___________________________________________________________________________________

“The cat is in the sack, but the sack is not closed.  The cat is in it, but it’s open – and it’s a wild cat…. At this moment, we are near qualifying at 4-0. But I repeat the same sentence: don’t jump the gun. I have been many times at the edge of a cliff. I know these situations. I have been to many big tournaments and matches like this are what I call top level matches.  But it’s not necessarily important to achieve one objective, we have to focus on what comes next. This is my law. I never look back, I always look forward.” 

It’s a good thing that Ireland boss Giovanni Trappatoni doesn’t look over his shoulder, because, if this translation is accurate, the trail of metaphorical carnage and felines trussed up in sacks which he has left in his wake would be horrific to look upon.

The quotes come from an interview given ahead of the second leg of Ireland’s Euro qualifying playoff against Estonia, and, while they tend to paint il Trap as a buffoon, it’s really the reporters who should be held to account.  Knowing that his English is primitive at best, the media are only too happy to focus on his shortcomings rather than celebrate his leadership in refusing to allow defeat at the hand of Thierry Henry in 2010 World Cup qualifying to stunt the growth of the FAI programme.

I do have a sense of humour and the thought of Herr Schroedinger turning over in his grave at the Italian’s imagery does make me chuckle, but I’m also aware of the underlying prejudice of English journalism, even if its practitioners are not.  Trappatoni is lucky, however.  His animated, good-natured personality provides the beast with what it craves:  interesting material which the masses will swallow whole.  For that reason, they are content to let him go about his business, pausing now and then to poke him playfully with a single claw.

His compatriot, England boss Fabio Capello, is not so fortunate.  The former Milan and Madrid manager’s reserved demeanor and sense of propriety cause the beast to bare its teeth, snarl and leap for the throat.  In the build-up to consecutive major competitions, he has found himself defending his captain against unproven accusations.  While Trappatoni was instructing on the proper method for transporting tabbies, Capello was being repeatedly grilled on why his captain John Terry wasn’t starting the Saturday match against Spain.

Never mind that these same journos have written on numerous occasions that (a) the fixture list is too congested and players need to rest, (b) there are far too many friendlies in said list, (c) it’s well past time that a new generation of English players are given a chance to develop, and (d) Terry has become too slow and would easily be exposed in major tournaments by the ball movement of sides such as Spain, their only intent at this press conference was to goad the manager into throwing his embattled player under the bus.

Time and again, they repeated the same questions, insisting that the only reason for Terry’s absence from the lineup was the investigation into his allegedly racial exchange with Anton Ferdinand.  When Capello insisted that it was purely a footballing matter and that he refused to discuss issues occurring outside of team parameters, he was described as “flustered” and “frustrated.”  Angry, disgusted and ashamed at the people he serves is probably closer to the truth.

And by those he serves, I don’t mean the FA.  I’m speaking of a public who buy into the sensationalism fed to them by the media, as though it were the sustenance of life, rather than its ruin.  There is far too much truth in the premise that if you repeat an idea, frequently and loudly, no matter how ridiculous it may be, people will come to believe it.

Trust is a commodity which our generation sorely undervalues.  It is a noble quality without which marriages fail, families drift apart and society crumbles.  Have we already forgotten the riots in London and other UK cities this summer?

In the far less important arena of football, trust is something which every championship squad needs.    Fabio Capello, a former champion both as a player and coach, understands this.  Rather than scorn, he deserves our respect and admiration for practising what he preaches.

Having accumulated a small store of wisdom during his Three Lions tenure, Capello isn’t apt to consider Saturday’s victory over Spain as redemption, either.  After all, it was just a friendly, wasn’t it?  No, the beast is always hungry; it won’t be put off for long.

Maybe those who suggest that England should have an English coach are correct.  At the moment, the country doesn’t deserve the one it has.

Wales failed to give anything close to a competitive performance on the day. It has to be said they had far less playing resources to call on than their opponents, but so poor was their performance it was quite hard to tell how England did themselves.

The game lost a little of its edge before it even began with the news that Gareth Bale, the terror of defences all over Europe this season, was out injured and it lost a whole lot of its edge when Frank Lampard calmly slotted away a penalty in the seventh minute.  Finally, when Darren Bent slammed home England’s second eight minutes later, the edge disappeared altogether and so did any slim hope Wales had of picking up their first point in this qualifying campaign, let alone snatching a win.

The match began in raucous fashion, with the English national anthem being booed, and the ill will spilled onto the pitch.  The game got underway in feisty fashion with Craig Bellamy elbowing Ashley Cole off the ball (ahh, shame) before squaring up to Wayne Rooney. The latter has not yet learned to harness his aggression and needlessly picked up a yellow card, which will rule him out of the game against Switzerland, in June. Amazingly, given all the criticism he’s received for lack of communication with the players, Capello revealed in his post game press conference that Rooney hadn’t known he was in danger of suspended.

“Rooney didn’t realise. I just told him it was not a good booking. He said ‘Why?’He didn’t remember that he got booked.

This is a good thing to go over with a player in pre-match preparations, Fabio.  When Rooney was replaced by James Milner, with 20 minutes to go, one had to wonder if that was, in part at least, to make sure England weren’t reduced to ten men.

The new 4-3-3 shape with Lampard and Jack Wilshere, the creative forces in midfield alongside the hustling ball winner Scott Parker bossed the centre of the park.  It will be interesting to see what Capello does when Steven Gerrard is fit again. Of course, this new shape demonstrates that the Italian is not wedded to a 4-4-2  - another bizarre accusation, as it’s England that over the years has been so tactically inflexible.

Wayne Rooney wonders why he suddenly has a nagging feeling, as though he left the faucet running in the bath.

His side was so out of this match, that I began by flicking between the football and the cricket but with Andrew Strauss’ men being handed their arses on a plate by the Sri Lankans, I ended up spending an increasing amount of time flicking to the news to see a group of angry students, protesting rising tuition fees, put in a world-class performance in an event England truly excels at – smashing things up.

**Roger Domeneghetti is an occasional contributor to WFC and has his own blog on footy and cricket – Who Ate All The Goals?

Over the years, I’ve found that being a Three Lions fan comes with a price very much like being a good but unlucky poker player.  Just when it seems that you’ve got the other guy right where you want him, drawing dead to one card with all of his and your money in the pot, that one card hits on the river.  It’s the same with England.  At the moment everything seems there for the taking, something improbable occurs, be it Maradona’s hand of God, the goal waved off against Portugal in the ’04 Euros, losing the 2018 World Cup bid or the Veronica Perroncel saga.  Fate kills England on the river every time.

Unfortunately, my upbringing had too heavy an influence for me to just walk away in search of another country to support when it became obvious that England was snake-bitten, although my status as a wannabe Rosbif has at least gifted me sufficient detachment to see things for what they are.  Therefore, in the wake of Fabio Capello reinstating John Terry as ‘permanent’England captain, it has to be said that you Brits tend to bring your own house down around you.  And let’s be clear:  I’m not saying that because John Terry has been given the arm band once more; I’m saying it because Fate’s weapon of choice against Three Lions supporters, the English press, has gotten the country up in arms about it.

Once upon a time, this bond was the focus of England's success.

The UK media, which so enjoyed playing a key role in derailing both England’s World Cup hopes in South Africa and its bid for the 2018 World Cup, is now reveling in rehashing the John Terry scandal to drive up their circulation and advertising revenue while sowing further dissent within the ranks of the national team.  Yet, the furore is not their fault simply because they continue to print unfounded rumours and innuendo.  The fault lays with the public who continue to lap it up like it was champagne and caviar, when, in fact, it’s just so much piss and vinegar.

As I’ve written elsewhere,  the whole scandal is based upon on a reporter following Terry and seeing him visit Vanessa Perroncel.  He did not see them holding hands, kissing or engaging in any other romantic behaviour but he immediately got on the phone to Wayne Bridge and asked him how he felt about his best friend having an affair with his ex.  Polly Vernon’s interview with Perroncel in the Guardian on 22 August, 2010, is an excellent insight into how easily irresponsible gossip can be taken as the gospel truth.

What are the facts in the case?  Well, I’ve already given them to you.  There is no hard evidence that an affair ever took place.  The paparazzi merely shaped an ordinary meeting between friends into the type of innuendo that the public – not just British but American, Canadian, French and anyone else with opposable thumbs, bipedal motion and allegedly higher brain function – is only too ready to believe.

The result?  A team that had been unbeaten and largely dominant in qualification under a coach who was praised for his no-nonsense approach suddenly lost all sense of unity, motivation, purpose and respect for their manager when they arrived in South Africa.  More importantly, however, papers were sold, television ratings soared and internet traffic went through the roof.

Amazingly, the tabloids continue to get away with ‘exposing’celebrities, Wayne Rooney being another prime example.  There is a saying:  once bitten, twice shy.  Yet, despite being bitten enough to resemble the husk of a corn on the cob, the UK public’s gullibility remains wholly intact and I think I know why.

There is a term to describe a tenacious player in the English game which is not used elsewhere.  Such players are called terriers.  Many pundits lament that the English lack style on the pitch but they don’t.  The tenacity of the terrier to lock his teeth into his opponent and refuse to let go is the Three Lions style.  Winston Churchill said it best.

“We will never give up.  We will never surrender!”

Gritty determination can be a powerful trait and the English, not just the Three Lions but the entire populace, have it in abundance.  Unfortunately it’s evolved to the point that Brits focus solely on the juicy bone right in front of their nose and are oblivious to the enemies stealing in on either side.

John Terry, of course, is the ultimate terrier.  He epitomises English tenacity.  The Chelsea man is resolute in defence but, like a terrier latched onto the proffered bone, his one vulnerability is that he can be drawn out to a player with the ball, leaving a hole for another opponent to exploit.  Still, his leadership abilities, as the ultimate terrier, are prodigious.  He may have lost a step and need a more conservative partner, like former Blues mate Ricardo Carvalho, to cover his six but he is still the best centre back on the Three Lions roster and should be its captain.

If the paying public followed Capello's example, the tabloids might sit up and take notice.

Fault can be found for his turning on Capello in South Africa but it is forgivable given what he went through in the media.  Capello obviously has and understands that Terry’s motivation was not selfish; he simply remembered what everyone else had forgotten, that he was the best leader in the squad.  Terry believed that he could reunite the squad and lead them to victory.  As 2012 approaches, both he and Capello are convinced that he still can.

“I have decided that John Terry, after one year of punishment, will again be the permanent captain. I think one year’s punishment is enough. He was my first choice when I [initially] decided on the permanent captain.”

Now, it’s time for the British public to loosen their grip on the bone and realise that one year’s punishment, along with a broken World Cup dream, was far more than enough.  Truth be told, they were far too heavy a price for Terry, Bridge, Perroncel and Three Lions supporters to pay for believing the lies of a media growing fat on their hunger for the sensational.  It’s well past time that England’s terriers turn on the media and bite the hand which has been feeding them.

Biorhythms track the wave pattern of your emotional, physical and mental highs and lows and are also tied to your birthday.  The idea is that the best time to make critical decisions or play big matches is when all three waves are cresting.  Of course, fate isn’t always accommodating of one’s schedule.

Like most superstitions, the power of suggestion has a good deal to do with what seems like proof to biorhythm believers.  Then again, it’s difficult to explain how so many separate groups, great distances apart and out of contact with each other, can all put their best feet forward, simultaneously and also forget how to play defence.

Tevez asks Edin who?

Three Premier League matches, Spurs v Bolton, City v West Brom and Wolves beheading of unbeaten United featured three goals apiece.  Those were the low scoring contests on Saturday.  Aston Villa and Fulham played to a two goal draw, while  Stoke overcame Sunderland by a three to two count.  Timid fare when compared to other matches on the day, as well.

From these ‘middling’efforts, Carlos Tevez netted a hat trick in City’s win, the only clean sheet of the day.  The other fifteen clubs in action will all have laundry to do.  The Argentine has enjoyed a three bagger in the past and Spurs’Rafa van der Vaart has had a brace or two in his career, too.  Their goals were no surprise.  Something supernatural has to be at work, though, when, on the same afternoon, Stoke’s hulking Robert Huth strikes twice, Wolves George Elokobi is denied a brace by the score keeper  and well-travelled Kyle Walker, on loan to Villa from conciliatory Tottenham, takes his chance in front of England coach Fabio Capello and earns his first senior team invitation.  Defenders all.

If that isn’t strange enough, there were two sides who scored three goals each but lost and another pair who scored four, yet couldn’t win.  Then, when you consider woeful Wigan struck for four, you just know something’s not right.  Midfielder James McCarthy had a brace in the Latics one goal victory over Blackburn Rovers.  He might have had a trey had manager Roberto Martinez not decided to make a slight adjustment and replace him with James McArthur.  I’m telling you, you can’t make this stuff up.

The Gunners' fleeting happiness.

It only gets more surreal, however.  Everton welcomed struggling Blackpool to Goodison Park.  In the 2010 portion of the season, Louis Saha made 15 appearances, managing just one goal.  In 2011, with Tim Cahill in Qatar for the Asian Cup, the Frenchman with the shock of neon hair had struck four in the six matches played but never more than one per game.  Against Ian Holloway’s side, Saha doubled his total for the year, four more goals in a five to three shootout.  Unlike countryman, Mark Schwarzer, who has been pressed back into immediate duty by Fulham despite the stellar play of David Stockdale, which earned the stand-in a surprise England invitation along with Villa’s Walker, Cahill was able to rest on the substitute’s bench while Louis, Louis, Oh yeah, I gotta score now, hit four aces.

If biorhythms had anything to do with goalkeepers suddenly looking like they were slogged down in mud and strikers seeming to have laser sites in their boots, the Arsenal/Newcastle exercise in physical schizophrenia becomes even more of a head scratcher.  In the first half, the clinical Dr. Jekylls in red and white put on a precise, technical exhibition.  Theo Walcott outraced Fabricio Colloccini for a loose ball, with 60 seconds not yet elapsed, and informed Steven Harper that it was going to be a long half.  Two minutes later Jonathan Djourou (you know him) was left open in the box to thunder a header under the bar.  Before a half hour was gone, Robin van Persie had added a brace and the Gunners went into the tunnel ahead by four, their day over.

Toon dine and dash, calling out "Chiecke please!" after Tiote's improbable yet somehow inevitable equaliser.

The problem was that Newcastle hadn’t even clocked in yet.  The fans at St. James Park, who had just witnessed a horror show, were about to be treated to a stirring drama.  The clubs may have changed ends but the goal mojo stayed put. The Gunners’suave elegant Jekyll was replaced by Toon’s bruising, wild-eyed beast, Mr. Hyde.  Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan began throwing their weight around and Abou Diaby foolishly retaliated, pushing the Magpies’captain to the ground and drawing a straight red card for not taking his medicine with dignity.  Slowly, the beast began to break its chains and on sixty-eight minutes, Laurent Koscielny brought down Leon Best in the box.  Barton converted, then Best would lose his man and poach a finish.  With seven minutes remaining Barton would convert from the spot again, leaving it for Chiecke Tiote to secure the point.

Arsenal were left wondering how Barton wasn’t disciplined for the tackle that caused Diaby to lash out and why Nolan was permitted to manhandle Arsenal keeper Wojciek Szczesny, later in the match.  The latter frustrated Jack Wilshere so much that he pulled a Babel:

Inconsistent refereeing needs to stop.its killing the game.if Diaby goes..whats the difference between that and Nolan on our keeper!?? £joke –Translation from the Twitter:  Dear FA, I have £10,000 that needs a good home.

By any measure, it was a strange afternoon in the Premiership.  Forty-one goals were scored in eight matches, defence took a vacation, the unbeaten league leaders lost to the side which was and still is rooted to the bottom of the table and Chelsea and Liverpool wouldn’t even be having words over the transfer of Fernando Torres until the next day.  Wild. Crazy.  Unpredictable.

Where’s Nostradamus when you really need him?

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, FIFA gave to me

Eleven Gaffers Griping

Ten Matches Amazing,

Nine Wags Enchanting,

Eight Landons Leading,

Seven Studs-a-Stomping,

Six Meals-a-Making,

Five Golden Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaalllllss!!

