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Real football is back and thank goodness for that.  Scheduling international matches this early in the season is ridiculous and takes the sheen off a highly anticipated new season, but that’s a rant for another day…

This week saw the return to training of Liverpool’s talismanic skipper, Steven Gerrard, with a new and improved groin muscle in tow. Gerrard has been missing for over six months, his last competitive display for the Reds occurring in the 3-1 victory over fierce rivals Manchester United. The game is remembered as Luis Suarez warning shot to the rest of the Premier League.

It’s highly doubtful whether Gerrard will ever get back to the levels he showed from 2007-2009, but if he can return to just eighty percent of his peak performance, then Kenny Dalglish will still have a world class player at his disposal.  I’ve been looking forward to seeing a fully fit Stevie G team up with Luis Suarez, all summer, and touting him to become part of the front three in the new line-up.  However, since the start of the season, a few issues have reared their heads, most notably the stellar form of Dirk Kuyt and Stewpot Downing.

The skipper could play in the front line but who makes way? The mercurial Suarez? …not a chance. The hard grafting oft underestimated Dirk Kuyt? …..nope. The direct, pacy Stewart Downing? ….I would hope not. It seems that the new squad has just taken the pitch and there’s no room for Gerrard already, even without mentioning the much maligned Andy Carroll and Craig “I have a point to prove” Bellamy.

So where does Captain Fantastic fit in when he does eventually regain his fitness? Glancing over the LFC team sheets for the start of the Premiership campaign, there’s only one player who hasn’t fully made his case to be first choice game in and game out.   That is the nonetheless improving Jordan Henderson.

One qualm Dalglish might have with taking the young Englishman out of the side is the confidence factor. Personally, I didn’t see much of Henderson at Sunderland, but, during his time thus far at Melwood, he gives the impression of being a player who thrives on confidence. Each solid performance seemingly builds upon the last. On U21 duty, he bettered his first goal of the season at the next chance of asking. Being dropped from the team, even for someone as influential as Gerrard, could deal the Twenty-one year old a knockout of sorts.   Still, a hard choice has to be made and few people can keep a player’s confidence up like Dalglish.

Liverpool may get even more out of Gerrard than before, because they now have the grafters to help him carry the club. The days of Gerrard dragging the Red of Merseyside on his back, all by his lonesome, are coming to an end. The acquisition of willing runners (Downing, Jose Enrique, Suarez, Bellamy, Henderson) to compliment the hard workers already at the club (Lucas, Kuyt, Kelly) means Stevie G no longer has to be ever-present all over the pitch.   He can now conserve his energy, holding that burst of pace in reserve for when it really matters. In bygone days, he was popping up all over the pitch, a whirling dervish feeding energy to the rest of the side.  Now, he may become the calm at the center of the storm, directing the chaos to where it will be most effective.

The international break also saw Stewart Downing couple his impressive start to life on Merseyside, with two outstanding displays for England. The left winger is another of LFC’s recent ‘high-priced’ acquisitions. Downing bagged an assist in each of the national side’s two qualifiers, planting a corner onto Rooney’s head for the second goal v Bulgaria and playing a delightful right wing cut back to Ashley Young for the only goal v Wales.

The former Villain’s versatility and movement has made him borderline indispensable at Liverpool and translating the form he’s shown so far to the international stage will help drive that point home in Fabio Capello’s line-ups. Downing can figure in many a plan.  Need a left winger?… sorted; need a right winger?… no problem; bit short in the middle?…  he can do that too.  Ben Foster and Robert Green don’t feel like turning out?… okay, that may be taking it too far.

Let’s say that you want to change style during a game, though.  We’ve all seen how England and LFC have been playing with three interchanging attacking midfielders just behind the main striker.  It’s a style in which the Teesside native flourishes. He can also perform the more traditionally balanced role by sticking to the touch-line, whipping in crosses and providing cover to the fullback.   Because that was how he was employed at Aston Villa, many critics made the mistake of assuming that was the limit of his ability.  Never make assumptions.

The one thing that Downing lacks is goals.  Bars have been hit, saves have been forced but that first goal still eludes the winger.  Only thirty-six in three hundred and twenty-four games doesn’t make for impressive reading, but ,with the licence to roam that has been handed down from the LFC coaching staff, that record could yet be improved.  There is also the motivation of Charlie Adam and Henderson already having opened their respective accounts in the 3-1 domination of Bolton Wanderers.

King Kenny has trimmed the excess in midfield, by loaning out Alberto Aquilani and selling Raul Mereiles, but he now has to incorporate a competent attacking unit from the wide range of options still available, while also keeping everyone happy.  Maybe he’ll take a page from Mitch Hennesy (Samuel L. Jackson).

Stewpot on the left, da-da, da-dum,
Stevie G on the right, da-da, da-dum,
Win the league title?
Who knows, we just might!

Daniel Doran moderates on The Football Net.

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Back when he was still employed as Blackburn manager, Sam Allardyce was famously quoted as not liking perception and believing that people “should stick to reality”.  Many pundits, yours truly included, took the opportunity to have some fun at Big Sam’s expense.  After all, if perception didn’t exist, no one would give a damn about football and he’d be unemployed.  Every aspect of the game, including the spectacle, which club or country one roots for and which style of play is most effective is down to each individual observer or participant’s perception.  Obviously then, the same set of circumstances can be seen in a unique light by different people and approached from myriad directions.

At the time of his remark, Big Sam himself was under the perception that, in the face of new ownership, he’d finally have the backing to move Rovers forward and could expect to be challenging for a European place in the seasons to come.  That, of course, was not the reality.  Not even a fortnight later, he was sacked, briefly went into television and has now signed on to lead West Ham out of the Championship desert and back into the promised land of the Premier League.

So, even for the wary, perception is a very dangerous thing.  Imagine how powerful it is in the minds of teenagers.  Cases in point are Monday’s quarter-final matches in the U17 World Cup.

In one match, the French took on hosts Mexico.  Mid-fielder Kevin Escamilla put El Tri in front just before the quarter-hour but three minutes later defender Jordan Ikoko levelled for Les Bleus.  Shortly after intermission, Carlos Fierro put Mexico ahead to stay.

Tensions ran high between the two sides, with the French trying to impose their will physically on the smaller, more technically proficient Mexicans.  In all, five cards were handed out to both sides, with three to France.  The tight 2-1 score could easily be put down to home field advantage being the deciding factor between two closely matched sides.

Yet, given recent events within the French national program, one has to wonder if the match doesn’t vindicate Laurent Blanc’s perception of the state of the game in that nation.  Politicians and many players of minority origin were outraged at the very thought of imposing racial quotas within the France set-up.  The French Minister for Sport stated publicly that athletic ability should be the sole criteria for selecting players.

Blanc, on the other hand, supported quotas to protect players who may not possess superior athletic prowess but whose vision, technique and sense of timing more than compensate.  He pointed out that the current, overwhelming trend to recruit and promote bigger, stronger players was endangering Les Bleus’ future.  Without them, as the loss to Mexico hinted, the side was becoming predictably one-dimensional.

The same criticism has been levelled at Ligue 1, which features sides filled to bursting with gifted young athletes, blessed with speed, power and skill but who, to many, seem to lack craft and guile.

One or two such players in a lineup, pulling the strings, tend to elevate the game of the whole squad. Their vision and imagination were what made Zinedine Zidane, Michel Platini and David Beckham legends of the game, not their physical gifts.

That the trio and many others like them tend to be Caucasian is [to my perception] rooted in socio-economic issues rather than the more widely perceived and condemned racial perspective.  Yaya Toure certainly dispels any notion that black footballers are bereft of imagination but the simple fact remains that the opposite is the general perception.

Regardless of his racial background, if the French had a player of Toure’s ilk in their squad on Monday, they might have been able to change tactics, rather than trying in vain to overpower a smaller, quicker side.  Instead, Les Bleus were only able to employ a single strategy, for which their opponents were well prepared.  The overriding sentiment from those in authority, that the FFF should only concern itself with physical qualities, was proved to be the ignorant school of thought in this competition.

The other match of the day displayed another quality of the power of perception.  When Brits logged onto the internet on Monday night or picked up the morning paper on Tuesday, they would have read the following scoreline:  England 2 – 3 Germany and thought to themselves, not again!

For whatever reason and at whatever level, English footballers cannot seem to get the better of their Teutonic rivals.  It happened at the 2009 U21 Euros, where the Three Lion Cubs were mauled by Germany 4-0.  The senior squad was then eliminated by Die Mannschaft in South Africa, albeit with the opposition aided by a critical mistake from the referee.  Even when they have had success, as at Wembley in 1966, they find themselves having to defend against the perception that they were merely lucky, or worse, had help themselves.  When it comes to Germany, it always seems to go wrong for English football.

For a group of teenagers, the ever-present knowledge of that futility can be poison.  They may relish the challenge of playing their rivals.  They may understand that the past is just that, and has no bearing on the present unless they permit it.  They may even be wholly confident in their own ability.  But when the least little thing goes wrong, a sense of inevitability creeps into their collective mind.  If the first team finds that difficult to overcome, how can one fault the youngsters from falling victim to the same pathology?

In Monday’s match, things went wrong very quickly.  Samed Yesil struck for Germany in the seventh minute.  When England failed to respond, Kaan Ayhan added a second before the half-hour and Yesil completed a double early in the second half.  The young Lions finally responded after the hour, through Samuel Magri’s spot kick, and then Hallam Hope offered his name to the side by pulling England within one with eight minutes remaining.  That was as close as they would come, however, and Germany now face Mexico in the semis.

