Liverpool, long a Chelsea nemesis and recently a handy source for Iberian players, also returned to winning ways, with a 2-1 victory over Wolves at Anfield.  Charlie Adam continued to be involved in Reds goals, when his errant blast was unintentionally deflected in by Wolves skipper Roger Johnson.   Luis Suarez continued his rampant form, adding a necessary second seven minutes before half-time.  It was needed because Kenny Dalglish’s side, nervous after consecutive losses, developed a siege mentality in the second half, which allowed Steven Fletcher to halve the difference between the clubs.

With only Aston Villa protecting its unbeaten mark against QPR on Sunday and Sunderland’s Black Cats hunting Norwich City’s Canaries on Monday, still to be played, the Premier League table is virtually set heading into a Champions League week.  A winner from the Sunday match can replace Liverpool in fifth place, although Joey Barton and co. will need a three goal margin to do so.  Then, if Steve Bruce’s Mackems can overcome Norwich, they’ll have gone from the bottom rung to the top half in just over a fortnight.

It might not be as easy as all that, however.

]]> http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/09/24/the-sunday-morning-hangover-man-united-discover-that-nobodys-perfect/feed/ 0 Coming Up Crouchy resulteditor Coming Up Crouchy Hangover Howard To The Rescue Man Of The Century http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/09/19/the-monday-morning-drip-because-ade-is-light-on-his-feet/ http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/09/19/the-monday-morning-drip-because-ade-is-light-on-his-feet/#comments Mon, 19 Sep 2011 03:50:03 +0000 Martin Palazzotto http://worldfootballcolumns.com/?p=21784 Continue reading »]]> _______________________________________________________________________

The Monday Morning Drip grinds up the footy fare from the weekend into a blend of the choicest bits from leagues all over the world.  It’s also a weekly opportunity to appeal to footy bloggers out there, who are looking for a new forum in which to display their wares.  So, if you enjoy blogging, want to reach new readers and are available to cover your favourite league or team, then just click Write For WFC!  

Meanwhile, open your laptop wide and say Ahhh.

Here’s this week’s Drip…

Unlike last week, this Premier League Sunday was hardly an afterthought.  Instead, it rose up and smacked fans of Liverpool and Manchester City right between the eyes.  Then it delivered a blow to the mid-section of an unsuspecting Stoke City, and, for good measure, kicked Chelsea in the butt.

Spurs hammered Liverpool 4-0, while Kenny Dalglish fumed and referee Mike Jones did his best to keep a straight face as he sent off both Charlie Adam and Martin Skrtel, who will be having nightmares about Gareth Bale for weeks to come.  Dalglish at least has learnt to keep his remarks regarding officiating between himself and the men in black.  He had plenty to say to Jones in the tunnel at the half but absolutely nothing to the press after the match.  Meanwhile, Harry Redknapp was feeling like the Prince of the City, after Ex-Gunner Emmanuel Adebayor hit for a brace and Chelsea wannabe Luka Modric swallowed his pride and contributed the opener at White Hart Lane.

Stoke, who stole three points against the Reds, last week, learnt that there is no easy match in the Premier League, as Sunderland came off the bottom of the table to hit them up for another 4-0 shellacking.  The legendarily prolific trio of Titus Bramble, Craig Gardner and Sebastian Larsson were aided by an own goal from Jonathan Woodgate.  While Tony Pulis was tearing his hat to pieces in frustration, punters across the Northeast were doing the same with betting slips touting Steve Bruce to be the first manager sacked in 2010-11.

Manchester City failed to heed the lesson of the Blackburn/Arsenal match, wasting Sergio Kun Aguero‘s seventh and eighth goals for the club and letting struggling Fulham back into the match.  Goals from Bobby Zamora and captain Danny Murphy split the points and dropped the Billionaire’s Club further behind United’s Boys Club.

Fergie’s Fledglings made the most of their toughest test thus far.  Although Chelsea had their fair share of ascendancy, they did little with it.  Fernando Torres did score his second goal in six months for the club but then refused to increase his rate of production, circling a helpless David de Gea and sliding his shot wide of an unprotected goal.  Other than that, however, De Gea was the reason that United led 3-0 at the half, through Chris Smalling, Nani and Wayne Rooney, rather than trailing by the same score.  He had to rescue his teammates in the second half, as well, when Rooney pulled a John Terry, slipping as he struck a penalty kick which would have killed off the match.

The one worry to come out of the match, as United moved clear at the top of the table, was Ashley Cole’s nasty tackle on Javier Hernandez, who limped off under duress and may now become Tom Cleverley’s FIFA ’11 partner for the near future.

The question in Germany, this week, is has the country fallen in love with Ashton Kutcher and That ’70s Show in the same manner as they did with der Hasselhoff?  It seems as though they may have, with the table beginning to look much as it did in the Polyester Decade. Last year’s relegation survivors, Borussia Mönchengladbach, are suddenly flashing back to the days when they challenged Bayern for Bundesliga honours on a yearly basis.

Igor Camargo got his kick in minute sixty-six, to give M’gladbach a win over Hamburg and solidify their grip on third place, level on points but a goal behind Werder Bremen, whose application for three points was denied at the EasyCredit Stadion, leaving them with a 1-1 draw with hosts Nurnberg.  Both Bayer Leverkusen and Borussia Dortmund continued their inconsistent starts, suffering defeats, 4-1 at home to Cologne and 2-1 away to Hannover, respectively.  Lukas Podolski picked up a double for Cologne.  Hoffenheim and Stuttgart also stayed near the top, with wins over Wolfsburg and Freiburg.  Hoffenheim’s 3-1 cruise over Felix Magath’s side, has the embattled boss considering petitioning the league to play Schalke every week.

The Royal Blues, who took it on the chin to their former manager, last week, were kicked by Bayern while they were down.  The league leaders opened some space on the chasing pack with a 2-0 victory in Gelsenkirchen.  Manuel Neuer had all the time in the world to count the ‘Judas’signs sported by Schalke fans, as his new mates didn’t let his former ones anywhere near the goal.

If you’ve read David Winner’s Brilliant Orange, you know that Total Football was born out of the Dutch knack for coping with a lack of space.  No surprise then, that the Eredivisie table is gridlocked after week six.  Four clubs are grouped within a point of each other at the top, and the season is just getting warmed up.  

The key match was at the Philips Stadion, where PSV pushed Ajax to the limit but failed to close ground.  Neither did they give any away, so, on the whole, they won’t be complaining too much.  The 2-2 draw saw the Eindhoven side on the front foot for most of the match, with Tim Matavz’s second minute strike and Giorgio Wijnaldum’s penalty just before the hour eventually pegged back, in turn, by Kolburnn Sigthorsson’s leveller before the half-time whistle and Dmitry Bulykin’s point-splitter on seventy-nine minutes.

FC Twente and AZ Alkmaar each took advantage of the stalemate, moving into the top two slots, on fifteen points.  AZ had to work hard to get by new boys RKC 2-1, but Twente reclaimed the league lead with a resounding 5-2 win over ADO Den Haag.  Luuk de Jong was on the board twice in the Enschede romp.  Feyenoord‘s 4-0 pasting of de Graafschap, put them fourth.  Ironically, the Rotterdam giants, along with Ajax, are the only two unbeaten sides in the Eredivisie but are both looking up at the Champions League places.  Don’t you just love the early doors?

Elsewhere, disciplinarian John van den Brom may have finally driven the message home to his young charges at Vitesse.  After back-to-back 4-0 embarrassments, the Arnhem club drilled five past Roda JC, who had no answer.

Okay, here it comes:  my first official Evian pun.  I’m sure it’s been said elsewhere and more than once, but PSG, will tell you that whatever the newly promoted club have, they ought to bottle it.  The club is stubbornly hanging onto a place in the top half of the table, this week jumping out to an early two goal lead against the well-heeled Parisiens.  Javier Pastore paid off another installment in his €43 million price tag, by pegging a goal back, appropriately in the forty-third minute.  It was left to Mathieu Bodmer, who had come on with a quarter-hour remaining, to salvage a point for the Qatari-backed club.  It took him six minutes, but the job was done and PSG remain within shouting distance of the leaders.

That is no longer Montpellier, however.  The unlikely table topper could only manage a 2-2 draw at Brest, allowing Lyon to move top, after a battle of Olympian proportions with Marseille, won 2-0 at the Stade Gerland on goals from Bafetimbi Gomis and Michel Bastos.  The defeat won’t sit well with Didier Deschamps, who, less than two years removed from a championship is parked at the bottom of the table.

Were you beginning to think that Barcelona was mortal and that Real Madrid finally had the answer to the Catalans’mastery?  Foolish human.  The Blaugrana got their feet under them in the third week of the Primera Liga campaign and dropped an eight spot on a ridiculously optimistic Osasuna.  Lionel Messi had a hat trick, David Villa a double, with Cesc Fabregas and Xavi also helping out.  Osasuna defender Roversio apparently thought the second letter in his name was an ‘e’, rather than an ‘o’, as he put the remaining tally into his own net.

Conversely, Real Madrid were reduced to ten men and fell to Levante 1-0, after Sami Khedira was sent off in the first half and Arouna Kone scored the only goal of the match in the sixty-eighth minute.  Given that the start of the season was delayed a week, and Levante’s kit is remarkably similar to Barça, I suppose it’s possible Los Blancos thought they were playing a much tougher match.

Meanwhile, there are two teams with perfect records but strange shirts at the top of the table.  Real Betis went into San Mames and, impressively, came away with a 3-2 win over Athletic Bilbao.  Likewise, Valencia won away at Sporting Gijon, albeit by a more subdued 1-0 score.

Although it’s only two matches into the Serie A season, and the table has yet to settle, there is a hint that the scoring race, at least, will be a repeat of last year’s heated competition.  Udinese and Napoli are two of the four teams with two victories in as many tries, and they are being led by their talismans, Antonio di Natale and Edinson Cavani.

Cavani hit a treble as the Neapolitans did away with Scudetto holders AC Milan.  Alberto Aquilani’s first goal for the Rossoneri went for nought, once the uruguayan cranked up his game.  For his part, Di Natale has now scored in both of his club’s 2-0 victories.  Even without Alexis Sanchez to feed him the ball, the veteran appears intent on keeping his golden boot for a third Serie A consecutive year.

Competition continues to be fierce in the Russian Premier League.  CSKA Moscow‘s 1-1 draw away to FK Rostov, languishing near the drop zone, was costly for the capital giants.  Zenit St. Petersburg refused to let up, themselves, away to the much tougher Rubin Kazan, and outlasted the recent champs 3-2, with Roman Shirokov’s opener and Danny’s brace providing maximum points.

Dinamo also took advantage of their neighbours recent slide.  After toppling CSKA 4-0, a week ago, Dinamo made Amkar Perm’their third victim on the trot, with former Liverpool benchwarmer again sparking the victory.

Zenit now have a clear lead in the table, but Dinamo lay two back and CSKA three.  The weather may be cooling on the Steppes, but the race in the RPL is definitely heating up.

Last week, I wrote that Kashiwa Reysol have their groove back.  This week, they emphasised that fact in a major way, knocking off Vitesse Kobe, 4-0, to leapfrog Yokohama F Marinos and close to within a point of Gamba Osaka.

Rafinha continued his good run for the current leaders, as Gamba drew with Marinos, affording Reysol the opportunity to edge within reach of the top.  With eight matches left in the campaign, the J-League race is providing fans, who have been through a tragic 2011, a pleasant diversion from their daily travails.  Unfortunately, however, tragedy is refusing to take any time off in the Land of the Rising Sun.  Former Shimizu S-Pulse keeper Masanori Sanada, just forty-three, passed away from a heart attack early in the week.  He is the second Japanese footballer to be stricken by a coronary siezure this year, following defender Naoki Matsuda, who died in August.

With half a dozen matches left on the schedule, New York Red Bull have begun to be something other than indifferent about the MLS season.  A hard fought 1-0 victory on the road, against Western power FC Dallas has lifted the Red Bull, who have drawn half their matches, back into the play-off picture.  Former Notts County bad boy Luke Rodgers, making his first start after mising ten weeks with an injured heel, provided the only goal of the match.

Another side lagging behind their usual pace, Real Salt Lake, also notched a big win by halting the progress of Sporting KC.  Nat Borchers potted the lone strike, as RSL stayed ten points behind LA Galaxy, with two games in hand.

The thing about a split season is that a sudden run of form, good or bad, can quickly change a club’s fortunes.  Take Jaguares, for instance.  They were one of the worst teams in the recently completed Clausura, and when the Apertura opened, they didn’t seem much better.  However, a string of three victories, including an electric 5-3 triumph, on Saturday, against the suddenly hapless America.  Edgar Andrade‘s brace cancelled out Daniel Montenegro‘s and Christian Valdez’s tally did the same to Christian Benitez.  That left the two late goals, one in each half, from Franco Arizala and Jackson Martinez, respectlively to claw out the victory.

Puebla‘s stunning 4-1 victory away at the Estadio OmniLife against Chivas knocked the Goats from the top of the hill, with Cruz Azul also leapfrogging the Guadalajara side, after a road win of their own, 2-1 over Monterrey.  Tigres reversal to Atlante leaves them one point behind the three pacesetters.

Corinthians have slipped into a dangerous funk, dropping their last two matches and three of their last five.  Sunday’s hammering at the hands of Paulista rivals Santos, who won the match 3-1 despite Paolo Henrique Ganso seeing red, has cost them their place atop the National Championship table.  In fact, it has dropped them all the way to third, with the slide seeming more severe for the performances of the two clubs which overtook them.

Both Vasco de Gama and Sao Paolo recorded comprehensive 4-0 victories over Gremio and Ceara, respectively.  The two clubs each featured four different goal scorers, but it was pleasing to see old warhorse Rivaldo on the score sheet for the Paulistas.  Vasco now sit top, ahead of Sao Paolo by a single point.

Boca Juniors managed to stay a step ahead of giant killers Atletico Rafaella for a second week, with a 2-1 victory over Lanus.  Defender Juan Insurralde made the match closer than it was with an own goal just after the restart, but Walter Erviti’s strike, after the hour, restored the lead.

The Genovese will be looking nervously over their shoulder to see what Rafaella are up to next.  The upstarts took the lead with twenty minutes remaining against San Lorenzo, only to endure a mad frenzy at the end of the match.  Sebastian Gonzalez leveled a minute from time and then, in added time, Federico Gonzalez put Rafaella back in front.  Moments later, Nicolas Castro put the game to bed from the spot, after Bernardo Romeo saw red for the hosts.

With both clubs winning on the road and putting some distance between themselves and the pack, Argentina may be in for an unusual two-horse race in this year’s Apertura.  Circle Sunday October 30th on your calendar.  That’s when these two meet, at La Bombonera, perhaps to decide the title race once and for all.

See you next Monday! 

The Monday Morning Drip grinds up the footy fare from the weekend into a blend of the choicest bits from leagues all over the world.  It’s also a weekly opportunity to appeal to footy bloggers out there, who are looking for a new forum in which to display their wares.  So, if you enjoy blogging, want to reach new readers and are available to cover your favourite league or team, then just click Write For WFC!  

Meanwhile, open your laptop wide and say Ahhh.

Here’s this week’s Drip…

If your Sunday Morning Hangover extended all the way through the train ride to work this morning, don’t worry, Premier League fans.  You didn’t miss much.  Less, in fact, than James Vaughn, who was caught looking the wrong way by Gabriel Tamas’elbow in Norwich’s 0-1 loss to West Brom.  Safe to say that the nasty blow, which naturally went unseen by the official, left Vaughn gaping at the pretty yellow canaries flying about his head in full song.  Unfortunately, it also left him with a gash that may require plastic surgery.  Oh well, can’t let the WAGs have all the fun, can we?

Nor will Vaughn have run into Tom Cleverley, as the United starlet received the comparatively good news that his foot injury, courtesy of Bolton captain Kevin Davies was ligament damage rather than a bone break.  As such, he’ll only miss three-four weeks, instead of the dreaded three-four months.

West Brom’s result, coupled with Fulham and Blackburn’s one-goal draw, meanwhile, had little effect on the table beyond pulling scoreless Swansea into the drop zone.

To wrap up the week’s matches, QPR will hand Joey Barton his Technicolor debut tonight, after several years of pulling on the black and white shirt at Newcastle.  Of course, he might still be at the head of the Toon Army if matters behind the scenes were as plain as the kit.  With Asamoah Gyan fleeing the Northeast as well, for the cash happy UAE, one has to wonder what the problem is on Wear and Tyneside?  Maybe it’s all the French players coming in.

The NFL season kicked off this weekend, so confused fans may be wondering who the quarterback is at Bayern Munich.  The Rekordmeister won by a touchdown over SC Freiburg on Saturday, with Mario Gomez hitting four in the 7-0 rout.  The Bundesliga giants have a record comparable to Man United, with twelve points and a plus fifteen goal difference.  However, they have conceded just the one goal, heading into their Champions League clash with Villareal at El Madrigal on Wednesday, whereas the Mancunians have permitted three.  Parity, it would seem, is out the window, this year, in the two leagues most famous for it.