Four Failing Clubs,

Three French Men,

Two Keeper’s Gloves

and A Whistle Happy Referee

A great deal goes into the making of a good manager.  Obviously, he needs to have a grasp of the game, to understand tactics and know, instinctively, just who to sub in or out of the match and when.  He also must be able to coax and cajole performances out of his players, to put an arm around their shoulder and offer a kind word when deserved or to deliver a swift kick in the ass when necessary.  He must also have a good eye for talent, so that when he is able to convince the chairmen to unclench his fist and part with some cash to improve the squad, he doesn’t spend £2.5 million on Benni McCarthy.

The one quality that doesn’t seem to be a prerequisite for a big time manager, however, is self-control.  For every Chris Hughton, who goes about his business with quiet humility, there’s a gaggle of Big Sams,  Ian Holloways and Neil Warnocks.  For every Roy Hodgson, there’s a Rafa Benitez.  Even worse, evil, as they say, begets evil.  So, for every Rafa, there’s a Jose Mourinho and an Alex Ferguson.  For every Fergie, there’s a Wenger and so on and so on, in a circle unending.

Then it trickles down to the players, up to the boardroom and out to the print and television media.  In fact the only difference between shows like Corrie and Eastenders and the goings on in English football is that the footy is real.  Today, though, we’re going to stick to the rants, diatribes and full on tantrums of the professional football manager.  Lord knows, there are enough examples but we’ve picked eleven especially good ones to keep you entertained.

Boys Will Be Boys

Fabio Capello and Roberto Mancini were concerned.  Their players were having a good time and that just isn’t allowed when you make your living playing a child’s game.

During an opening in the Manchester City fall fixture list, players Gareth Barry, Adam Johnson, Joe Hart, all England internationals, and Shay Given took advantage of the downtime to get in some golf up in Scotland.  After their round, their was a visit to the nineteenth hole and then some extended play.  The foursome was happily on their way to oblivion, when they came upon a campus party and joined in the fun.  Naturally they were recognised, photographed and outed online, while they peacefully slept it off in one of the dormitories.

Will Ferrell famously threw away a promising career as an attacking mid, because he couldn't lay off the hard stuff.

Since the British media believes that anyone who makes a five or six-figure weekly salary should behave as if every moment of their lives was a funeral reception, the coaches were placed in a bad spot.  Both Mancini and Capello noted that excessive alcohol consumption can shorten a player’s career and you don’t have to be George Best to know the truth of that.  Capello, however, also laid much of the blame on technology.  If you remember his dish-hurling tirade against ‘tweeting while eating,’during World Cup preparations, you won’t be surprised that he has no love of the cell phone camera.  Don’t get him started on iPads.

As already noted, however, it’s supposedly bad form to be caught out celebrating while so many people are struggling in a harsh economy.  On the other hand, I’m certainly struggling and that doesn’t stop me from getting out once in a while to blow off some steam.  So why not footballers?  Obviously , the coaches don’t want the media distraction and the press wouldn’t be face-miking them with such piddly issues if the public didn’t eat it up like a sumo wrestler at an all you can eat sushi buffet.

Maybe we all need to loosen up, go out and crash a frat party, Old School style.  Who’s with me?

Separating The Men From The Boys

Can you believe Roy Keane is only 39 years old?  Not yet forty and he’s already cranky enough to have great-grandchildren.  He’s had a busy start to the new season, too.  Not only are the Tractor Boys well down the Championship table, not in trouble but slightly closer to it than to the play-off picture, but he’s enmeshed himself in both the Wayne Rooney saga and matters sartorial on the pitch.

When Rooney infamously decided to worship at the altar of Midas, threatening to leave Old Trafford before signing a rumoured £250,000/week contract extension, a legion comprised of Sir Alex Ferguson’s coaching colleagues, friends and former players, including Walter Smith, Mark Hughes and Steve Bruce, all rushed to his support, condemning Rooney’s disloyalty.

Not surprisingly, Roy Keane was not among them.  When, being a controversy yielding gold mine, he was asked his opinion of matters pointedly not involving Ipswich Town, he was happy to hold forth.

Players and managers fall out all the time. It’s part of life. If I was to offer advice to Wayne, who is a good lad, I would tell him to make sure he looks after number one.  Players are pieces of meat; that’s how I look at it. When your time’s up, your time’s up. Luckily for Wayne he’s at a good age and he’s fit. – Does he not think his own players read his quotes?

Ahhhhh, I love it when they turn feckin' blue!

Having burned every bridge, blown every tunnel and now planted land mines to ensure that he is never approached to sit in the Old Trafford hot seat, should Sir Alex Ferguson ever retire, Keane-O then decided it was time to question the manhood of the present day generation of footballers.  Roy Keane, exalted guardian of masculinity, launched an attack on the snood.

According to Roy, the snood, essentially a turtle neck without the rest of the sweater, is for sissies.  In his day, players wore the same kit in December as they did in August (they probably didn’t launder them, either) and when it became cold, they endured it like men.  The closest thing to feminism on the pitch, back in the Pleistocene, was England great John Barnes wearing gloves during practice.  Exceptions were made, though, “as the boy could play a bit.”  Nowadays, according to Roy, players wear snoods, gloves and leotards under their kit and “they’ve all gone soft.”

Never mind how Roy is all bundled up as he barks out instructions from the touchline.   Apparently, you stop being a man when you retire from playing.

Advanced Codgerism

Whereas Roy Keane reacts to the potholes in the road of life with a temperamental bemusement, Ian Holloway attacks them with evangelical fervor.  Ironically, while his team plays a game more reminiscent of Arsenal or Barcelona in its attacking intricacy, his thought-to-spoken-word process is strictly Route 1.  Not that I’m complaining.  When you live in the land of the No Fun League, where sporting personalities are fined copious amounts of money by their associations for saying or doing anything that might be even vaguely stimulating, ‘Olly is a revelation!

Like Keane, the Blackpool Boss added his tuppence to a pair of controversies this season.  Just this weekend, he vented his displeasure with the proposal to move the 2022 Qatar World Cup from June to January, complete with an entertaining pantomime of the relationship between Michel Platini and Sepp Blatter.

His Wayne Rooney rant was vintage gripe, however.  While advocating a return to the days before the Bosman Rule isn’t the best resolution for the current imbalance of power in the relationship between player and club, and again you have to wonder what his lads thought about that, it was refreshing to hear sincere emotion, from an insider, regarding an issue close to every fans heart but completely out of their reach.

Right or not, long may Ian Holloway rail against all that is Wrong and Useless!

The Last Stand of Diego Maradona

I’ve never had any respect for El Pibe.  Hand of God.  Vicious and petulant tackles in hopelessly lost matches.  They spoke to a complete lack of class.  A post-football life of excess, cocaine booze, women and leftist dictators transformed him from a villain to a buffoon in my eyes.  Then he became manager of Argentina.  All I could do was laugh.  How could Julio Grondola and the AFA make such a choice.  It was obviously for the publicity.

In fact it wasn’t.  The one thing that Maradona does have in abundance is patriotism and, where pride was concerned, the Albiceleste were running on empty.  Yet without any seeming grasp of tactics, squad selection and game management, Maradona won the squad over and had them playing so fluidly in attack that the complete absence of a defence mattered not.

When his lack of credentials was pointed out by Pele, El Pibe opined that the Brazilian “should go back to the museum.”

The rails came off against the Germans.

By the end of the group stage, half the pundits were believers in Argentina as contenders.  The other half thought it was a chaotic mess which only needed to meet some proper resistance to fall apart.  While the whole Argentine adventure was more quixotic than chaotic, with Knight Errant Maradona and his eleven Sancho Panzas tilting at windmills like Nigeria, South Korea, Greece and Mexico, it only took a real fire-breathing dragon, in Germany, to prove the doubters correct.

Maradona came home, his World Cup dream in ashes but unbowed and ready to go back into battle.  Jorge Grondola had other ideas.  With the team’s pride rekindled, it was time for a proper manager to step in and the AFA president played Maradona, demanding he sack his staff in order to retain his job.  Predictably, Maradona, refused, publicly claiming he would keep everyone, right down to the masseuse.  Adios, Diego.

Since then, Maradona has shamelessly shopped himself for every managerial opening, most recently at Blackburn, only to be spurned every time.  Yet, all of a sudden, I find myself hoping he gets a chance.  I doubt he’s spent all his free time cramming on Zonal Marking but he’s turned out to be a fighter, passionate and loyal, and I can get behind that any day of the week.

Chicken Feed

The Premier League typically becomes a managerial graveyard in December.  However, it’s usually the teams in the drop zone or the underperforming big sides who make moves, giving their new men time to shop the January transfer market.  Yet, Roy Hodgson is still at Liverpool and David Moyes, Mark Hughes, Alex McLeish, Roberto Martinez and Mick McCarthy all seem secure in their positions.  Rumours are swirling around Avram Grant but he is still hanging in, at the writing.

Conversely, Chris Hughton and Sam Allardyce are home for the holidays.  It’s long been established that Mike Ashley runs Newcastle on the chaos theory of management – if it’s going well, shake it up and create panic – but Big Sam’s sacking came completely out of the blue.  Since the Venky’s people have taken over, their public statements have been all over the map.  One day their goal was to stay mid table, the next to challenge for Europe.  First here would be no transfer funds when you could get perfectly good players on loan.  Then it was £5 million and finally it was whatever was sensible in the situation.  Rumours of their consultants, Kentaro, approving all player moves were denied and it was stated that “Mr. Sam” would have the final say.  Well, not quite, as it turns out.

Before all this happened, Big Sam famously said that he could do as good a job as Mourinho at Real Madrid or Inter.  What he meant, of course, was that it’s easier to get results when you’ve got a sackful of money and a clubhouse full of talent but it’s a bit more difficult on a budget.  However, it’s the job of the British media to take remarks in the worst possible context and Sam soon found himself accused of questioning Jose Mourinho’s abilities and overrating his own.  At which point, he gave them further ammunition.

If he didn’t like perception when he was in the clubhouse, you can imagine how he feels about it, now, hanging about the house waiting for the phone to ring.

Chickens Coming Home to Roost

Arsene Wenger has a lot of perceptions.  I know this because Big Sam told me.

Even if he hadn’t, though, I’d have realised it soon enough on my own, because Arsene isn’t too shy about sharing his perceptions.  In Seven Studs-a-Stomping we rehashed how the Frenchman had been forced to sauté a little crow after adding his perception to every harsh tackle on the Premier League’s books this year, until the final perpetrator turned out to be his own player, Jack Wilshere.

Why does everyone have to bring up trophies all the time?

With the perception of his hypocrisy fading like an Avram Grant managed club, Wenger took a new tack and remarked on the perception caused by the intentionally earned red cards of Sergio Ramos and Xabi Alonso, in the Champions League.  The mastermind of that little manipulation, Jose Mourinho, who famously labeled Wenger a voyeur four years ago, was happy to offer up his perception of the Gunners boss.

He should especially explain to Arsenal supporters how he can’t win one single little trophy since 2005. Instead of speaking about Real Madrid, Mr Wenger should speak about Arsenal and explain how he lost 2-0 against a team in the Champions League for the first time. The history about the young kids is getting old now. Sagna, Clichy, Walcott, Fabregas, Song, Nasri, Van Persie, Arshavin are not kids. They are all top players. – That’s the thing about perception.  It’s a bitch.

The Lead Dog

Another manager who’s struggling after having fallen victim to Mourinho is Louis Van Gaal.  Since dropping the Champions League Final, 2-0 to Inter, Bayern have struggled to regain their usual sense of invincibility.  Van Gaal has been frustrated in part by the resistance to his transfer plans from Bayern President Uli Hoeness, who actually waited until the club had gotten a win or two under their belt to speak his mind.  When they came Hoeness was quick to note that it had been Mario Gomez, Martin Demichelis and Anatoliy Tymoshchuk, the proposed cast-offs, who had led the charge.

What would Rafa do?

The pair continued to snipe until, on a flight to Romania, Karl-Heinz Rummenigge and Christian Nerlinger had to intervene and broker an uneasy peace.  Upon landing, the club released a short memo.

In an open discussion, views were expressed and exchanged extensively. It was agreed for those present to meet together more often in future and to discuss all topics relating to Bayern Munich. At the end of the conversation Uli Hoeness and Louis van Gaal shook hands and agreed to work responsibly together in the future for the benefit of Bayern Munich. — Official Bayern Statement.

Translation – Right boys, you have until the plane lands to beat the crap out of each other  and then, when we disembark, you smile for the cameras.

Whatever took place, the two look like a pair of pit bulls and neither has the mentality to back down.  In this case, however, Van Gaal would be well advised to start winning or he’ll find that Hoeness’bark is his more amiable quality.

By The Way, Which One’s Pink?

Another embattled coach on the continent in the early going of the new season has been Claudio Ranieri.  After another loss and another outburst from captain Francesco Totti, Ranieri commandeered a press conference and essentially told the press to stop fanning the flames of dissent.

The game is the responsibility of the coach. Talking about it afterwards is easy. Easy! Too easy, gentlemen. That’s for the sports bar. We’re going through a difficult period and I’ve been through 3,000 of them in my career. I have 20 years of experience. Do you think that I spend my time smoking a cigar in the dug-out? I read that Totti was against me. You can’t write anything more absurd. I have a loyal relationship with all the players, particularly with my captain, who has spent his life here and who has suffered a thousand wrongs for his team.

I have this funny feeling that if Roma can somehow catch AC Milan and claim the Scudetto, Ranieri will be in the dugout puffing away on a nice big stogie.

The Devil and Florentino Perez

Medals would look good on this coat!

As we mentioned earlier, Ranieri’s successor at Chelsea and tormentor at Inter, Jose Mourinho, found an eloquent way to tell Arsene Wenger to mind his P’s and Q’s, after the latter stuck his very stickable Gallic nose into Real Madrid business.  Mourinho wasn’t finished letting interlopers know what he thought of their intrusions, though.  When he was handed a two-match ban for ordering his players to take intentional red cards, clearing their accounts before the knockout round, the Special One let the authorities know just how far beneath him they are.

I’m pleased there is one rule for Jose Mourinho and one for the other coaches. It’s a historic punishment for me… it’s a medal not a punishment. I can’t leave the technical area, others can. I can’t pick up a ball an adversary wants, others can. I can’t speak with the fourth official, others can. They are medals so, no worries.

Mourinho’s best tool has always been the us-against-the-world ploy.  After, defying the world, in the guise of UEFA, once more, he turned his attention to the resistance from his own boardroom.  Using some dubious officiating in the Zaragoza match as a platform, he continued the struggle to wrest the team from Florentino Perez and remake it in his image.

I’m tired of this. My team deserves to be defended. If I say what I think, tomorrow I’m on the front pages and suspended.  There is a club, with a structure, and I want them to defend my team, not only me. — Get thee behind me, Perez

Unfortunately for Senor Perez, he is not insulated from the support, as Roman Abramovich is.  As an elected official, sacking the best manager on the planet is not a healthy career move.  This is what happens when you make a deal with the devil.

The Book of Rafa

If Mourinho is the devil, then Rafa Benitez is his most tormented soul.  Of course, it’s a hell of the Spaniard’s own making.  He could have taken the Juventus job just weeks before his ‘mutual sacking’at Liverpool or, after passing on that, he might have elected to not provoke Hicks and Gillett into giving him an avenue of escape from a rapidly deteriorating situation.  He could have even taken a month or two off and taken a different job, Sevilla for instance.

Why do I always feel like Mourinho is haunting me?

No, Rafa saw an opportunity to show he was better than his old nemesis by remaking his enemy’s former team in his own image.  It’s not easy to improve a club which has just won the treble, though, and even more difficult when you’re constantly looking over your shoulder to see what’s going on back at the old homestead.  Still, in defending criticisms from Liverpool’s finally vanquished owners and its current coach, he showed the world he has a bit of the mystic about him.

White liquid in a bottle must be milk –  According to Rafa, this means that Hicks and Gillett’s installation of Christian Purslow as managing director, after he had forced out Rick Parry to assume complete control of club matters, is why the club went south like Admiral Perry on steroids.

Some people can’t see a priest on a mountain of sugar – This one is as plain as black and white: Roy Hodgson is wrong, £20 million on Alberto Aquilani was an excellent move.

At the writing, Benitez has interpreted the victory over TP Mazembe in the Club World Cup, which has possibly saved his job, as sufficient success to deliver an ultimatum to Inter President Massimo Moratti, to sign 4 or 5 players in the January window, do nothing and watch the club join Liverpool in the Antarctic,  or sack him.  When Moratti chooses door number three, it’ll be interesting to hear the next parable from the Book of Rafa.