Meanwhile, everyone is asking,”Why can’t we beat Germany?”

What makes the continuing failure all the more frustrating to England fans, for whom each encounter is momentous, is that their opposite numbers view every renewal as just another game.  That’s not surprising, really, when you’re always on the winning side, but it is another lesson in differing perceptions.

My perception is that the key to the one-sided rivalry is simple.  Germany is open to change, while England is implacably rooted in tradition.

The last hundred years outside the game will tell you what you need to know.  England fought and, against the odds, won two World Wars.  Their pride in that is justifiably immense but it also gets in the way of their thinking.  They cling to the trappings of their former empire and refuse to join the rest of the world.  The current government is composed of what are supposed to be diametrically opposed political parties, yet in just over a year in power, there have been no significant disagreements or public acrimony between the two sides of the coalition.  Britons are simply unwilling to disturb the status quo.

Conversely, Germany has twice had to rebuild their nation from scratch.  They have learned the hard way that some of their traditional values are detrimental to their political well-being.  Since the inception of the EU, the Germans have maintained their famously stoic determination whilst welcoming and embracing the rest of Europe.  Consequently, the country which regretfully embraced Hitler’s philosophy of a single master race is now the most diverse nation in Europe.

England, of course, has resisted the call of Europe every step of the way.  Like a pendulum swinging in a wide arc, Germany have experienced a broader range of  ideologies and successfully adapted the best of each.  The British timepiece barely moves and that is reflected in the narrow-minded thinking of those in power.  With the FA comprised of many powerful members of the establishment, it’s unsurprising that no serious change has been seriously considered, much less implemented.

If England want to step to the fore of the game, they are going to have to follow Germany’s example and redefine what it means to be English.

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In the winter window, Liverpool left it until the death to sign Luis Suarez and then swooped for Andy Carroll just before UEFA could blow the whistle for full time.  While circumstances dictated the situation, it was still an expensive and undesirable way to conduct business, and almost parallel to their fortunes in the league.  This summer, the Reds got out of the gate early, hoping to get the jump on other teams, signing Sunderland starlet Jordan Henderson.

Unfortunately, they are still playing catch up, thanks to Manchester United’s aggressive dealings early on.  Sir Alex Ferguson beat Kenny Dalglish to both Phil Jones and Ashley Young and has now signed coveted keeper David de Gea.  The total bill to date is just over £50 million but, if United’s Premier League history is any indication, Ferguson is far from finished.  United like to get ahead of the field early to avoid the pressure of chasing but they are also known for finishing strongly.  It wouldn’t be a surprise to see the same philosophy applied to the transfer market now that United have committed themselves,  They’ve got the young nucleus they sought at forward (Danny Welbeck, Javier Hernandez), in defence (Chris Smalling, Jones and the da Silva twins) and in goal (de Gea). Now look for Fergie to add some fresh legs to an aging midfield.

However, while you’re sorting through all the rumours, trying to decide if a young veteran like Wesley Sneijder or a relatively unknown talent such as Steven Defour is in the Old Trafford crosshairs, have a look at the fixtures on tap for this weekend,

Women’s World Cup

So much for excitement.  My Lady Leafs had their heads handed to them by a rampant French side and are left with only their pride to play for in Germany, as the hosts and Les Bleus have both ensured their progression by taking maximum points from the group.  At least England fans will be happy, after the Three Lionesses overcame an early goal from Kiwi Sarah Gregorius to defeat New Zealand 2-1, with strikes from Jill Scott and Jess Clarke, and book a place in the knockout round.

USA v Colombia (Saturday) — The US women have gotten off to a good start as they look to regain their status as the world’s best side, defeating North Korea 2-0 on Tuesday.  Colombia, meanwhile, were beaten by Sweden in their opening match.  A victory for the Americans will see them into the knockout rounds.  Unfortunately, the match brings back memories of the men’s encounter in 1994, in which Andres Escobar’s own goal sent the American’s through and led to the defender’s tragic murder upon returning to Colombia.  If there is one benefit to the women’s comparatively low profile, it’s that people outside the squad aren’t likely to take defeat as badly as the players themselves.

Australia v Equatorial Guinea (Sunday) — The Matildas are up against it.  In their opening game against powerhouse Brazil, the Aussies gave as good as they got but failed to capitalise on their early chances.  It would cost them dearly ten minutes into the second half, when Marta played keepy-uppy with the Australian back line on the edge of the eighteen.  She then headed the ball to Rosana, who made a beautiful lunging touch to wrong-foot her marker, get the ball onto her own left foot and beat a stunned Melissa Barbieri in goal.

With Norway beating Equatorial Guinea in their first match, the Matildas must come away from this tilt with all three points to guarantee themselves a chance in the final group match against the Norwegians.

Urawa Diamonds v Gamba Osaka (Saturday) – In last week’s matches, three of the big four claimed draws in critical contests and came away from the round treading water in the table.  The problem for Urawa is that treading water is the same as drowning when you are just one point above the drop zone.

Now they find themselves defending Saitama Stadium against the only one of their brethren to come out of last week’s action with a victory.  Gamba Osaka overcame  Sanfrecce Hiroshima in an eight goal thriller to make it three wins on the trot, during which they’ve hit for eleven goals.  The moral of the story for Diamonds is that they cannot let up for a moment or Gamba will put one past them.

The home side needs to distance itself from the danger zone and the visitors will want maximum points to keep top side Kashiwa Reysol within six points.

DC United v Philadelphia Union (Saturday) — These two cities have an historic rivalry in the NFL, recently exacerbated by the Eagles trading their star quarterback, Donovan McNabb, to the capital city’s Redskins to make way for the incredibly athletic but morally flawed Michael Vick, recently released after serving a prison term for organising a dog fighting ring.

In Major League Soccer, United, the league’s original champions are now a faded dynasty trying to rebound with an untested young coach, in Ben Olsen, and a completely overhauled roster.  The Union are in just their second year of existence but Piotr Nowak’s tightly disciplined unit leads the Eastern Conference and, most notably, the NY Red Bull by two points.  Yet, Olsen has done well in the first half of the season and has his charges on the cusp of the playoffs.

Of late, Philadelphia’s stingy defence has begun to show a few cracks; they are still yielding less than a goal per game but at one point it was closer to one in every two.  What their excellent traveling support, the Sons of Ben (Franklin, a famous scion of the City of Brotherly Love, himself), do not want to see is Charlie Davies on the pitch recovered from the ankle injury which has kept him out for a game or two.  The one-time US International, on his way back from a tragic car accident which killed a friend and left him severely injured, has struck for eight goals over seven starts and six substitute appearances.  He is questionable for the match but, if he is ready to go, will surely test the Union back four.

US Virgin Islands v British Virgin Islands (Sunday) – Anglo footy fans on both sides of the Atlantic are aware of the huge upset in the 1950 World Cup and the subsequent rematch in South Africa last year, where Robert Green’s howler off a Clint Dempsey dribbler spoilt Captain Steven Gerrard’s early strike and split the points between friendly rivals England and the US.

The pair rarely meet in friendlies and more than half a century went by between their last two competitive matches, so this World Cup qualifier between the two Caribbean mini-me versions of the big boys might serve nicely as a between-meals snack.  The game may not register on the mainland radar but St. Thomas and Road Harbour should be rocking!

The Copa America got under way on Friday night with hosts Argentina taking on Bolivia and on Sunday Brazil will open defence of their title against Venezuela.  Neither of the giants are expected to encounter significant resistance in the group stages, so this is the time for the lesser lights to shine.

Paraguay v Ecuador (Sunday) – This affair is the best matchup on the weekend slate.

The Paraguayans, similar to Argentina, have a wealth of options up front.  Young Lucas Barrios of Bundesliga Champions Borussia Dortmund will try to uproot one of the established pair from the World Cup campaign, Nelson Valdez and Roque Santa Cruz.  Between that trio and netminder Justo Villar is a solid but unspectacular lineup, which combustible boss Gerrardo Martino has forged into a difficult group to crack.

Ecuador doesn’t have the depth of their opponents.  The only name which will ring a bell with Premier and Champions League fans is midfielder Antonio Valencia of Manchester United.  Instead of Wayne Rooney, his main target will be Club América (of Mexico) talisman Cristian Benitez.  New manager Reinaldo Rueda, who has just arrived after guiding Honduras through the World Cup, is charged with transforming La Tri from a side on the edge of respectability – they narrowly missed out on World Cup qualification in 2010 – into a team with which to be reckoned.

See you next week!

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Whenever a great side comes along, people always react in the same manner.  The general consensus immediately becomes that they are unbeatable.  Yet, Uruguay have not won every World Cup and Preston North End have long since failed to hold onto their First Division title.  Even the current Barcelona dynasty suffered a hiccup in between their dismissals of Manchester United.

Spain are the current holders of both the European Championship and World Cup, with bookmakers, pundits and punters alike finding it difficult to conceive that they will not dissect the opposition in the same surgical fashion next summer in the Ukraine and Poland.  And, so they might.

On the other hand, they just might not.  Throughout the World Cup, La Furia dominated possession and looked good doing it.  Yet, to their own frustration, they continually failed to administer the killing stroke.  Consequently, Switzerland were able to win ugly in the opening match of the group stage and every match but one in their tournament ended by either a 1-0 or 2-1 score. Rather than grabbing the world by the throat to win their first World Cup, Vicente del Bosque’s side managed it by the skin of their teeth.