Behind Bayern, Mainz’s fine early start was cut off abruptly by Hoffenheim, who overran the Coface Arena for a stunning 0-4 reversal.  Immediately after the match, Twitter suffered a nearly overwhelming rush themselves, as it was Ryan Babel‘s brace which killed off the match.  Elsewhere, Vfb Stuttgart cruised to a 3-0 home win over Hannover 96 at the Mercedes-Benz Arena and Werder Bremen consolidated their recently resumed place as official Bayern chasers, with Claudio Pizzaro taking two bites out of Hamburg.  Eat now, groan later.

It wasn’t as luxurious a ride at the Volkswagen arena, but after Raul put Schalke ahead before the quarter-hour, Mario Mandzukic took the wheel and delivered a double for Wolfsburg, driving home a little satisfaction for coach Felix Magath in a grudge match against his high-flying former side.

Roda JC delivered the upset of the week in Round 5 of the Eredivisie campaign.  The Kerkrade side upended the erstwhile table toppers 2-1.  Marc Janko’s thirty-fifth minute goal started Twente on the right foot but Ruud Vormer replied for Roda, just a minute later.  Then Mitchell Donald converted a cross just after the break.

The result tumbled the Enschede side all the way to third, as AZ Alkmaar continued to impress with a 4-0 first half romp over Vitesse.  Pontus Vernbloom had two before the half-hour and the match was killed off when Rasmus Elm converted a penalty just prior to the break.  With Wilfred Bony then being sent off with twenty minutes remaining, John van den Brom will not be happy with his club’s performance.

AZ hold an edge in goal difference over Twente but still trail champion Ajax by a point, as the Amsterdammers outwrestled Heracles on the strength of Siem de Jong‘s two goals.  Unlike Bayern, it looks to be a rough road ahead for Ajax, seeking to retain their title.

PSV failed to keep pace with the leaders, escaping with a 3-3 draw away to VVV Venlo, but Feyenoord, after consecutive draws of their own, moved ahead of the Eindhoven side, into fourth, with a solid 3-1 triumph over NAC Breda.

The money machine is starting to run smoothly at the Parc des Princes.  Five minutes after the hour, PSG gained a slight edge in the match, when Diego Lugano’s caution put the Parisiens in the book three times compared to just two for visiting Brest.  Three minutes after that, a little known player in Antoine Kombouare’s side, Argentine Javier Pastore, made good with fellow Serie A product, Jeremy Menez’s pass to score the only goal of the match.

The win was a positive step but probably didn’t seem so, with Lille, Lyon and Montpellier ahead of them, and Toulouse and Stade Rennes on their heels all collecting three points, themselves.

The one squad missing from the equation, Didier Deschamps’Marseille, suffered their second consecutive loss, after opening the competition with three draws.  Their setback before the international break, in the battle of the last two champions carried over to Sunday, when Rennes, so good defensively until the end of last season, returned to their former stingy form, stealing a 1-0 victory at the Velodrome.  With PSG beginning to flex their financial muscle, this might not be the season to get off to a sluggish start.

Well, La Primera Liga is off to another typical start.  Real Betis and Valencia are keeping pace with Real Madrid, Barcelona is struggling along in fourth place and Villareal are hovering just above the drop zone.

Pardon?  What do you mean that’s not typical, at all? How do you expect Barcelona to hold down the top spot if they concede two goals to Real Sociedad, on the road or not?  The Catalans began Saturday in style, with Cesc Fabregas, Alexis Sánchez and Xavi combining on a tenth minute goal so pretty that they tried it again a moment later.  Sociedad were a bit wiser on the redux, but couldn’t prevent the former Gunner from applying the coup de grâce.   From there, it all went wrong.  Sánchez was carted off at the half hour and the home side scored two goals within sixty seconds, themselves, on the hour.  Pep Guardiola, who had hoped to rest Lionel Messi and Andres Iniesta, threw them into the fray to no avail, as Sociedad hung on for a memorable point.

While Barça were taking Arsenal lessons from Cesc — dropping points needlessly — Jose Mourinho‘s Real Madrid were grinding out another of his patented 4-2 snoozers against a lightweight side.  Capital rivals Getafe gave Los Blancos a match, with Miku leveling Karim Benzema‘s opener, then pegging one back after Cristiano Ronaldo converted from the spot and Benzema contributed a second.  Then, Mourinho proved his tactical superiority over Guardiola by inserting Gonzalo Higuain with three minutes remaining and coolly examining his fingernails as the Argentine ran down the field and finished off the match.

In Serie A, powerhouses AC Milan and Lazio cranked up the star power in Friday’s opening match at San Siro.  The 2-2 draw saw Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Antonio Cassano reply to the questions asked by Miroslav Klose and Djibril ‘It’s Tuesday So It Must Be Orange’Cisse.  Napoli then took over the show, on Saturday, knocking off Cesena, with Marek Hamsik and Ezequiel Lavezzi on the sheet.

But, it was Inter who struggled at the outset of their season.  Giampiero Gasperini may  love his options in attack but its madness to expect to come away from a shootout in Sicily with fewer holes in your scoresheet than the home side.  Fabricio Miccoli and Abel Hernandez had offset Diego Milito‘s brace in the first hour, before both sides dug in until a last furious exchange in the final five minutes.  Miccoli then connected for his second and Mauricio Ferreira Pinilla made Diego Forlan’s goal in added time cosmetic.

In Roma, new boss Luis Enrique started disgruntled captain Francesco Totti but the result was still negative.  Visiting Cagliari came away with a 2-1 victory made easier by Jose Angel’s devilish behaviour drawing a red card.

Thus it was Juventus, who stole the Sunday limelight, using an attack by committee to overwhelm Parma, although Antonio di Natale led Udinese to victory, as well, with some help from Dusan Basta, who must really love to hear opponents mutter his name after he bulges the twine.

The top of the Russian Premier League table became much more crowded over the weekend.  Joint leaders Zenit St. Petersburg and CSKA went down hard against Lokomotiv and Dinamo Moscow, respectively.  Dinamo’s comprehensive 0-4 victory at the Luzhniki Stadium was accomplished with significant help from players imported from points west.  Liverpool afterthought Andriy Voronin began the rout and Kevin Kuranyi and Brazilian Leandro also took a hand.   Lokomotiv adopted a similar strategy with Victor Obinna, Felipe Caicedo and Manuel da Costa, with two, leading the underdogs to a 4-2 triumph over Luciano Spaletti’s side.

Anzhi Makhachkala took advantage of the double team to move within six points of the leaders, and, yes, Samuel Eto’o got things started in the Dagestani club’s victory over stragglers Volga Novgorod.  With all the Western capitalist influence permeating the league, Lenin must be spinning in his tomb.

Kashiwa Reysol have their groove back.  After a prolonged hiccup which saw them slide well down the table from their perch atop the J-League, the club is finding its stride again.  Matched against defending champion Nagoya Grampus Eight, Kashiwa fell behind when Leandro had to take treatment on the sidelines after colliding with Marcus Tulio Tanaka.  Yet Kashiwa had a Tanaka up their sleeves, as well, with Janya leveling for the former league leaders.  Finally, Masakatsu Sawa capitalised on a moment of Grampus confusion to put his team ahead in the match and, with the final whistle,  in the standings, assuming the third position which the holders had been occupying.

The two squads in front of them aren’t making a recovery easy, however.  Leaders Gamba Osaka made short work of Omiya Ardija and Yokohama F Marinos squeezed past relegation bound Avispa Fukuoka.

Sporting KC continued their improbable run to the top of the Eastern Conference table, with a 3-0 victory over Houston Dynamo.  Teal Bunbury‘s brace did most of the damage, with CJ Sapong finishing off the scoring.  After struggling out of the gate, with ten consecutive away matches, as the finishing touches on their new LiveStrong Stadium, SKC have made the wait worthwhile, as they enjoy a healthy eight goal difference over Columbus Crew, although the Ohioans do have a game in hand.

Elsewhere, Juan Agudelo rescued ten man New York, at Red Bull Arena, leveling on sixty-nine minutes after Jan Gunnar Solli had been sent off just before the half.  The draw, Red Bull’s fifteenth in twenty-seven matches wasn’t enough to keep them on the playoff bubble, as Charlie Davies ended his summer slump in style, with a hat trick against Chivas USA that lifted the inaugural league champions, DC United into the post-season picture.

Humberto Suazo’s tenth minute strike had Monterrey in front away to Puebla, on Sunday.  Unfortunately, the Rayados didn’t find a second goal and the home side woke up in the final half hour.  Isaac Romo and Roberto Juarez both hit doubles for La Franja, which would have been more impressive and earned maximum points had one of Juarez’s tallies not been into his own net.  The gaffe allowed Luis Perez to save Monterrey’s blushes with an added time spot kick.  The dropped points were accompanied by a slide to fifth place for the defending Apertura champion.

Elsewhere, Monarcas got their floundering Apertura campaign into calmer waters with a 0-1 upset at Cruz Azul and Tigres‘ 5-0 thumping of hapless Pachuca moved them within a point of leaders Chivas, who drew away at Santos Laguna.  Hector Mancilla doubled his goal total in the competition with a treble in the rout of Pachuca, with the best defensive side in the just concluded Clausura suddenly an offensive juggernaut.

Flamengo did not have a good week.  In their Thursday match against table topper Corinthians, the Paulista side’s young prodigy, Liedson outdueled the Rio sensation Deivid, 2-1.  They followed that up with an identical scoreline against Athletico Paranaense.  This time Welington had the lone goal, with Heracles and Guerron doing the damage for the lower half club.  The upshot, to be oxymoronic, is that Flamengo have dropped down to fifth after nipping at the leader’s heels since early doors.

Okay, it’s only round six of the Argentine Apertura, but I just can’t get enough of Atletico Rafaella.  The side who knocked River Plate out of the top flight have actually made that a notable accomplishment, rather than an act of spite, by hovering near the top of the table since their Primera Division adventure began.  A scoreless draw against Newell’s Old Boys on Friday allowed Boca Juniors to slip past them into the top spot, by defeating another promoted side, San Martin de San Juan.  It’s somehow fitting that Rafaella take the deposed River’s place as Boca’s nearest rival, isn’t it?

If you’re a cynic and only want to hear about goals, well, Godoy Cruz will be more to your liking.  They romped to a 6-1 victory over All Boys, on Saturday, helped along by Ruben Ramirez‘s double.  For all that, they’re still four points off the pace set by Boca, in seventh.  So there.  One-nil or six-one, it’s always going to be three points.

See you next Monday! 

Tribal.

That is the name of the moment for fans who fervently support one club to the exclusion of all others.  The term is obviously derived from the savageries of hooliganism, for which reason I despise it.

Like a malignant cancer, violence occasionally returns to put the game in remission, as it did when three Liverpool fans were stabbed ahead of that club’s Europa League match at Napoli, last season, or during the full-on pitch invasion after the derby between Aston Villa and Birmingham on the eve of England’s failed bid for the 2018 World Cup. Yet, the beating of a San Francisco Giants fan after their Opening Day baseball game at rival Los Angeles Dodgers’Chavez Ravine ballpark, which left him with severe brain damage, shows that the phenomenon is not restricted to football, while the recent UK riots prove that it is a human condition, rather than a sporting one.

In any case, most tribalists are not the violent sort.  They’ll take the piss with fans of other clubs — else what’s the point? — but, happily, they can receive as well as they give.  They simply love their club exclusively and are proud of it.  Which is why I’d rather there was another term for them which didn’t evoke the few miscreants who can’t control their emotions.

As, thanks to the technologies of satellite, cable and internet, so-called tribalists are no longer alone, it occurs to me that we should categorise the many species of fans which have evolved in the Information Age.

Obviously, as the forerunners, the loyalists should be named first.  Despite the ability to click a remote or mouse and view a match in Manchester, or, if that turns out to be a snorefest, one in Madrid, Munich, Marseille, or even a city that doesn’t begin with the letter M, supportus monogamous, as I prefer to call the tribalist, will loyally and devotedly keep the channel tuned to his side, and, when the match is over, trawl through the chat rooms for talk about his club and his club only.

Yet, the ease of travel and communications has allowed an offshoot of supportus monogamous, designated supportus nomadum.  These estranged fans have sadly had to leave their old hunting ground, whether it be to pursue a career, romance or merely satisfy their wanderlust.  However far they journey, though, their hearts have remained behind, with their beloved club.

Then there are those who feel the call of far-off places but choose to stay at home.  Like long distance lovers, supportus remotus follow a club on the other side of the country, continent or even halfway around the world, rather than — or as well as — the one in their own backyard.

Remotus is one step removed from those creatures of opportunity, supportus philanderae, fond of traveling on band wagons.  These gypsy vagabonds are often outcasts, reviled by their more loyal cousins, as they will give their attention to several clubs at once, often moving on to new loves when the going gets rough in their current tryst.

Unfortunately, some relationships, no matter how much one tries, become unsupportable.  Thus, there is also supportus nomorus, whose unhappy circumstances and irreconcilable differences have forced him/her to severe ties with their childhood club and seek a new relationship.

Now, you may take this exercise in sporting anthropology as tongue in cheek, but there is something to it.  At WFC, we typically have six to ten writers contributing to the site at any given time and, coming from different backgrounds and circumstances, we each support our club(s) in different fashions.

I’ll let everyone tell their own story, though…

Martin Palazzotto (supportus philanderae):  So, as usual, I’m sitting at my favourite table in my favourite Wi-Fi hotspot, back to the wall so that the world can’t sneak up on me while I watch it pass by.  I like it here.  There are two or three other regulars who frequently join me at the table, make a bit of pleasant conversation, and then head off in their own direction on the information superhighway, while I continue along mine.  We can sit for hours in relative peace, each doing our own thing, with little or no desire to interrupt the other.  Sometimes, I wish my online friends were of a similar bent.

The other day, for instance, Dale O’Donnell, who is in charge of StrettyNews.com and occasionally pens something for WFC, popped up on Facebook out of the blue.  His red and black panties were in a bunch because a well known blogger from a ubiquitous LFC fan site had been complaining about him to a mutual acquaintance.  The argument had started months before when, as OD saw it, the Liverpool blogger had denigrated Hillsborough and Munich by equating them with Heysel.  When OD took exception, the Scouse locked him out of the chat room.

Now, for my ‘benefit’, he was recalling the entire episode, live in Technicolor, as though it had happened moments before.   Through the sheer misfortune of leaving my Facebook status on ‘available’, I had become his surrogate rant receptacle.  Supposing myself to have common sense, I tried to defuse his rambling by suggesting that arguing over whether so many deaths were any more or less tragic due to the circumstances was probably — oh, I don’t know — childish?  Unfortunately, this tack only earned me a complete review of the entire story, in even greater detail, complete with remonstrations as to why such remarks cannot be allowed to stand and a colourful opinion of the type of person who will take the piss and then hide behind the skirts of technology so that you can’t insult them back.

Still, as much as I like to grouse about being interrupted, I was more bemused than put out by the extended bitch session.  Afterwards, I still couldn’t understand why an ill-considered remark from someone he normally wouldn’t offer the time of day had OD so worked up.

That’s because, unlike OD, I have football commitment issues.   Actually, you could probably shorten that sentence by one word and just leave it at commitment issues.  I love the game as a whole but I just don’t get attached to one club to the extent that I take slights against it personally.  Live and let live, I say.  If I can’t see eye to eye with someone… well it’s a big world.

From my earliest memory, I’ve been moving.  I have attended nine schools, lived in several cities and countries, been divorced and am embarking on my third career.  This table may be my current roost but I’ve never been able to go the whole nine yards and put down roots.

I haven’t even always been a footy fan, rather beginning with hockey, progressing to baseball and finally discovering proper football, through the Cosmos.  Had that glorious side (and the NASL), with Beckenbauer, Chinaglia and Bogicevic survived, who knows?  I might have found something to hold onto much earlier in life, but that isn’t how it turned out.

I’ve no complaints.  I’m quite happy appreciating good football in all shapes, sizes and kit colours.  My wandering eye has given me the ability to see commonalities in disparate things and through that gain understanding of relationships.  Unfortunately, because of my worldview, it’s not likely that I will ever settle on a single league or find any one club to be beyond compare.  OD is exactly the opposite and he’ll tell you straight out.

Dale O’Donnell (supportus monogamous):  Why am I so committed to one club?  I don’t think I could answer that question without mentioning my family, who did a proper job teaching me the rights and wrongs of life throughout my youth.  One of those wrongs was supporting anyone but Man United.

But  since it’s United and I’m a Mick, not a Manc, plenty of people might mistake me for a glory hunter.  They need to understand, though, that just watching an Irish club play is painful enough, let alone support one (but fair play to those that do).   It’s not my fault that I wasn’t born in Manchester or that I’m too young and United too good for me to have lived through the lean times.

If I were a glory hunter, I wouldn’t spend all my spare time putting out Stretty News, every bit of spare cash on yearly pilgrimages across the Irish Sea to Old Trafford, or have read every book on the club’s tumultuous history which I could find.  Nor would I have spent my childhood kicking a ball instead of knocking it around with a stick, pretending I was Keane-O or Cantona rather than Nicky English.