Cold Snap in Hades

Seriously.  Harry Redknapp refusing to talk to the media is like the Sun and News Of The World hiring fact-checkers.  Never gonna happen.  Yet, he did use the threat to great effect after the Mark Clattenburg debacle at Old Trafford.  While the ref was cloud watching and wondering if the one that looked like David Moyes meant it was going to be a really cold winter, Nani was bundled over, handled the ball and then kicked it into the goal.

As Clattenburg refocused and his linesman assured him it would be a very mild holiday season, the man in charge wondered to himself, “Should I have blown my whistle in there somewhere?”

Refs, can't live with him, can't drop 'em in the Thames.

Less than half an hour later, Harry was giving the correct answer to that question to the gathered media.  The next day, after the FA decided that maybe Harry shouldn’t have been so candid, Redknapp suggested that, should they have something to say about it, then he would, from that moment on, keep his own thoughts to himself.  Completely.

If they want to make an issue of what I said then I’ll make some issues as well – don’t worry. Don’t expect me to come out on the TV anymore – ever – and speak to the press after a game.  If you want me just to come and talk rubbish and say, ‘No, it was a good decision, I’m quite happy with it’, then don’t bother to get me to come out after a game… when I’m asked a question, I give a truthful answer. He made a right mess of it all, and that was my answer. And I stand by that 100%.

Of course, the FA knows that fans pay good money to see Harry have a conniption, and decided that no further action was required.  That way everyone is happy — United won the match, Harry gets to talk all he likes, the press gets plenty of juicy quotes and Mark Clattenburg gets to make snow angels on match day.

♦   ◊   ♦

Tomorrow is the last day of Christmas, when FIFA will bring us Twelve Pundits Punting.  WFC runs the rule over the chroniclers of the game, extolling the virtues of the best of them and plotting the demise of most of the BBC crew.

See you tomorrow!

Then David Beckham shows up at the last-minute, likening the bid process to an MLS season, and the German parent company of an American tabloid, which Golden Balls is litigating, leaks sensitive court documents which allege the globetrotting, one-footed wonder ” has a reputation for adultery.”  Whether it’s the British gossip mongers or the ones in LA-LA land, who doesn’t? Becks, Coe and co. soldier on, however, even managing to impress the notoriously ill-tempered Jack Warner, CONCACAF’s president, alleged WC ticket scalper extraordinaire and, naturally, holder of a possibly key swing vote.

Far, far too much information, Gary.

That’s when the Beeb’s foremost pundit, Gary Lineker, that dapper father figure who has all the young ladies swooning, decides to confess that he once ‘pooped’his pants at a World Cup match.

You can just hear Qatar’s Mohammed bin Hamman saying, “Oh, well!   In that case, Spain and Portugal will just have to wait for another day.”

Of course, there are those who think that the media is in the right on this issue, money be damned.  They feel that corruption exposed is more important than the money and jobs that will come with the awarding of the 2018 competition.  On its own, that is an admirable, if expensive, ideal.  Unfortunately, there are some key facts that are glossed over by the media and its supporters.

First and foremost is the blatant hypocrisy of the UK tabloids in setting themselves up as bastions of truth and honesty.  This is, remember, the same group which hounded Verronica Perroncel, Wayne Bridge and John Terry to no end, accusing Perroncel and Terry of conducting an illicit affair.

The furor was based on one reporter seeing Terry go into Perroncel’s home, well after her break-up with Bridge.  That’s all.  There was no follow-up.  No continued surveillance in an effort to get concrete proof.  It was simply, ‘he went in the door, so he must be doing her, let’s ring up Wayne Bridge and ask him how he feels about it.’ The landslide of innuendo which followed ruined Perroncel’s life, caused Bridge to give up his spot on the England team, eroded the support for England manager, Fabio Capello, who rightly considered it none of his business, forced him to strip Terry of the England captaincy and likely destroyed what, previously, had been a very cohesive clubhouse.

Almost a year later, one reporter, Polly Vernon, of the Observer, secured an interview with Perroncel by not offering to pay her and did some fact checking.  She offers up the truth, that there isn’t a shred of evidence to suggest that an affair ever happened.  What truth, then, did the whole ‘affair’expose?  Only that the English media will do anything to make a few shillings.

After the World Cup, two papers did pay an Eastern European prostitute to ‘reveal’that she had slept with Wayne Rooney.  Again, no further proof beyond a compensated allegation.  Of course, Rooney did more harm to his own reputation with his little role-play-for-more-pay episode last month.

Happiness is a vote for anyone but England.

Admittedly, the Sunday Times provided damning evidence in exposing Reynald Temaril and Amos Amadu but as Geoff Townsend pointed out, it could have been handled better.  With the revenue at stake in England’s bid, had the Times gone to FIFA before running the story, giving them a chance to act on the allegations, FIFA would have had every reason to be grateful.  In this manner, just a few officials would be tainted, rather than the entire organisation.  It may have even positively influenced the bid process.  Unfortunately, the Times’only concern was the coup to be had by painting all of FIFA with a broad brush.

Now, Panorama comes along and televises ‘new evidence’that other officials took bribes over a decade ago, when, in fact, there were no regulations against voters accepting gifts.  Like it or not, no law, no crime.  Issa Hayatou has every right to be ticked.  Then, there is the case against CBF president Ricardo Texeira, who has long been known to have his hand in the cookie jar.  However, not only is he the son-in-law of former FIFA president, João Haavelange, he is also an effective manager and, under him, Brazil’s stagnant football league has been resurrected and is now far healthier.  Another FIFA executive, Jack Warner, was again accused of ticket fraud which allegedly occurred far more recently but on which the Beeb could shed no new light.

Now, I am not naïve enough to believe these men are lambs but what I or anyone else believes is irrelevant.  People are innocent until proven guilty.  If you can’t prove their guilt, it is not morally acceptable to slander and defame them.  If you do so anyway,  you are just as reprehensible as those you accuse and have no right to cloak yourself in righteousness.

So, while the unfortunately named McKinsey report may have rated the England bid as the most lucrative of the 2018 lot, the fact remains that most people don’t like to do business with their enemies.  The moral of the story for England?  Defend principled journalism at all costs but not journalists without principle, else there will be a price to pay.  Can you say dosvedanya, 2018?

♦   ◊   ♦

From the American perspective, the 2022 glass is half full.  The McKinsey report, unlike it’s predecessor, the famous 1950′s Kinsey Report on sex in the States, names the US as the most well endowed when it comes to hosting a profitable World Cup.  Certainly, if FIFA is as corrupt as alleged, that has to count for something, especially when neither 60 minutes nor any other American news agency is poking at FIFA’s well fed underbelly.   You tend to get better results by scratching it.

The BidUSA group aren’t wholly convinced that Sepp Blatter and his cronies are rolling over and thumping their tail on the carpet in delight, however.

Qatar’s bid had been gaining a good deal of notoriety, with its ambitious portable stadia, replete in zero carbon green.  Concern about the heat when you’re not in the stadium was the main fault cited by the touring FIFA committee.  You can be sure that they also took note of the fact that the reason the stadiums are portable is that the tiny Emirate will have no use for them after the party is over.  Even though, Mohammed bin Hamman has been flying Herr Blatter around in his private jet for almost a decade, Sepp does have this quirky little thing about leaving a legacy behind, wherever he takes the tournament.  Add to that the ultra conservative mores of the tiny nation and all bets suggest that the prospects of being jailed for drinking in excess, dressing to the minimum or  kissing in public will limit traveling support in a place where there are only a handful of paying customers to begin with.

The despot actually did the US a favour.

Korea’s bid really put a scare into the Yanks, when Sepp noted what a wonderful legacy it would be to have provided the impetus which re-unites the North and South.  Even though they co-hosted the event just 8 years ago, admittedly with Japan putting on the final match, the Koreans can offer virtually everything that the US can, except for a slightly smaller return on investment.   Luckily for them, Kim Jong-Il doesn’t seem too keen on re-unification.

The Aussies do have a successful Olympics under their belts and have an even younger fledgling league than the US, which could use a boost.  Unfortunately, unlike Uncle Sam, the bigger sports Down Under are reluctant to play nice and share their stadia with the Socceroos.  Compound that with the anticipated loss of television revenue due to the awkward time zones in Oz and the Americans have to be confident, if not secure.

After all, in 1982, the North American Soccer League was booming, filling NFL sized stadiums and threatening to carve out a hefty chunk of the competitive US sports market.  At the same time, the designated host nation of World Cup ’82, Colombia, was rapidly disintegrating.  when it became obvious that the country would not be able to host the event, FIFA quickly looked for a new venue.  Steve Ross, president of the Cosmos and the Warner-Atlantic (what would later become Ted Turner’s Time-Warner) media empire, put forth an all out effort to bring the World Cup to the States.  American television was on board and, just as now, in 1994, there were sufficient stadia to host 6 competitions simultaneously.  Assurances were given that a deal would be finalised.

Why then was the tournament awarded to Mexico at the last moment?  No reason has ever been given but it is believed that the serving FIFA boss, the Brazilian João Haavelange, was still angry that the Cosmos had swooped in and signed Pele 7 years earlier.

Of course, Major League Soccer is at a similar stage in its development as NASL was almost 30 years ago.  While a much more stable venture than its ancestor, the league would likely make huge strides domestically, with a twelve-year build-up to 2022 offering the league an excellent opportunity to at last grow into their name.

The MLS Commissioner gives Blatter a taste of his own double-speak

When the 2018 Committee visited the States, their findings were of little concern to the success of the bid.  There was the rather hazy suggestion of legal issues and the complaint that travel within the US is dominated by the airlines.  More disconcerting was Sepp Blatter’s echo of his tired argument that the Americans need to line up their league with Europe.  Of course, Russia has just committed to this, despite even more frigid conditions than the Yanks.  MLS commissioner, Don Garber, did have the tact to promise to seriously consider the proposal.

He will keep his word, too, as any serious consideration will take into account the revenue to be lost by competing against three major sports leagues in the winter months, as opposed to just one in the warmer climes.  Of course, Sepp Blatter is a buffoon but he’s not a fool.  He knows when he’s being given the snow job.  So, despite the most offering the most attractive bid on the table, the US will be sweating it out for the next few days, hoping for an early Christmas present, cognisant that it’s at least 50-50 they’ll be stuck with a lump of coal.

The moral this time?  FIFA may be corrupt but it’s not always about money.

♦   ◊   ♦

Good luck to all concerned.

So, we all saw the match on Wednesday (or highlights of it). We all know that 2-1 was a flattering scoreline for the English Bambi which was caught in France’s headlights. However, the symptoms of England’s demise run far deeper than a 90-minute French lesson at Wembley.

I’d let Jude Ellery tell you about it but, three days later, he’s still passed out with his head in the pretzel dish on the bar.  So, I’ll try to be objective in covering both sides.

First, though, credit should be given where it’s due. I wrote before the match that France were searching for a post-Domenech identity and a collective personality. This still holds true. For all the quality on display, I can’t help but think that Spain, Brazil or Argentina could still edge them if they faced off now.

French fancies

On Wednesday, however, we got a glimpse of Blanc’s plans for Les Bleus, ones that have been devised over time, with patience and perseverance. In the face of criticism of some of his selections, most notably those of Philippe Mexes and Karim Benzema, he has let performances do his talking for him.

Indeed, the entire spine of this team bears the Blanc stamp. They are best characterised as a big unit made up of little units. The group that stood out, the ‘piece de resistance,’if you will, was the central midfield of Yann M’Vila, Yoann Gourcuff and Samir Nasri. There were echoes of Busquets, Xavi and Iniesta in the way that M’Vila distributed, Gourcuff passed and Nasri flitted. In no way would I claim that they were the equal of a world-champion midfield, but they certainly did a good impression of one against England, and each has the potential to become the next Claude Makelele, Zinedine  Zidane or Robert Pires respectively.

But are France really that good? If we were to make like-for-like comparisons between the two teams, you wouldn’t find too many differences. England had as many caps in their starting 11 (271) as France. So why the gulf in class?

Different methods, different outcomes

Well, the first thing to note is the approaches of both managers. Of course, Blanc took this match more seriously than Capello, but I don’t think anybody thought that this would manifest itself so obviously. One of the key aspects of creating a successful team is the cohesion of the eleven players on the pitch; when done well, the whole becomes better than the sum of its parts. When it doesn’t… The two extremes of this were on full show at Wembley – France, with a core unit that has played together for 4-5 matches, were able to pass the ball around a disjointed England side, who spent half their training sessions introducing themselves to each other.

This isn’t the whole story though. What made (and makes) players like Nasri and Gourcuff, underachievers at club level, so potent on the international stage? To me, the answer is blindingly obvious – despite not setting the world on fire they are at least playing both decently and regularly for their clubs.

Maybe this is more of a difference in leagues. Looking through the French squad, almost all of the players are first choice and key contributors (Benzema, again, is a notable exception). This makes a world of difference at international level. Certain world-class players are able to get away with a lack of club form (think Robinho or Miroslav Klose), but with all due respect, players like Joleon Lescott do not fit this description.

Has Britain Got Talent?

The dearth of English talent in the Premiership is becoming more and more obvious with each dodgy selection, although Fabio Capello seems to be contributing to his own downfall. Why was Joleon Lescott picked ahead of able defenders such as Gary Cahill? Why Kieran Gibbs instead of Leighton Baines? What about Kevin Nolan? Stuart Downing? Scott Parker? Jack Rodwell? Why (and this one irked me most) was Kevin Davies left out of the entire squad, having so recently been given his debut?

Capello claims to pick his squad based on form, but this hasn’t happened for a while now. The players mentioned may never make the first team, but as Blanc’s France squad shows, they can help to improve the starters by competing for their places and pushing them to the limit. Based on recent evidence, Gareth Barry certainly could do with a 101 on defensive midfield play from Scott Parker.

I promised to be objective in the beginning, so I have to offer a little carrot to Capello, before I get back to the stick.   The selection of Jay Bothroyd of Cardiff was both bold and justified. But even this smacks of a move to appease the fans. I’m not trying to be a conspiracy theorist, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw the entirety of Bothroyd’s England career on Wednesday night. Despite the clear quality of the player, England seems to hold a special contempt for those who play outside its top division.

As such, many will condemn Bothroyd’s brief cameo as a show that he can’t hack it at this level. To those, I would present you with Cardiff City, a side who (when he was injured) found life visibly more difficult without a striker that not only is their top-scorer, but links the play and gets others involved. The same Bluebirds side that contains Peter Whittingham, Chris Burke, Michael Chopra and -ahem- Craig Bellamy.

In order for England to progress, this silly taboo needs to go, and quickly. The national squad should be made up of the best players in the country, regardless of division. Has anybody seen Chris Smalling put in a performance this season worth a place in the England squad? Didn’t think so.

England – skimming the surface but not plumbing their depths

If anybody wants an example of the ability of the Championship to develop a player of the highest quality, you need only look at Newcastle’s number nine. Before the match, the French media paid particular attention to Andy Carroll, pitted against their own international new-boy, Adil Rami. Now, Rami is known as a physical, uncompromising defender, but Carroll’s Avatar-like physique proved a thorn in the French defence throughout. Having capped a meteoric rise from the Championship to international level, it is hard to believe that the Toon triumph will be cast upon the Capello-Eriksson scrap heap of one-cap wonders.

For other youngsters, this was a mixed experience. It’s fair to say Kieran Gibbs and Jordan Henderson were out of their depth against a dominant French midfield that combined the talents of four established international players going forward, but this was by no means their fault. Ben Foster got the shakes in goal, and further forward, Theo Walcott did not have the best of nights.

Ultimately, Capello picked a side that was too inexperienced. If there is a lesson to be taken, it is that a side needs time to gel and to form the team spirit required for a cohesive unit. The France that took to the field against the Three Lions may have far less individual talent than that on show in South Africa, but as a team, they far outshone Domenech’s disaster of a side. To do all of this, the much-maligned England boss must now find his best players, and field them on a consistent basis.

Does anybody have a drawing board?

The more important question to the world of football, at large, and we are World Football Columns, is what in the name of Sven-Goran Ericksson is wrong with Spain?

4-0?  Come on!

For once, the Prince of Petulance has a reason to be upset.