When you leave the door open so many times, sooner or later, someone is going to walk through it.  Heading into next summer’s tournament, the champions will be largely unchanged from the current version.  Barring injury, Iker Casillas will be between the sticks, Carles Puyol and Gerard Pique will guard his doorstep, flanked by Joan Capdevilla and Sergio Ramos, the midfield will be led by Xavi and Andres Iniesta and anchored by Sergio Busquets, and David Villa will be up front.  The only changes might be Cesc Fabregas stepping into Xabi Alonso’s place or Pedro replacing Fernando Torres.  Essentially, they’ll be standing pat.  Meanwhile, many of their opponents will be featuring new, improved squads.

So, our cracked staff has gotten together one last time, this summer, to run the rule over the competition and offer their opinions on who will walk away as the next European champion.

Spain (Sean O’Brien) – After last year’s World Cup final, I predicted that Germany would win Euro 2012. I ‘m sticking with that prediction,for now, but the question for the moment is which team is most likely to win the tournament?  To me, ‘most likely’ means favoured and Spain is obviously that.

Initially, my argument was going to be that this tournament would be this squad’s last hurrah, but, after doing some research, I was surprised by how young this Golden Generation is. At tournament kickoff next summer, only eight players will have reached thirty years of age. Of those, four are either goalies or sporadic starters. The others are Xabi Alonso , David Villa, Xavi and Carles Puyol.  Xavi, Villa and Alonso are all playing better than ever, with only Puyol showing the effects of his advancing years. It’s a medical fact that smaller people tend to age better and durability is just another advantage that this immensely talented squad enjoys.

Speaking of advantages, La Furia Roja has the best goalkeeping corps in the world, a backline with a fantastic mixture of experience and youth, a midfield deeper than the Pacific Ocean and scoring options more potent than ever, with Torres having had time to regain his form, Pedro developing further and Alvaro Negredo coming up. Imagine facing a team that could bring David Silva, Pedro and Cesc Fabregas off the bench? That’s just frightening.

Tactically, everyone knows that ball possession and midfield control give you a fantastic chance to win and they also know that no one on the planet maintains possession and wins it back better than the Spaniards.   Their players know each other so well that they are rarely, if ever, out of sync.

The only question mark hanging above this team is whether another season of Clasico matches will break the hard-earned trust in what has traditionally been a fractious team.  Regional politics had long been a detriment to the national team but, under del Bosque, Castilians, Catalans, Andalusians and Basques all came together.  Yet, smoldering embers between Real Madrid and Barcelona blazed out of control this season and, although the players claim that those emotions are set aside during international duty, another contentious season in La Liga will test that discipline, possibly exposing the ugly side of the beautiful game.

Germany (Gareth McKnight) – The Germans are starting to look ominous. Joachim Löw has been in charge of the side since taking over from Jurgen Klinsmann in July, 2006, stamping his style and authority over a talented group of players. Die Mannschaft alway seem to be there or thereabouts and the side has been on the verge of success in their last three major tournament outings, finishing third in the last two World Cups and runners-up to the superb Spaniards in Euro 2008.

The squad has a youthful exuberance and the old guard are finally comfortable in handing the reins over to the new generation; it was announced on Thursday that Michael ‘Kaiser’ Ballack will no longer be considered for international duty. With Manuel Neuer, Mats Hummels, Mesut Özil, Thomas Müller and Mario Gomez, the side has world-class players, all 25 or under, ready to take the country to the pinnacle of football once again.  Despite having only two thirty-something players in their current squad, Germany does not lack experience, with seasoned campaigners Philipp Lahm, Lukas Podolski, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Miroslav Klose all having over 80 caps apiece.  It’s a perfect blend of old and new.

With the Euros a year away, mercurial talents such as Marko Marin, Marco Reus and Mario Götze have another season of club football to mature and possibly add their considerable abilities to the combined German effort.

Germany is undefeated in an admittedly average qualification group but – platitude alert!  platitude alert! – you can only play what is put in front of you. Löw’s team have won seven games out of seven, scoring twenty-two goals and conceding only three. With the big game mentality and nerves of steel the German side always bring to international tournaments, don’t be surprised if they finally oust holders Spain and lift the European trophy in the Ukraine.

The French Foreign Legion (Tapesh Patel) – With Spain so dominant at international level, it’s a tough ask for any side to topple them. But there is, I would say, a ‘second tier’ of countries waiting to pounce if they do slip up, of which France is a member.

In little less than a season, Laurent Blanc has transformed the bunch of misfits that emerged from the World Cup without suspension into a cohesive, and above all winning outfit. The latter should be emphasised – as triumphs over England and Brazil, albeit in friendlies, testify to this France team’s ability to duke it out with the heavyweights.

The qualifying campaign has been unremarkable but there is little doubt that France will go through. If and When they do, the side at Euro 2012 will be an impressive one. Rami and Mexes have formed an impressive little-and-large partnership in defence. Yann M’Vila has the potential to last a decade as midfield enforcer. Samir Nasri sparkles as the side’s attacking fulcrum, even more so than for Arsenal. And Karim Benzema, after a long spell in the wilderness, is back.

Add the formerly suspended Franck Ribery and Patrice Evra into this equation, and it becomes the sum of old and new, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The big-club experience the pair will bring could be exactly what a potential winner of the tournament will need.

Les Bleus (Andrew Gibney) – Now that the quota scandal is behind Laurent Blanc – touch wood – he can get back to the wonderful job he has been doing with the National team. There is so much talent in this side and with another domestic campaign successfully in the books for all, I can only see good things happening.

The partnership of Rami and Mexes is getting better every game and, with the man mountain Mamadou Sakho waiting eagerly in the wings, the defence looks promising for years to come. There is no question that Yann M’Vila is going to be a star and 2012, culminating in the Euros, could be his breakout year.

Upfront there are just too many threats to write about.  Just trust me; take all your money and throw it on France..Allez Les Bleus, Allez!  – Andrew Gibney

Paris in Spring (Jude Ellery) – La Francais. Mes oui!  Sorry Tapesh, I’ll be treading on your toes a bit here but you don’t have the market cornered on Gallic appreciation.

Laurent Blanc is a stylish manager but, more importantly, the FFF have found the new secret formula for winning international tournaments: a lush away kit. Sure, Spain have nice home shirts, but France’s secret weapon is a classically designed second strip, inspired by the marinière: the black and white stripey number that French sailors (and afterwards, burglars) used to wear.

I predict that this outfit will inspire Les Sacrebleus to raise their performance by at least 3%, and, seeing as a prerequisite for winning any international competition is beating Italy in extra time in the semi-final, this little slice of haute couture will be just what Karim Benzema and co. need to bring the trophy back to l’Hexagone.

The Rejects (Martin Palazzotto) – Well, the consensus seems to be with Les Bleus in our little corner of the cyber-verse.  Personally, I’m with Gareth – great minds and all that – in the belief that Germany is going to claim its fourth European crown.  

He’s touched on all the right points.  As well as possessing the requisite talent to get the job done, die Mannschaft are trending in the proper direction after losing to Spain in the last tournament and the World Cup semi-finals.  They’ve transitioned quickly from an old squad to a young, eager side with big game experience.  They’ve learned to lose to Spain; now its time that they beat them.

Still it’s been left to me, the responsible one, to let everyone else down easy and explain why your favourite didn’t rate with WFC.  I’m always stuck being the bad parent.  So, here’s the cold, hard truth:

The Dutch — Mohamed Moallim has been hampered by the poorest of excuses – a paying job – from defending the honour of his beloved l’Oranje in person.  Unfortunately, were he here, he’d find it difficult to rationalise precisely how Bert van Marwijk’s side could overcome what was already an aging defence in South Africa to hold off the potent attacks of France Germany and Spain.  Worse, two of their best young players, Ibrahim Afellay and Urby Emmanuelson may have hampered their own development by signing with clubs, Barcelona and AC Milan, which will likely not offer them consistent first team starts.

Then, there is the question of nerve.  Having given as good as they got in attack against Brazil, van Marwijk’s side crept into a defensive shell, one that an elephant wielding a sledgehammer would find impossible to crack, when they went up against the struggling offence of Spain.  In America, we have a saying:  you dance with the one who brought you.  If the Netherlands reach the final in Kiev, however, it wouldn’t surprise me if, one more time, the artistry of Arjen Robben, Wesley Sneijder and Robin Van Persie gives way to the brute force of Mark van Bommel and Nigel ‘The Legbreaker’ de Jong.

Portugal –  Believe it or not, this is not a one-man team.  There is no doubt that Cristiano Ronaldo, for better or worse, is the Seleccao leader but Eduardo, Bruno Alves, Ricardo Carvalho, Pepe, Fabio Coentrao, Raul Mereiles, Nani and Hugo Almeida are hardly make-weight components.  They may not have the depth of the favourites but that doesn’t stop them from being a very real threat as long as they can avoid injury and suspensions.

 What’s the problem, then?  Well, when you have a coach, in Carlos Queiroz, who has unified a group of technically gifted, attack-minded players and sold them on playing as a defensive unit, sacrificing themselves for each other, you don’t sack him when he oversteps his bounds in protecting them.  When he leaves, the belief in a shared goal goes with him and you’re stuck with a ragged passel of disillusioned individuals.

The Azzurri – Under Cesare Prandelli, Generation Next in Italy is coming together.  His hardline on disciplinary matters has been accepted by all, after both Daniele de Rossi and Mario Balotelli were banned for incidents while on club duty.  Prandelli has also had a narrow focus in selection, with Serie A Golden Boot winner for two season’s running, Antonio di Natale frozen out and Villareal star Giuseppe Rossi on the fringe.  In the long term, that vision is likely to bear fruit and Italy should be a factor at the World Cup in Brazil.  It would truly be a shock if this young, untested side went the distance in 2012, however.