If I had been around, I’d have gone to games in the Second Division after our own king, Denis Law, scored for City to send us down.  Further back, I wouldn’t have looked for another club in 1959.  I’d have been there through all the years it took Busby to bring us back.  I’ve been lucky but I don’t take it for granted.

I’ve only had to suffer a star player who we all thought was red through and through say the club was shite to get more money, to see the greatest footballer at United in my time be accused of sleeping with his sister-in-law, and to worry that our American owners were selling us down the river into debt.  I may not like any of it but it’s my club and I’ll live with it and love them, anyway.  You can believe it or not, but if United were sent down this year, I’d still be on the ferry to watch them play Burnley or Doncaster instead of Chelsea, Liverpool, City and Arsenal.

I simply don’t understand how anyone can wake up one morning and change clubs – put your hand down, Andy Walsh – because things aren’t going as well as they’d like.  The name for it these days is tribal.  Some people confuse passion with savagery and every club has a few animals who give the rest a bad name.  Last season, a few City fans mocked us shortly after the Beeb aired a documentary – it was more of a melodrama, really – on Munich.  Martin’ll tell you I don’t go in for those sort of jibes, I don’t care if it was us, Hillsborough or Heysel, it’s crap.

Like I said, there may be a few animals but most of us have time for other supporters, and it doesn’t matter if they’re from Merseyside or Crawley Town.

Geoff Edwards (supportus nomadum):  Ha!  Is that my cue?

It may be changing a bit these days but Crawley wasn’t a serious football town when I was a kid.  There wasn’t much of a pull to support the local side, Crawley Town, even for a five-year-old falling in love with the game.  The nearest major clubs were Brighton and Crystal Palace but, at that age, those places were just as far away as Liverpool.

My family had emigrated up from Southampton and were almost all Saints supporters.  Now that I’m grown, I’ve developed a soft spot for them, and a healthy hatred of Pompey.  Yet , unlike Dale, I was left to my own devices in childhood and ended up developing an affinity for Everton.  My reasons were appropriately simple and childlike:  they were pretty good at the time and my idol, Gary Lineker, played for them.

Despite all that, I still feel as though I am a ‘true’Evertonian. I love the history and tradition of the club. I love Goodison Park, the club crest and motto, Z-Cars, the royal blue and white, the past legends. I genuinely believe there is something special about Everton. I do think that I would have an even deeper understanding of what the club’s about if I grew up in Walton and went every week but that’s life, isn’t it?  You take what you’re given.

In the ’90s, I went to every game I could when the Toffees came to London. I tried to get to Goodison as much as I could too. I remember the first time I went.   I begged my Dad to drive me and a friend up there for a birthday present. It was a boxing day game on a Monday night, freezing cold, and we lost 2-0 to Sheffield Wednesday in one of the worst games I have ever witnessed, and during that era, we were involved in a fair few stinkers. I still enjoyed it, although my Dad and said friend have yet to forgive me.

I stopped going so frequently late in the decade. It was starting to get expensive and I was a student. Like most of my brothers in books, alcohol seemed a sounder investment for my limited funds, although I can easily imagine myself going more often when/if I move back to the UK, now that I have more of an income and less of a thirst.

I’ve been in Germany since 2007 and, as you’d expect, most of my friends were surprised to find a Londoner supporting a Merseyside club.  Still, they were impressed that I hadn’t adopted one of the usual suspects.  It’s difficult to fit Everton and glory hunter into the same sentence, isn’t it?  There was one exception, a guy who just started laughing when I told him I was a Toffees fan.  He’s into Bremen, though, so, for a while there, the joke was on him.

Eintracht Frankfurt is definitely my German team, and I look out for the results of other ‘local’teams like Mainz and Hoffenheim, but there’s no real attachment. Frankfurt’s relegation didn’t cost me any sleep, for example. I guess I only have room for Everton.

Happily, it’s fairly easy to track them from Darmstadt. Irish pubs are always a blessing for expat English footy fans. Sky Germany also shows EPL matches, and when those two fail, you can always find a stream online. It’s only the actual going to games that is harder but, as mentioned, I haven’t done that much in the last 10 years, anyway.

Gareth McKnight (supportus remotus):  If you think it’s difficult keeping up with Everton while living in Germany, you should come down to Broome!  One of my first footballing memories is Spurs’FA Cup success in 1991, with a 3-1 win over Arsenal in the semis and victory over Nottingham Forest in the final. I remember Gazza scoring a belter of a free kick in the semi and being amazed; I have been a Spurs fan ever since.

What, then, am I doing on the West Coast of Australia?  I have never lived in London, but chose Oz over the UK as I wanted to experience another culture and see a bit of the world.  As it turned out, I liked what I saw.

However, being so far from the action does have its disadvantages.  The time difference is a major hindrance to following football in general, never mind Spurs.   As a writer, it is especially difficult to keep up with breaking news.

As well, the general populace of Western Australia are avid Aussie Rules fans, so, at best, there is a thin lattice-work of footy fans with whom one can strike up a conversation.  Even so, I have always gotten some abuse for being a Spurs fan, as my fellow exiles are generally Arsenal or Man United supporters.  That is focused around the fact that their clubs have been more successful in recent times. Now that Tottenham are in with more of a shout, the abuse has subsided slightly, thankfully.

FoxTel carries most Premier League and Champions League matches and I try to see as many as possible.  Otherwise, I can usually catch matches online.  Would I come back to make it all a bit easier?  Well, if you throw in season tickets to White Hart Lane, I might be tempted, but, shocking as it may be, there is more to life than football, and Oz has a lot to offer.

Tom Pollock (a tragic mix of supportus remotus & supportus nomadus):  You don’t have to emigrate to Australia to support football from afar.  I was born there, growing up just outside Melbourne, from where I began supporting Liverpool as a ten year old.  On a family trip to England, we toured Anfield and I was hooked.  Prior to that, all I knew of football was David Beckham and United.  This was back in 2002, around the time he kicked the wonder goal against Greece to send England to the World Cup.

Despite that, I didn’t consider myself a United fan; I simply enjoyed watching and playing the game. While in the UK, I began to take interest in Michael Owen — ironic that, these days, isn’t it?  After visiting Anfield and seeing all the trophies in the museum, I began to tell people I was a Liverpool fan and have since fallen in love with the club.

At first, friends generally didn’t understand my passion for Liverpool because football isn’t the main sport in Australia. Aussie Rules is dominant, particularly in Victoria, where I live. Therefore I would get many raised eyebrows when I complained that I was exhausted because I had crawled out of bed at 4am to watch the Reds.

Of course, the A-League has begun to catch on at home, and I’ve begun following Melbourne Victory, along with the Reds.  The groundswell of interest in Australia has led to my discovering other dedicated football fans there, both locally and through my blog.  It’s been great to be able to talk about Liverpool with people who are equally as passionate about them.

Still, once I finished high school, it was time for a pilgrimage to Anfield to see it all again; this time with from an adult perspective.  Making it back as a full-fledged Liverpool fan was a great experience. As a ten year old, I really didn’t get a lot out of the visit and had very few memories of the tour and museum. As an eighteen year old, I was able to appreciate sitting in The Kop and viewing the League and European cups. All these experiences will stick with me for the rest of my life.

Of course, having come to the UK, I’ve discovered that there’s no escaping the homo remotus in me.  Now, that I’ve temporarily settled in Edinburgh, Liverpool is close by but it’s incredibly difficult to keep up with Melbourne Victory and the rest of the A-league!

Andrew Gibney (supportus nomorus):  Other than Glasgow, I’m not sure where my story begins or even where it goes, but, recently, I had a bit of an awakening over where my support truly lay. After agonising over such things as loyalty and tradition, moving on from a bad situation is probably the best decision I’ve ever made.

For as far back as I can remember, my first memories of football always included Celtic. I can still picture my Dad buying me my first full track suit, and me running straight outside to show it off.

My Dad took me to games quite often, and, in high school, I went to a few with friends. I will also remember Jorge Cadete’s debut against Aberdeen, when Celtic won 5-0. I think I even started the fans chanting Pierre van Hooijdonk when he scored the fifth (I think!). Then, in 1997, as an excitable sixteen year old, I got my first season ticket.  Weeks later Henrik Larsson joined from Feyenoord.

What followed was seven excellent years, four league titles, two Scottish Cups, three League Cups and then the brilliant run, in 2003, to the UEFA Cup final in Seville.

When I look back, the signs were already there; I just didn’t see them. Although I was a Celtic fan, I had always found interest in other teams. Valencia were the first “foreign” team that caught my attention. Gaizeka Mendieta, Claudio Lopez, Kily Gonzalez. They were a great team and I was lucky enough to watch them live in a UEFA Cup match at Celtic Park.

Spanish, Italian, French, German it didn’t matter what league it was, the chances were good that I’d watch it. That’s the sort of personality I have; if I like something, I need to know everything about it. Thus began the obsession with European football.  Sadly, it also developed through playing a certain football computer game made by the good people of Konami.

In 2004, I moved three hundred miles down the motorway to Leeds, for University purposes. At first it was fine, I found a Celtic supporters pub called Maguire’s and spent many a weekend there, drinking and ‘enjoying’the fellow Celtic fans company. Actually, it was bearable at best.  It was great to watch Celtic play with other fans, but weeks and weeks of narrow-minded comments wore on me.  I think I came home stupider than when I left and that wasn’t the alcohol.

Soon enough, I discovered a small French side known as Lille, after a friend’s parent brought a scarf back from a holiday in France. A two goal display from Peter Odemwingie against Bordeaux caught my attention and I suddenly had a “second team”. I found myself watching more of Lille and a little less of Celtic. Even when Gordon Strachan came and won three league titles I was busy watching Lille finishing mid-table in France.

So, we fast forward to last season. My blogging days were in full swing, writing an SPL column for the excellent WFC, Champions League pieces on Rangers for STV and a column all about Celtic for ESPN Soccernet. Things were going really well….or were they? I found myself writing more and more about French football and forcing myself to watch SPL highlights just to fulfill obligations.  At least, WFC gave me a place to vent my frustrations with the state of the Scottish game.

Still, being a Celtic fan and writing about Rangers should be difficult, but being a fan of football it was easy to write objectively.  As well, still hoping for the best for Scottish football, I felt bound to root for Rangers to win in the Champions League. I still wanted them to get humped in the league, mind, but, in European competition, they needed to win.

Naturally, this didn’t go down well with the Celtic fans over at ESPN Soccernet.  The abuse really kicked in when I questioned the signing of a new midfielder and then voiced my ennui regarding the seven Old Firm games packed into the season. I was called all sorts, even a Rangers fan — and that’s the nice way to put it.

The problem was that the antagonistic attitude of Scottish fans, the out of hand drink culture and the denial of the severity of the issue seemed to me hopeless.  You can tell people they need to change until you’re blue in the face, but if they can’t see it themselves, you’re only dragging yourself down into the mire.

Around this time Lille were going for the Ligue 1 title and, in February, I finally got the chance to visit the Stade Lille Metropole and watch what was quickly becoming my first team. Lille, as a city, was fantastic and I fell in love with everything about the place and the team. I don’t think I’ve felt that way about football since Chris Sutton scored that volley against Juventus in the Champions League.

It was coming apparent that my love of football wasn’t being returned in the East End of Glasgow, where minds were closed and hunting season on anyone with an original thought was open.  Neglected at home, I had been seduced by a saucy French mistress. It was in the middle of January that I watched my last full Celtic match but I can safely say that apart from the two weeks I spent in Jamaica getting married, I haven’t missed a Lille game.

The old saying goes “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family…” and to a certain extent you can relate it to football. it wasn’t my choice to be a Celtic fan.  Like Dale, my Dad is, my Uncle is — in fact, most of my family used to live a stone’s throw away from the ground, but now that I am much older, and possibly wiser, I have made my own decision.

I’m Scottish, not French, I don’t speak the language and I am still learning about the history of the club. Yet, when Ludovic Obraniak fired in a ninetieth minute free-kick which won Lille their first trophy in fifty-six years,  I couldn’t have been happier. It wasn’t glory-hunting, as Celtic were still, and likely always will be vying for trophies in the SPL.  It was just the freedom to love one thing without being required to hate another.  Standing in the Tribune Nord, in Lille’s makeshift stadium, somehow I knew it was where I was meant to be.

So, what species of fan are you?

You can find:

Dale O’Donnell on Twitter @DaleOD and read his take on all things Man United at Stretty News.

Andrew Gibney on Twitter @GibFootballShow and read his Guardian rated blog the Gib Football Show and newest effort, French Football Weekly.

Tom Pollock on Twitter @Tom_Pollock and ranting in the Southern Terrace.

Gareth McKnight at Ninety Minutes Online 

Martin Palazzotto also contributes to the slightly offbeat mix of fiction, poetry and football journalism known as Man And Ball Digital Magazine.

Geoff Edwards is taking a break from blogging to discover what the real world has to offer.

The Monday Morning Drip is a new column at WFC, grinding up the footy fare from the weekend into a blend of the choicest bits from leagues all over the world.  It’s also a weekly opportunity to appeal to footy bloggers out there, who are looking for a new forum in which to display their wares.  So, if you enjoy blogging, want to reach new readers and are available to cover your favourite league or team, then just click Write For WFC!  Meanwhile, open your laptop wide and say Ahhh.  Here’s this week’s Drip…

Best league in the world?  More competitive than La Liga?  More physical than the Bundesliga?  More ruthless than Serie A?  More French than Ligue 1?  The early Premier League season is not living up to that reputation.

After three weeks, the English top flight has been distilled down to a Mancunian blend of Blue and Red.  Roberto Mancini has the team he wants: Samir Nasri and David Silva pulling the strings, Edin Dzeko, Sergio Kun Aguero and (soon) Carlos Tevez finishing off the plays; Yaya Toure and Nigel de Jong finishing off any resistance and a back line marshaled by England number one Joe Hart minding the store.  Who stands a chance against the best side money can buy?

Sir Alex Ferguson’s Fledgling v.2, that’s who.  Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic may be injured; Edwin van der Sar, Gary Neville and Paul Scholes retired; John O’Shea and Wes Brown sold to Sunderland; Ryan Giggs suddenly too slow to avoid the paparazzi and Dimitar Berbatov unhappily taking lessons in obsolescence from Michael Owen, but there’s a crop of youngsters surrounding Patrice Evra, Wayne Rooney, Nani and Anderson (?) who just reacted to City pounding Tottenham 5-1 at White Hart Lane by annihilating Arsenal 8-2.

The good news?  The Gunners scored their first two goals of the season and looked pretty decent offensively.  The fact that they had eight players missing from midfield and defence meant any points from this match were unlikely, but 8-2?  Holy shit is all that comes to mind.

The bad news?  United and City have a perfect record and a goal difference that matches or betters their point total, making Chelsea and Liverpool look like Toronto FC and River Plate (they’re relegated, don’t you know?).  Arsenal, meanwhile, are already seven points and eighteen goals behind.  But never fear, Arsene Wenger isn’t quitting!

Can you say Papiss Demba Cisse?  Wolfsburg players were repeating his name throughout their Sunday encounter, becoming so focused on the four-goal man that they allowed Oliver Barth, Erik Jendrisek and Cedric Makiadi to run up three goals against them.

Felix Magath’s second tenure at the Volkswagen Arena is not working out quite the same as the first, with a good deal of that down to the fact that Edin Dzeko is otherwise occupied — on Sunday he was busy knocking four goals into the Tottenham goal, in London.

If the stern tactician doesn’t right the ship quickly, he’ll be heading out of town.  A return to Schalke is out of the question, too.  Never mind that the Bundesliga isn’t a fancy version of Pong,  where a manager can bounce back and forth between clubs — that’s Serie A — Ralf Rangnick has the Gelsenkirchen side level on points with table topper Bayern Munich, thanks to an hour mark goal from the man who said no to Blackburn, Raul, which gave the Königsblauen a 1-0 victory over another fast starting squad, Borussia Mönchengladbach.

Bayern held on to first place thanks to a hat trick from Mario Gomez, which included a penalty miss, in a three-goal win over Kaiserslautern.  After the match, third time the charm coach Jupp Heynckes held forth that the Rekordmeister “would only get better.”  He’s obviously been dipping into the same sauce as Fergie and Mancini.

Gomez’Saturday romp was overshadowed, though, by the collective efforts of Hamburg and Köln, with the visitors winning a 4-3 shootout.  Lukas Podolski came on at the half to break the 1-1 deadlock, setting up Milivoje Novakovic less than five minutes after the restart.  Hamburg jumped back out in front, scoring on either side of the hour, only for Köln to rise up in the final ten minutes, stealing all the points on goals from Christian Clemens and Kevin McKenna.

Either Heerenveen have gotten their act together or Feyenoord aren’t quite back to the level of Ajax and Twente.  After Ron Jans’side dropped consecutive 5-1 decisions to the top pair, they escaped De Kuip with a 2-2 draw against Ronald Koeman’s young charges.  Bas Dost and Oussama Assaidi had the goals for the erstwhile bottom feeders.