Worse, it really should have been 5 from Cristiano Ronaldo’s opening strike, which was disallowed.  Nani was in an offside position but you can’t interfere with play after the ball has crossed the goal line.

Spain were absolutely abysmal in this match.  There was just no desire in them to compete.  All they could do was wave their hands in the air for offsides after every goal.  It was completely pathetic.

Now, I know it was a friendly and results really don’t matter but the only word that comes to mind is bullshit (well, that and horse hockey but you get the idea).  Friendly or not, Vicente del Bosque brought virtually his entire World Cup squad to Lisbon.  The starting XI was the same line-up that featured against the Dutch on 11 July, man for man.  There was no experimenting, no tinkering, no adjusting.  There was only standing around like idiots.

For Portugal, of course, there was no Carlos Queiroz and, subsequently, no bus to park.  Even if Sir Alex Ferguson’s former number two had been in charge, his message wouldn’t have been any different from that of his replacement, Paulo Bento.  It was a friendly, with nothing at stake.  Bento told his side to go out and play.  And they did.

C-Ron only played the first half but he made the minutes count.  His little move with the outside of his right ankle to cut inside for the should-have-been goal was sublime.  Shortly thereafter, Carlos Martins opened the scoring with a shot that passed Casillas and which Sergio Ramos could only help into the net.

In the second half and without their captain, Portugal just poured it on.  Heider Postiga struck for a brace, one a thundering volley, punishing Spain for failing to clear the rebound on a beautiful stop from Casillas.  In added time, Hugo Almeida, who for some reason (probably the unkempt hair, five-day stubble and leering gaze) reminds me of a wino, uncorked a nice little bender when sent in alone against a hard charging Casillas.

Spain have now had their butts handed to them by Argentina, drawn with Mexico and been schooled by the Portuguese.  Jules Rimet is turning over in his grave.

Admittedly, they’re doing well in the Euro qualifiers but if the players’hearts aren’t in these exhibitions, del Bosque would be better advised to follow the lead of Brazil and cap some youngsters and veterans who have been overlooked.  Win or lose, they’d at least put on a better show.

Speaking of the Selecao, they were raking in the cash, along with Argentina, by bringing their traveling road show to the edge of the Arabian Desert.  For the right price, both were happy to leave their rabid fans behind and assist in demonstrating the capabilities of Qatar to host the World Cup.  From my perspective, they demonstrated exactly what was lacking in the bid — enthusiasm.

In 2022, Juan Roman would be welcome in Qatar but Larissa? Not a chance!

Fab Presilli, in his preview of the match, wrote of this and all I can say is that he was spot on.  The Qataris certainly have a nice stadium, the money and technology to build more and, as is the Arab tradition, are wonderful hosts.  Unfortunately, if you watched this game you realise the problem and that is that there are not a lot of Qataris and even fewer of them are football fans.  On the night, they had what might now be the two best international sides in the world, if Spain’s ennui grows any worse, and it sounded like they were playing in an empty gymnasium.

Seriously.

You could hear the players calling to each other throughout the match. There was very little noise from the crowd.  When the cameras panned the audience to show the few traveling supporters, the other problem with the Qatari bid became evident.  The Brazilians and Argentines in attendance were not only uncommonly quiet, by their standards, the women were all bound up in scarfs and such, as is the law in the Arab Emirate.

The thing about the World Cup is that it is a festival; the biggest party in the world, in fact.  It’s celebrated wildly, with colorful music, make-up and outlandish and/or sexy costumes.  The football is almost secondary.  Simply put, it is all about excess.

Naturally, Islam is not.  How many people are going to travel thousands of miles to a party where they must keep their clothes buttoned up and the noise down?  People are arrested, convicted and jailed in Doha for kissing in public, which is often done when teams win big matches.  Had the last WC been held here Larissa Riquelme’s cell phone would have been confiscated, along with Larissa Riquelme.   Qatar society is just not conducive to the traditions of the World Cup.

On the pitch, Robinho's new trick wasn't fooling Nicolas Pareja

As for the match, it reflected its environment.  There were occasional flashes of brilliance quickly put down by  hard-line defences.  Lionel Messi broke through in the first half with a heart stopping run but his volley glanced off the wrong side of the post.  Ronaldinho was in the starting XI for Brazil but was only able to escape the censorship of Javy Mascherano once or twice.  There was that delicious back-heel, in the six, that sadly rolled right to Sergio Romero.  Neymar and Robinho tried to combine several times but couldn’t get it right.

Then, in added time, when it looked like the match would end in a drab draw, Messi made one last run.  His pin-balling bob-and-weave got the ball to his favoured left foot and he struck it through the legs of Thiago Silva, against the grain and past a diving Victor.  One moment of timely brilliance in a desert of boring conservatism.

Between these two matches, I tuned in to the US/South Africa match in Cape Town, to get a look at all the American youngsters, fresh out of their MLS diapers, whom Bob Bradley had invited on this little field trip.  As would be expected from fielding an eleven brimming with green recruits, the play was enthusiastic but uneven.

This is as close as Somma could come to toppling an entire nation singlehandedly.

The South Africans, who fielded a more accomplished side, including Everton’s Steven Pienaar and Leeds United’s bundle of hubris, otherwise known as Davide Somma, were on the front foot for the most of the first half.  Somma, who seems to think that the United States has it in for him after not trying to recruit him for their national side when he was struggling in MLS, told anyone who would listen (cue the media) that he would absolutely “destroy” the Americans.

Complete annihilation must be a more subtle process than I had thought, because Somma didn’t seem to do much for the hour he was on the pitch.  You never know, though.  Check back to this space every few days, just in case.

Thankfully for once, the US didn’t fall behind early, even if they were being backed up for much of the opening frame.  In the second stanza, they showed their typical chutzpah, mixing it up and creating a handful of chances.  With Somma safely on the bench, Bob Bradley brought on 17-year-old NY Red Bull sensation Juan Agudelo.  In the 78th, he inserted Stabaek’s baby-faced Mikkel Diskerud, 20, a Norwegian whose mother is American.  The two youngsters enjoyed a bit of chemical romance in the 85th minute, when Diskerud managed to control a ball as he was falling backwards, bouncing into the path of the cutting Agudelo, who deflected it with the outside of his boot past a stunned Itumeleng Khune.

While Agudelo looks to be a very promising talent, my new number one for catchiest footy name is definitely Mikkel Morganstar Diskerud.

Apparently there is no translation in any other language for "Keep an eye on the really tall one."

And lastly, what can I say about England?  Sadly, the match wasn’t broadcast Stateside.  If ESPN thinks it’s a good idea to hire British commentators and pundits like Ian Darke and Steve McManaman (thanks for that), then they should show more English matches (the bastards).

Reduced to following a game via Matchcast is almost as enjoyable as having heartburn but the general feel of the match does come across.  Like indigestion, the feeling I had was that the home side was woeful.  Andy Carroll seemed to have some early moments but no joy and Crouchie weaved his magic but it was far too late.

The French seem to be coming around, even without  Franck (what scar?) Ribery and Patrice Evra.  Jose Mourinho, as he is for any big job, is the bookie’s favourite to take over for Fergie at United, when that day comes, but Laurent Blanc has turned some heads and, as he has a first hand understanding of the program, might just be the right man for the job.

As for Capello, the good news is that these were the last internationals on the calendar year.  He can get out and see some matches, get his Christmas shopping done and come back in the New Year to discover the bad news, that despite the breath of fresh air, nothing will have changed.  England will qualify for the Euros easily enough but will once again go through the dissociative process, when they get within sight of the Carparthians.

Such is life.

On Wednesday, Fabio Capello and the Three Lions welcome Laurent Blanc and Les Bleus to Wembley for (one hopes) an epic friendly.  WFC writers Tapesh Patel and Jude Ellery preview the sides, visitor and host respectively, to give you an idea of what to expect from this long anticipated match-up.

Tapesh Patel

The French

Unlike Fabio Capello, who seems to be handing out new caps every game, Laurent Blanc has taken an arguably more considered approach, resulting in a squad that hasn’t changed much since the World Cup. On the other hand, if you haven’t seen a France match since the reign of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, you’ll see a few changes.

Who and where?

In recent matches, Blanc has favoured a 4-2-3-1, and although a 4-4-2 diamond was tested against Luxembourg, I don’t expect to see it again. Here’s the squad in full, along with my predictions on who will play…

Goalkeepers: Hugo Lloris (Lyon), Steve Mandanda (Marseille), Cédric Carrasso (Bordeaux)

Hugo Lloris will most probably start here, with his form bringing Lyon up the table. Arsene Wenger might only be window-shopping now, thanks to Lukasz Fabianski, but other English clubs (Manchester United?) would do well to take a look at Lloris.

Defenders: Eric Abidal (Barcelona), Gaël Clichy (Arsenal), Bakary Sagna (Arsenal), Younes Kaboul (Spurs), Adil Rami (Lille), Mamadou Sakho (PSG), Anthony Réveillère (Lyon)

Eric Abidal is the real surprise here, but the defender who was dropped after the World Cup seems to have forced himself back into international reckoning at left-back. This will leave room for a young centre-back pairing of Adil Rami (24) and Mamadou Sakho (20). Rami’s physicality will be tested by that of Andy Carroll, and his form for Lille likewise. Having produced some good performances for France, he is one to watch in this game.

Midfielders: Yohan Cabaye (Lille), Alou Diarra (Bordeaux), Florent Malouda (Chelsea), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mathieu Valbuena (Marseille), Samir Nasri (Arsenal), Yoann Gourcuff (Lyon)

Several sets of eyes, including Roy hodgson's will be watching M'vila.

Blanc has tended, so far, to hand his former Bordeaux captain Alou Diarra the captain’s armband. However, Diarra has just been suspended for six Ligue 1 matches for pushing a referee during a match.  We’ll see whether that indiscretion will cost him come game time. Yann M’Vila is the other holding midfielder, and will probably be scouted by Roy Hodgson, who flew across to watch him play for Rennes last weekend. M’Vila bears similarities to Claude Makélelé in his no-nonsense play, and brings a passion to the game (one that Liverpool have lacked since Mascherano left).

Nasri will most likely be deployed as a playmaker, where he excels, with Malouda on the left. Ribery has not played during Blanc’s reign thus far due to suspension, and won’t travel to Wembley due to injury. With Jeremy Menez of Roma omitted from the squad, Valbuena could be picked to start.

Attackers: Karim Benzema (Real Madrid), Dimitri Payet (Saint-Etienne), Kévin Gameiro (Lorient), Guillaume Hoarau (PSG), Loïc Rémy (Marseille)

Up front, only one striker really stands out, with a bunch of okay-but-not-brilliant alternatives. Sound familiar, England fans? Anyway, with the Incredible Sulk™ gone, Benzema will look to continue his impressive recent work for Les Bleus.

Blanc slate – or is it?

Blanc is moving Les Bleus forward while Capello seems bogged down.

The sheer amount of new, unfamiliar faces in this squad means that the French side, like that of England, is very raw. The good news for Laurent Blanc is that the young talents at his disposal offer much hope for the future. The bad news is that, as Blanc has admitted, France currently possess an all-round side that lacks a bona fide world-class player. The closest Les Bleus have to this is Franck Ribery, a man of questionable attitude who has often flattered to deceive at international level. The team therefore still needs time to learn and form itself, and the manager needs time to find the best formation for it.

Look for Blanc to fine-tune his side, in order to find its optimal style of play, instead of radically changing its components.

And England?

To me, Fabio Capello hasn’t placed enough importance on the fact that this match is against one of England’s historic rivals, preferring instead to concentrate upon the progress of his youngest players. Laurent Blanc, on the other hand, has stated the need for a “strong sign” from his team, as well as his desire for Les Bleus to prove themselves against a side ranked higher than themselves in the FIFA rankings.

For this reason, I think that France will take a narrow victory, barring a hat-trick by Andy Carroll (who, by the way, could learn something from the attitudes of other young players such as Jordan Henderson and Theo Walcott). England are too far behind in the development of their team and their style.  France’s cohesion may prove the telling factor.

♦   ◊   ♦

Jude Ellery

The English

It’s March 2007 and England are two goals up against a weak Andorra side, in an easy qualifier.  Steve McClaren brings on a player from Championship side Preston North End, who nabs a goal in typical poacher’s fashion.  So was this lad any good?  Did he make it?

No, and no.  I’m sure you’ve all deduced I’m referring to David Nugent.  A solitary England cap earned the striker a move to Premier League Portsmouth, where his paltry return of seven goals in 49 games earned him a return trip to the Championship.  His international record stayed at one goal in one game, which is one game more than was deserved.

I’m probably being a little harsh on Nugent, who has proved to be a decent Championship striker.  But in that statement lies the truth of the matter; he’s proficient in England’s second division.  He ‘earned’ his England chance without truly being tested, and when he did get a shot at the Premiership, he proved he wasn’t up to it.

The new Zamora?

So have England learned?  Do they ever?

Up steps Cardiff City’s answer to Bobby Zamora, Jay Bothroyd.  He’s in the form of his life, with 15 goals in 16 games for the Welsh club.  The problem is, until this season, his goalscoring record has been dismal.  He has never managed 15 in a single season previously, and when he was in The Premiership, the only time he turned heads was when he was dismissed for angrily kicking Olof Mellberg.

I may be hasty in predicting another wasted cap.  Bothroyd may play well against France and even go on to become a solid Premier League player when Cardiff win promotion.  But more likely he’ll have a ten minute cameo and never play again.

Newcastle’s number nine

Can Carroll mature into the role Shearer once played for England?

The player in Fabio Capello’s squad who will start up top is the recent Newcastle hero, Andy Carroll.  Two years ago The Toon were relegated but their situation was not as black and white as it seemed.  A silver lining threatened to reveal itself towards the end of their dismal demotion season.  That ray of light was a lanky, lightweight, cocky and at the time cornrowed striker, who in 2007 had won the Wor Jackie Milburn Trophy, given each year to the rising star of North-East football.  He’s still lanky and he’s still cocky  but he’s developed into a stallion of a man who’s proving to be a nightmare for English defences.  The cornrows, thankfully, have gone the way of David Nugent’s England career.

Admittedly, Caroll and Bothroyd’s chances have only arisen because of injuries to established players, such as  Zamora, Wayne Rooney, Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe, but that’s the way of it in football.  Carroll has already shown his desire to grasp this opportunity with both hands by not withdrawing despite his own injury (groin).   Conversely, Bothroyd has doubters like yours truly to disprove.  Both face a tough task as they pit their skill and wits against a weakened yet hungry young France side.  Carroll will no doubt get more chances in the white of England regardless but for Bothroyd this could be his only shot.

Midfield support

It’s likely that Carroll will be supported by an advanced Steven Gerrard.  That leaves a Jordan Henderson sized gap in midfield, and the Sunderland youngster is one of a few who could force their way into the qualifying squads with a good performance.  The Guardian has rated his passing, vision and stamina as excellent, but criticised his lack of goals. One against the French would do him no harm at all.

Gareth Barry  will do his usual job of jogging about neither destroying nor creating while Owen Hargreaves is arguably a bigger miss for England than for Manchester United, especially as Capello was one of the midfielder’s biggest fans.

Defence

Gibbs' mission will be to fill cole's shoes, not Rooney's.

At the back, Kieran Gibbs is the latest off the production line, as Arsene Wenger attempts to clone Ashley Cole, the Chelsea man missing out through injury.  Gibbs is fast closing in on Gael Clichy for the regular spot at Arsenal, but it would take an almighty heave to displace his countryman, considered by many to be the world’s best left back.  Still, giving Gibbs five or six games before the European Championships arrive would help him feel comfortable playing at this level, in case of injury to Cole.

Chris Smalling and Gary Cahill are two others who need game time in the next couple of years, as John Terry and Rio Ferdinand are both beginning to creak more than a staircase at the FA’s draconian headquarters.  At right back Micah Richards could win back the spot handed to him by McClaren, as a crocked Glen Johnson is enduring an even more troublesome time than most at Liverpool.

Wings

Expect James Milner to come straight back in on the left, while Adam Johnson should start on the opposite flank, despite his lack of playing time at City.  Theo Walcott is back to full fitness but Capello should favour the man in possession, who has so far barely put a foot wrong on the pitch for England.  It remains to be seen whether he can maintain this faultless performance off the field, as City and England mates Gareth Barry and Joe Hart are seemingly intent on leading the winger astray.