Greece —  The Greeks are unbeaten in their qualifying group, with four wins and two draws, holding off Croatia and Israel, and they did win it all in Portugal 2004, proving that anything can happen in a short tournament such as this.  Still, with key veterans such as Theofanis Gekas and Sotirios Kyrgiakos retiring after the departure of coach Otto Rehhagel, reportedly due to differences with new man Fernando Santos, they simply do not have the solidarity of that championship side.  Without chemistry or a prolific attack, all they can do is adopt a siege mentality and wait for the walls to come crumbling down.

Turkey –  The Turks combine the stalwart resistance of their long-time enemies, the Greeks, with a skill and flair that is just a step below that of more traditional artistes, Spain and the Netherlands.  Under the tutelage of Guus Hiddink, those qualities may have come together and resulted in a surprising run of victories on the neutral battlefield of Eastern Europe.  He’s done it before with Russia in the Euros and South Korea in the World Cup. but with the charismatic, if flighty, genius almost surely headed for Stamford Bridge, Turkey will be lucky just to qualify.

The Hosts —  Poland?  Umm, sorry but no.  The Ukrainians do have some strong players and will likely make it into the latter stages on pride alone but their success in club competition has largely been down to a healthy dose of Brazilian style.  That is an illegal supplement in this competition and the withdrawal pains will be fatal to their hopes.  At thirty-four, Andriy Shevchenko is going to give it one last shot for the ages but the days of Pele and Maradona, where one player could win an entire tournament on his own, are long gone.

England – Okay, let me get behind this industrial strength barricade before I lob my opinion into this minefield.  Alright then, here goes.  Basically, England is a mess.  The squad faces psychological, chronological and sociological impediments that only grow larger and more deadly to their chances as major tournaments approach.

Psychologically, it’s simple.  So much has happened to them over the years, that, deep down, in their heart of hearts, the players don’t believe they can overcome it.  Being an England player is similar to being a recovering heroin addict.  You may tell yourself that you can slay the beast, you may have every intention of following through and you may have the best treatment and support that’s available but when you step back out on the street, your resolve crumbles every time.

Chronologically, it just isn’t their moment.  The heart of the team, Rio Ferdinand, John Terry, Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard are all in the custody of Old Man Time.  Another club season may see Jack Wilshere ready to step in for Lampard but Fabio Capello is not likely to dare the media’s wrath and trust the youngster to supplant the terminally slow Chelsea midfielder.  Instead, they’ll play alongside each other, with their contrasting styles not the best fit.   At the back, Phil Jones is also on the verge of stepping into a key role but Chris Smalling isn’t.  Until Andy Carroll settles at Liverpool and stops incurring niggling injuries, his potential will remain his most valuable asset.   Wayne Rooney, meanwhile, needs a strong partner and, thanks to the obsession with foreign talent in the Premier League, Darren Bent is his only reliable and experienced option.  Scott Parker’s leadership would ease the transition from veteran squad to young team but Capello is too reliant on the old guard, regardless of the lessons of South Africa.  Overall, England’s selection problem is similar to Italy’s - ironic when you consider their manager’s nationality – in that they have stuck with their veterans too long, thus failing to develop, again with the help of a more globally minded Premier League, an entire generation of players.

Sociologically, there’s one obstacle that they just can’t overcome.   Even if Rio, Terry, Lamps and Stevie G. were in the peak of health, even if Scott Parker anchored the midfield instead of Gareth ‘How Did He Get Past Me?’ Barry, even if Jack Wilshere became the heart of the engine, even if Wayne Rooney and Andy Carroll formed a deadly partnership and even if Fabio Capello had the squad perfectly tuned and pulling in the same direction, the media would find a way to tear it all to bits.  They’ve done it every time the Three Lions have begun to look like being kings of the jungle and they will do it again.  Why?  Because they are the pusher and it’s the England fans, not the squad, who are the addicts.  The NOTW and the Sunday Mirror put their product out there and the masses buy it, even when they know it for the deadly poison it is.  Their eyes dilate, their heads loll and drool runs down their chin as they read about what moral miscreants their heroes allegedly are.

If England fans want their squad to win, they need to stop mainlining the tawdry gossip and judge their team by its play on the pitch, rather than by its all too human frailties.

…..

Yeah, I think I may need a bigger barricade. – Martin Palazzotto 

That’s it for our review of the 2010-11 UEFA season.  It’s been real and it’s been long but most of all, it’s been really long,  Still, if you’re a glutton for punishment and have missed any portion of the ten-part series, links to each article are below.  As well, look on our home page to find the personal blogs of the many writers who contributed to the series!

1. Most Memorable Moments
2. Most Forgettable Moments
3. Player Not Named Messi Or Ronaldo Most Likely To Win Ballon d’Or
4. Club Most Likely to Win the 2012 Champions League
5. Club Most Likely To Spend Big Over The Summer
6. Player Most Likely To Make A Big Splash In The Summer Window
7. Manager Most Likely To Accept A High Profile Position
8. Young Player Most Likely To Impress At A Big Club
9. High-Profile Manager Most Likely To Remain Unemployed

Enjoy, and we’ll see you in 2011-12!

________________________________________________________________________

In England and the rest of western Europe, the transfer market is lurching from first to second gear.  Jordan Henderson is at Liverpool and Phil Jones at United, Kevin Nolan has relegated himself to West Ham and put £4 million into Newcastle Chairman Mike Ashley’s pocket.

Headed in the opposite direction is Demba Ba on a free, although the French youngster will reportedly take from the Magpies the £500,000 signing bonus and £55,000 per week he refused from West Ham.  The Parisian did have to sacrifice something for Premier League football, however.  Ashley has allegedly refused his new forward a 20% mark-down on any sporting goods, whereas Gold & Sullivan were willing to throw in up to six free video rentals per week and an unlimited supply of condoms.

It could be worse, however.  Dinamo Kiev has apparently expanded their no-bonus policy.   After refusing to reward its players for progress in the Europa League unless they won it,  the club is now apparently docking the entire side’s wages unless they win on a match-by-match basis.  That may sound like good business to some fans, who believe that their club’s stars are too pampered, yet one has to wonder whether the policy extends to the coaching staff and technical director?  Also, does the chairman refund all gate receipts and refuse any television revenues for broadcasts when the club fails to collect all three points?

Luckily for Dynamo Chairman Ihor Surkis, the Ukrainian Premier League is similar to the SPL, with his club and Shakhtar Donetsk forming a Crimean Old Firm.  Thus, his players seldom lose out on their wage packets.  If things suddenly became more competitive, however, players might begin to ask what kind of a club is Surkis running here?

While the Ukrainian boss has managed to combine the new capitalism with good old-fashioned Soviet oppression of the working class, Terek Grozny and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov has initiated a different social experiment, blending his Muslim values with good old-fashioned oppression.  The former Chechen rebel and current Vladimir Putin ally went off on a rant against the drinking culture and liberal sexual attitude of manager Ruud Gullit’s native Netherlands just prior to Terek Grozny’s match against rivals Amkar Perm’.  He then informed his hedonistic coach that he must win the match or else.

A last minute own-goal sealed the Dutchman’s fate, with the sacking made official just minutes after the final whistle.  Afterwards, Gullit speculated that he would have been given the axe in any event.  Rumours that the one-time Newcastle boss stopped at a strip club on the way to the airport are unfounded.

On the other hand, Kadyrov might just be the man to address the well documented issues between the alcohol abuse and football in Scotland.  Perhaps he and Stewart Regan can arrange a work exchange?

Meanwhile, it’s another week of football brought to you from countries where you can’t get a decent curry, let alone a frothy pint of Guinness.

England v Czech Republic (Sunday) — The England U21s will be looking to ensure that their final group match in the European Championship isn’t their final match period.  Only a win will achieve advancement and the England attack will have to be much more clinical in this encounter than in the previous two matches.   In the first match, it was left to Danny Welbeck to snatch a late draw against a brilliant David de Gea, in goal for Spain.  In their second test, their profligacy made Ukraine keeper Anton Kanibolitskiy look like a clone of the Spanish Man United target.

It has been up to the United center back pairing of the future, Chris Smalling and Phil Jones, to keep the Three Cubs in both contests, and they have done that well.  If they are to avoid the same fate as the full-grown Lions, Welbeck, Daniel Sturridge and Jordan Henderson will need to confirm why United, Chelsea and Liverpool value them so highly.  Up ’til now, the tabloids have respected their tender years and not given them the full treatment.  Anything but victory will change that.  If that isn’t motivation, I don’t know what is. – Martin Palazzotto

- On a side note, the U17s will also be in action, Sunday, against Rwanda in the World Cup in Nuevo Hidalgo, Mexico. -

Rosenborg v Tromso (Sunday) – The Norwegian Tippeligaen is in full flow, but perennial top team Rosenborg have fallen from grace and have started poorly by their high standards. The Trondheim based club won the league at a canter in 2009 and 2010, losing only one game in two full seasons and finished the last campaign unbeaten. However, the wheels have come off slightly in 2011, as the champions have lost four of their first ten games and have been in the unfamiliar lower echelons of the standings. Despite this, a 3-1 away win against fourth-placed Aalesund on Thursday night will be used as motivation for a revival.

Whilst Rosenborg have been faltering, Tromso have been prospering and sit top of the table, unbeaten and in imperious form. The residents of Alfheim Stadium have never won Norway’s top flight, but enjoyed their best performance last year, finishing third. The kicker? Tromso are now managed by ex-Rosenborg coach Per Mathias Hogmo.