Meanwhile, the yellow and black were put on their back both in Amsterdam and Enschede, as Ajax maintained pace with Twente, each running out 4-1 winners against Vitesse and VVV Venlo respectively.

PSV woke up, at last, after sleeping through their opening rounds.  A 6-1 mauling of new cellar dwellers Excelsior announced the Eindhoven club’s arrival in the title chase.  AZ Alkmaar are also still in the hunt, after a 3-0 victory over FC Groningen.

The madness may be coming to an end in France.  Seriously, Montpellier and Toulouse leading the pack?  It’s like Gordon Brown and George Bush in charge of Great Britain and the US; only bad things can happen.

Lyon took care of first place Montpellier, with a 2-1 victory on Saturday, bringing La Paillade back to the pack.  Miralem ‘No Need To’Pjanic and Jeremy ‘Murdoch Got’Pied put Les Gones in the driver’s seat, although Henri Bedimo pegged one back in added time, suggesting that the early league leaders still have some fight in them.

On Sunday, new money PSG toured the baronies, informing previously unbeaten Toulouse that it was time to take their name literally.  Kevin Gameiro had pegged back Etienne Capoue’s first half goal with a fifty-third minute tally, and the clubs seemed destined to split the points, only for Mevlut Erding and Jeremy Menez to both strike in time added on.  That’s the type of result that €100 million or so will buy you.

Apparently, Zaragoza is Spanish for ‘Madrid will kick our ass’.  Real took advantage of the fact that Barcelona were otherwise occupied in Monaco, knocking off Porto in the UEFA Super Cup, with Lionel Messi and Cesc Fabregas on the scoresheet, to open up a healthy lead in the table.  Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat trick but that was only half the story, as Marcelo, Xabi Alonso and Kaka also joined in the fun.

Five other sides also won in the opening matches, after a one-week wildcat strike over unpaid wages postponed the original opening week of the competition.  All of those results were of the one-goal variety, however, lending credence to the new theory that La Liga is just a poor imitation of the Premier League:  a two team competition without any tackling.

Speaking of poor imitations, Serie A players elected to strike, themselves, this week, over Lega Calcio’s attempt to force transfers upon players in the final year of their contracts and to ban them from training with the first team when they prefer to seek pastures new.

Of course, Samuel Eto’o wasn’t feeling any solidarity with his Italian brethren, as he negotiated a tidy arrangement for himself with Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala.  When you’re making €335,000 per week, the rest of your comrades can eat tiramisu.

Anzhi were muddling through a scoreless draw with FK Rostov on Saturday, when coach Ghadzi Ghadziev summoned Eto’o from his pitch side jacuzzi, on the hour mark.  While the Cameroonian was still towelling off, Timofey Kalachev put the hosts ahead.  Eto’o found his stride, though, and equalised with ten minutes remaining.  That’s one week’s pay in the bank.  Imagine what he might have done if Anzhi were paying him a cool half mil.

On Sunday, Zenit St. Petersburg blasted five goals past an impotent Kuban Krasnodar squad to put some distance between themselves and CSKA, who survived a heated 2-2 Moscow derby with Spartak.  Alexander Kerzhakov joined the weekend hat trick club, powering the rout, with Roman Shirokov and Danny also smoking the Kubans.

Dinamo’s 2-0 home victory over Spartak Nalchik kept them in the title chase, as well, six points off the pace.

Two weeks ago I ended the J-League section of the Drip by asking selfish European players to take note of the tireless efforts of Keisuke Honda and Shinji Kagawa, who played matches for their European clubs on either side of a midweek commute to Sapporo for an international friendly against South Korea.  I’m not sure what to think about the possibility that Freddie Ljungberg was the only player who took heed.

The ex-Gunner, Seattle Sounder, Chicago Fire and Celtic winger will be plying his trade with mid-table side Shimizu S-Pulse.

“I am so excited about playing in Japan.  I was inspired by the way the Japanese people dealt with the tragedy of March 11 earthquake and I really want to show support for them by playing football in Japan and for S-Pulse in particular.”

The diabetically sugar-coated statement, while par for the course in the game, and especially in the endlessly courteous Land of the Rising Sun, likely has Sounders’fans choking on their Starbucks double latte ventes, given the Swede’s me-first attitude while in America.  It’s pleasant to think of how soon he’ll be heading back to the west if he tries that in Japan.

Meanwhile, season long leaders Kashiwa Reysol slipped to fourth after dropping a 2-0 decision to new table topper Gamba Osaka, in mid-week.  Champion Nagoya Grampus Eight are a point off the pace after picking up two wins during the week, as the J-League crams the matches in after a delayed start to the season caused by the tragic events in March.  Lundberg’s unsuspecting new teammates, S-Pulse, maintained their mid-table status by picking up a pair of draws.

Has Hell frozen over?  Major League Soccer wrapped up matches on Saturday, this weekend, permitting those players on international duty to get a jump on their European counterparts, as they jet out to link up with their national squads.  As well, the usually indifferent American league will only be playing two matches over the break.  Seriously, when did MLS start caring about international play?  I didn’t get the memo.

There were two matches of note over the weekend.  Jeff Cunningham converted a penalty as the hour approached in Seattle, making him the all-time MLS goal scorer, with one hundred and thirty-four tallies, surpassing Jaime Moreno.  Unfortunately, it was a bittersweet moment, as his Columbus Crew were already down four goals, at the time.  The final score was 6-2, and, yes, there was a hat trick, Lamar Neagle doing the honours.

In Kansas City, FC Dallas cooled off the hot Sporting KC, with a 3-2 road killing.  The home side was enjoying a two goal lead with twenty minutes remaining, when Ugo Ihemelu, Maicon Santos and Bobby Warshaw turned the match on its head.  As they have all season, the Hoops proved that losing a key player, such as the man who said yes to Blackburn, George John, is something they are prepared to handle.†

FCD and Sounders moved within range of the rampant but idle LA Galaxy with the wins.

†So, naturally, having written that, it is announced that Blackburn Rovers and John apparently cannot agree on terms, nixing the deal.  He’ll go back to an exciting FC Dallas club and Rovers will continue to lose.

Clausura champion UNAM Pumas continued their precipitous dip in form, with a 2-1 home defeat at the hands of crosstown rivals Cruz Azul.  Previously, the club had been stunned by mid-table Puebla and, in the CONCACAF Champions League, were held to a bore draw by Panamanians FC Tauro.  The slump sees Pumas in fifth place, still within the eight team playoff picture but hardly comfortable.

As Chivas also slipped to defeat at San Luis, on Saturday, the victory pushed Cruz Azul into the top spot in the league.  Monterrey corrected their own slide, with a 2-0 triumph over Santos, thanks to strikes from Luis Perez and bullet headed Chilean assassin Humberto Suarez.

In Brazil, there was a major upset, with Campeonato leaders Corinthians falling at Palmeiras, 2-1.  Emerson put the visitors up after eighteen minutes but Luan leveled ten minutes before the break and Fernandao put the hosts ahead just afterwards.

The damage wasn’t too severe, however, as closest rivals Flamengo, with Deivid and Ronaldhino both in the eleven, were held to a surprising goalless draw at home by Vasco de Gama.  Neymar, Ganso and their Santos teammates continued in their morass, falling in a Paulista derby, 0-1, to Sao Paolo.

River is dead, long live the new River!  Atletico Rafaella, the country bumpkins who consigned once mighty River Plate to the second division for the first time in their history, are now sitting atop the table in the Primera Division de Argentina. Leaving more pedigreed clubs, such as Boca Juniors, Racing Club and Velez Sarsfield in the blocks, the new boys have run off three victories in their first four matches to set the early pace.

The latest victim was a stunned Olimpo, who fell 3-1 on goals from Alexis Nicolas Castro, Dario Gaudin and Walter Omar Serrano.  Massive clubs with money to spare might have been the cream of this week’s Drip, but it’s a good feeling when the final sip at the bottom of the cup is just as sweet as the first, dregs or no.

See you next Monday! 

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Okay, let’s get one thing straight; I’m a Manchester United fan. I always have been and, at some level, I always will be. I have supported the Red Devils through thick and, well, thick, and I know everything there is to know about the squad, the stadium, the manager and the board. I am, however, growing disenchanted at the “promised land” that is the Premier League.

There are games on television every weekend, there are adverts for the games every hour of every day and, to be honest with you, it wears me down. Don’t get me wrong, I love football but even I think that Sky may have taken it a little too far. I mean, the prospect of Wigan Athletic vs West Bromwich Albion hardly excites me (no disrespect to those who support the aforementioned) but Sky Sports make it seem, with all of their promotional muscle, that it is going to be the best game of all time. It isn’t. Get over it.

Another thing that frustrates me about the “best league in the world” is the ludicrous ticket pricing. I mean, Manchester United, as a brand, make hundreds of millions of pounds every year and still charge a small fortune for tickets. The cheapest ticket at Old Trafford stands at £28. Reasonable, I suppose but you will be seated in the Gods and won’t be able to see much in all honesty. And for the best seats in the house, £50 a ticket, which, to the average fan is completely unreasonable. If a family of three are going to watch the game it is going to cost them £150, and that is before we take into account petrol, accomodation, food, drink, matchday program and souvenirs.

Never mind that the owners are in Tampa, Florida, the club itself has become so removed from their local support, that we don’t even matter anymore.  Wayne Rooney grew up playing football on the street and going to watch Everton at Goodison Park.  For most Mancunian kids, red or blue, that connection has been broken because their parents can’t afford to spend two or three hundred quid on an afternoon outing.  It’s great that Manchester United is the biggest club in the world, but shouldn’t they stay in touch with the fans who put them on that road, in the first place?  At least, Liverpool’s new owners have gotten that much right.

That is why I will soon be making a switch of my own. To the Blue Square Bet South and to my local team-Tonbridge Angels.

I will still watch United on the television when they play but I will be going, every other week, to the Longmead Stadium to watch the league’s relegation candidates. Some fans may find that baffling but I have good reason to make the change.

One of those reasons is appreciation. At the Angels last home game, (a 4-1 defeat against Sutton United) the 3000 seater stadium was playing host to 683 fans. Those 683 made so much noise that it seemed like the ground was at full capacity and, although the team lost, there was no booing, no derogatory chants, just clapping and the odd cry of “Oh well, we tried our best”.

There are no prima donnas at that level, no massive egos. That may be due to the fact that these semi-professionals aren’t on £100,000 a week and that the players realise how lucky they are to be playing in a team that is supported by a group of die-hard fans who love the club.

Samir Nasri and Carlos Tevez could learn a thing or two from this lot.

Of course, the standard in the Blue Square Bet South is nowhere near that of the Premier League but I, for one, don’t care about that. I just care about feeling involved in a football club, about feeling valued and appreciated, about feeling proud of the lads when they earn a hard-fought one goal win, and, most importantly, about being treated like a fan, not a customer.

And with season tickets priced at just £110, maybe this time next year I’ll be writing as a Tonbridge Angels fan.

Summer transfer madness is ever-so-slowly winding down, readers. I was browsing through some photos from Jose Enrique’s medical at Melwood, thinking “hooray, we finally signed him”, when I suddenly realised that not only was his chest perfectly waxed, but so were his eyebrows. I don’t even want to venture anywhere near the whole back-sack-crack issue, so let’s leave that line of thinking right there.

What’s striking is that Jose’s not alone in his metrosexual stance. If anything, he’s part of a trend that’s evolved since the 1970s. Before then, footballers were men’s men: beers before and after training, sweat for the ninety minutes of a match, have a communal bath… y’know, all lads together kind of thing.

Then came George Best: ridiculously good-looking (for a Man United player, anyway) notorious womaniser, prolific drinker and exhauster of not one but TWO livers. He became a celebrity in his own right, quite aside from his footballing prowess – and his looks played a massive part in that. Women loved him and wanted to be with him; men loved him and wanted to be like him.

Kevin Keegan didn’t succeed quite as well – the nasty perm and terrible leather jacket said it all, really – but we can look back now, point at the Seventies and say two things: (a) footballers were suddenly celebrities in the same sense that they are now; and (b) appearance and personal grooming, though ancillary, also became of central importance.

Fast forward to the 1990s. Liverpool’s ‘Spice Boys’ nonsense is a sorry episode that’s best forgotten in my view: bad suits and bad hair. Then comes poor unsuspecting David Beckham, in all his boy-next-door homely cuteness, hair that had never seen peroxide, eyebrows that had never been tampered with, arms that had never been exposed to the tattooist’s needle.

That didn’t last long.

Nowadays, David’s more of a brand than a celebrity or even a footballer – when was the last time he actually kicked a ball in a competitive match? Yet we see him everywhere, in all his super-groomed, uber-tattooed, immaculately-turned-out glory. Again, women want to be with him (though, admittedly, not this woman) while men want to be like him.

Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the over-styled, over-groomed metrosexuals currently in the Premiership and beyond: not only José Enrique, but also Fernando Torres (who changes his hair colour to suit his mood: dull brown = bolshy and rubbish), Cesc Fabregas (though he and his plucked eyebrows have just buggered off back to Barcelona, rather predictably), Ashley Cole (trashy), Cristiano Ronaldo (don’t get me started), and that’s even before we get into the vaguely comical world inhabited almost exclusively by Djibril Cisse…

The list probably isn’t that long, but I’ll bet the cumulative beautician’s bill is staggering.

So are footballers becoming big girls? Do celebrity status and a pop star WAG necessarily entail a conversion to major-league metrosexuality? George Best managed to be a celeb without shaving very much (if at all), let alone waxing his bits. And let’s face it, there’s grooming, then there’s GROOMING, and some of the names listed above fall into the latter category. They’re still outnumbered by the ‘men’s men’, but you can’t help but wonder just how long that will last.

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With certain London matches already postponed due to the current civil unrest, it’s difficult to get too excited about the opening weekend of the Premier League season.  It took draconian measures to restore order to football stadiums in England, over two decades ago.  One can only hope that the same isn’t required for British society, as a whole.

So, in the hopes that cooler heads prevail….

There has been a lot of talk that the big four has expanded to a big six, including Tottenham and a resurgent Liverpool along with current powerhouses Manchester City, United, Chelsea and Arsenal.  Yet, to my mind, there has been a contraction.  Only three clubs, from where I sit, can be considered bona fide title contenders.  Another trio have an outside shot and three or four more may even be in the frame for Europe.  That is certainly far more quality than you’ll find in any other league, but there is still one less team hovering around that large piece of silverware with the pretty ribbons.

Here’s who I think rates, who doesn’t and why.

Sure Shots

Manchester United come into the new season with Sir Alex Ferguson taking a page from Arsene Wenger’s book.  Despite the hew and cry for the club to spend extravagantly on a creative midfielder, the consensus choice being Inter’s Wesley Sneijder, the Scot has refused to go over the top.  Instead, like his French counterpart, he has focused on recruiting youth.

Phil Jones has come in to add depth to the defence, with he and Chris Smalling the eventual heirs to Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic.  Ferdinand will likely be rested frequently this season in an effort to extend his career, but Smalling has shown some ability on the outside, as well.  Ergo, in the meanwhile, he may provide some cover for Rafael and Patrice Evra, now that John O’Shea and Wes Brown have moved on.

Ashley Young has been signed from Aston Villa to give Fergie three options, along with Nani and Antonio Valencia, on the wings.  David de Gea is the man between the sticks, looking capable, if, at twenty-one, not as consistent as Edwin van der Sar.  Finally, Danny Welbeck is back from Sunderland, and has been impressive in the pre-season, making people forget Javier Hernandez, who is still recovering from concussion.

In the center of the pitch, the concerns over Scholes’absence may be unwarranted.  Tom Cleverley has stepped up his game this summer, suggesting that the club needn’t mortgage their future; it may have already arrived.

United may not be ready to topple Barcelona quite yet, but their current blend of experience and youth, across the board, indicates that the rest of Europe will still have to take a back seat.

Across town, Manchester City, have left themselves no outs.  Having spent — and spent again — to earn a Champions League berth and end a thirty-five year trophy drought with their FA Cup triumph in the spring, City went out and spent some more.  To be fair, splashing big on Sergio Kun Aguero was somewhat necessitated by captain Carlos Tevez’repeated insistence on leaving.  Yet, another FA (or League) Cup won’t do, this year.  Nor will a second consecutive Champions League qualification.  City’s spending and progress now demand that they win the league.

Can they do it, however?  Well, when your strike force includes Aguero, Mario Balotelli, Edin Dzeko and, for the moment, Tevez, it would seem a possibility.  When David Silva is pulling the strings and might still be joined by Samir Nasri, hope grows.  With Yaya Toure and Nigel De Jong outmuscling and disrupting opposing midfields, it becomes a serious possibility.  Finally, with a defensive core of international quality running eight deep, in front of England’s number one, it might be worth putting down a few bob, just in case.

What’s missing?  First, they haven’t done it yet and the first time is always the most difficult.  Second, they do have the enviable dilemma of being too deep at virtually every position.  Tevez is not the only unhappy camper in the crowded clubhouse.  When you look at the roster, there will be an entire side, week in and week out, not selected but arguably strong enough to challenge for the title.  That can create problems.  Nevertheless, they are the type of problems that Roberto Mancini — or any other manager — would love to have.