Between the Posts

Hart has fitness doubts but should start in goal, as, if Paul Robinson’s fate is any example, Robert Green will have to stand on his head for some time yet to regain Capello’s trust.

Tactics

I’d expect England therefore to employ a 4-2-3-1: Hart, Richards, Jagielka, Ferdinand, Gibbs, Barry, Henderson, Johnson, Gerrard, Milner, Carroll.

At some point in the second half they could revert to a 4-4-2, with Carroll and Gerrard departing for Peter Crouch and Bothroyd.  Other substitutes who will probably get a game are Cahill and Walcott, who in the next twelve months should earn themselves regular starting places.  Capello has picked several young players for this match and is likely to employ most of them at some point.  However, it’s hard to tell whether he would have done so if senior regulars like Johnson, Frank Lampard and John Terry were available.  Is this is the start of a revolution or a false dawn?

♦   ◊   ♦

So, the consensus seems to be a hungry French squad making life tough for an unsure English side.  If that forecast holds true, look for heavy criticisms from the likes of Keegan and Venables in the coming days.  One pundit should put in an unpredictably solid performance, however, as Alan Shearer will actually be able to share some detailed knowledge regarding one of the players involved.

Enjoy the match!

Jude Ellery can also be found at the unique and interesting Football Farrago.

These are the people who know what is best for everyone else and will seek any means within their growing sphere of power to insure that the masses all live life according to their doctrine:  that the pursuit of pleasure purely for its own sake is bad.

Not so happy meals

In San Francisco, the Fun Police have stepped in to outlaw toys in McDonald’s Happy Meals, to combat child obesity.  While that may be a laudable goal, it’s not as if Mickey Dee’s is selling their artery clogging burgers directly to independently wealthy kindergarteners, who roll up to the drive thru on tricked out tricycles.  This is not the insidious tobacco company enticing the teenager.  There is already a form of law enforcement in place to regulate a child’s diet, otherwise known as the parent.  If said parents choose to stuff their whining little anklebiters full of heart attack inducing grease and by-product for the sake of a plastic bauble and a moment’s peace, so be it.  Natural selection will sort it all out later.

In England, the dreaded FP have deputised all available Italian football managers to carry out their agenda.  First Roberto Mancini and now Fabio Capello have come out against the time-honoured institution aka the pub crawl.

Last year, Harry Redknapp tried to play Scrooge, with the result that most of his squad snuck out of the country to enjoy a little Christmas party, the manager fearing the consequences that excessive drinking might have on the club’s congested holiday fixture list.  As it happened, Spurs managed to qualify for a Champions League spot, perhaps aided by the camaraderie that such outings can engender.

This year, Mancini and Capello are concerned by the hijinks of Adam Johnson, Joe Hart and Gareth Barry, who after a celebratory binge, ended up crashing at a student dorm.  Apart from some crushing headaches in the morning , no harm was done.  No fights, no illegal prostitution, not even any cow tipping.  Just some harmless fun.

Capello laments the intrusion of cell phone cameras and social networking, which invade privacy and draw unwanted publicity to the clubs and the FA, and the fact that excessive drinking can shorten a player’s career.   Translation:  money is being lost.  Sadly, it seems English football is going down the same drab path as the American game, where everything is about image, success is measured in dollars and the league seeks to control every aspect of its players lives.

Well, lest those gentleman in the Premier League and FA boardrooms forget, football is entertainment.  It is a childs’game played by young men, who, like the vast majority of their audience, are vainly struggling to hold onto the last vestiges of childhood.  In other words, none of us want to grow up completely and you can’t make us.

So, demand responsibility, while making sure it’s understood that boozing should be done in moderation and is not an excuse for boorish or criminal behaviour (that means you Andy Carroll).  But when a bunch of lads go out for a few pints, sing a few songs and show the maturity to find a quiet place to sleep it off, put the naysayers in their place, if they get on their moralistic high horses.

Simply remind them that there’s no law against having a harmless bit of fun, nor should there be.  In that context, boys should be allowed to be boys.

Arjen does his best impression of Homer Simpson, ignoring Mila Jovovic and Katy Perry in favour of what's really attractive. Ahhhhhh, Beeer!

In Germany, Bayern have learned the immediate ramifications for falling into the bottom half of the Bundesliga table, 13 points off the perfect pace of Mainz.  As punishment for their woeful start, the defending champs will miss out on their traditional Oktoberfest visit and instead endure double training sessions, over the international break.  That ought to motivate Arjen Robben, at least, who is a famous lover of the mead.

Bert van Marwijk surprised many fans, not just in the Netherlands and England, but everywhere else, when he left Nigel de Jong off his Euro qualifying roster, this week.  The leader of the Dutch band of guerilla fighters, which couldn’t hold off Spain in the World Cup Final, apparently has his limits and, having seen replays of de Jong’s legbuster on Hatem Ben Arfa, decided he’d reached his.  Saying that the midfielder had “left him no option,” he made the surprising decision to drop him and then issued the following explanation:

It is unfortunate, especially since he does not need to do it. The funny thing is that the referee did not even show a yellow card for it. Apparently, there are other standards. But I have a problem with the way Nigel needlessly looks to push the limit. I am going to speak to him. – Bert van Marwijk, on Nigel deJong making rash tackles while not playing for the national team.

The most surprising detail to emerge from the incident, however, is the lack of expected outrage from Arsene Wenger.  Perhaps, he was distracted by events at Stamford Bridge.

In Scotland, Jim Hughes stepped down as Hibernian manager, after a disastrous start to the campaign.  At Leicester City, word is that the entire board of directors is running interference to keep the news from Sven-Goran Ericksson, who has developed a penchant for snapping up the next available job, even though he just took the last one, not that long ago.  As the Foxes sweat it out, peals of laughter can be heard from Riyadh, Abidjan and Notts County.

One of the new rules, which Goodluck was trying to foist on the national team, was that, even during games, everyone must wear a big hat with a brim.

Also, in the news, Goodluck Jonathan has found that his name affords him no exemption from the wrath of Sepp Blatter and FIFA.  Fed up with the Nigerian government’s interference with the NFF, Blatter has put his foot down and suspended Nigeria from participating in or receiving support from any FIFA or CAF programmes.  Rumour has it that Nigerian president Jonathan remains undeterred in his plans to reshape the national football program.  Despite the possibility of being disqualified from the African Cup of Nations, Goodluck has hatched a Plan B.  As a fallback, he has opened the treasury to pay off a high ranking official, said to be willing to arrange a friendly against the Togo national team.

As Nigeria looks for a game, the WFC gang is here to catch you up on all the best of those which took place over the weekend.

Andrew Gibney

Andrew Gibney

Scottish Premier League

Hearts 1 – 2 Rangers

Naismith steps up again.

Rangers made it seven wins from seven, although they were made to work for it.  Returning Hearts favorite, Rudi Skacel, put the home side one up, after only 12 minutes.  Controlling Kevin Kyle’s flick, the Czech midfielder shrugged off two challenges to bundle the ball past Allan McGregor. Only ten minutes remained when Kyle Lafferty’s low-struck free kick caught out Hearts keeper Marian Kello and squeezed inside the post. Kello redeemed himself with two world class saves, to keep the score at 1-1. Five minutes of injury times were announced and for the second time this season Rangers took advantage.  James Naismith, with a darting run, linked well with Lafferty and Kello couldn’t stop his shot.  The champions again left it late but claimed all three points.

St. Johnstone 2 – o Hibernian

Under Hughes, Hibs were out of the picture.

It is never nice to see someone out of a job.  However, as predicted, defeat for Hibs meant the end of John Hughes’reign at Easter Road, leaving the role by “mutual” consent. It was an inevitable move after another poor performance from the Edinburgh club.   St. Johnstone were the much better team, peppering the Hibs box with crosses and knowing it was eventually going to pay off. Danny Grainger whipped in his cross and substitute Liam Craig angled the header past Mark Brown and into the net. While not the best of game,  the score remained the same until injury time.  Finally, substitute Marcus Haber took advantage of a Hibs’lapse in defence and ran through on goal, making no mistake in sealing Hibs’and John Hughes’fate.

Chris Mann

Chris Mann

Southampton 2 – 0 Bournemouth, League One

It wasn’t a classic derby by any stretch of the imagination but Nigel Adkins’team ran out winners, with a brace of penalties from Rickie Lambert, as Southampton stretched their unbeaten run to four games. This was a blow to the progress of Eddie Howe’s Bournemouth, who had begun their first season back in the third tier in impressive fashion.  With a tricky run of games coming up, the Cherries will need to keep improving, if they are to maintain their lofty league position.

Real Madrid 6-1 Deportivo La Coruna, La Liga

Real Madrid were always the favourites to beat a Deportivo team firmly locked in the grip of an on-field crisis but the way in which Los Blancos achieved the result was emphatic and eased the modicum of pressure that had begun to build up around Jose Mourinho. There were goals from Cristiano Ronaldo (2), Angel Di Maria, Gonzalo Higuain, Mesut Ozil and an own goal from Ze Castro, as the home side eased to an impressive victory.  The style in which they did so impressed the Bernabeu crowd, which had been initially sceptical of ‘the Mourinho way.’ This could be the result that launches Madrid’s season.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qijWG6O6A1o

Fabricio Presilli

Fab Presilli

Brasileiro Campeonato

Cruzeiro 0 – 0 Atletico Paranaense

Saturday was unispiring, in Brazil, as most of the games were draws. Cruzeiro and Atético Paranaense remained in the zeros.  The big news from this game was coach Paulo Cesar Carpegiani, who had been doing a great job in Atlético, putting them in a position to reach the top 3. Yesterday, he accepted an offer from struggling giants São Paulo and left Atlético.  There is no word on a permanent replacement, as yet.  Meanwhile, Cruzeiro’s steady run has put them third in the table and they should remain a contender until the end.

Botafogo 1 -1 Flamengo

Again, the biggest event occurred off the pitch, as Zico was forced to surrender, Friday, resigning as managing director of his beloved Flamengo. He was taking heat from all quarters, with many accusations of wrongdoing, which I firmly don’t believe. Now Flamengo have also sacked Silas and hired Wanderley Luxemburgo, in a desperate attempt to surge back from near the relegation zone.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXMJkKTs39k

Argentina Apertura

San Lorenzo 0 – 1 Estudiantes

Estudiantes won away at San Lorenzo, to open a confortable 5 point lead in the Apertura. With Boca and River out of the picture, this one seems already in the bag for Juan Sebastian Veron’s team.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIYNzjctajU

Geoff Edwards

Geoff Edwards

Borussia Dortmund 2 – 0 Bayern Munich, Bundesliga

Karl-Heinz Rummenigge is not happy.

It was a case of ‘more of the same’for Bayern at the Westfalenstadion. The Bavarians dominated possession, missed several gilt-edged chances, and then shot themselves in the foot defensively, first gifting a goal to Lucas Barrios, then giving away a soft free-kick, which Nuri Sahin, my player of the season so far, dispatched into the top corner.

Bayern now lie 13 points off top spot, seemingly making a mockery of those (not me, honest) who predicted them to win the title at a canter. Meanwhile, the big yellow machine marches on, showing they have what it takes to make a serious title challenge. With 8 players under the age of 22, surely this team is only going to get better.

Martin Palazzotto

Martin Palazzotto

The MLS Weekend

The Red Bulls took care of business in the Eastern Conference, their 1-0 home victory over the Kansas City Wizards guaranteeing them a place in the playoffs, come month’s end.  Dane Richards, for the second week running, struck early and, Despite wasting a number of chances, were kept in the match by the athleticism of their adventurous keeper, Bouna Coundoul.  At Crew Stadium, Columbus was unable to keep pace, stumbling to a listless nil-nil draw with the San Jose Earthquakes, very much down to the profligacy of forward Steven Lenhart.

In the west, both FC Dallas and champions Real Salt Lake put pressure on the LA Galaxy, ahead of that club’s Super Clasico confrontation with Chivas USA.  The Hoops doused the Chicago Fire, 3-0, with Jeff Cunningham’s penalty giving him shared billing with Jaime Moreno as the all time MLS goal scorer.  RSL traveled cross-country to put down the new England Revolution 2-1.

On Sunday evening, the Galaxy answered the challenges of RSL and FC Dallas.  They came roaring out of the gate, in the Super Clasico, putting up two first half goals against Chivas USA.  Edson Buddle struck for his league leading 15th, first, and then from a free kick, it was none other than David Beckham, with a sharply struck bender that found the top corner.

In the second 45, Chivas were much more into the match and, luckily for them, the linesman were suddenly out of it.  Alan Gordon’s header was allowed to stand, despite the forward being visibly offside, and two earlier phantom calls having nullified Galaxy chances.  The Galaxy would hold on despite sub Eddie Lewis seeing a very dubious red card for stomping Rodolfo Espinoza.  In fact, Lewis had leapt into the air, to avoid Espinoza’s studs up tackle, and landed on him as he slid under.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9juJk-y_g8

Mexican Apertura

South of the border, two of the three clubs fighting for one playoff position in Group 2 were faced with daunting tasks in Mexico City.  Toluca was in town to face Group 1 contenders Santos Laguna.  Club America, whose home ground is the Azteca, journeyed cross town to face Group 3 and overall leaders Cruz Azul.  Neither side found much joy on the day, Toluca going down 2-0 and America finishing on the wrong end of a 1-0 result.

That meant that San Luis, who had defeated Tigres, on Saturday, on Othoniel Arce’s header just after the restart, have leapfrogged from 3rd to 1st in the group and now control their own destiny in the chase for a berth in the Apertura championship.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfZusPUk9bM

Serie A

Inter 0 – 0 Juventus

Despite seats remaining empty at most venues, the quality of play in the Serie A has been ratcheted up, this season.  Goals have been coming from all sides.  So, much was expected from the Derby d’Italia p.1, at the Giuseppe Meazza.  Both sides did go for the win, throughout the match but it still ended in a more traditionally scoreless draw.

Instead it turned out to be the other Milan club and Andrea Pirlo who provided the electricity for Calcio fans this season.  As the announcer in our clip points out, Pirlo went goalless in the last campaign but this strike harkened back to days gone by, when this was just the type of magic you’d expect from the tiny wizard.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2owLbB7nA

Tapesh Patel

Tapesh Patel

Chelsea 2-0 Arsenal, Premier League

Arsenal put in a good shift at Stamford Bridge and, while they may have strengthened this summer, on this evidence they still need another dimension to contend for the title. New signings Marouane Chamakh, Laurent Koscielny and Sebastien Squillaci displayed the same weakness (literally) that has plagued the Gunners in recent years.

Squillaci was unable to prevent the first strike, as Didier Drogba combined strength with finesse, to reach and deftly finish an Ashley Cole cross.  That’s 13 goals in 13 games for the Ivorian, against the Gunners.  No-one could have stop the second goal, though, as defender Alex thumped home a curling free-kick from 25 yards. Chelsea’s campaign is going ominously well, and the engine of this team, Ramires and Michael Essien, were perfectly tuned in this match.

West Bromwich Albion 1 – 1 Bolton, Premier League

In the contest between in-form strikers Johan Elmander and Peter Odemwingie, the Swede made the first impact upon the match, latching onto a volleyed pass from Kevin Davies to guide the ball home. Player Of The Month Odemwingie also made his mark, however.  It was his cross that found the head of James Morrison for the equaliser. Both sides will be happy with the point, sitting together safely in mid-table at this point. Only 3 points separate 4th from 14th, though, so neither can get too comfortable.

Preston 1 – 1 Reading, The Championship

Preston took a valuable point from this match, which has taken them out of the relegation zone after a torrid start to the season. In an even match at Deepdale, the Lilywhites took the lead after good work from Iain Hume allowed Keith Treacy to convert. Jem Karacan levelled just after half-time, smashing in a half-volley from 25 yards.

St. Etienne 1 – 1 Marseille, Ligue 1

At first, it appeared that Dmitri Payet’s luck had finally come to an end, as his attempted clearance cannoned off the referee, leading to an easy finish for Andre-Pierre Gignac, his first for Marseille. However, there is a reason that the in-form winger has been called up to the French national squad, along with colleague Blaise Matuid. The two combined for the equaliser, eventually setting up veteran midfielder Laurent Batlles.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOnDHGfNnKg

Les Verts later dropped into second in Ligue 1, after Rennes beat Toulouse on Sunday, but seven points in the last three matches, against Lyon, OM and Toulouse, is an impressive return.