So it is unbeaten, league leading Tromso against struggling champions Rosenborg – will it be a victory for the old or new of Norwegian football? – Gareth McKnight

- Speaking of frothy pints of Guinness, Gareth McKnight is a young Irishman who has settled in Australia.  Barmaids beware! An excellent writer, Gareth contributes to Goal.com and has his own blog, Ninety Minutes Online.  We’re hoping that he’ll send a few good articles our way in his spare time. - 

Lokomotiv v Spartak (Saturday) — Last week, CSKA put a sliver of daylight between themselves and the chasing pack in the Russian Premier League with a 3-0 victory over Roberto Carlos captained Anzhi Makhachkala.  They have an opportunity to widen the gap as part of a full RPL Saturday slate of matches, traveling to bottom feeders Spartak Nalchik. 

Most of the other top dogs will be hunting easy prey on the day but there is a tantalising Moscow derby between third-placed Lokomotiv and eighth-seeded Spartak.  The visitors’ inconsistent start – they’ve beaten CSKA but lost as many as they’ve won (five) in thirteen matches – makes this a game from which they must take a result.  Already four points behind Lokomotiv and a further three behind CSKA, they could end up fighting for scraps in what is going to be a long transitional season for the RPL, ahead of its first winter campaign in 2012-13.

At the moment, Artem Dzjuba and Ari are carrying the weight for the club, with seven goals between them.  ”Iron” Aiden McGeady,with just one goal in ten appearances, is lagging far behind the pace he set when first arriving in the Russian capital last winter.

For Lokomotiv, four players have stoked the engine with three strikes apiece, the most notable being Senijad Ibricic, who has done something of a Chicharito, managing his tally over four starts and seven substitutions. – Martin Palazzotto 

Kashima Antlers v Jubilo Iwata and Urawa Diamonds v Shimizu S-Pulse (Saturday) —  Last week, I focused on Gamba Osaka because they were the only member of the J-League’s big four who were in the top half of the table.  Despite having seven-goal-man Martins Adriano and young Bayern target Takashi Usama, the club only managed to pick up a single point in their two games during the week, luckily dropping them just one place in the table.

Zipping past them was defending champion Nagoya Grampus Eight, who took all six points on offer, moving up to seventh in the table.  The other two big clubs, Kashima and Urawa, are distressingly near the bottom of the standings, fifteenth and sixteenth respectively in an eighteen team league.  Both are at home and need points to get back in the race.

The Diamonds have won one split-season and one full title, while finishing runners-up twice in the last six seasons.  Kenki Haraguchi leads the club with four goals, although this fiery demeanor has already netted him three cautions.  Brazilian Edmilson has contributed a pair in support but the club will need him to step up the pace when they face mid-table side Shimizu S-Pulse.

Kashima are the J-League’s flagship club with ten league titles, overall.  Still, relegation has become a real threat in the early stages of this season.  A victory over sixth-placed Jubilo Iwata would lift them much closer to the top but it will be a challenge.  The visitors are doing exactly what the Antlers are not, protecting their own end.   Kashima has struck twelve times in their eight matches, led by Daiki Iwamasa and Shinzo Koroki, but having conceded fifteen, it’s no wonder that they are struggling. – M.P.

Colorado Rapids v Los Angeles Galaxy (Saturday) — After coming out of the gate like gangbusters, the MLS Champion Rapids have fallen off the pace somewhat.  They remain in a comfortable position, with an eye to the playoffs, but drawing almost half their matches has them looking up at six clubs in the overall standings.  A half-dozen players, including former Hull striker Caleb Folan, have found the target more than once for the Rocky Mountain side and the 0-1 victory at expansion side Portland Timbers in their last outing finally ended a run of six draws, and in a positive fashion.  To build on that win, they’ll have to defend DSG park against the league’s runaway leaders, the Galaxy.

The Rapids will be motivated by the knowledge that Landon Donovan’s absence, among others, has slowed down the rampant Galaxy.  Yet, despite two draws since the Gold Cup, which has kept him away, began, LA remains six points ahead of the nearest competition, although FC Dallas do have two games in hand.

With their sizable lead, a third consecutive draw will be fine for the Angelenos, especially against the MLS Cup holders.

Portland Timbers v New York Red Bull (Sunday) — The Red Bull has felt the sting of the Gold Cup worse than any other MLS side, with five players off on international duty.  As well, the league has sent the New Yorkers on a long road trip during the competition, perhaps to keep the nation’s number one television market focused on the continental competition.  Still, Thierry Henry and his make-weights have managed to draw back level with upstart Philadelphia Union in the Eastern Conference.

Portland, however, are not going to lay down as one might expect from a club new to the top flight.  They have made every point a challenge for opponents, as the Rapids, who escaped with a hard fought one-goal victory last week, can attest. – M.P.

USA v Jamaica (Sunday) – Lacklustre performances, including a first-ever Gold Cup group stage loss, to Panama, and a moribund 1-0 defeat over – forget minnows, we’re talking plankton – Guadeloupe haven’t kept the US from the knockout rounds.  That’s not saying much, however, as eight of the twelve original nations advance.

The price for their underwhelming play is a match against the high-flying Jamaicans.  If Mexico weren’t annihilating everyone in the other half of the bracket, the media would be heaping praise on the Reggae Boyz, who swept Group B in style.  It’s time, then, for Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey and the rest of the USMNT to play hard for ninety-minutes rather than showing up in the second forty-five.  Otherwise, it will be an embarrassingly early exit, with no Confederations Cup to use as an excuse this time around. — M.P.

Belize v Montserrat (Sunday) – Forgive me for the sentimental sidebar.  Obviously, neither of these two tiny nations are footballing powers.  Nor will the winner progress much further in CONCACAF World Cup qualifying but, in my career, I’ve had occasion to visit both countries, enjoying each trip immensely.

Montserrat is an island volcano in the Lesser Antilles, formerly a British Territory.  It’s lush tropical flora will absolutely blow you away.  Belize, formerly British Honduras, is at the base of the Yucatan Peninsula, on the Gulf of Mexico, and features some of the best underwater vistas in the region, rivalling what Montserrat has to offer on dry land.  They’ve both given me so many great moments under the sun that I thought I’d give them one small one in it. – M.P.   

Primera Division de Argentina – Final Round

River Plate v Lanus (Sunday) – It’s the final round of the Argentine Clausura but Velez Sarsfield could not wait.  They went on the road, taming Huracan 0-2, while Lanus were dropping a must-win home match against tough Argentinos Juniors.  That pair of results crowned the disappointed Libertadores semi-finalists Argentine Clausura Champions.  Congratulations, Velez!

That leaves one important game in Argentine football and the result could be an historic one.  River Plate have been threatened by relegation all season, despite the three-year algorithm installed to avoid exactly such a situation.  River are Argentina’s biggest club, having won thirty-three titles, outstripping Boca Juniors by ten.  However, mountainous debt and two horrible seasons have put them on the brink of second division football.  

It’s complicated and dependent upon other results but even a victory over Lanus on the final Sunday may not be enough to pull River clear of danger.  Conversely, even if they lose, they won’t be sent down directly.  The scenario that the Millionaros are hoping victory will preclude is a two-legged relegation playoff tie against an eager second division side intent on top-flight football.  River’s young guns have been baptised under fire this season, just to keep hope alive, but their lack of experience will be a concern in such a crucial situation.

Meanwhile, the other clubs in danger of going down are looking askance at AFA President Julio Grondona, who hand-picked the referees for the matches of all concerned and then announced that River Plate…

“is one of the teams with the best chance of avoiding a relegation playoff.” 

Argentine football history has been rife with creative solutions to help the big clubs maintain their status and now the lesser sides are wondering if the fix is in again.  Olimpo President Alfredo Dagna was resigned to the possibility, which has been speculated upon no end by the Buenos Aires tabloids.

“I don’t like this.  I think it is more smoke and mirrors than reality but one is not naïve.  All we can do is play football.”

If Lanus, who stumbled just before the finish, don’t overcome their disappointment and offer up only token resistance, the cries of conspiracy will grow all the louder.  River won’t mind, though.  Relegation amidst $20 million of debt may just put an end to one of football’s greatest clubs and perhaps its greatest derby.  The traditionalist in me almost hopes that Grondona has taken a hand in matters. – M.P.

Taça Libertadores Final – Second Leg

Peñarol v Santos (Wednesday) – If you’re not a River supporter, there is only one game that counts in South America this week, and it is an all-in match for both sides. After a goalless draw in Montevideo, the Brazilians and Uruguayans come to Sao Paolo State to see who will be the next South American champion.

This will be a real battle, with lots of influence from outside the pitch. CONMEBOL is keeping an eye on the crafty Cartolas, every bit the match for Grondona, as they seek to influence the referees and the crowd. Santos are heavy favorites but Peñarol have played all too well in the last few rounds away.

Paulo Henrique Ganso maybe back to help the home side, leaving Muricy Ramalho to decide which defensive midfielder he will sack, although he has a lot of choices there.

Watch out for Neymar.  The £45 million teenager will be hunted and he will cry a lot.  Still, he can decide the whole thing with a simple touch and dribble. – Fab Presilli

Speaking of a simple touch and dribble, have a look at Ronaldhino’s latest hi-jinks, which took place during a Flamengo training session.  Playing a little keepy-uppy wasn’t enough, so he skies the ball and ambles towards a teammate as it plummets back to earth.  Then, he lays it on the ground at his feet with one sublime touch and dummies his naïve colleague for good measure.

See you next week!