Chelsea‘s perceived needs, off-season strategies and signings have been remarkably similar to United’s.  Youngsters on loan (Daniel Sturridge, Gael Kakuta) have been recalled, others signed (Oriol Romeu, Romelu Lukaku) and the cries for a creative midfielder have gone unanswered due to excessive market valuations (and a stubborn Harry Redknapp).

On the other hand, their big hole in midfield was brought about by yet another injury to Michael Essien, while the blue shirted version of Scholes, Frank Lampard, isn’t ready to call it a day just yet.  Also, unlike United, the Blues new goalkeeper, Thibaut Courtois (who has ironically replaced De Gea at Atletico Madrid), will have to wait a bit before taking over for Old Leatherhead, Petr Cech.  Finally, their new manager, while already steeped in trophies, is a young maverick rather than a legend in his own time.

With Luca Modric barred from his much desired move from White Hart Lane to Stamford Bridge, André Villas-Boas has been denied the trequartista he craves.  Yet, with a fortnight of the transfer window remaining, Roman Abramovich may still put pen to cheque — but even if he doesn’t, Chelsea can get by with the personnel in place, including Lampard, young Brazilian Ramires and homegrown sensation Josh MacEachran.

However, width is a problem.  Where United have splendid service in abundance, through Antonio Valencia, Nani and Ashley Young, Chelsea must try to fit square pegs Yossi Benayoun, Florent Malouda, Sturridge and Kakuta, into round holes.  As well, their defence, with an aging John Terry and want-away Alex, is not nearly as deep as either of their Manchester rivals.

If everything goes well for Chelsea, they are more than capable of reclaiming the title they lost to United last year.  However, if more injuries occur, Chelsea will soon find themselves holding off the next group of clubs for the final automatic Champions League place.

Dark Horses

Welcome to what may very well be Arsene Wenger’s final season at Arsenal.  The Frenchman has held the course despite six years of trophy-less football.  Gunners supporters, spoilt by Wenger’s past triumphs, most notably the exploits of the Invincibles, are growing increasingly restless.  That they have shown greater restraint than the general populace is commendable but the depths of their tolerance have been fully drained.  Excuses and rationale are no longer acceptable.  Now is the time to win.

Yet, it is now that Wenger has finally let Cesc Fabregas go to Barcelona and before he can shut the door again, Samir Nasri may dash off as well.  An already youthful side just became younger and now leaderless.    Wenger would like Thomas Vermaelen and Robin van Persie to step into that void, but neither has yet been able to remain healthy for a full season.

With the heart ripped out of the club, the manager would likely already be gone, despite his past record, were it not for the presence of Jack Wilshere.  The young Englishman has moved into the starting eleven for England, where Fabio Capello has touted him as a future captain.  He may soon be taking on that responsibility at the Emirates.  As well, Johan Djourou is a year older at the back, as is Kieran Gibbs.  Theo Walcott should be ready for an expanded role and Gervinho has come over from Lille to provide further width.  Welshman Aaron Ramsey is also healthy again, giving the club a veritable wealth of British first-teamers, for them, at three.

The two keys to the season will be whether or not Wenger can persuade Nasri to stay and if Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain can contribute immediately, reinforcing Wenger’s buy young and nurture policy.  Still, it’s difficult to see the Gunners doing more than challenging Chelsea for third, especially considering the early pressure of qualifying for the Champions League, with a difficult tie upcoming against Udinese.

Should he lose that match, the pressure on Wenger may become irresistible but the effort required to win may also take its toll in the stretch run of the season.

Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs have a big advantage over the four clubs above them in my pecking order:  they don’t have to compete in Europe this season.  Of course, by insisting upon keeping Luka Modric, who is very keen on some evening football in the midweek, Harry Redknapp may have erased that advantage completely.

The outspoken gaffer has taken a stand in order to prevent a mass exodus, refusing to sell the Croat, but how will that hard line affect the chemistry in the clubhouse?  Harry’s amazing ability to juggle four International strikers has ended — inevitably — with a loud clatter.  All four are falling about, crying to be let go.  Peter Crouch has a suitor in Stoke, although, as with Modric (if on a smaller scale), money is an obstacle.  Robbie Keane, on the other hand, has less takers than Gordon Brown at a charity bachelor auction.  Roman Pavyluchenko and Jermaine Defoe, meanwhile, are too intrinsic to Harry’s plans for him to even consider offers.

Every position is well stocked; with Niko Kranjcar, Rafael van der Vaart, Jermaine Jenas, Wilson Palacios, Tom Huddlestone, Danny Rose and the pleasantly surprising Sandro complementing Modric in the centre of the pitch; Aaron Lennon, Gareth Bale, Steven Pienaar and David Bentley man the wings;  the brittle Ledley King is supported by Michael Dawson, William Gallas, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Sebastien Bassong, Alan Hutton, Younes Kaboul, Vedran Corluka and Kyle Walker at the back; and Brad Friedel has arrived from Aston Villa should the butterfingered Huerelho Gomes slip again.

If the personable Redknapp can hold them all together, Spurs could be back in the Champions League in 2012.  The problem is that every time his best player picks up a paper or goes online, he sees a picture of the gaffer giving him the finger.

You know it’s a tough league when Liverpool, who have been more prolifically busy in the transfer window, in terms of both quality and quantity, than any other side, don’t rate better than the position they finished in last season:  sixth.  You would think that all that activity would have made them a much better squad and I believe it has.  The problem is that there is a massive gap between being the best of the rest, as they ultimately were last year, and a bona fide title contender.  

With the midfield completely revamped, it’s not even much of a concern that Steven Gerrard won’t be available until at least October.  Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam and Stewart Downing have all arrived to give Kenny Dalglish a selection migraine in the middle of the pitch, with the likes of Lucas Leiva, Alberto Aquilani, Dirk Kuyt, Raul Mereiles and Jay Spearing also in the mix.  Up front, as with everywhere else on the squad, there are any number of options, all centered around Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez, with Kuyt, Maxi Rodriguez and a healthy Gerrard also considerations.

The defence has been considerably strengthened by the recent addition of Newcastle left back Jose Enrique, allowing Glen Johnson to focus on the right side of the pitch and Martin Kelly to perhaps get some experience at centre back, spelling Jamie Carragher and Martin Skrtel.  Even in goal, where Pepe Reina is permanently installed, the club picked up some quality insurance in the form of erstwhile Roma keeper Doni.

Were it not for the time required to settle and become familiar with each other’s tendencies, I might put Liverpool a rung or two above their current position.  Certainly, if it comes together quickly, the Reds have the horses to race past Tottenham and Arsenal and draw neck and neck with old foes Chelsea.  If not, the Kop will just have to settle for a place in the Europa League.

Don’t Look Now, But…

If the pre-season ran until December and then the games which count finally began, Everton might be two-time defending Premier League champions under David Moyes.  Like jarheads at a Parris Island boot camp, the Toffees start off each season by digging a massive hole for themselves.

Yet, Moyes has quality at every position.  This season, there will be no African Cup of Nations or Asian Champions League to take players away.  There is Arsenal, however, doing their best to pry loose Phil Jagielka, as Man City did Joleon Lescott once upon a time, but Phil Neville still has it and Leighton Baines is only unlucky enough to be stuck behind Ashley Cole as the best English left back.  Seamus Coleman’s injury is another of those bad August omens for Moyes, however.

Ultimately, though, a midfield boasting one-time England hopeful Mikel Arteta, Marouane Fellaini and Jack Rodwell gives Everton the opportunity to take points everytime they take the pitch.  Imagine what this club could do if they got off to just an average start!

Bolton have three things holding them back:  a lack of funding to go out and sign a proven talent; a subsequent lack of depth; and a seemingly annual horror tackle which deprives them of American midfield prodigy Stuart Holden.   On the other hand, they have the coaching talents of Owen Coyle, which are sufficiently prodigious to cancel out two of the negatives.

The Scot’s motivational powers are unrivaled; it would almost be a crime to the rest of the Prem if he were put in charge of a club like City, United or Chelsea.  Still, Gary Cahill, Paul Robinson, Zat Knight, Martin Petrov, Nigel Reo-Coker and netminder Jussi Jaaskelainen are not a bad supporting cast for Holden.  Unfortunately, Korean Chung Yong-Lee’s own nightmare injury, at the end of July, was not the pre-season memory which Coyle wanted his side to take into the campaign.

If the club can stay relatively healthy, especially Holden (who currently is not), and the Scot can lay his hands on a goal scorer to replace Daniel Sturridge, the Wanderers will again be in the hunt for a Europa League slot.  Still, even if they do and Coyle can, the Trotters aren’t likely to bag their prize without some investment.

When compared with the Premier League elite, Fulham is a small club.  As such, they’d be hard pressed to find a better chairman than Mohamed al Fayed.  The former Harrod’s owner has provided the money to modernise and preserve the club’s longstanding home, Craven Cottage; he hires capable managers; buys them players when truly needed; and pays to keep them.  Despite Roy Hodgson leaving for Liverpool and Mark Hughes for pie in the sky, al Fayed has persevered.

Martin Jol is now the man in charge and the Egyptian has provided him with some new blood.  John Arne Riise has arrived from Rome to join his brother Bjorn Helge, providing the club with a dangerous threat from the left back position.  The club has a solid one-two punch in Bobby Zamora and Clint Dempsey; midfield reliability in Danny Murphy, Riise the younger, Damien Duff and Steve Sidwell; defensive stability in Aaron Hughes, Brede Hangeland, Carlos Salcido and, now, Riise the senior; and a world class goalkeeper in Mark Schwarzer, with a burgeoning international David Stockdale on loan to Ipswich, to give him playing time while the Aussie number one plays out the string.

Already a month into their Europa League campaign, their lack of depth will be challenged by involvement in four competitions, but make no mistake, this is a solid side.

Long ball specialists.  Cheap shot artists.  Ale house footballers.  Those are the labels Stoke City still live with, despite reaching the FA Cup final after giving Owen Coyle and Bolton a taste of their own silky smooth medicine.  Tony Pulis has patiently built on the solid defence, slowly adding more and more flair, as the base solidifies.

Kenwyne Jones, Jon Walters and Ricardo Fuller provide the goals.  Matthew Etherington has left the punting behind and is now almost a sure thing on the left.   Jermaine Pennant, as long as he is provided with valet service, will bring some imagination to the midfield, to complement the long throws of Rory Delap.  That unique advantage may be further augmented, if the Potters can come to terms with Tottenham regarding beanpole striker Peter Crouch.

Captain Ryan Shawcross, Matthew Upson and suddenly opportunistic goalscorer Robert Huth patrol the back.  Pulis is hoping that Jonathan Woodgate’s drawn out injury spell is finally done, so that he can provide further support for his two capable keepers, Asmir Begovic and Thomas Sorensen.

Look for the Potters to push a little further up the Premier League table, squeaking into the top ten in 2011-12.

Engines Idling

Sunderland picked up Wes Brown and John O’Shea from Man United to add some depth to the midfield and defence, as well as a bit of a winning culture.  So, why am I pegging Sunderland to slip back into the bottom half of the table in the new campaign?

Two reasons.

One, inexperience (Conor Wickham), chronic injury (Frazier Campbell) and character issues (Stéphane Sessègnon) in attack.  Asamoah Gyan was a great signing for the Mackems last year, but he can’t do it alone.

Two.  Steve Bruce is just too nice, especially when Man United fixtures roll around.  If some of predecessor and fellow United alumnus Roy Keane’s irascibility would rub off, other clubs might think twice when the Black Cats cross their path.  Until then, however….

One can, coincidentally, say two things about Sunderland rivals Newcastle as well.  Owner Mike Ashley certainly knows how to turn a profit and the club has replaced Arsenal as the favoured English destination for French footballers.

The impending sale of disaffected left back Jose Enrique to Liverpool recoups the investment in the latest Gallic window dressing at St. James Park, United cast-off Gabriel Obertan.  That makes seven French players on Alan Pardew’s roster, including Paris born Senegalese star Demba Ba, but not fluent francophone Cheick Tiote of the Ivory Coast.

Yet, while croissants may have been added to the player’s table at Newcastle’s Darsley Park training complex, the stream of quality players departing is not so easily addressed.  Enrique has tweeted his way out of the club but Joey Barton hasn’t been so lucky — not for lack of effort.  On the other hand, when your captain, coming off the best season of his young career (Kevin Nolan is still only twenty-nine) agrees to join a relegated club, it indicates there are problems behind the scenes.

Unfortunately for the Toon Army, Mike Ashley is in this for the long haul.  He and Derek Llambias have become adept at identifying young talent, improving upon it and selling at a surplus.  The club, barring a rash of injuries, has a competent coach and sufficient talent to hover in the middle of the table, staying up, but robbing their support of any and all hope for a bit of glory.

Modest.  In one word, that is West Brom manager Roy Hodgson.  Modesty can often be misinterpreted as lack of ambition, which is one reason he failed at Liverpool.  The Reds are a club that have a tradition of carrying the game to people.  Hodgson succeeds by taking the opposite approach.  It worked well at Fulham and it rescued the Baggies, who under Roberto di Matteo, were playing a style with which the Kop could identify.

WBA Chairman Jeremy Peace made the conscious decision to change the club’s style, which under Di Matteo and Tony Mowbray had seen them bouncing up and down between the Prem and the Championship.  Hodgson’s staid approach will achieve top flight stability; it just won’t take the Baggies anywhere but mid-table in the immediate future.

Hodgson has a prolific scorer in Peter Odemwingie but he has moved to provide cover in the form of Reading man Shane Long.  Last season, captain Chris Brunt was the most prolific assist man (10) of whom you have never heard in the Premier League, and West Brom, despite their adjusted priorities, should not want for goals.  At the back, Ben Foster has arrived on loan from troubled Birmingham.  He is a definite upgrade on Marton Fulop, and, under Hodgson, may soon find Fabio Capello pressuring him to reconsider his international sabbatical.

As well, the club has been convinced by Owen Hargreaves’fitness tapes and have tabled an offer to the injury-hexed midfielder.  His healthy presence, if prolonged, may push the club into the top half of the table but, if you’re a Baggies fan,  don’t hold your breath.

The big question surrounding Alex McLeish is when he will take the Celtic job?   Having shown the willingness to jump from Birmingham to Aston Villa, upsetting all of Glasgow by crossing to the other side of the Old Firm seems the next logical step for the Scot.  For the moment, however, he is looking at his new squad and wondering, even without Ashley Young and Stewart Downing, what he might have done in 2010-11, had he been this blessed?

Charles N’Zogbia, over from Wigan, and Marc Albrighton, out of the Villa youth set-up, will make the departures of Young and Downing seem like well-timed, profitable business and, thus, Darren Bent and Gaby Agbonlahor should thrive in front of goal.  There are questions at the back, however, as Richard Dunne and James Collins, already slow, did not get any quicker over the summer.  As well, Shay Given will need to shake off the rust, after sitting on the Man City bench for so long.

Trust is the three hundred pound gorilla in the Villa clubhouse.  The fans don’t have any for McLeish, which begs the question, will the players?  Further, will McLeish himself be able to trust Stephen Ireland’s talent to overcome his dysfunctionality and will the new manager put the same trust in youngsters Barry Bannan and Eric Lichaj that Gerrard Houllier did?  At the moment, I don’t trust in any of that happening all too quickly.  Which is why I see such a talent-laden team remaining mired in mediocrity, despite the manager’s Carling Cup stunner last season.

In London, Neil Warnock has the full trust of the QPR clubhouse.  The problem is that the ownership of F1 bosses Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatore doesn’t engender the same confidence.  Despite the lack of funding from above, with Blackpool’s DJ Campbell the only investment, at £2 million, the outspoken Warnock has gone about his business, signing Jay Bothroyd from Cardiff, and Danny Gabbidon and Kieron Dyer from West Ham (the latter by way of Ipswich), all on free transfers.  Somehow, the club has also managed to hold onto talented midfielder Adel Taraabt, despite interest from new money side Paris Saint-Germain.

That Warnock will have to compete with the rest of the Premier League on the cheap doesn’t bode well for future success but the current circumstances provide an environment in which the crafty Warnock can instill and exploit an Us v The World mentality in his squad.  In the short run, I’m betting that it will be just enough to lift them above the relegation fray.

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!

Blackburn‘s new owners, Venky’s, have taken a lot of stick since becoming part of the Premier League family and some people out there, afflicted with severe doses of PC, have taken exception.  The fact of the matter, however, is that no one really cares where the new Rovers supremos call home or how they made their fortune.  They hear it because they’ve thus far proved to be inept.

What else do you call it  when one executive, in India, says the club intend to become a top side, then another in the UK says, no, they’ll be happy to stay mid-table?  Next, someone pipes up that they’ve hired a consultant to identify, negotiate with and sign new players, starting with Ronaldinho, no less, with that whopper followed by someone else saying, don’t be silly, there’s no need to buy when you can just “outsource” from other clubs.  Hot on the heels of that piece of wisdom, the group let it be known that Mr. Sam — Big Sam Allardyce to you and me — would have the last say on all transfers.  A week later, Mr. Sam is in the booth for Sky instead of the dugout for Blackburn, very much to his surprise.