>>

Before we go, we’d like to offer a hearty congratulations to 33 year old Kevin Davies on receiving his first call up for England.  With Fabio Capello’s strike force severely depleted through injury and the in form Emile Heskey not feeling very masochistic, these days, the England manager has turned to the Bolton veteran.  Word is that Capello was impressed by some scout footage of Davies and teammate Lee Chung Yong, showing off their moves.  When it was explained that Yong was already capped for South Korea, the Italian reluctantly settled on Davies, noting that he was, at least, “in surprisingly healthy condition for his age.”

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY1lAQeAcEU

Seriously though, here’s hoping the duty, which is likely to be a one off, results in a cap for the long serving Trotter.

Unfortunately that happy story was quickly shouldered aside and no surprise when the News of the World and Sunday Mirror continue to disgrace our presence.  It really is none of our business what footballers or any other celebrities do in their spare time or with whom they do it.  Like as not, the fish wraps had just as much proof (see nada) in making these allegations as they did in the Bridge/Perroncel/Terry case.

Kudos to Milner for standing behind his mate.

Wayne Rooney hasn’t made a statement on the matter yet but the rest of the media has jumped on board, speculating on such ridiculous things as his World Cup form suffering because he was afraid this story was about to break.  If that’s the case, he must have confided in his teammates because their performances were every bit as abysmal as his.  At this point it won’t really matter what, if anything, the United star has to say.  The majority of the public is only too willing to give credibility to a young woman whose only prospects in life are her equally loose morals and tongue.

What we need is the Beeb, or some other reasonably ethical news source, to follow NOTW and Mirror employees around surreptitiously, dig up their pasts and expose all their peccadilloes.  Unfortunately, even their own houses were exposed as being constructed of glass, they’d probably continue throwing stones.  Anything for a few bob in the pocket.

Fortunately, my parakeets have just finished eating a pound or so of seed and I can shove these sorry excuses for newspapers where they belong, at the bottom of the cage, shit to catch shit, and get on to the weekend highlights.

Enjoy!

Geoff did say he was growing a beard ahead of this trip.

Geoff Edwards (Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?)

Geoff is still on holiday and he will be sorry to have missed:

Belgium 0 – 1 Germany

Once again, it was Klose but Germany pulled out a 1-0 victory over  Georges Leekens’Belgians.   The home side was very frisky early on but could not find a way past Manuel Neuer.  They would regret that, as the three headed World Cup monster of Lukas Podolski, Thomas Müller and Miroslav Klose began to attack the Rote Teufel goal.  Six minutes into the restart, an inattentive Vincent Kompany was dispossessed on the edge of the box.  The loose ball caromed directly to Müller, who quickly found Klose, alone with the space, time and precision to find the corner of goal.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eum_lEcEZKM

Germany continued their half century mastery over Belgium but Leekens can take heart in the overall play of his squad.

Tapesh Patel

Tapesh Patel

France 0-1 Belarus

A French pundit called this result “la douche froide” (a cold shower) and France certainly received a rude awakening from a very average Belarus side. There were many positives – Florent Malouda sparkled as captain, while Yann M’Vila again belied his tender years – but ultimately Belarus seized upon France’s profligacy in front of goal. Midfielder Sergey Kisliak horrified Les Bleus with an 86th minute winner, and France have now lost four in a row, their worst run since 1937.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxuMnOUJ8xA

Lithuania 0-0 Scotland

When previewing this match, I called it a tight six-pointer and that’s exactly how it panned out. Scotland undoubtedly had the better of the game, but did not have the tools to unlock their opponents, who frequently disrupted the Scottish rhythm with some tough tackling. This was a missed opportunity for Scotland, and only a win will now do against Liechtenstein on Tuesday.

Editor’s note:  So, we were thinking… Why post some drab highlights from a nil-nil snorefest(?) when there was a more entertaining international taking place nearby that we thought you might like to see!  The camera-man’s work isn’t the best and neither is his English but it’s good fun nonetheless.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBIZ_A8H7c8

Chris Mann

Chris Mann

Avi Goldberg

Avi Goldberg

San Marino 0 – 5  The Netherlands

Bert Van Marwijk waited to release the names of the starting 11 until the game is about to start.   Opting for a consistent formation, he hasn’t changed much, even though he could have played a more aggressive shape against  a lightwieight side.  Johny Heitinga, suspended for his red card v Spain, was replaced in the heart of defence by Hedwiges Maduro.  First half difficulties made it obvious that the Oranje had used up a lot of emotional energy, being in a long and ultimately fruitless chase of the World Cup. A little time was needed to get back together on the pitch and start again.

Minutes after a goal was ruled offside, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar was brought down in the box and Dirk Kuyt converted the penalty. On the 26th minute, however,  there came a scary moment for keeper Maarten Stekelenburg.  Andy Selva shot from afar and almost caught him off guard. That brought the focus back to the side, though, and a quickly taken free kick from Wesley Sneijder gave the opportunity for Kuyt to cross for Huntelaar to tap in 2-0.

Not a phenomenal first half but the second introduced more creativity in the field, when Rafael van der Vaart put Huntelaar to his second and third for the night. The moment of return then came, as Kuyt made way for Ruud Van Nistelrooy.  Van ‘The Man’couldn’t be happier, after scoring a nice volley in extra time, to make it a final 5-0.

Okay, it was against a much weaker team but the Oranje got their first 3 points and will look to continue with the same solid and successful formation against their next opponent, Finland.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEqb84OUG7M

Martin Palazzotto

Martin Palazzotto

Major League Soccer

The swing match in the weekend spate took place at Rio Tinto Stadium, in Salt Lake.  The Red Bulls came to town without defender Rafa Marquez, who was captaining Mexico to a loss against Ecuador, and were completely disorganised in the first half.  Fabio Espindola’s strike, for Real, should have been one of many but the home side didn’t take their chances.  New York found their shape in the second 45 but not an equaliser.

With the LA Galaxy managing a draw in Chicago and the Columbus Crew taking care of business, with a 0-1 victory at cellar dwelling DC United, the Western Conference became much tighter, while the gap in the East widened.

Salt Lake, the MLS Cup holders, are now positioned to snatch the Supporter’s Shield, for best overall record.  The Galaxy have been bleeding points since their upset loss to Puerto Rico Islanders, in the CONCACAF Champions League qualifiers.  David Beckham’s rumoured return can’t come soon enough for manager Bruce Arena.

That Chicago managed only a draw against the fallen Angelinos doesn’t bode well for thir fading playoff hopes.  They do still have 2 games in hand on the field but will have to take maximum points from them to be a factor at season’s end.  meanwhile, watch out for FC Dallas coming out of the west.  Despite sitting 5th in the table they have gotten results out of more games than any other side, thus far, having lost just twice.

Real Salt Lake v NY Red Bulls

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te29oncHmZs

..

Chicago Fire v LA Galaxy

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fZIViCiHB8

Mexican Apertura

Chivas de Guadalajara 3 – 0  UAG Tecos

The Goats are definitely baa-a-aa-ack!  Before a packed Estadio OmniLife. in Guadalajara, Chivas put the horns to derby rivals Tecos.  Having spent the early part of the Apertura season more concerned with chasing the Copa Libertadores in South America, Jose Luis Real’s squad knew they had work to do, if they are to figure in the first half of the split season.  They quickly got down to business, showing the difference between themselves and last place Tecos.

On 37 minutes, midfielder Marco Fabian connected with a perfect long distance backdoor cross to Omar Bravo, who headed the Goats into the lead.  In the second half, the skies opened up and so did Chivas.  After seeing several chances denied by Tecos keeper, Mario Rodriguez, Ricardo Vasquez Gallien finally found a way past him to double the lead.  The skies would clear but Chivas continued to rain shots on Rodriguez.  At the death, Marco Fabian would cap off the scoring, after a mad scramble around the Tecos box.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMN5NsIuaA0

Argentine Apertura

Velez Sarsfield 2 – 1 River Plate

Faced with a herculean task, needing to defeat city rivals River Plate, to both leapfrog them and keep pace with cheeky Arsenal de Sarandi, Velez Sarsfield made full use of their home pitch advantage to earn a hard fought victory.  Juan Manuel Martinez opened the scoring for Velez, just after the half hour but Diego Buonanotte pegged the home side back just before time.  It was a rough match all around, with both sides earning 4 cautions.  Santiago Silva’s penalty conversion, in the 58th minute put El Fortin on top once more but they had to circle the wagons when Leandro Somoza was sent off with almost 20 minutes remaining.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3OL4do6e6E

Eliot Rothwell

Eliot Rothwell

Montenegro 1 – 0 Wales

It’s fair to say Wales will be disappointed with this result. Montenegro ran out winners from a Mirko Vucinic goal that was celebrated emphatically by his countrymen.  John Toshack’s side never really looked threatening going forward and lacked a creative outlet in midfield, to assist the attacking players.

Wales will need to improve to have any hope of qualifying.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltf-MgJqny4

Editor’s note:  According to reports, John Toshack has decided to throw in the towel.  In two years, he’s been unable to make any progress with the squad and apparently alienated the most talented of his players.  As his decision caught the FAW by surprise, there is no successor in the frame and Toshack has agreed to stay on until one is found.

England 4 – 0 Bulgaria

A great win and a good performance. Not spectacular but good. This doesn’t makes England world beaters but certainly shows that the players were capable of achieving more at the World Cup.  Hopefully,as a result, certain facets of the press may now take a step back from their mindless Capello baiting.

Jermaine Defoe looked lively upfront and England reaped the rewards of some tidy finishing. There are still question marks to be solved for England, the largest of those being the bumbling Glen Johnson who, apart from having superb physical attributes, has an astounding lack of technique, tactical awareness and positioning. Onwards we go.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSwm_NginjA

Slovenia 0 – 1 Northern Ireland

A 1-0, backs against the wall, away win. It can only be Northern Ireland. Nigel Worthington’s men overcame the lacklustre Slovenian’s through a combination of smart tactics and fighting spirit. The younger of the Evans brothers, Corey, netted the winning goal in a game that saw Northern Ireland illustrate that they may be a force to be reckoned with.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCz7ZtTwuFw

Kris Dwyer

The Oz Files with Kris Dwyer

Socceroos 0 – 0 Switzerland

Well that was dour wasn’t it? A nil-all draw, but good signs, as Australia moved away from the dredge of a 1 man strike force, something we’ve been succumbing to for years, under Dutch management.

Scott Macdonald has a lot to answer for, having missed many gilt-edged chances.  However, Helger Osieck has defended the striker, claiming he admired his work rate.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFmCFU50deg

Perth Glory 2 – 1 Wellington Phoenix

This game was always gonna be big, and the crowd of the round showed up in force in Western Australia with 10,844 fans filing into nib Stadium.  The game got off with a masterpiece of brilliance, Robbie Fowler turning and placing a lobbed through-pass onto the boot of Todd Howarth, from the centre of the park.  Howarth then crossed it straight to Mile Sterjovski, for a tap-in in front of the adoring ‘shed,’after just six minutes  The Glory were then denied a second by the referee who incorrectly called Sterjovski offside, and both sides went into the break, with the Glory 1-0 up.

On the restart, the Glory again came out fired up.  This time, Mile Sterjovski proved to be provider for marquee man Robbie Fowler, who headed it graciously into the net for his second Perth Glory goal and first in front of a home crowd.  There was a late rush home by Wellington Phoenix, however.  In the 76th minute, Ben Sigmund rose above the Glory defence, to nod home past Velaphi, but the Glory ran out winners in an end to the game that left fans on the edge of their seat.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_MV0f81sxc

Interviewed during the break, former Glory player and fan favourite Eugene Dadi provided a moment of hilarity.  ”Well I’m waiting for a contract and it’s Fathers Day.  Dadi is here!” quipped the 37 year old Ivorian.   Comical Brilliance.

Melbourne Heart 1 – 0 North Queensland Fury

Not much to say about this one, other than the stock of Nick Kalmar continues to rise. His meteoric ascent from the second tier VPL has been one of the stories of the year, with the young player already off the mark, with two goals.  Kalmar’s well timed header, in the first half, was enough for the Heart to secure their first win of the season and they jump up into sixth place with 5 points.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnMXBh7HVqM

Once again, we’ve been happy to put the World in World Football Columns.  Just in case you haven’t had enough video, we’ll leave you with a clip from the Glory Shed in Perth, where the home supporters welcome their Kiwi visitors with a short verse.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnYkfCftNwc

It’s not very cultured but, last I checked, the Opera House was in Sydney, not Perth.

See you on Friday!

This week, that means the first spate of qualifiers for Euro 2012, as well as plenty of fixtures in Australia, Argentina, Brazil, and the US.  If you didn’t catch our big Euro preview midweek, it’s right here.  The upcoming matches aren’t all that has fans of the European game abuzz this week, though.  The transfer market has closed, although not without a flurry of last minute business.

Now that Alex has this transfer thingy down, maybe he can find a decent barber.

If you see a smiling Harry Redknapp walking about London, during the break, don’t ask him for an autograph.  His hands are still swollen from a last desperate grab, just as the transfer window slammed shut.  His grin is genuine,  though, because coming away with Real Madrid’s surplus midfield magician, Rafael van der Vaart, for Tottenham, was certainly worth the pain.

In Birmingham, Alex McLeish has no need of painkillers.  His timing was much better than Redknapp’s, as he landed Barca benchwarmer, Alex Hleb, Chilean World Cup winger Jean Beausejour and the towering Spartak Moscow centre back, Martin Jiranek, all earlier on deadline day,.  With the trio joining the likes of Matt Derbyshire and Ben Foster as newcomers to City, the Blues are looking good to improve on their ninth place finish, last term.  Now chairman, Peter Pannu is on the hook to sign the Scot to a new deal, after having made some unflattering remarks regarding his ability.

Most players only do this after scoring a goal; For Robinho, this is his reaction to everything.

While McLeish and Redknapp were adding to David Cameron’s headaches over immigration, Man City provided some relief for the Tory PM, shipping the red tagged Brazilian, Robinho, to AC Milan, at well over a 50% discount on his £32M purchase price of two years ago.  Although Silvio Berlusconi will need to find some spare change hidden under his mistress, sorry, mattress to exercise the option to purchase Zlatan Ibrahimovic from Barcelona, for €24M in one year’s time, the suddenly economically minded Italian president at least broke even on the Robinho deal, by sending Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to Schalke 04 for €13M.  With the aging squad he has, if the lecherous Berlusconi can keep getting these kinds of players through the door without cracking open his wallet, maybe he does deserve to continue running the entire country for a while longer.

Back in England, all twenty Premier League clubs submitted their 2010 rosters on Wednesday.  Despite all the kerfluffle, no one seemed to have much trouble complying with the Homegrown Rule.  Many clubs simply named less than the maximum 25 non-homegrown players to their squad and supplemented those they did with a bevy of youngsters.  In fact, Arsene Wenger, who is known the world over as a despiser of the rule, got in one last dig, by naming just a 20 man roster, accompanied by a whopping 56 under-21′s.

Oh, and we almost forgot.  Mikel Arteta won’t be playing for England.  The FIFA archivists, working long into the night in their Zurich vaults, uncovered an obscure rule which prevents the Everton midfielder from featuring for the Three Lions.  Apparently, since he played for Spain as a wet-behind-the-ears teenager, without holding a UK passport at the time, it won’t matter if he obtains one now.  That’ll teach us to write a feature article on the subject.

Not a person to be reasoned with.

The  international matches, all scheduled on Friday, make for an early weekend in Europe,  but Monday is the Labour Day holiday in North America.  For MLS fans, that’s not a reason to celebrate.  To them, the holiday is like some horribly mutated version of Groundhogs Day.  The difference, in this case, is that instead of a cute little bucktoothed rodent popping out of a hole, hoping to avoid its own shadow, a pair of terrifyingly large and hideous monsters, known as the NFL and NCAA football emerge from their lairs and stomp on anyone not wearing a football jersey decorated with large numbers on both sides.

Outsized and outnumbered, MLS will soldier on with a full slate of fixtures this weekend.  Mexico, however, features just a single match on its calendar.  Experts believe this has direct relation to the fact that most US Border Patrol agents are massive grid-iron fans, who would never miss opening day.