It’s going to be a bit of bare bones over the next few weeks, as most of Europe is idle, Mexico is on their summer break, Argentina is winding down and Australia has yet to kick in their new campaign.  Still, there is the Russian Premier League, the Campeonato Brasileiro, Major League Soccer, the Women’s World Cup, Copa America and the Gold Cup to keep us occupied until full football service is restored in late August.  So, if you’re really jonesing for some footy, WFC will point you in the right direction.

England v Switzerland (Saturday) – According to Fabio Capello and John Terry, the awkward transition from Rio Ferdinand’s tenure as captain of the Three Lions has been resolved to everyone’s satisfaction.  The Italian describes his relationship with Rio as “perfect” and Terry has said that the center back pairing had been in contact and cleared the air from the get-go, just as was the case when the captaincy was taken from the Chelsea defender, prior to the World Cup.  Ferdinand hasn’t confirmed the claims of his colleague and manager but his professional approach to England duty has long been exemplary.

With a dearth of options in attack, the Three Lions will need the back line to function at optimum levels in order to stay in front of second-placed Montenegro in Group G of Euro 2012 qualifying.  In attack, Wayne Rooney is suspended for an accumulation of yellow cards and Jermaine Defoe has pulled out.  That leaves Darren Bent to partner with either Bobby Zamora, who, as the season progressed, gradually approached the level of play he enjoyed under Roy Hodgson, or Peter Crouch, who, as the season progressed, began to approach the level of play I enjoy on weekends at the local park.

Luckily for Terry and Ferdinand, the Swiss have even less experience in stock on their forward shelf than England.  Veterans Alex Frei and Marco Streller have retired, leaving coach Ottmar Hitzfeld, the man who ironically criticised Jose Mourinho’s negative tactics at Real Madrid earlier in the spring, with a handful of fresh-faced young forwards to baptise in the fire of Wembley.

With the resources at hand, Hitzfeld would dearly love to play for a typical Swiss scoreless draw but his side are already six points behind their hosts and Montenegro, forcing them to open up if they are to make up ground with only four matches remaining.  Capello, meanwhile has a full complement of wingers to choose from, with some pairing from Ashley Young, Stewart Downing, Theo Walcott, James Milner and Adam Johnson surely looking to combine with the forwards, as well as Glen Johnson and Ashley Cole, to exploit the inexperienced but desperate Swiss attack.

Switzerland’s best hope might be a season-ending hangover from the English squad.

Brazil v Netherlands (Saturday) — You read the heading correctly.  This is a home game for Brazil; a true one, which will take place in Goiás, rather than Dubai, Qatar or Arsenal’s Emirate’s stadium, their home away from home in Europe.  Eschewing financial gain in favour of stoking home support ahead of the Copa America, the Selecao also have the added incentive of gaining a measure of revenge against the country which ended their South African World Cup dream, no matter how strongly keeper Julio Cesar may deny it.

“It’s not a rematch. The World Cup is a unique competition. I felt a lot that defeat – we all did [but] this is a valuable match for us. It’s good for the new coach to watch the team. We have the Copa America ahead and as we won’t have the qualifiers this time for the next World Cup, it’s more difficult for [him] to build the team.”

One area to which Mano Manezes may pay particular attention is the forward line.  Youthful sensation Neymar is expected to be rested, as he has exhausted himself leading Santos to the Copa Libertadores Final.  In his place, expect Robinho to be paired with another young gun, Internacional’s Leandro Damaio.

L’Oranje will not be so interested in the outcome of the match and, with Wesley Sneijder already ruled out, Bert van Marwijk may look to bleed some youngsters so far from home, giving tired, jet lagged veterans a rest.  Robin van Persie, however, is eager to do his bit, as he hopes to convince a reluctant van Marwijk to stay on with the national side beyond next summer’s Euros.

USA v Spain (Saturday) – I do not speak, let alone read, Spanish.  As it is Friday afternoon at the writing and I am unable to find any information in English, anywhere on-line, regarding the US team’s set-up for a game occurring in less than twenty-four hours, against the World Cup holders no less, I now feel far less guilty about neglecting my MLS column over the last few weeks.  [In fact, guess what the next one will be about!]

Every great champion has a nemesis it just can't seem to beat. The US would love to be the country which has Spain's number.

The Americans are tuning up for the Gold Cup, which kicks off this coming week, and while a defeat against the best side in the world might not reinforce their confidence, the workout that Xavi, Andres Iniesta and company will put them through, as they chase after whatever scraps of possession the Spaniards let drop by the wayside, should raise the level of their game heading into the CONCACAF championship.

Clint Dempsey may still be adjusting his body clock to US time but Landon Donovan has been in a nice run of form lately for MLS club LA Galaxy.  Tim Howard, who finished the Premier League season strongly, with a clean sheet against Chelsea, knows it’s going to be a long ninety minutes against La Furia.  Yet can the experienced trio truly relate what it will be like to face Spain to the newer members of Bob Bradley’s squad?

While Vicente del Bosque will likely limit his tired veterans to cameo appearances, Spain, like Brazil, may be looking to settle a score, this one dating back to the 2009 Confederations Cup where the Americans stunned the European champions.

The US will face my Canadians on Tuesday, opening their Gold Cup schedule and I’m afraid it will be the Canucks who will be experiencing a bit of wrathful vengeance in the wake of this friendly.

Colorado Rapids v Philadelphia Union (Saturday) — The sophomore Philadelphia Union are now holding down first place in Major League Soccer’s Eastern Conference, a point ahead of the New York Red Bulls with a game in hand.  Their twenty point output in eleven games is all the more surprising given that, until last week’s 6-0 drubbing of Toronto FC – Stanley Cup Finals aside, it’s not a good week to be Canadian – they had scored just eight goals and conceded nine.  For New York, who have lost five players to Gold Cup squads for several weeks, drawing half their matches to date may prove costly.

The Union encounter the altitude of DSG Park at perhaps just the right time.  Colorado, the MLS Cup holders are in what can only be described as a holding pattern.  The Rapids have drawn their last five matches and six of their last seven.  The match in between was a victory over Houston Dynamo but the indecisive run follows a three-game losing streak.  Several players have contributed goals, with Jamie Smith and Jeff Larentowicz on three and Omar Cummings and Irish international Caleb Folan on two.  No one has truly stepped up to lead the line, though, and the lack of a creative mid-fielder is being felt, especially as Gary Smith’s side is yielding an unspectacular goal per game behind the indifferent attack.

Philly have been stalwart on defence but that will be tested during the final thirty minutes in the Mile High City.  Offensively, Carlos Ruiz and Danny Mwanga lead the line and last year’s goal source, Sebastian LeToux has turned provider, with three assists thus far.

The Union will look to put some distance between themselves and the Red Bulls before the New Yorkers’ stars return and Gary Smith will be demanding that his side shake off the doldrums and start racking up some points.  They are champions, after all.

Flamengo v Corinthians (Sunday) —  After an embarrassing failure for Corinthians in the qualifying stage of the Copa Libertadores, followed by a nasty demonstration from so-called supporters, two club legends have departed.  Ronaldo is in retirement, free to be as fat as he pleases.  Roberto Carlos is in Russia, captaining Anzhi Makhachkala to third place in the Premier League, level on points with leaders CSKA Moscow, as well as Zenit St. Petersburg and Dinamo Moscow in an incredibly tight race, featuring eight clubs all within a result of the top spot.  That leaves Portuguese International Liedson to lead the line.  Not a bad third option.

Flamengo are being captained, if you can believe it, by none other than Ronaldhino.  The hip-hop/Soca impresario has apparently put aside his musical aspirations to focus on leading the Rio de Janeiro side back to the fore of the national tournament.  It’s been an adventurous ride in the opening two matches, with seven goals scored and three conceded in a win and a draw.

The Paulista club haven’t been quite so prolific, managing a pair of 2-1 victories over Coritiba and Gremio. If, however, everyone desired style from our club rather than results, we’d all be Arsenal fans, wouldn’t we?

River Plate v Colon de Santa Fé (Sunday) – River are six points off the pace and Colon are nestled near the bottom of the table.  Yet, the young Millionaros are fighting a desperate battle against the relegation average.  The key for a River back line, which has conceded only eleven goals in the Clausura, will be to corral Colon’s dangerous Esteban Fuertes, third in the league with eight tallies.  Three points at home against a struggling club are absolutely vital towards staving off what would be an historic fall from grace.

Velez Sarsfield v Godoy Cruz (Monday) – With three games remaining in the Argentine Clausura – and no playoff, as in its Mexican counterpart – Velez are clinging to the lead by a single point over Lanus and two over Godoy.  The league title represents their lone hope for silverware on the year, after finishing second to Estudiantes in the Apertura and then conceding a fatal away goal to Penarol this week, in the second leg of the Copa Libertadores semi-final.

Smarting from the defeat, you can bet that Velez’ prolific midfield, consisting of David Ramirez (6 goals), Maxi Moralez (4) and Augusto Fernandez and Ricardo Alvarez (both with 3) will be supporting line leader Santiago Silva (6 goals, as well) with an unmatched intensity, lest their season suddenly slip from their grasp.

Godoy’s attack is led by the partnership of Alvaro Navarro (5 goals) and Ruben Ramirez (4).  Both the midfield and defence have seen a high rate of turnover throughout the campaign, which has resulted in a much higher concession of goals than their counterparts.  It will be difficult for Godoy to hold off Velez’ wide array of attacking weapons, especially at the Jose Amalfitani.

Independiente v Lanus (Monday) – Second-place side, Lanus, are on the road against the Copa Sud America champions.  Independiente must win all three of its final matches and pray for all sorts of help to make up their five-point deficit and pass four clubs.  This match, though, would be an excellent start.