Now, Steve Kean is in charge and the club — safely mid-table and starting to gel when Big Sam was informed that he was just taking up space — is breathing easier after falling into the midst of a relegation battle and managing to pull themselves out at the last minute.

There’s little to suggest, however, that in his first full season, if he survives it, Kean will help the club progress.  Highly touted young defender Phil Jones has been sold on to Manchester United after some acrimonious hard-balling, which could very well hurt the club’s ability to do business down the road.  (Now, I realise that I’ve criticised Steve Bruce for kowtowing to the champions and Venky’s for getting in their face, but there is a middle ground between the two extremes.)   Envious of Jones, Chris Samba, the former captain, is as desperate as Kevin Nolan to leave his club and El Hadji Diouf has earned his way out by not showing up — but the club has signed David Goodwillie, who had charges of sexual assault dismissed for lack of evidence in Scotland, although leaked details of the case forced his departure.

To call the situation at Ewood Park anything other than a mess would be a kindness.  Look for the club to hover just above the drop zone for the better part of the season.

Roberto Martinez has managed to keep Hugo Rodallega, a quality goal scorer, at Wigan, and provide him a strong partner in Irishman Conor Sammon.  Unfortunately, the man most responsible for getting the ball into the opponent’s box, Charles N’Zogbia, is now wearing Claret and Blue.

The club has taken on the dogged determination of chairman Dave Whelan and plays the open attacking style favoured by classy manager Martinez, but WFC correspondent Daniel Doran may be right:  with too much quality leaving and insufficient coming in, it may finally be Wigan’s year to go back down.

On the other hand, I think that there’s enough stubborness and imagination in the tank for the Latics to stick around for another season.

Well then, What about Norwich?  Can they stay up?

Can Delia Smith and Michael Wynn-Jones, passionate and inspiring as they are, even come close to competing financially with the likes of John Henry, the Glazers, Roman Abramovich and Sheikh Mansour?  Can a squad whose only three players not from the UK or Ireland are an American, a Canadian and Belgian Ritchie de Laet, on loan from Man United, go toe to toe with even Manchester City’s reserve side?  Can Kyle Naughton, buried on the bench at Tottenham, hold off the likes of Andy Carroll, Chicharito or, on a slow day, Fernando Torres? Can James Vaughn make a difference here despite not doing so anywhere else, other than to coax Tony Pulis out of his towel and into a decent imitation of Zinedine Zidane?

Oh, wait.  That was James Beattie.  Ignore that one.  Answer this one instead.  Can Paul Lambert fight off male pattern baldness, graying hair and relegation all at the same time?

Didn’t think so.

I like Mick McCarthy’s dry sense of humour and his pragmatism.  Unfortunately, I don’t like Wolves‘ chances of avoiding the drop.  Like Norwich, there are just too many questions without answers.

Mick does have some quality with which to work, though.  Matt Jarvis is a bit of alright.  The three Steph/vens, Fletcher, Ward & Hunt, share some chemistry, as well as given names.  Ultimate poacher Kevin Doyle likely still has a few opportune goals in him, too.

On the other hand, one has to ask if former captain Karl Henry can find his way back from the dark side, after the first months of 2010-11 saw him approach Nigel de Jong status?  Then there’s the hyphen twins, Sylvan Ebanks-Blake and Ethan Ebanks-Landell.  What’s up with that?  I’m not certain, but it might be another expensive violation of the FA’s arcane squad rules.

The most pressing issue for the Wanderers, though, is can they take points against lower half sides?  They had better, because this time around it’s unlikely that they’ll steal six wins and three draws, more than half their points last year, from clubs in the top half of the table.

Aaaand  – Thud.

Brendan Rogers and Swansea were the surprise of the Championship playoffs.  Fellow Cwms Cardiff, with marquee names Jay Bothroyd and Craig Bellamy in the side, were pegged to make the jump to the top flight.  Instead, it’s their more anonymous rivals who are here.

Former Villa prodigy Luke Moore will get another crack at the Premier League, after sputtering out at West Brom.  A loan spell at Derby, with four goals in thirteen matches, suggested that his issues might be remedied by a move, but just three strikes in fifteen appearances for the Swans last season doesn’t bode well.  Danny Graham, who has come over from Watford, will be the main threat, then, and Wayne Routledge, from the St. James Park Clearing House is touted to provide a bit of width.

There are two weeks left in the transfer window and, while burnt by Marco Senna’s use of them as a decoy to secure a contract with Villareal, the Welsh side need to find a strong, experienced player to galvanise the side, or the Swans will be flying south all too soon.

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Charles N’Zogbia.   If I could pick two words to describe the Frenchman, they would be enigmatically inspirational.  Andrew Beasley revealed last week that the Latics  winger is right up there in terms of dribbles attempted per game.  Couple this with his nine goals and five assists in 2010-11 and you wonder why a player of his calibre is still plying his trade at the DW Stadium.  Out of his fourteen direct involvements with goals, nine either put Wigan on level terms or ahead.

N’Zogbia’s recent dismissal of any possible strike action, in the event that he was denied a transfer, displays how far the player has come since the days of Joe Kinnear and Insomnia-gate.  He has been forthright, as always, but also displaying a newfound pragmatism, coming out to say that he wants to leave and believes that two and a half years of service has given him the right to a measure of self-determination.  Apparently, someone has been taking notes from that Argentinian bloke in Manchester.

Aston Villa’s Darren Bent threw further fuel on the fire by declaring the want-away winger as a “fantastic” player and rightfully so considering N’Zogbia practically kept Wigan in the Premiership with his five goals and two assists in the final six games.

How will Wigan cope now that the Zog is gone? Relegation, hopefully.

Call me a cynic but Wigan, for all the positive energy and class shown by manager Roberto Martinez and Chairman Dave Whelan, have been one of the more inferior teams in the Premier League for the last couple of seasons. They were saved from the drop this season by N’Zogbia’s marvellous form towards the end.  In 2009-10, their salvation was courtesy of two atrociously run clubs (Portsmouth & Hull) and a Burnley side that only managed three wins after October, so maladroit that Owen Coyle read the writing on the wall and made the move to Bolton.  With an average attendance of 18,495, less than three-quarter capacity at the DW, over their top flight tenure, Wigan very rarely sell out a game.  A more colourful club, able to attract a strong following by one not being bounded on all sides by top half of the table squads such as United, City, Bolton, Liverpool and Everton, might actually spice up the league somewhat.

Villa’s recent transfer activity has left them rather short on depth in the wide areas, with Ashley Young and Stewart Downing heading up the M6 to play for the two biggest rivals in English football, but they already have a direct replacement for Downing in the form of academy product Marc Albrighton. That leaves the Zog to assume Young’s role.  His arrival doesn’t just ensure a reasonable replacement for the England International, his versatility opens up a plethora of formational options for manager Alex McLeish.

N’Zogbia’s direct play and eye for an opportunity has attracted a lot of attention.  Fans at up and coming clubs such as Bolton, Stoke and Sunderland were all clamouring for his signature.  There is little doubt that he is good enough to play for a Europa League qualifier but is he good enough for a Champion’s League side?

Whilst Liverpool is yet to reclaim that status, Dave Whelan was willing to send him Merseyside a month ago. As a Kopite, I’d have had few qualms about him being in the lineup, rather than Downing.  Still, although he is the type of player that get’s fans off their seats with a bit of individual magic, he also has the ability to infuriate them in a manner akin to Man United’s Nani.  Downing, like Antonio Valencia on down the East Lanc’s Road, is a steadier proposition.

Villa have offered the Frenchman a five-year contract, which is a masterstroke. If, three years down the line, N’Zogbia feels he’s given enough for the Villans as he now has with Wigan, then the Villa board can cash in without the rush of searching for a buyer.

It’s a good deal for all.

Whelan can take his £9.5 million and either finance another relegation battle, whilst his neighbours, barring Bolton spend five or six times that to battle for trophies and Champions League places, or give in to the inevitable and laugh all the way to the bank as he prepares for a less stressful life in the Championship.  Knowing Whelan’s class and competitive nature, he’ll choose the former.  Unfortunately in that regard, he’s obviously much happier to have kept his personable manager than his occasionally irascible star.

Meanwhile, Alex McLeish now has something to work with as he tries to bring the Claret and Blue back into the upper regions of the table and, perhaps most importantly, N’Zogbia finally has the opportunity to prove he can contribute to a successful club, possibly even impressing Laurent Blanc sufficiently to add to his single cap for France.

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Okay, so maybe this is stretching it, a bit.  Cristiano Ronaldo did hit the forty mark for goals in La Liga, setting a new single season record along the way and Lionel Messi, who admittedly tailed off late in the season, after some rough tackles finally kept him down, stepped up to draw first blood against both Real Madrid and Manchester United in the final two rounds of Barcelona’s Champions League victory parade.  In all competitions, each managed to reach the half-century plateau.

One of them is going to win the Ballon d’Or.  We’re not so naïve as to doubt that.  But there were so many other stirring performances all across the continent, also deserving of a moment in the sun, and we at WFC do like to think of ourselves as big balls of gas, so it’s a perfect match!

Slip on your shades, then, and we’ll dazzle you with tales of the best of the rest in UEFA…

Will the toothy Suarez take a bite out of the Prem?

Everyone will be waiting for me to say Eden Hazard of Lille, as I’m a huge fan, but he is a few years away from true greatness, just yet.

So who, then?

Well, I have never been a massive fan of Liverpool – wait a moment before sending abuse, Scouse fans – but, under Kenny Dalglish, they have become watchable again and one player behind this resurgence is former Ajax captain Luis Suarez.

Already fantastic for Uruguay and Ajax, his movement while at Liverpool has been seamless and his performance tremendous. The goals may not have come during his first half-season but the entire club is in a state of transition, with no one, let alone the Uruguayan, truly settled.  I can only see him improving next year.

Further, if King Kenny can complement his current squad with two or three really good signings, I can also see Liverpool pushing for a Champions League place and Luis Suarez becoming the darling of the EPL. — Andrew Gibney

Okay, okay, got to get into character again.  What’s my motivation?  Right, snotty sixteen-year-old wants to hang with the cool kids, can’t seem to get laid.  I can relate to that.  I should probably go a little hip-hop, ya know, like crank up the shiznit, bust a little Les Grossman on everybody’s arse.  Okay let’s do this Ballon d’Or thing…

Daz Bent. Got to be!  Boy’s got mad skills! He has, I’ve seen it on YouTube!

Unlike Ronaldhino, Bent does his club-hopping on the pitch.

He just doesn’t show them on the pitch because it’s against his religion or some shite. Come on!  Dazza deserves recognition. If he had some exotic name like Luis Fabiano, he’d be heralded throughout Europe as a world-class striker. Alright, maybe that’s not the best analogy; the Brazilian never did receive the plaudits he deserved for his spell at Seville and then he went all Michael Owen, coming up lame every other match.

Still, like Benty, he knocked in ball after ball, like some kind of footballing Stephen Hendry. Just because they don’t do keep-ups in the centre circle, or dribble all over the pitch while their mates wait in the open for passes that never come, nobody rates them.

Here are three reasons Bent Boy doesn’t do keep-ups in the centre circle:

1. He thinks football is like netball, and the goal scorer isn’t allowed outside the area.
2. Keep-ups in the centre circle don’t win matches, goals do. Viva la poacha!
3. It’s against his religion. He’s a hardcore Christian – just check out some of those tats. Probably why he didn’t fit in at Spurs.  [Looks like his prayers for a move to a big club haven’t been answered yet though] – Jude ‘My Surname Should Be Law’Ellery

Editor’s Note:  It’s my fault, actually, since it was my idea to call the season review a yearbook.  Now, Jude’s going to stay ‘in character’throughout the series and there’s nothing I can do to stop him.  There just aren’t enough bicycle chains for this job.  

In the first two segments of the UEFA Yearbook, WFC hasn’t exactly been kind to Scottish football and I’m afraid it’s my turn to offer a backhanded compliment to the SPL’s best player in 2010 – 11.

In the first half of the season, one Scottish footballer stood head and shoulders above the rest.  His stunning run of form went well beyond expectations, given his history.  He was a veteran, over thirty-years-old, in his second stint with Rangers, with a cup of coffee at Celtic Park in-between, as well as having featured with Wolves and Derby in England.  Wherever he had been, he had produced a reliable but not exactly head-turning ratio of one goal for every three or four matches.  Yet, when the Holidays rolled around, and all that snow with it, Kenny Miller had already past the twenty-goal mark.

No surprise then, that half the clubs in England were planning to bid for his services when UEFA opened the transfer window in January.  Miller, however, stated his preference to play for a European side rather than move down south.

Fair enough.

What could possibly be so wrong with the SPL that a player would want to move all the way to Turkey to get away from it?

It might have been interesting to see what he could accomplish in the Bundesliga. Miller may have even fit well at a Spanish club like Malaga or Getafe, whose rich new Arab owners were looking to build a Man City style project from the ground up. If he could have kept his current run of form going, he might have been just the thing for an Italian club in need of a goal scorer – Juventus perhaps?

Now, Scottish football and its players have long been known for their independent streak.  They are firm in their own minds and will go their own way, opinion be damned.  The beaten path is not for them.  Yet Miller took it a step beyond, daring to tread a path never trodden as he approved a deal with Turkish side Bursaspor.

Like a surfer daring to ride a tsunami, Miller was the player everyone was talking about, atop the world for one moment and then, in the next, sucked into the vast sea of footballers, never to surface again.  Even though no SPL player was able to match his total in the second half of the season, Kenny Miller was completely forgotten.  Rangers went on to win the championship without even signing a replacement and, in fifteen matches for the Green Crocodiles, the beanpole journeyman was his more pedestrian self, hitting just five strikes.

Just when he had a good thing going, Miller let it all go to crap.  If that doesn’t describe the current state of Scottish football, I don’t know what does. – Martin Palazzotto 

My first reaction, in nominating a Bundesliga player for the mock Ballon d’Or, was to go for Mario Gomez.  The Bayern striker, after a slow start, which had a bit to do with him not being rated by Louis van Gaal, cranked it up in October and went on to notch twenty-eight Bundesliga goals.

Then there was Papa Demba Cisse.  The Eintracht forward was the only other player in Germany to surpass the twenty-goal plateau, with twenty-two.

Yet, Frankfurt barely survived relegation and, despite Gomez’s best efforts, Bayern underachieved in settling for third place.  If you look at new champions Borussia Dortmund, it was a community effort, with no one player truly standing out from his mates.  Don’t you just hate that?

Another goal bites the dust.

It was time to dig deep, then, to find a suitable nominee and, when I thought back on the season, the one German player whose name kept popping up more than any other was Manuel Neuer.  Like Demba Cisse, Neuer was stuck on struggling Schalke.  Unlike Demba Cisse, though, his side made a tremendous Champions League run, culminating when the Germany number one seemingly held off Man United singlehandedly for over an hour in the first leg of the semi-final.  One man against eleven, going down with gloves blazing.  It’s the stuff of legend.

But he’s a goaltender, you say.  Who nominates goaltenders for the Ballon d’Or?!

Apparently, me.  So what if Neuer gets to use his hands and dresses differently from the rest of the team? I thought that society had moved past these stereotypes.   Aren’t we all touchy-feely and inclusive regarding minorities?  Don’t we preach against discrimination and believe in human rights?  I mean, if a murderer has the right to father a child through artificial insemination while incarcerated – and, for those of you who stick to the back pages, I’m not making that up – doesn’t a goalkeeper deserve to be considered the best player on the pitch even if he is constrained to the eighteen yard box?

Get with it, people.  If you’re truly going to support the rights of the downtrodden, you have to put aside conventional thinking and make some sacrifices. – Martin Palazzotto

Bjorn Vleminckx and Dmitry Bulykin, the two leading goal-scorers in the Eredivisie during the just completed season may both be leaving the Netherlands behind but Dutch football’s best player will be sticking around.

Immediately after the season ending match, Janssen was switching shirts.

Theo Janssen hit for thirteen goals from midfield in the Eredivisie, making him second highest scorer in the league for FC Twente, behind Marc Janko’s fourteen. It seemed that every one of Janssen’s efforts came just when needed and his brilliant strike against PSV may have been the goal of the season.  He’s also provided plenty of match winning assists; everything positive and great from FC Twente this season has gone through him.

It all ended in a losing cause, as Twente failed to defend their title on the last day of the campaign.   Theo did manage to give Twente a glimmer of hope in that match against Ajax, where they were only a draw away from retaining the Championship.

No doubt, that final performance convinced Frank de Boer and Ajax write the cheque to bring him to the Amsterdam ArenA and in turn strengthen Ajax for the new season, one they go into as champions.  In agreeing to move from the old champions to the new, Janssen paid heed to the old proverb, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. – Mohamed Moallim

No matter what Andrew might think, at the tender age of 21, midfielder Eden Hazard has already established himself as the biggest attacking threat for Lille, who this year completed a long-awaited Ligue 1 and Coupe de France double.