In the southern half of the Americas, Corinthians legend Roberto Carlos can rest easier tonight.  After years of study, French physicists have confirmed that the incredible bend that the former galactico put on his infamous 1997 free kick against their home side, was indeed no fluke and that the Brazilian deserves every accolade for greatness he receives.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crSkWaJqx-Y

It’s one thing for a planet full of pubcrawlers to argue that you’re the most amazing left back of all time but it’s another when science is on your side.  Forget string theory and quantum mechanics, this is research grant money well spent.

Now to what’s on tap this weekend.  The WFC gang is back to serve it up but you’ll have to supply your own pretzels.

That mad Baggins is off again...

From the desk of the vacationing Geoff Edwards

Belgium v Germany, Euro ’12 Group A

Given that many of the day’s headline matches are of the killer whale versus minnow variety, this tilt stands out at first glance.  Unfortunately, Geoff notes that Die Mannschaft haven’t lost to the Belgians since 1954, which, and I don’t get to say this often enough anymore, is before I was born.  In that match, the Rote Teufel (think ManU or AC Milan) caught the Germans with a major hangover, it being the champions’first game after winning their initial World Cup.  Thomas Vermaelen wears the armband for the hosts, while Philip Lahm, now officially caretaking for Michael Ballack, leads out the visitors.  As well, Manuel Neuer’s stellar turn in South Africa has earned him the Nr. Ein for Germany.

Chris Mann

Chris Mann

Liechtenstein v Spain Euro ’12 Group I

Undoubtedly the biggest mismatch of the week, newly-crowned world champions Spain will travel to Liechtenstein (population 34,761) on Friday, where they will face a country ranked an incredible 140 places below them in the FIFA rankings. Vicente Del Bosque has named a full-strength team despite the lowly nature of Spain’s opposition and it would hardly be surprising if David Villa, Fernando Torres and friends racked up a double-figure margin of victory at the Rheinpark Stadion.

Estonia v Italy Euro ’12 Group C

The Cesare Prandelli era begins in earnest tomorrow evening, as the Azzurri take on Estonia at the Lillekula Stadium in Tallinn. If a new-look Italian side can gel from the off, led out by redemption minded Daniel De Rossi and Giorgio Chiellini, then Prandelli’s men shouldn’t have a problem with their Baltic opponents, but Estonia – ranked 94th in the world – should not be underestimated. Players such as Tarmo Kink and Andres Oper are more than capable of punishing the Italians should they lose concentration. It should be an straightforward victory for the Azzurri but, as we saw so clearly in South Africa, Italy can be prone to self-destruction.

Eliot Rothwell

Eliot Rothwell

Slovenia v Northern Ireland Euro ’12 Group C

The Slovenians, under Matjez Kek, have made real progress, of late. A play-off victory over Russia cemented their rise to the top table of global football and rocketed them up 60 (yes, 60!) places in the FIFA rankings, all the way to 19th.  The rangy figure of striker Mile Novakovic may cause the likes of Jonny Evans problems, as the slippery Köln striker looks to evade the clutches of his markers.

Meanwhile, Northern Ireland have a problem. They never seem able to get out of a group situation. Even in their last World Cup qualifying group, they were pipped by Slovakia and (you’ve guessed it) Slovenia. Manager Nigel Worthington will no doubt be scratching his silver mane trying to fathom how his side can conquer the likes of England and Spain, yet fail dismally against weaker teams. The Northern Irish cause should be aided by long-time saviour David Healy who, reminiscent of Lukas Podolski, remains out-of-form with his club side, while invariably turning up in spades for his country.

When not whipping Wales into shape, Toshack sings lead on PS Guitar Hero.

Montenegro v Wales Euro ’12 Group G

Recently established on the international stage themselves, Montenegro, host John Toshack’s Wales, in what could be a contender for match of the week.  The Welsh posses an in-form Gareth Bale, lightning quick and blessed with a traction engine in his left boot.  Montenegro, meanwhile are blessed with two goofy-footed technicians of their own. AS Roma’s Mirko Vucinic and Stevan Jovetic, of Anfield goalscoring fame, are more than a match for the weary defence of James Collins and Danny Gabbidon.

With both sides blessed with attacking menace and cursed with frail defences, the highlight reel should be lengthy.

England v Bulgaria Euro ’12 Group G

With the retirement of talisman Dimitar Berbatov, Bulgaria have adopted a 4-2-3-1 in recent matches, with the clear aim of controlling the ball for as long as possible. Martin and Stilian Petrov, in the midfield, should provide the Bulgarians with some creative spark against the too often lacklustre English.

With the English press heavily criticising Fabio Capello of late, the knives will be out should England not win this game and comfortably. Unfortunately for Capello, his side are suffering from any number of injury problems, most notably missing first choice centre-backs John Terry and Rio Ferdinand, as well as rangy impact sub Peter Crouch. This leaves the Italian the tough choice of relying on his out of favour World Cup squad or blooding unproven youngsters in a game that actually matters.

England have often struggled against possession minded sides and whilst they may run out eventual winners, I predict it to be a frustrating one, with the Bulgarians combining technique and tactics to stifle Englands attackers.

Tapesh Patel

Tapesh Patel

France v Belarus Euro ’12 Group D

While this match ushers in a new era for the French, Laurent Blanc probably still doesn’t know his best eleven.  We can therefore expect wholesale changes from the World Cup team.  Philippe Mexes will likely team up with Adil Rami in defence and Loic Rémy with Guillaume Hoarau in attack. The formation Blanc will play is also a complete mystery; the 4-4-2 diamond deployed against Norway will probably change to a straight 4-4-2 or a 4-3-3, due to the lack of an attacking playmaker (with Samir Nasri, Franck Ribery and Yoann Gourcuff all ruled out). The diamond in the rough is undoubtedly Florent Malouda, who has arguably been the best player in the Premiership so far this season.

Belarus will look to spring a shock on France if the hosts start slowly, but it may prove a difficult task, as key winger Aliaksandr Hleb has hardly played since April.  To be honest, though, I wouldn’t like to predict how this will pan out.

Lithuania v Scotland Euro ’12 Group I

Lithuania are still seen as minnows but Scotland will undoubtedly know the threat of their opposition, with many of the home side being current or former practitioners in the Scottish Premier League. Aberdeen’s Andruis Velicka leads the line for the hosts, while former Hearts man Saulius Mykoliunas is sure to get a hot reception, after being banned for play-acting the last time both sides met.  Eight changes have been made by Craig Levein for the match. The most notable are the omission of James McFadden and the inclusion of 40-year-old David Weir, who will become the oldest player ever to have donned the Tartan Blue.

This match will undoubtedly be a tight one, with both sides seeing the match as a proverbial six-pointer.

Avi Goldberg

Avi Goldberg

San Marino v The Netherlands

For their first qualification game, Netherlands coach Bert Van Marwijk must like the thought of San Marino.  The Oranje can afford to play more attacking football but the question is will coach Van Marwijk change the formation and test the new boys, midfielders Hedwiges Maduro, Theo Janssen and the ‘old’come back of Ruud Van Nistelrooy? The coach has not given any hints whatsoever on the details of the line up but one thing is sure, the fans are expecting a lot of goals.  Playing with a 3 man defence will definitely increase their chances for a nice goal fest.

Martin Palazzotto

Martin Palazzotto

Major League Soccer

As the season hits the stretch run, with most clubs having played 22 of their 34 matches, the top clubs in both conferences are feeling some pressure.  In the east, Columbus are clinging to a four point lead over the hard charging NY Red Bulls.  The Crew are in the capital, hoping to take 3 points from lowly DC United, while Thierry Henry and Rafa Marquez face a strong challenge out west, in Rio Tinto Stadium, versus holders Real Salt Lake.

Real are trying to reel in the west leading Galaxy, who have cooled of late, and would like to take more than a draw from a home match, no matter the opponent.  At the same time, they must look over their shoulders, as FC Dallas have risen out of the midden heap and are breathing down their necks.

LA are in Chicago to face a Fire side that, with the addition of Freddie Ljungberg, has rediscovered its spark.  Fully 13 points behind the 2nd place Red Bulls, with two clubs to climb over before they can even consider the New Yorkers, the Fire have a great deal of work to do.  The good news is that, through some scheduling quirks, they have 3 matches in hand on the rest of the field.  They need to make every one of those count, however.

The Mexican Apertura

If you absolutely, positively can’t do without some Mexican football this weekend, you’ll have to settle for the Guadalajara derby; it’s the only show in town. Chivas and Tecos are propping up the Group 1 table, so if it weren’t for the local rivalry, you might not think much of the prospects for entertainment.  On the other hand, Chivas haven’t really been taking the Apertura seriously, chasing, as they were, after the Copa Libertadores.  Having come up just short in that pursuit, the Goats can fully focus on butting heads with their neighbours and serving notice to the rest of the league that they are baa-a-a-ck.

Argentine Primera Division

On Sunday, Velez Sarsfield, battling it out for second place, with who else but Arsenal (de Sarandi), are confronted with a golden opportunity.  They go into Estadio Jose Amalfitani to face top of the table River Plate.  It’s a heavy-weight battle and the winner will rule the Primera Division roost.  On the other hand, if the aforementioned Argentine Gunners take an inviting 3 points at home against minnows Argentina Juniors, a draw in Buenos Aires could see both of the big boys looking up at a surprise leader.

Kris Dwyer

The Oz Files with Kris Dwyer

After last weekend, when the A-League took a ‘dive’it’s only fitting that theres some tasty matches coming up.  First though, it’s the Socceroos.

Australia v Switzerland in Qatar

It’s a big game for Holger Osieck, the new $2million man at the head of the Socceroos.  However the ‘Roos have been dealt a blow with injuries to Michael Beauchamp (ankle), Josh Kennedy (back) and Harry Kewell (groin) limiting the squad for the upcoming international friendly match against Switzerland.  After consultation with the  three players and their clubs, Osieck has decided that they would not be required in camp.  Instead, the German has added Jon McKain and Tommy Oar into the squad.

On to the A-League, then…

Apparently, Perth have this nice chap named Fowler in their squad. Supposed to be famous or something.

Grudge Match – Perth Glory v Wellington Phoenix @ nib Stadium

Last season, the two play-off debutants faced each other in the first round, with the Phoenix taking out the match in a heart breaking penalty shootout.  The Kiwis ended up going all the way to the Preliminary Final only to be knocked out by eventual champions Sydney FC, whilst the Purple Army from the west seethed and dreamt of what might have been.

With the home side branding this as their chance for revenge, you can only expect fireworks, especially with former Glory players Jade North, Leo Bertos and new signing Nicky Ward, all making the trip west.  The Glory are at near full strength, with only Michael Baird (suspension) and Victor Sikora (long term hip injury) unavailable.

One to Watch – Melbourne Heart v North Queensland Fury @ AAMI Stadium

Melbourne Heart are desperate to get their first win ever in the Hyundai A-League and North Queensland Fury are a team desperate to get back to winning ways.  Both sides play fluid Euro-esque attacking football, and, without a doubt, have two of the most passionate, flamboyant managers in the league, making this match a real cracker for the neutral.

..

Well, that about wraps it up.  We’ll be back on Monday with more news, reaction to the matches and, if we can twist the right arms, even a few highlights.  Enjoy the footy and we’ll see you then!

]]> http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2010/09/02/catch-them-if-you-can-3-5-sept-2010/feed/ 0 wfctagteam McLeish, Alex - finger snack Robinho raider fan the friendly skies chris mann eliot Toshack, John - Wales Tapesh Avigdor Goldberg MyPicture Kris Dwyer Fowler, Robbie - Perth Glory http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2010/09/02/over-a-pint-mikel-arteta-making-sense-of-the-rules-of-eligibility/ http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2010/09/02/over-a-pint-mikel-arteta-making-sense-of-the-rules-of-eligibility/#comments Thu, 02 Sep 2010 01:01:19 +0000 The WFC Staff http://www.worldfootballcolumns.com/?p=5315 Continue reading »]]> ..

Editor’s note:  Just as this article was being made ready for posting, Mikel Arteta’s ineligibility was announced.  However, WFC still believes the issues of player eligibility remain unresolved, even if Mikel Arteta’s case has been.  So, please read on and decide for yourself.

In South africa, England was lacking a creative spark...

Do you remember way back, in the springtime of England’s 2010 World Cup dreams, when anything seemed possible?  Brazil and Spain were within reach and the only real problem that Fabio Capello had was the lack of a proven goalkeeper.  Oh, to be young again.  Sadly, another generation of England fans have been forced to grow up too quickly, discovering that the footballing world is a cruel, hard place.

Now it’s autumn and the FA are trying to pick up the pieces of a crumbled dream.  Under pressure from fans and the media to not make the same mistakes and perform as is expected of an England team when the Euros arrive in 2012, new chairman Roger Burden, Sir Dave Richards, the Premier League overlord, and the rest of the board have had to consider suggestions from all quarters on how best to go about it.

The FA has made several decisions quite quickly, in laying plans for the reconstruction.  Should they let Capello go? (No, he stays)  What to do to resolve the poor pitch issues at Wembley? (Install a real and artificial hybrid blend)  What can be done to accelerate the development of young English players? (To begin, the implementation of the Homegrown Rule on 1 September)  The shape of the Euro squad has slowed them up, however.

In their first action since waking up from their pleasant dreams to the horrible realities of Rustenburg, Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and, at the last, Blomfontein, the Three Lions took to the pitch against Hungary, receiving an ambivalent welcome from those faithful who did decide to come.  Much like their greeting, the squad was a mix of the fallen heroes and new faces eager to make their mark.  Unfortunately, Phil Jagielka’s own goal didn’t do much for the hopes of the youngbloods, although their blushes were spared by a brace from captain Steven Gerrard.  The England team, despite the win, seem trapped in a dark place, casting about for some light.

...but would Arteta bowing to the Queen, rather than a king, truly make him an Englishman?

Last week, however, there came either a ray of hope or an oncoming train, dependent upon your worldly outlook.  Everton’s wonderfully talented midfielder Mikel Arteta, who has had the misfortune of being only the ninth or tenth best player at his position in his home country of Spain, suggested that he might be very pleased to play for England, where he would likely be considered in the top three, alongside Gerrard and Frank Lampard.

Amongst the many who raised their half full glasses and drained it to the health of the Toffee’s playmaker (and took up a petition for his canonisation), there were a few old gaffers, frowning at the barmaid’s tardiness in topping off their empty looking mugs, whilst muttering thatsomething just wasn’t right about this.  Unfortunately, WFC editor Martin Palazzotto falls into the latter category , while new writer Tapesh Patel is firmly in the camp of the former.  In the interests of world peace and the general entertainment of others, the pair have agreed to sit down together, sample some Tucher’s on draught and see if they can come to an understanding.

Tapesh: When we talk about Mikel Arteta, I think we should talk about the player himself, before approaching the whole nationality issue. The key point is: if he obtained dual nationality and became eligible for England, would he get into the squad? In my opinion, he most definitely would. In fact, I personally would put him into the starting eleven.

There's no question the Three Lions would welcome him, as well.

One of England’s current problems is a perceived lack of creativity in midfield. This is strange, because the main pairing, Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, are both fairly creative players. What we have seen over the years, though, is that both like to get forward when possible.

What England have lacked, then, is a foot-on-ball playmaker, with the ability to pass to a Gerrard or a Lampard.  Hence the outcry for the return of Paul Scholes (who, by the way, is too old). This lack of such a passer meant that Wayne Rooney tended to drop deep to make the play, which left the now departed Emile Heskey (yikes!) up front.

I believe Arteta is the solution. His ability to dictate play, combined with excellent technique and outstanding passing ability, cannot be matched at the moment by any English player. Tom Huddlestone or Jack Wilshere might become that player in the future, but they are not ready to be regulars yet.

Also, the guy takes a decent penalty!

...but are mercenaries what we want at the World Cup?

Martin: You’re not going to get any argument out of me on Arteta’s ability or where he would fit in with the England squad.  If he were from just about anywhere other than Spain (Brazil and Argentina spring to mind as exceptions), he might very well be a veteran of three World Cups by now.  But the plain, unvarnished truth is that he is a Spaniard.  As such, he should not be available to play for England.