Lanus have fought an amazing fight all season, thanks to the league’s third stingiest defence (behind Argentinos Juniors & River), just to keep rampant Velez within reach.  They will rely on their back four to hold off Independiente, so that seven-goal man Diego Valeri can strike at the opposite end.  It’s that time of year in Argentina, where victory is imperative and dropped points can prove deadly.

See you next week!

]]> http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/06/04/wfcs-weekend-catch-choice-fixtures-for-4-5-june-2011/feed/ 0 Bent & Rooney resulteditor Bent & Rooney World ball breakers uefa_logo World ball breakers FIFA logo Bradley, Onweyu, Bocanegra, Donovan US Ball Breakers MLS Logo Brazil Ball Breakers Brasileiro logo Argentina Ball Breakers Argentine FA logo World ball breakers http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/04/12/ligue-1-channel-surfing-newcastles-joey-barton-speaks-french-who-knew/ http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/04/12/ligue-1-channel-surfing-newcastles-joey-barton-speaks-french-who-knew/#comments Tue, 12 Apr 2011 20:40:43 +0000 Tapesh Patel http://worldfootballcolumns.com/?p=16046 Continue reading »]]> <Click>

This article comes courtesy of a controversial interview given by Joey Barton for French magazine “So Foot”. To give you a quick 101 on the content, the headline reads “A Punchline Interview With The King Of Scraps.” Reading further, the summary does say that “English football’s bad boy is in the mood to open the floodgates. And it goes without saying that some terrible things come out.” We can’t say we weren’t warned.

Barton voiced a wide range of opinions in the piece and I could spend hours dissecting his words. However, the tabloids have already had their fun, so I’m going to try to be a bit more objective. Believe it or not, there are some actual words of wisdom offered by the Magpies’ deputy captain, even if he continues to proclaim himself England’s best midfielder.

While his attitude is sometimes, umm, shall we say questionable, the Newcastle midfielder isn’t afraid to tell it as he sees it. Thanks to the aforementioned paparazzi, English football players tend to spoon out tired clichés like Similac, so it’s refreshing to hear a little honesty. If you’ll pardon the pun, he doesn’t pull any punches when offering his side of the dust-up with former City teammate Ousmane Dabo, in which his opponent pressed charges.

“Frankly, Ousmane is a little pussy. It’s him who hit me from behind with his hand.”

He justified the fight by saying he was only defending himself and hadn’t intended to fight.Yet he freely admits that, once set loose, his instincts from a rough and tumble upbringing carried matters too far.

‘The problem is I hit him three times. But he comes to me and slap. What does he expect? That I say no problem, I forgive you?”

Moving on, Barton spoke about his ambitions for Newcastle, indicating that he would expect to see improvements in the squad before he signs a new contract. From there, he gave his analysis of the England midfield, again pulling no punches.

“Look at Jordan Henderson [against France]. He was up against [Yann] M’Vila, [Mathieu] Valbuena, [Samir] Nasri and [Yoann] Gourcuff. And he had Gareth Barry alongside him. What could they do against those players? France killed us at Wembley. We English will play the next 50 World Cups and we’ll never win one. The people in charge at the FA played football maybe 50 or 60 years ago and still think that we can win a World Cup in the same way we did in 1966. We’re too focused on tradition in England, like always having to play 4-4-2. Sometimes you need to experiment, drop a bit deeper so you have more space to move into. France, Italy and Germany have done it. We’ve been doing the same thing for 20 years.”

While most reports have focused on Barton’s poor opinion of England midfielders Gareth Barry and Frank Lampard, his analysis of the Three Lions set-up is more fascinating in its utter truth. Since his release from prison, Barton has stayed away from alcohol, preferring to sit in front of the telly, with a “Coke and a Twix bar”, watching the footy or other sports.

But you should have seen Barton after Dabo's attorney finished with him.

Clearly, he’s been paying attention. His assessment of the old boys’ club, aka the FA, is dead on. Modernisation is required quickly if England are to progress but there is no one in place willing to consider implementing full-scale change. Much like Sepp Blatter’s FIFA, the day-to-day operations at the FA seem to be more about self-preservation. The organisation has completely lost touch with fans.

In terms of formations, you only need to look at football’s best managers to see the overriding tactical shift that continues to evade the national side. Managers like Pep Guardiola and André Villas-Boas favour the 4-3-3, whereas Laurent Blanc and Jorgi Löw go with a 4-2-3-1. Both formations incorporate four lines of players, giving flexibility and cohesion to their play – something which England so sorely lacked at the World Cup. Even in Italy, there has been a revolution of sorts, with many bosses experimenting with a 3-5-2 line-up. There certainly has been an upward trend goal-wise in Serie A, this season. Yet England’s political history with India and America apparently hasn’t taught the stuffed suits at the FA which side of the revolution they should be on.

While it may be best for Joey Barton’s form to believe that he is England’s best midfielder, he isn’t. With Kevin Nolan next to him, he may not even be the best at Newcastle . Still, he’s certainly got a point regarding Barry, especially given Scott Parker’s performance against Ghana. I fail to see what Barry brings to the party, apart from an inflated pay-packet and lots of misplaced passes. If England want to truly progress, it’s time to stop watching black-and-white highlights of Geoff Hurst and sign up for the Sky-HD package.

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Ligue 1 Round-up

Last week, the title race effectively seemed to have been whittled down to a sprint-finish between Lille and Marseille. However, bad results for both have allowed others to find their way back into the chase.

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Monaco 1-0 Lille

Monaco’s major upset of league leaders earned them the Ligue 1 headlines in Round 30.  Park Chu-Young pounced on an errant back-pass from French international Adil Rami to give the principality its third win in four games, which was aided no end by the sending-off of the talented Gervinho before half-time.  Park’s influence on Monaco cannot be overestimated and if they do avoid the drop, it will be thanks in large part to his goals.

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Marseille 2-2 Toulouse

Didier Deschamps probably went into this game with high hopes, having seen rivals Lille slip up.  However, he soon learnt how they felt,  suffering a similar shock against Toulouse.  It was an 84th minute equaliser from Andre-Pierre Gignac that spared the manager’s blushes. The gap to the leaders has now narrowed to three points but the draw still represents an opportunity missed.

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Brest 2-0 Rennes

Brest, who last won against Monaco, were the surprise instigators of another upset, extending Rennes’ winless run to four games. As with Monaco, it was the usual suspects who made the difference, as Nolan Roux and Bruno Grougi provided the goals.

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Caen 1-2 PSG

PSG, meanwhile, halted a similar winless run against Caen, whose leading scorer, Youssef El-Arabi, has stated his desire to leave at the end of the season. PSG, a distant fifth before the game, are now well positioned in the race for Europe.

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Lyon 3-0 Lens

Lyon trotted out a routine win against Lens, hauling themselves back into contention. Claude Puel’s squad showed resilience, overcoming early resistance to end the match with a convincing win that gives them some hope for the title again.  It also sets up next week’s clash with PSG beautifully.

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Auxerre 2-2 St Etienne

As Monaco hauled themselves out of the relegation zone, someone had to replace them.  Auxerre were the unlucky side, settling for their 16th draw of the season. If they are to escape the drop, winds against upcoming opponents, Toulouse and Lens, will be crucial, especially as Marseille, Montpellier and Lyon still loom.

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Next weekend may give us a glimpse of who will be champions but with so many twists and turns, the only certainty is that nothing is.

Au revoir!

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Here’s a rundown on how this international week affected the group stages…

This week saw no change at the top of Group A, as Germany have all but sewn up 1st place. Only a minor miracle could see the chasing pack catch Joachim Low’s men. Although die Mannschaft did lose Tuesday’s friendly match with Australia, they first turned out a comfortable 4-0 win over Kazakhstan, when it mattered, with 2 goals each from World Cup heroes Thomas Müller and Miroslav Klose.

Neighbours Belgium will be the happiest team in the group after this set of International fixtures.  They move up to second with wins over Austria and Azerbaijan.  A commanding performance in Austria, with two goals from Alex Witsel, followed by a solid 4-1 victory at home against one of the group’s minnows was enough to leap-frog Turkey into second.

The Turks, meanwhile, compounded Austria’s woes with a 2-0 triumph.   Tallies from Arda Turan and Gonul set up a mouth-watering clash in Belgium this June, with the winner in that match possibly deciding who finishes second.

For Austria the campaign is all but over.  The two defeats this week all but erased their chances.  At first glance, it doesn’t look so bad, 3 points behind, with a game in hand but their next two fixtures are home and away against the German juggernaut.  Any points from those matches will have the Vatican investigating, as it would certainly qualify as a minor miracle to derail Joachim Löw’s runaway train. – Andrew Gibney

♦   ◊   ♦

B is the most hotly contested of the nine groups as everyone makes the turn for home in this phase of the competition.  Three nations share the top spot, with Slovakia’s better record to date against Russia and Ireland giving them temporary bragging rights.Meanwhile, Armenia has made their presence known, just 2 points off the pace.

Coming into this slate of fixtures, the Russians held the edge but weren’t able to find a way through the stalwart Armenian defence in Yerevan.  The nil-nil result opened the door for both the Slovakians and Irish to run them down.  Slovakia took an uninspiring but effective 1-o win home with them from Andorra and the Boys in Green scored twice in the early doors, through Aiden McGeady and Robbie Keane, the latter capitalising on a fumbled save by Edin Nuredinovski.  Ivan Trickovski had a goal up his sleeve and pulled it out just before the break but Giovanni Trappatoni’s squad shut the door in the second half and have put themselves in another unusual position in a UEFA qualifying tournament.