Hazard's best quality also worries Lille; the Belgian is always on the move.

On paper, his statistics – 7 goals and 9 assists – aren’t anywhere near those of Ronaldo or Messi, but that neglects what Hazard brings to the team, as well as his ability. If Ronaldo and Messi are the greatest two dribblers in the game, Hazard isn’t far behind. He is often the focal point for Lille’s attacks, and whilst not a spectacular scorer of goals – yet – he is certainly a scorer of spectacular goals.

As such, he has been a key part in the Lille’s stylish attacking system this season. That said, it might well be that the Belgian needs to make an impact on the biggest stages to be seriously considered as the best in the world. With his club future up in the air, and his national side’s stock of young talent, Hazard’s breakthrough could well come very soon. And with the midfielder rumoured to favour a move to Spain, he could go into direct competition with the two big guns. — Tapesh Patel

Portugal has long been isolated from the rest of Europe, surrounded as it is by Spain on one side and the Atlantic Ocean on the other.  A long spell under dictatorial rule didn’t help matters, either.  Yet, Portugal has long contributed players to the game and, every now and then, has moved abruptly from the fringe of the continent to dominate its footballing heart.

This season, Porto, who claimed the Champions League almost a decade ago under Jose Mourinho, stepped to the fore again, running away with the Liga Sagres and ripping through Sevilla, CSKA and Spartak Moscow, Villareal and finally fellow Portuguese side Braga to win the Europa League.

In May, Falcao was undeniably king of the world.

The continental triumph drew favourable comparisons with Jose Mourinho for current boss Andres Villas-Boas but Colombian striker Falcao completely eclipsed the dominant performance of last year’s Atleti hero, Diego Forlan.

Porto’s incredible dominance of the domestic league, a thirty round competition which they won by twenty-one points, allowed them to focus fully on the Europa League.  Well rested and directing all his energies into the continental battles, Falcao not only set a record haul for a UEFA tournament, his seventeen overtaking Juergen Klinsmann’s previous mark of fifteen, he surpassed his own tally of sixteen league goals, as well.

With such big game numbers, it’s little wonder that the former River Plate star will be hotly pursued this summer, with Arsenal and Tottenham already rumoured to be willing to meet his €30 million buy-out clause.  Understandably, Porto want to keep the nucleus of Villas-Boas, Falcao and Hulk together for a run in the Champions League but there is no question that an attractive amount of zeroes are going to be dangled under their noses between now and September.  – Martin Palazzotto

Believe it or not, there are other outstanding players in La Liga, ones who do not play for either Barcelona or Real Madrid.  The truth of that has been a constant thorn in the side of the two giants, as no matter how many of the up-and-comers they recruit to their own cause, others keep cropping up to take their place.

It’s also been a bother to the lesser Spanish clubs, who repeatedly find themselves having to replace a budding young star who has packed his bags for the bright lights of the big city club.  Real’s crosstown rival Atletico Madrid have adopted extreme measures, placing a codicil in Sergio Kun-Aguero’s contract preventing him from transferring directly from the Vicente Calderon to the Santiago Bernabeu.

They call me mellow yellow.

Barcelona, however, have continued to rape and pillage the local peasants.  Last year, they snapped up David Vila from a cash-strapped Valencia and this summer, they’re rumoured to be moving for the player who might have been the darling of the Spanish league in a world without Messi and Ronaldo.

Villareal’s American-born Azzurri international, Giuseppe Rossi, formed a clinical partnership with Nilmar and struck for thirty-two goals in all competitions for the Yellow Submarine.  Depending upon your perspective, he has either not been trusted by Marcelo Lippi and Cesare Prandelli or has simply failed to impress on the international stage.

Yet, Villareal boss Juan Carlos Garrido has had absolutely nothing to complain about.  When Nilmar suffered a leg injury in January, Rossi stepped up his game, even with opposing defenders free to focus more on him.  As a result, the side finished a comfortable fourth, eligible for the Champions League qualifiers and also made it all the way to the semi-finals of the Europa League, where they ran into the torrent form of Falcao and eventual champions Porto. – Martin Palazzotto

Messi mania is taking the footballing world by storm, it’s true – that is everywhere except Madrid and Parma.

I’ll let coach Franco Colomba explain regarding the latter:

“Would I like to train Messi? Of course. Although, to tell the truth, we’ve already got someone who really reminds me of him. It’s Giovinco.”

Sebastian Giovinco has, without the appropriate fanfare which would accompany a player at a larger club, taken Serie A by storm. The pint-sized playmaker, cast aside by one of those larger clubs, Juventus, has proved a revelation since being snapped up by the Gialloblu on a co-ownership deal.

Following the Messi template, Giovinco is small in stature but his contributions have had a big effect in keeping Parma in Serie A. Excelling in a struggling side is difficult to do; just ask erstwhile Hammer Scott Parker.

This diminutive starlet is ready for the big time!

Regardless the 24-year-old Crusader has been the driving force in midfield, speeding Parma away from relegation in the final weeks to finish a respectably in twelfth place, ten points clear of the drop zone.

Ironically, three of Giovinco’s seven goals in the campaign came against his parent club. Two came in a 4-1 drubbing back in January, while a free-kick settled the return game 1-0. Add in a flurry of man-of-the-match awards and Juventus have been left kicking their heels in disgust at their own foolishness.  It might be them, instead of Rome or Lazio playing in the Europa league next season, had they shown a little faith.

With little Sebbe outshining seasoned veterans such as Hernan Crespo and Amauri, fans are now clamouring for the return of their new terrace hero next season. So far the signs are encouraging as Giovinco has gone on-record to state that he’s “ninety-nine percent sure” of returning next season.

Giovinco’s form hasn’t gone unnoticed on the international stage either. Having already starred at the Under-21 level, he made his Azzurri bow in a friendly with Germany in February, then came off the bench a month later to set up an assist with a creative backheel. – Shaun Best

Hopefully, we’ve opened your eyes to some unnoticed players deserving of a little attention.  That’s, of course, only after you’ve caught up on which Lego Super-set Little Leo is currently constructing, and which photo shoot was the latest to feature Ronaldo.

On Tuesday, keep an eye out for the fourth instalment in WFC’s 2010-11 UEFA Year Book:  Club Most Likely To Win The 2012 Champions League Final

In the meantime, you can read the previous chapters in the UEFA Yearbook by clicking on the links below.

1. Most Memorable Moments
2. Most Forgettable Moments

Enjoy!

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There were many wonderful moments in Europe over the course of the 2010-11 season, as we noted in the opening segment of the Yearbook.  But for every sweet moment, such as Eric Abidal hoisting the Champions League Trophy, Manchester United winning its nineteenth league title and Borussia Dortmund running away with the Bundesliga, there were a handful of incidents which left a sour taste in the mouth.

It’s our sad duty to sift through those now and bring you the most shocking, annoying and ridiculous events which occurred across the continent, as the campaign progressed.  Brace yourselves, it isn’t pretty!

The Premier League offers any number of incidents that interested parties might wish had never occurred.  It’s not just the level of play on the pitch which makes it the top competition in the world; the drama in the English top flight is second to none!

There were the Karl Henry and Nigel de Jong horror tackles, the latter of which saw the Dutch midfielder left out of the l’Oranje squad for an extended period, Peter Crouch’s exposure as a womaniser and Harry Redknapp’s continued issues with her Majesty’s Revenues marred Tottenham’s early season, Arsene Wenger would live to regret butting in on the question of hard tackles when Jack Wilshere laid into Nicola Zigic, the Davids, Gold and Sullivan, were rather embarrassed when they had to retain the services of Avram Grant after scaring off Martin O’Neill and, of course, the entire Wayne Rooney hold out, with Roy Keane accusing clubs of butchering players, Ian Holloway ranting on the Bosman Rule and houses running off in the night, and fans masked by baklava unfurling a death threat banner outside Rooney’s Manchester residence.

The winning nominee for the 2010-11 EPL Hall of Shame has to go to the first half of the Liverpool season, however.  The saga had legs like no other scandal.

The Kop had seen enough of Tom Hicks and George Gillet and were working an internet terrorist game against any company rumoured to be interested in helping the duo satisfy the massive interest accruing on loans held by the Royal Bank of Scotland.  Worse, Rafa Benitez had left, replaced by an ineffective and unassertive Roy Hodgson.  Players were becoming unsettled and the club was struggling at the bottom of the table.

Good news came when Martin Broughton announced that a new buyer had been found for the club.  Fan’s suspicions, based upon the fact that it was another American investor, were soon alleviated by tales of John Henry’s success with and respect for the traditions of the Boston Red Sox.  Plus, he had a pretty hot fiance.

Tom Hicks opposed the sale, though, as it left him with no return on his investment.  When the board voted against him, approving the transaction, he attempted to have the opposing members, including Broughton, removed.  A British court ruled in favour of the sale, which led to Hicks obtaining an injunction from a Texas judge, flouting any common sense definition of jurisdiction.  When the British court rejected the Longhorn magistrate’s butting-in, there was dancing in the streets of Liverpool.

Evil chinstroke aside, the gentlemanly Woy was unused to being cast as the villain.

Things didn’t settle down completely, though.  There was still the matter of Roy Hodgson.  The new owners voiced their preference to give him an opportunity to prove what he could do with their full support, which turned out to be not much other than to get into spitting matches with the fans and Rafa Benitez, who seemed unable to focus on his own troubles at Inter.  Finally, in the first week of the new year, Hodgson was shown the door, with Kenny Dalglish installed as caretaker and, eventually, permanent boss.

For most that would have been enough controversy for one season but Fernando Torres had other thoughts.  The struggling Spaniard forced a sale to Chelsea, where he would have the opportunity to win trophies, for a whopping £50 million.  John Henry, intent on building a winner, quickly reinvested the money in the purchases of Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez.

Dalglish and newly hired assistant Steve Clarke turned the squad around, slowly developed momentum and brought Liverpool to the threshold of Europe, before the season concluded with a late slide.  The club is well positioned to challenge for a return to the top four, however, and this is one sad tale that ended happily.  Not that all of the ones to follow will do the same. – Martin Palazzotto

The Championship acted as an almost perfect counterweight to the Premier League, this season.  While the top flight was raging with controversy and drama, the second tier, for the most part, just went about the business of playing football.  There was even an invitation to the England squad for Cardiff’s Jay Bothroyd.  The placid calm was marred on two occasions, however.

Over the Holidays, a struggling Preston sacked Darren Ferguson.  Phil ‘Coppertone’Brown came in but wasn’t able to save the club.   However, it was Darren’s dad, Sir Alex, who may have had more to do with that than anyone.  Incensed at his progeny’s ‘mistreatment’ the temperamental Scot recalled loanees Joshua King, Matty James and Ritchie de Laet from Deepdale with immediate effect.   Never mind that three United players, at a crucial stage in their development, were suddenly left without a place to play. Family comes first.

Warnock, a villain ready made, left the FA to their devices and celebrated his achievements with the club. Yes, that's his happy face.

Worse than that, however, and certainly less understandable was the FA’s handling of the Alejandro Faurlin case at QPR.  The forward was signed in 2009, with a £500,000 fee paid to Internazionale, who had rights of first refusal with Faurlin’s Argentine club, Instituto de Cordoba, for his services.  In 2011, it came out that the fee was forwarded to a third party, against FA regulations, under what is known as the ‘Carlos Tevez Rule’.

The FA had half the season to investigate whether QPR was aware of the arrangement and, had they significant evidence of that, should have immediately suspended Faurlin.  Instead, the Argentine made forty appearances, scoring three goals and the FA let matters drag on until the final day of the season.  With a ten point penalty looming over Neil Warnock’s side, no one was sure who would be champion, earn automatic promotion or be in the playoffs, which complicated several clubs’travel arrangements and gave them false hopes at a critical juncture in their season.

The indecision actually led to second-placed Norwich City assuring their progression to the Premier League ahead of first-placed QPR.  Finally, after more than one delay, the FA announced on the final Saturday of the regular season that QPR would not face a points deduction and would be affirmed champions.  The entire process tainted what was an excellent campaign from the Loftus Road side.

Well done, FA! – Martin Palazzotto

The most forgettable moment for me, this season, came on a personal level.  The realisation, midway through the campaign, that I no longer had any love for the club which I had supported since boyhood was a disheartening prospect.

The tip of the iceberg.

Matters came to a head with the Celtic/Dundee United match at Tannadice.  Referee Dougie MacDonald awarded, then rescinded, a penalty in Celtic’s favour.  When incensed manager Neil Lennon demanded an explanation, MacDonald lied to him, claiming that his assistant had corrected his decision.  The linesman in question, Steven Craven, subsequently resigned after receiving numerous death threats.  MacDonald and referee boss Hughie Dallas would soon followed him out the door, for attempting to cover up the deception.

What is distressing about the whole affair is not the immature tirade of Lennon and his appeals of its punishment, although such behaviour has no place in the game.  Nor was it the lack of professionalism from MacDonald and Dallas.  The real issue is why fans find it necessary, in defence of their club, to send death threats to officials, letter bombs to coaches and politicians, or to invade the pitch and attempt assault and battery, again on coaches.

Some blame it on drink, others on sectarianism.  Whatever the cause, though, extreme behaviour has become so commonplace in the SPL and Scottish Football in general that it has finally ground my spirit to dust. There was simply no passion left to follow the league on any level and it was time to let go. A really sad thing to happen, but one that I am not regretting. – Andrew Gibney

My most memorable moment in the Bundesliga featured BVB wresting the crown from Bayern Munich.  That the Bavarians had allowed Dortmund to gain the upper hand in the table was mainly down to all the in-fighting within the club.  

The figure at the centre of those battles was Louis van Gaal.  Players were complaining in public about their lack of playing time and his squad selection.  Finally, club president, Uli Hoeness could not contain himself any longer.  Long a father figure and defender of the players, it was amazing that he had remained silent as long as he did.

Two men with opposing views come to the same conclusion simultaneously. "Oh, yeah, he's got to go!"

Ironically, his silence ended after a Bayern victory.  Hoeness noted that the key players in that triumph, Anatoliy Tymoschuk, Martin Demichelis and Mario Gomez  were all players of which Louis van Gaal had asked to be rid.  Gomez, in fact, went on to lead the club in scoring and popped in the game winner against Austria in stoppage time this weekend for Germany, extending die Mannschaft’s perfect Euro qualifying record.

Hoeness also noted that the manager was not one to listen to constructive criticism.  The Dutchman fired back that the club president was only undermining his authority at the worst possible time.

Finally, on a flight to Romania for a Champions League match, club executives Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, Karl Hopfner and Christian Nerlinger brought the combatants together, forced a resolution to the matter and asked the two men to join in a group hug for the sake of the embattled club.  After subduing the Greco-Roman wrestling match which evolved from that hug, Herrs Rummenigge, Hopfner and Nerlinger released a statement to the effect that the pair had agreed to act more civilly and work together in the Rekordmeister cause.

The writing was on the wall for the outsider, van Gaal, though.  When the club continued to struggle to reach the Champions League places, it was announced he would not continue beyond the season.  When that failed to marshal the troops, he was finally sacked, with the club riding out the season under caretaker manager Andries Jonker.  Bayer Leverkusen boss Jupp Heynckes will take over in 2011-12, although, as diminutive as he is, he’ll have to tread lightly.  The pugnacious van Gaal was a much larger man and actually stood a chance in a tussle against the beefy Hoeness. – Martin Palazzotto

From a Dutch perspective there is one week that I wish I could erase from my mind.  I’m speaking of course, of the Europa League quarter-finals.

FC Twente and PSV Eindhoven’s humiliations at the hand of Villarreal and Benfica was embarrassingly thorough.  Both sides went in with a degree of confidence but a 4-1 drubbing at the Estadio da Luz for PSV was only positive in comparison to Twente’s 5-1 humiliation at El Madrigal.

The nightmare continued seven days later for Twente at the Arke Stadion.  Villareal dismantled them again, 3-1 this time, for an 8-2 aggregate victory.  PSV put up a better fight at the Philips Stadion but there was no way back from their three-goal deficit, as Benfica kept pace with them in a 2-2 draw.

It was another nadir in recent Dutch football history on the continent and an unwanted reality check.  The only consolation was that both of their tormentors would go on to lose in the semi-finals. – Mohamed Moallim

You can always count on the FFF for a bit of drama. This season was meant to be a new start.  After Raymond Domenech had left the national side in a shambles, Laurent Blanc was to usher in an era of stability.

To be fair, this was largely the case in the beginning, despite the FFF’s best efforts.  The suspensions of then captain Patrice Evra, for five matches, Franck Ribery for three and Jeremy Toulalan actually gave Blanc the excuse to bleed new players and make a clean break from the Domenech regime.

No, Minister, I'm not racist. I'd just like to have a few white players around, if you don't mind.

Then, in March, a scandal broke out alleging the introduction of race quotas in academies. The idea that fewer black players should be in the national side kicked off a veritable storm in left leaning France, with managers, players (both current and former) and politicians all throwing in their ‘deux centimes’.