Mikel Arteta is far from the first player to be considered for inclusion in a foreign squad.  There have been several before him and many more are likely to follow.  Some, like Kevin-Prince Boateng, Lukas Podolski and Giuseppe Rossi are doing it for the love of the nation they represent.  I applaud and welcome that.  On the other hand, there’s the onetime Chelsea midfielder Deco, a Brazilian, who just concluded his international career with Portugal and promptly returned home to play out the string with Fluminese.  As his tenure with the Iberians went on, it was rationalised that the two nations were, culturally speaking, close cousins.  That is true enough and if Deco had made his permanent home in Portugal, I would have been content with that line of reasoning.  Yet, the abruptness of his return to Brazil laid bare his true intent.  He was playing for himself, rather than for love of country.  We should never forget (Ashley Cole) that the latter is what the World Cup is about.

Tapesh: I definitely agree with you that this question is ultimately one of pride.  So, these questions really need to be taken on a player-by-player basis. We live in a world where many people have divided identities, especially in football. In fact, the case of Kevin-Prince Boateng is one of the best examples of this.  Infamously, he did not talk to his brother Jerome before facing him in the World Cup. That really goes to show that people from the same background can view their identities in completely different ways.

Unlike his countryman, Senna settled permanently in his adopted country.

A case very similar to that of Arteta, was Marcos Senna. The Brazilian began playing in his native country before moving abroad, to further his career. He went to La Liga, with Villareal, settling there, before gaining citizenship and playing for Spain.  One could not doubt Senna’s commitment to the cause; it was something integral to his role.  Starring in Euro 2008 as midfield enforcer, his displays led many to name him as one of the players of the tournament.

Coming back to Arteta, he seems a very loyal player, as well as a person of substance, having stated that he wouldn’t want to move to clubs like Arsenal or Manchester City in the hope of reaching the Spain team. He’s braved Scottish winters in Glasgow, having played for Rangers from 2002-04, and has learnt the intricacies of the Scouse accent. Given his background, I think he would be proud to step out for England, the country where his career has really blossomed.

Martin: I can appreciate that Arteta seems to be a more honourable candidate than Deco. It’s very loyal of him to publicly decline a possible move to another club, after Everton has treated him so well,  even though it might help him crack the Spanish lineup.  Still, by his own statement, his preferred choice would be Spain.  And there lies the rub.  Boateng’s first choice was Ghana, even though Germany, where he was both eligible and wanted, offered a better chance for glory.  That’s what I mean by love of country.

That he is a ‘person of substance,’as you put it, and a great player certainly garners Arteta my sympathy and while these cases do have to be judged on individual merit, the criteria used to decide the matter must ultimately be whether or not the candidate has cultural ties, of some kind, to the nation he would represent.

Georgie may be the best of but not the only great to have never been to the World Cup.

Take George Best as an example.  The Northern Irishman was perhaps the greatest British player ever.  Yet, with his country being minnows, he never played in a World Cup.  For most of his adult life, he lived (and partied) in England and was a stand out for United.  What if he had pulled a Stephen Ireland, early in his career, and declined to represent his homeland, instead repatriating to England.  Think how that would have lessened his legacy within the game.  Sometimes, your greatness is also measured by what you weren’t able to accomplish.

Andy Carroll, for all his supposed immaturity, has passed this test by declining the invitation of Craig Levein and the Scots.  No, for me, Mikel Arteta must make do with the cards life has dealt him.

Tapesh: I think cultural ties are usually fixed at a young age, but can also be gained or transformed later on in life. The fact is that naturalised citizens will always face the question of when their identity shifts to that of the nation in which they live.

Different people, understandably, have different views on the matter but I think government is designed to represent the views of a nation. As such, I think that Arteta should be considered an Englishman since he now qualifies for dual-nationality by law. The country has a long history of successful assimilation of immigrants, which I think is also demonstrated within the domain of sport. For this reason, I think that most English people would welcome him playing for our national team.

If managers are eligible, why not players?

It’s also fair to argue that the England team lost part of its identity in 2000, when Sven-Goran Eriksson became the first foreign manager of England. This then set the precedent for Fabio Capello to manage the team, and while many opposed the very idea of a foreign manager, at first, no-one was complaining when England flawlessly gained qualification for the World Cup this summer. If there is one person who symbolises the team, it has to be the England manager, who takes a post frequently described around the world as ‘the toughest job in football’.

I was one of those that felt English patriotism took a blow with Eriksson’s appointment. The fact is, though, that the game is different nowadays – even at international level. Therefore, if Arteta wished to become part of the national setup, I see no reason for denying him what is rightfully his.

Martin: I’ve got no truck with foreign managers being involved in a national program; it helps develop the game, especially in the far corners of the football world.  Let them have at it, I say.  They can coach, advise and play the figurehead all they like, because when you get right down to it, championships are won on the pitch, by the players.  That simple fact puts them into two different categories.

As for Arteta, I’m not sure what you mean by rightfully his.  He’s been in England long enough to apply for a passport, yes, but hasn’t actually gotten, or even asked for one yet.  There is a process to go through, after all.  It’s not like he’s trying to buy a Premier League club.  If that were the case, then, naturally, you’d just hand it to him with no questions asked.

I take your point, though.  If he had an English passport, he’d have the right to play for England, given that he’s good enough, and who am I to deny him?  That is the letter of the law.  What I’m trying to champion, however, is its spirit.  In order to do that, I don’t believe FIFA can be as trusting, even judging on an individual basis, as you would have them be.   I don’t like to be redundant but the ‘alright, you seem like a nice guy’policy hasn’t worked out too well for the likes of Liverpool and Pompey and won’t, if things continue as they are, for Manchester United.

...Greed is good.

In football, like any other big business...

That English fans would welcome him with open arms goes without saying, as well.  It’s human nature, after all, to take advantage in any way we can.  We got to the top of the food chain by adapting, being innovative and turning any opportunity to our advantage .  Winning at all costs in business and sport is just a product of evolution.  And that’s where you’re wrong about government.  It’s not there to give us what we want but to make sure we don’t kill each other trying to get it.  Allowing foreign players who can’t get a game in their own country to play for any country desperate enough to take them will eventually kill the World Cup.

Look at the America’s Cup of yachting.  It was going along nicely for the better part of a century until big money became involved.  Suddenly, rules began changing at an alarming pace, until you had the Swiss being crowned champions two times running.  The last time I checked an atlas, Switzerland was still a landlocked country.  If it had been bankers’sons, raised on Lake Geneva crewing the Alinghi and its successor, I’d have no complaint.  Unfortunately, it was the best Kiwi and Aussie sailors that the Swiss Franc could buy.  So much for the battle of nations.

Is that what you want for the World Cup?

..

Of course, while Tapesh and Martin were busy having at it, FIFA weighed in and ruled Arteta ineligible due to a little known rule:

Article 18.1.a within the Fifa statutes outlines that any player who has represented their country in an official competition, at whatever level, would at that time need to have held a passport for the country they later wish to play for in order to be permitted to make the switch. –BBC report on Arteta’s eligibility to play for England

Arteta did play in an Under 16 competition for Spain and, of course, didn’t have a British passport at the time.  So that’s that.  Unless, of course, FIFA were to decide to change their rules or make an exception to an existing one, as they’ve been known to do, on occasion.  After all, Sepp Blatter is quite happy to have the UK represented by the separate home nations but is unwilling to sanction the Basques or Catalonia to field teams separate from the rest of Spain.

Meanwhile, having been informed that all their arguing was moot, Martin and Tapesh have resolved to go back to the bar and get falling down drunk.  How do the rest of you feel?  Answer the poll below and, if you like, add a comment through the Intense Debate comment section.

[poll id="13"]

If you want to get re-elected, do not admit that crotchety senior citizens are anything but sweet, wonderful and, of course, charming conversationalists.

“I’d love to reply to your insightful query with my honest and valid opinion but I’m afraid you’ll twist what I say to suit your own agenda or simply make far more out of my remark than was ever meant, just to sell your dubious excuse for a newspaper (which, to be fair, is true enough or else no one would read the News of The World). Therefore, I’m afraid that, in the interests of self-preservation, I’ll have to stick to non-speak and, in as many words and combinations as possible, offer nothing of substance whatsoever. Do you have a follow up, question? Yes I’d love to answer that, as well, but see my original response. Thank you, very much. Who’s next?”

Of course, since it’s worked so well for politicos, PC has now permeated every facet of society. That, unfortunately, includes football. Liability has a lot to do with this, of course. It can be quite expensive, in modern society, to hurt someone’s feelings or cast them in a poor light, even if you speak the truth. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will land you in court faster than you can say Johnny Cochrane.

There are still a few characters around who say what’s on their mind, such as Jose Mourinho, Roy Keane and Ian Holloway. In the case of the Blackpool manager, I honestly didn’t know that much about him (give me a break, I live in Florida) until he came up in a recent conversation with WFC writer Matty Dalton. Since then, I’ve done a bit of catching up and I have to say I regret being in the dark about the man. He is blunt, honestly direct and has a unique sense of humour. In short, he’s engaging and that is exactly what being PC is not.

Where politicians have mastered the art of political correctness, footy personalities are often far less adept. So, on occasion you can read between the lines, to decipher the code of their veiled remarks, and discover what they’re truly saying. More often than not, it’s a tedious exercise but, once in a while, it can be great fun.

What follows is a handy guide to translating non-speak into the Queen’s English, using actual quotes from persons involved in recent events in the footballing world.

..

From the Guardian, on Martin O’Neill leaving Aston Villa

My agent said this worked for Ronald Reagan.

“It’s obviously a wrench to be leaving such a magnificent club.” – Martin O’Neill

Translation: If I didn’t leave, I’d have hit Randy Lerner over the head with a wrench! The man is a skin flint. How does he expect me to field a decent squad if he doesn’t free up funds to replace all the players he’s letting go?

“The club would like to thank Martin for the great work he has done at Aston Villa over the past four years. He has helped to establish the club in the upper echelons of the Premier League, has taken us to Wembley and we have also qualified for European competition for the past three seasons under his management. We wish him the best in the future.” – Paul Faulkner, Aston Villa CEO

Translation: We thought he’d never leave. He’s such a stick in the mud and was always asking Mr. Lerner for more money. It’s not like Randy’s made out of the stuff! Well okay, he is, but he wants to keep some of it. What’s wrong with that?

“I wish them all the best for the future. I will obviously be assisting the club in the immediate short term with regard to the handover of my duties.” – O’Neill, again

Translation: If I don’t stick around until Kevin MacDonald stops freaking out, I won’t get my severance pay.”

“The LMA shares Martin’s disappointment at him leaving Aston Villa. He has achieved great success not just with Villa but throughout his managerial career. He is a great example to all aspiring managers having built the foundations in non-league football to then go on to successfully manage at the highest level in the game.” — Richard Bevin, CEO of the League Manager’s Association

Translation: We’re thinking of taking legal action.

From the Mail, on Craig Bellamy leaving Man City

“I haven’t spoken to the manager since February. There are a number of players, like Tevez and me, who he doesn’t speak to and keeps us away. I’m not sure if it’s personal. Maybe it’s the way he deals with things and it’s his manner.” – Craig Bellamy, soon to be ex-Man city forward

Translation: He keeps yelling at me to do things his way, so I just ignore him. I mean, Carlos and me gave it a go more than once, but in the end we were just better off taking the bleedin’ball, runnin’over and around blokes and puttin’it in the back of the net. I miss Sparky.

From Soccernet, also on Craig Bellamy leaving Man City

Come on now, Craig, take it easy. I was just kidding about the extra training. Put down that nine iron.

“What he has said is not important because it is false. I speak with the players every day and Craig always played for me last year. This year I choose other players. I am the manager and it is my choice.” – Roberto Mancini, manager of Manchester City

Translation: I speak to him all the time. He just doesn’t listen and does as he likes. I don’t care if he and Tevez did score all those goals, give me Patrick Vieira any day of the week.

From Soccernet again, on where Craig Bellamy might end up

“At the end of the day, the way the situation seems to be forming for Craig that Manchester City won’t use him at Premier League level, so from Craig’s point of view, it is very important that he makes the right decision, for his career, because a wrong decision at this point in time could hurt him, so I wish him well in what decision he takes.” – Mark Hughes, new Fulham man and Bellamy’s former coach at Man City, Blackburn and with Wales

Translation: I miss you, too!

From the ubiquitous Soccernet, on Christian Poulsen not being a replacement for Javier Mascherano, at Liverpool

Psst, Roy, what's all this Mascherano stuff? Are they ever going to ask a question about me?

“It is not a question of Christian replacing Javier. I believe Javier is going to play for us. We’ve got a lot of games to play, hopefully, and we’re going to need a lot of players. We didn’t take him in to replace somebody; we took him in because we want him to improve the size of our squad and the quality of our squad.” – Roy Hodgson, new Liverpool Manager

Translation: Bloody hell! Of course, he’s here to replace Mascherano. Do you think I’m daft or something? The lad wants to leave and, as long as he’s here, there’ll be a bad vibe in the clubhouse. But we’re not going to just give him away. If that rat, Rafa, or anyone else wants him, they’re going to pay. We’re in enough debt without letting perfectly good assets walk out the front door without even a kiss on the cheek for goodbye, thank you very much.

..

So, as you can see, footballers are just not as good at slipping reporters the old no comment. The truth is always lurking just below the surface. Try as they might, there is usually something to be gleaned from their fumbled attempts at saying a heck of a lot of nothing at all.

On the other hand, there’s this from the Telegraph, on Fabio Capello calling time on Beckham’s England career

As it turns out, England is no country for old men.

“I thank (David) very much for helping me at the World Cup but he is probably too old.” –Fabio Capello, embattled England manager

Translation: I thank (David) very much for helping me at the World Cup but he is probably too old.

..

It’s refreshing to see a little honesty from someone with something to lose. The media and fans are all over this because Capello supposedly dissed Beckham.

My question is in what way, exactly? As Jim White points out on Yahoo!, it’s not like Capello is lying or even bursting Golden Ball’s bubble. Beckham is too old. He knows it , Capello knows it and the rest of the world knows it.

So pile on Fabio if you like, to assuage the bruised feelings from the bursting of your own World Cup bubble, but I respect a man who can tell it like it is and be honest with his players. They are grown men and should be able to handle the truth as such.

The world might be a better place, if we all had slightly thicker skins.

With Ashley Cole facing a battle to be fit for the tournament and an out of position Steven Gerrard occupying the left-hand side, width isn’t England’s strong point.

N’Zogbia is soon to complete the required residential period of leaving in England for five years, making him eligible to be considered for the national side.

The ex-French Under-21 midfielder has yet to be selected for the French senior side and his manager has suggested he should be considered by Capello.

Martinez said: “I asked Charles the other day about England and he said he was hoping. I think he is definitely open to playing for England.

“I thought he wanted to play for France but he’s been living in England so long now he’s ready to present whichever country asks him.”

The left wing position has long been the thorn in any England managers’ side.

Sven Goran Eriksson even resorted to playing Emile Heskey wide left, a player not known for his pace, as resources were limited.

With Joe Cole failing to establish himself in Chelsea’s first team and James Milner playing most of his club football in the centre of midfield, this leaves Stewart Downing as England’s only option.

N’Zogbia is left footed, usually deployed on the right hand side on Wigan’s midfield, showing versatility on both sides of the field.

The former Newcastle player has also filled in at left-back during his spell in the North-East, therefore offering Capello cover.

Not only scoring goals but creating them this season for the Latics proves N’Zogbia possesses more than enough quality to be selected.

But would Capello really consider taking a Frenchmen to wear the three lions shirt this summer?

Well this isn’t the first time a foreigner has been considered for an England call up.

During Eriksson’s reign, the Swede wanted to bring Carlo Cudicini, Louis Saha, Steed Malbranque and Edu into his England squad after Euro 2004.

The fear of an outcry from English supporters of an Italian, a Brazilian and two Frenchmen representing the national side prevented the players from being considered.

Isn’t it about time English football stopped living in a bubble and stopped hampering their own chances of success?

Other sports in this country have adapted to the rules and regulations that allow foreign players to represent the national teams.

Lesley Vainikolo, the most prolific try scorer in Super League history, was called up to England’s rugby union national side, despite originating from New Zealand.

And the ‘Barmy Army’ don’t mind cheering when South African born Kevin Pietersen scores a century for England.

So why should it be any different for the national football side?

Fabio Capello isn’t shy of making big decisions, proved by striping John Terry of the England captaincy.

The Italian could make his boldest move yet by selecting the first overseas player to represent the English this summer.