Most notable was the split in opinion between the ’98 World Cup squad; an ironic indictment of a team once renowned for its black/blanc/beur make-up, which simultaneously exposed far deeper flaws in French multiculturalism.  Lilian Thuram and Marcel Desailly criticised the policy, joined by the likes of Patrick Vieira.  Politicians, including French Minister of Sport Chantal Jouanno, preached that quotas had no place in the French game and that players should be chosen on the basis of athletic ability.

Blanc disagreed, noting that  players of African, North African and French origin each tended to have their own tactical characteristics, with athletic ability not always being the most important criteria in selection.  His position was supported by French icon Zinedine Zidane, a beur, which exposed the cracks which are often painted over when it comes to discussions of French multiculturalism. – Tapesh Patel

For me, the lowlight in Spanish football was the combination of two separate but similar events, one occurring before the season began and the other after it ended, with neither raising very many eyebrows at all.  I’m referring to the double sacking of Gregorio Manzano, first at Mallorca and then at Sevilla.  

Mallorca, under new ownership which arrived only after the club went into administration, released the coach who had guided them to a fifth-placed finish in La Liga and, under normal circumstances, making them eligible for Europa League play.  Their financial difficulties led UEFA to disqualify them, however.  Subsequently, Manzano was let go and the largely inexperienced Michael Laudrup was appointed to succeed him.  While Laudrip began the campaign well, keeping the club in or around tenth place, the second half of the season saw them slide slowly down until they at last came to rest a very nerve-wracking one point from relegation.

"I'm confused. Do they want me to lose?"

Manzano began the season without a job but Sevilla was doing so poorly under Arturo Alvarez that he was brought in with a mandate to bring the Sevillistas back to their accustomed place, in the shadow of Barcelona and Real Madrid.  That he did, guiding them to his second consecutive fifth-placed finish and an unassailable place in the Europa League.  Shortly after the season ended, the club dropped the boom on Manzano, announcing that they preferred to go in a different direction.

Ownership, of course, does have the right to choose, or change, the course of the club at whim.  Still, it’s difficult to understand exactly why Manzano’s repeated success is so unappreciated.  Given the tremendous gap in quality between Real, Barça and the rest of the Primera Liga, the only conceivable direction left, when you let a successful coach go, is down.   One hopes that Manzano, who has proved his worth more than once, is offered a more stable position in the future, much like Manuel Pellegrini, who has established the foundations of a strong project at Malaga.  He certainly deserves it. – Martin Palazzotto

In a nutshell, Sampdoria’s whole season has been one the fans would love to forget. Last August, they were rubbing shoulders with Werder Bremen in the Champions League.  This August they’ll be tangling with Sassuolo in Serie B.

Trouble was on the horizon as soon as the relationship with prodigal son Antonio Cassano started to sour. After allegedly calling president Riccardo Garrone a “shitty old man,” the aforementioned substance hit the fan and Cassano was frozen out of the first-team picture and his likeness photoshopped out of several pieces of club merchandise.

Things got worse in January when both Milan clubs came in to raid top marksman Giampaolo Pazzini and pick up a cut-price Cassano in the process. Add in the sacking of Domenico Di Carlo, a last kick of the game defeat to city neighbours Genoa, which effectively relegated the club and the heartbreaking image of captain Angelo Palombo breaking down in front of the club’s fans, asking for forgiveness. Sampdoria have certainly seen their Serie A status go down the drain.

Claudio Ranieri and Rafa Benitez deserve honourable mentions as well for their calamitous reigns at Roma and Inter respectively. Fortunately, both sides dumped the deadweight, turning to rookie replacements in Vincenzo Montella and Leonardo to effectively turn their seasons around.

Finally, the fresh illegal betting scandal that’s rocked Italy has left as bad taste in my mouth as the pre-match drinks in the Cremonese bar. Nasty stuff! Around 28 or so former players have been implicated thus far and just like the Calciopoli scandal that rocked Italy several years ago, one must feel that this new nightmare has only just begun. – Shaun Best

Okay, so you know what’s coming.

There can’t possibly be any incident more regrettable than the first leg of the Real/Madrid/Barcelona semi-final, when it comes to the 2010-11 Champions League.  Barcelona supporters offer the excuse that they were only responding to Jose Mourinho’s negative tactics.  Madridistas reply that if you give the Catalans a game they resort to play-acting and referee baiting rather than raising their competitive level.

The simple fact is that both are correct.  The evidence was fully visible on the Santiago Bernabeu turf for all to see, provided that they had the stomach to look.  The Meringues were barging into tackles, oftentimes far too late and with studs up.  Even when they missed, the likes of Sergio Busquets, Pedro and Javier Mascherano were writhing about on the ground like Darryl Hannah in Bladerunner.

Okay, so not quite that bad but when the theatrics failed to impress the match official, the Blaugrana began hunting him in packs, haranguing him in an attempt to get someone, anyone, sent off.

Meanwhile, when football was being played, Real were continually pushing their opponents back into their own end, not pursuing but content to wait for their opponent’s frustration to create an opportunity to counterattack, as only they can.

How could you upset the children, Jose?!

But it was Barcelona’s negative tactic which succeeded first, with Pepe drawing a red card.  The heretofore shackled Lionel Messi was suddenly free to wreak havoc and he struck for a double to give the Catalans an insurmountable lead, heading back to the Nou Camp.

Jose Mourinho’s post game remarks, in which he claimed referees were conditioned to favour Barcelona because of their carefully crafted image, which included their sponsorship deal with UNICEF, did nothing to improve matters.  He was subsequently banned and Madrid appealed in vain, releasing video to the public showing Dani Alves obviously play-acting in the crucial foul called on Pepe.  In turn, Barcelona attempted to bring charges of defamation against Mourinho.

The UEFA disciplinary committee threw up their hands in frustration and told the two squabbling children that if they’d regret it if Michel Platini was forced to get in the back seat with them.  Wouldn’t we all?

A few weeks later, the entire mess was conveniently forgotten when Pep Guardiola’s side put in a much more positive performance against man United at Wembley.  – Martin Palazzotto

That’s it then.  There’s only so much bad news one can take, after all.

On Sunday, keep an eye out for the third instalment in WFC’s 2010-11 UEFA Year Book:  Ballon d’Or Candidates Not Named Messi Or Ronaldo.

In the meantime, you can read the first chapter in the UEFA 2010-11 Yearbook:  Most Memorable Moments right here!

Enjoy!

It’s been a long, hard season in Europe.  The campaign began in the shadow of the South African World Cup, where Les Bleus paid tribute to that old TV comedy, On The Buses, and the Netherlands introduced a new fighting style, Dutch Fu, to little avail in the final against Spain.  When the club season began, the mixture of MMA and football continued in the Premier League, where Dutch Fu master Nigel de Jong oversees the Eastlands dojo at Manchester City.  As well, Wayne Rooney fought off rumours of an illicit affair with a prostitute and held out for more cash from Man United.  In Germany, Louis van Gaal tussled with Uli Hoeness and in Italy, Rafa Benitez pulled an inside job on Jose Mourinho’s treble winning Inter.  Those are all forgettable moments, however, and we’ll deal with them in the next segment.

Today is reserved for remembering the good times.  At WFC, sadly, more writers have gone through our revolving door than managers in Serie A, but it has always been enjoyable.  We’ll miss the likes of Chris Mann, Matt Dalton, Geoff Edwards, Eliot Rothwell and Kristian Anker-Möller.  Still, those of us who remain behind have come together to bring you the best moments from the 2010-11 season.  So, without further adieu, let’s get cracking.

It’s been emotional. I’ll miss you guys – even old Paleface Palazzotto with his screeching, virtual chalk stick and strict deadlines. I might even pop back now and again to help out (not that I was actually there very often, eh Gib?).

I’d like to point out that at this time I’m playing a highly impressionable 16-year-old.  It’s called method acting.  To get in the proper mindset for a year book contribution, I thought I’d enjoy the freedom of being an obnoxious teenager again.  You can get away with so much more than an obnoxious adult.  So, I’m scribbling all this down on the back of my planner, during break time, behind the bike sheds with the cool kids (I actually don’t like smoking – tickles the lungs – but I pretend to take the occasional drag).

My older, more learned self will realise the folly of his ways in about seven years’ time – and go on to learn such mature facts as there being no such team as Inter Milan (just Inter or Internazionale) and their ground is the Stadio Giuseppe Meazza, in San Siro (not the San Siro).

Bale may not have deserved the PFA Player of the Year Award but his play against Inter is one of the highlights of the Champions league season

But for now, I’m a spotty, horny teenager, as I will be for the remainder of this piece. Miss Anistonne, the drama teacher, has told me I’ll never make it to Hollywood if I can’t learn to stay in character. And I’ll take the advice of anyone with breasts like those!

Best moment then? Well, apart from Bestie and the chewing gum incident, it’s gotta be Gareth Bale’s hat-trick against Inter Milan at the San Siro in the Champions League. Crucial, crucial goals in a massive game, scored by the best player in England, if not the world. He’s been doing it consistently all season, has Balo, and quite rightly won the Premier League’s Player of the Year award. – Jude Ellery

Editor’s note:  The rest of us will be our normal selves throughout the series but we have respect for Jude’s thespian efforts.  Therefore to help him stay in part, we’ll be spending as much time as necessary behind the bike shed, having removed the chains from a few of it’s inhabitants, to use for alternate purposes. –Paleface

For Berba, it's quality, not quantity.

Being a fan of Man United, you’d think it would be easy for me to come up with a highlight for the season.  They did just hoist their nineteenth league trophy, one more than hated Liverpool but the clinching match against Blackburn wasn’t their best effort of the year.  What, then, along the way was the most memorable happening?

After a good deal of thought, and ‘Paleface’breathing down my neck to get it done, I’ve settled on Dimitar Berbatov’s hat trick against, who else but Liverpool.  Despite his seemingly laissez-faire attitude, the Bulgarian is a player I’ve always stood by.  He’s a classy footballer, big and strong, a real number nine in  my opinion.  It hurt to see him left out of the Champions League Final at Wembley.

The pièce de résistance of the three-bagger against the Reds at Old Trafford was the overhead kick.  My eyes popped open and the drool rolled down my chin as I watched him control the ball with his knee, teeing it up and then leaping backwards to drive it over a helpless Pepe Reina.  As they say on Soccer AM, you don’t save those! – Dale OD

Hi all.  Hang on a mo’, while I get this bike grease off my hands.  Oh, and just ignore the moans coming from behind the shed.  Jude will be fine, although all those screams of “Not in the face! Not in the face!” were rather pathetic.

Next time I see Steve, we're going to have words.

So, where are we now?  Right, the Championship.  Well, it was obviously QPR’s year, even if the FA did make them sweat it at season’s end.  Congratulations to Neil Warnock and his crew.   For me, however, the highlight of the Championship season was David “Calamity” James joining Bristol City.  Obviously, not much came of it, as the Robins finished in fifteenth place, roughly halfway between relegation and the playoffs.  Worse, manager Steve Coppell did a Martin O’Neill and left the club just two games into the season.

What makes me think of James first, though, when asked what I remember best about the campaign, is the manner of his signing.  The morning after his bachelor party, a groggy James answered the annoying buzz of his cell phone, something he rarely does when his wits are about him.  On the other end was Coppell, who said, “if you’re not doing much this year, why not come down to Bristol.  We’ll have a few laughs.”  And that was that.  No Premier League, no England, no coach and no choice but to ride it out.

Lesson One:  Never sign a professional football contract while hung over.

Lesson Two:  Always have a fall back plan if you’re on for drinks with Steve Coppell. – Martin “Paleface” Palazzotto

It really has not been a memorable SPL season, to be honest. We have had death threats, managers attacked, player brawls, referee strikes, club sales and a lot of postponement. So there have been too many bad highlights for me this season.

But since my arm is being twisted, I’m picking the final match of the season between Rangers and Kilmarnock as my most memorable moment.   Call me cynical but as well as bringing an end to a miserable season, the match was entertaining and it crowned the league champion.

Always leave them wanting more!

With Rangers needing to win to secure the SPL title, they were three-nil up within the first seven minutes from a trio of superbly taken goals. It was refreshing to see a team finishing so clinically in such a big game! There was also a hat-trick for the usually woeful Kyle Lafferty and Croat Nikica Jelavic struck a lovely free kick to make it four for Rangers. The game finished 5-1.

Most importantly, Walter Smith won his last game as Rangers boss, departing with three titles on the trot.  Smith deserved such a send off but with a month to go it didn’t look as though it would happen.  Celtic were the front-runners but they slipped and Rangers passed them by, never looking back.

I hope for more memorable moments next season, and less forgettable ones, as Neil Lennon and Ally McCoist go head to head as managers.  Hopefully Hearts can challenge the Old Firm for the full season and won’t it be nice to see all the new signings and welcome Dunfermline back to the SPL? – Scott Johnston

The Bundesliga is one of the most competitive leagues in Europe and while Bayern Munich are always a factor, they don’t dominate in quite the same way as Barcelona has in Spain or Inter and Lyon had done recently in Italy and France.  Their fans do expect them to always be on top, however, which sets up an ideal love/hate relationship with the Rekordmeister throughout Germany.

This season, it was the haters’turn to celebrate, as Juergen Klopp’s Borussia Dortmund overcame an early surge from Mainz 05 to take the Bundesliga by storm.  An aging Bayern side languished in the mid-table, while Louis van Gaal fought off criticism from within, without, above and below.  Still, the set-upon Dutchman had the Bavarians within shouting distance in February, with a match at the Allianz Arena against BVB set to define the 2010-11 campaign.

"We won, we won! but everything is so blurry.... Mats, Mario, was that crunching sound?"

The first quarter-hour was a Latin American affair, with Paraguayan Lucas Barrios putting Dortmund in front and Brazilian Luis Gustavo leveling for Bayern.  Yet, two minutes after the equaliser, Klopp found some Turkish delight as Nuri Sahin put BVB back in the lead.  On the hour, the not so tiny figure of Mats Hummels sealed the deal for the visitors, who dominated most of the match.  A pair of shattered specs, crushed in the victory celebration were a small price for Klopp to pay for a championship.

In the aftermath, a supremely confident Dortmund would open such a wide margin on the field that a late season malaise never truly threatened their championship.  Meanwhile, van Gaal failed to last the season and the Munich side had to settle for third place and Champions League qualifying over the summer. – Martin Palazzotto

For me, two games stick out in the Eredivisie session, for different reasons, with one taking place in the early stages of the campaign and the other on the final day. Despite Ajax clinching the league at home against FC Twente in round thirty-four, their first league title in seven seasons, my memorable moment had to be watching PSV v Feyenoord in October.

It was one of the most surreal games I’ve witnessed in a long time and I couldn’t get my head around the full-time score, which read PSV 10-0 Feyenoord.  It was like playing FIFA XI on easy mode.  Games like these come few and far between in a competitive top flight, especially in the last few decades.

Ay, Caramba!

What also amazed me was the ruthless aggression shown by the PSV players, in particular Balázs Dzsudzsák, Jeremain Lens and Jonathan Reis, with Reis scoring the only hat-trick of the game. If that wasn’t sufficiently impressive, even with more than five goals on the board, PSV gave the impression, charging forward with their onslaught, that they were the team trailing desperately.

It was a watershed moment for Mario Been; although Feyenoord came into the game without the best of forms no one could predict the afternoon they would endure. Been even speculated, prior to the match, that he could be rewarded with a new contract at the full-time whistle.  Famous last words.

In the end, he stayed and despite a few more bumpy rides, culminating in what could have been Feyenoord facing a relegation battle, he managed to galvanise the side through the introduction of Japanese youngster Ryo Miyaichi.  The club began to ascend the table, finishing just shy of a Europa League playoff spot.  They also all but ended PSV’s title hopes when they gained revenge in late April, with two of Holland’s brightest talents Georginio Wijnaldum and Luc Castaignos on the score sheet. – Mohamed Moallim

Oops, wrong Brainiac. Apologies.

In France, a country still recovering from their World Cup embarrassment and now coming to grips with the Dominique Strauss-Kahn scandal, tiny Chambery sounded a positive note by making a stunning run in the Coupe de la Ligue, skewering Monaco, Brest and Sochaux, three top flight sides, before finally succumbing to Ligue 2 club Angers.

Personally, however, nothing could have been more heartwarming than to see an end to Lille’s fifity-six year wait for a trophy. The Stade de France was close to capacity, when, in the 90th minute, Polish midfielder Ludovic Obraniak curled in a high free-kick to the back post. Gregory Coupet, in goal for PSG, misjudged it and the net bulged.  Forty thousand fans in Paris (and one in Leeds) went nuts.  It was by miles the best moment I’ve experienced in following Lille for seven years. — Andrew Gibney

For many, Barcelona’s third league title and second Champions League crown under Pep Guardiola were the re-affirmation of the greatness of Spanish football, which was hinted at in the 2008 Euros and first confirmed in the World Cup.  Yet, Barça and Real Madrid have perched atop La Liga for so long that they must go a long way to impress.