As tight as it is at the top, the performances of Andorra and Macedonia in 1-goal losses serves notice that no Group B match can be taken for granted as 2012 creeps closer. – Martin Palazzotto

♦   ◊   ♦

Italy finally ended a 17-year winless streak on Slovenian soil to move five points clear at the top of Group C.  A solitary goal from Brazilian born Thiago Motta was enough to give the Azzurri all 3 points in Ljubljana on Friday night.  Slovenia stalled once more on Tuesday evening when they were stifled by plucky Northern Ireland in Belfast.

Serbia are now tied in the runners-up position, blowing their chance to go 2nd outright by only picking up 4 points from their 2 games.  It’s already been a costly campaign for Serbia, who infamously forfeited October’s game against Italy due to their traveling support inciting violence and throwing missiles and flares at their own players.  That episode led to Friday’s game with the Northern Irish being played behind closed doors.

After coming from behind to beat Nigel Worthington’s Green Army, the Serbs must have thought they had done all the hard work. However, Estonia are no longer considered minnows of international football and they followed up October’s win in Belgrade with a draw in Tuesday’s return fixture.  Consequently, they lie just a point behind the teams sharing 2nd and have a game in hand. Estonia and Slovenia both visit bottom feeding Faroe Islands in June, with the Baltic state also visiting Italy in the same week.

Northern Ireland are seven points off the pace, in 5th. With their hopes of automatic qualification nonexistent, home games against the Faroes in August and Serbia one month later are must-win if Worthington’s squad still harbour playoff hopes. — Shaun Best

♦   ◊   ♦

It was mixed fortunes for the teams chasing Les Bleus in Group D. Romania bounced back from defeat in Bosnia to see off Luxembourg 3-1 at home, which just about keeps them in touch for 2nd place. That gave Belarus the chance to increase their lead over the Romanians but they were stunned by Salihi’s 62nd minute goal which gave Albania the 1-0 win and possession of 3rd place level on points with the Belorussians.

Laurent Blanc’s French side started the weekend off with a 2 goal victory over lowly Luxembourg.  Phillippe Mexes and Yoan Gourcuff scored to keep France’s lead at the top at 4 points. A goalless draw with Croatia in Tuesday’s friendly was a much tougher test than the qualifier but it would take a brave man to bet against France winning the group.

The dark horse for Group D has to be Bosnia-Herzegovina, only five points behind France and they have a game in hand over the other teams in contention. After going a goal down to Romania it was Victor Ibisevic and Man City’s Edin Dzeko that fired the home side back in front, how crucial will Dzeko’s 83rd minute winner be in Bosnia’s campaign for a place at Euro 2012. With Romania away and Albania at home to come in June if they could pick up maximum points any slip up from France away at Belarus could see Bosnia put pressure on Blanc and his men.

First, however, the Bosnians must sort out their differences with UEFA and each other.  Their three-headed presidency, forged due to the lack of trust between the 3 ethnic factions, Serbs, Croats and Bosniaks (ethnic Muslims), runs afoul of UEFA’s requirement that federations be headed by one man, rather than a committee.  This week the three factions voted unanimously to maintain their current structure and now face possible suspension.  Should that occur, it remains to be seen whether all group results involving Bosnia Herzegovina will be stricken, perhaps altering the table significantly. – Andrew Gibney

♦   ◊   ♦

The Netherlands made it back to back wins over Hungary and in the process maintained their perfect start in Group E, which now reads 6 wins in a row.  While the win in Budapest was comfortable, victory in Amsterdam was far less so.  Despite knocking in 5 goals, to make it 9 over the course of the tie, the Magyars came roaring back to score 3 goals in Amsterdam after being blanked at home..

While Bert van Marwijk was sufficiently pleased in the first game to compare l’Oranje to FC Barcelona, their porous defence at home had them looking more like Arsenal. Yet, as with the Gunners, goals from multiple sources made up for the shortcomings in the back.  In the 4-0 away victory, Rafael van der Vaart, Ibrahim Afellay, Dirk Kuyt and Robin van Persie all contributed.  In the 5-3 shootout at the Amsterdam ArenA, Wesley Sneijder and Ruud van Nistlerooy joined the fun, with van Persie and Kuyt, who had a brace, making the score sheet again.

Unfortunately, Hungary will receive no credit for pushing the Dutch, first coming from behind to take a 2-1 lead and then leveling again at 3 before Kuyt finished off the game.  Worse for Total Football fans, the soft defending may see van Marwijk return to a more pragmatic style.

Hungary’s defeats meant Sweden could leapfrog them into second spot, if they overcame a Moldovan side that have caused one or two near upsets. For much of that match,it looked as though Moldova might scrape out the draw.  However,  late goals from Mikael Lustig and Sebastian Larsson made sure that Sweden would get the valuable three points, despite Alexandr Suvorov grabbing a consolation goal in the last minute.  With the Swedes holding two games in hand, the Magyars need a good deal of assistance before they can even begin to think of tiebreakers.

When you look at the bottom two squads, you wonder how Finland can be on just 3 points, being 4 goals to the good overall.  Then you see that lowly San Marino are on the verge of conceding 30 goals in the group and have yet to score themselves; more like plankton than minnows.   – Mohamed Moallim

♦   ◊   ♦

Before this week’s matches, Group F was shaping up as a two-horse race, with Greece trying to keep pace with Croatia and Georgia, Israel and Latvia all hoping for one of the pair to stumble.  Well, hope springs eternal and on Saturday Georgia managed to trip up Slaven Bilic’s Croatia at the Lokomotivi Stadium in Tbilisi.  The lone goal of the match, at the death, came from Levan Kobiashvili and plunged the group into chaos.

Somehow, Greece managed to come out of a poorly played game, in which Socrates Papaststhopolous was sent off in the 84th minute, smelling like roses.  Vasilis Torisidis’ header, the game’s final action, gifted the Greeks a 1-0 victory, vaulting them into the top spot in the group.

It was the Israelis who made the biggest move up the table, however.  They followed their 2-1 win at home over Latvia on Saturday with a 1-0 triumph over a heady Georgia side.  The 6 points put them level with Croatia, if 4 goals behind.  Georgia is right there as well, just 2 points behind Greece.  Meanwhile, the Latvians’ failure to eke out a result has seen them relegated to the spoiler’s role.

The June fixtures see Croatia get their chance for revenge against the Georgians, while the Israelis travel to Latvia and Greece hosts stubborn Malta.  The match at Karaiskakis Stadium in Piræus will be the very definition of a grinding out a result, no matter how it goes, but the hosts must see the importance of taking 3 points against the cellar dwellers to consolidate their newfound lead, while their pursuers tangle with each other. – Martin Palazzotto

♦   ◊   ♦

With every country midway through the campaign, the picture in Group G has become quite focused.  At the top, England and Montenegro are level but have a seemingly insurmountable lead on Switzerland and Bulgaria.  Meanwhile, with Gary Speed at the helm instead of John Toshack, fate continues to conspire against Wales.

The Three Lions went to Cardiff on Saturday, buffeted by gale force winds from an unceasing media storm.  John Terry’s reinstatement as captain had the tabloids in a furore.  When the NOTW and the Sun pull a celebrity down from their pedestal, they do not want him/her to get back up again, redemption being nothing but a threat to their power.  No matter, they would soon have another target, as Wayne Rooney’s caution will see him sit out the Switzerland tie, with Fabio Capello foolishly confiding that Rooney hadn’t known he was flirting with suspension.  The Italian’s birthday is in June.  Perhaps we can all chip in and get him an English/Italian Rosetta Stone so that he can communicate with his players.

Without Gareth Bale to threaten the visitors, the Welsh quickly found themselves on the back foot and down 2 goals in the opening minutes.  Meanwhile, the only other Group G encounter never really got going.  Bulgaria and Switzerland seemed content with each other’s company in the table and plodded through a scoreless draw.  Neither of these two countries has much hope of progressing but each of them faces one of their targets in June, a pair of potential 6-point matches that could drastically alter the landscape in the group. – Martin Palazzotto

♦   ◊   ♦

At the halfway point in Group H, 3 teams are still in the running.  With everyone on 4 games, Norway are the surprise top dogs, 3 points clear of Portugal and Denmark.  Portugal sat out this last round of qualifiers but will be happy that the results did not leave them ground to make up.

The Norwegians were held to a 1-1 draw by the Danes, thus ending their 100% record. Meanwhile, the other Scandinavian team in the group, Iceland were frozen out in a Cypriot stalemate.  Norway still have to go to Portugal and Denmark, so qualification is by no means sewn up.

There’s the potential for a three-way tie come June’s fixtures should Denmark beat rock-bottom Iceland and Portugal topple the group leaders.

Portugal’s rocky start, held to a 4-4 draw at home to Cyprus and then losing 1-0 in Norway hasn’t hurt them too badly, having since rebounded with a pair of 3-1 wins over Denmark and Iceland.  A final day meeting between Denmark and Portugal in Copenhagen could potentially decide this group. Cyprus and Iceland are now competing for pride  and their battle to avoid the cellar should be decided after September’s meeting in Reykjavik. – Shaun Best

♦   ◊   ♦

As Scotland took on the mighty Brazil this past week, the rest of Group I went on about their competitive business.

World Cup champions Spain joined the Dutch in the 100% club, with 5 wins out of 5, after triumphs over the Czech Republic & Lithuania. They had to come from behind to beat the Czechs 2-1 thanks to a David Villa brace. It was slightly easier in Lithuania as La Furia ran out 3-1 winners thanks to Xavi, Juan Mata and an own goal.  There’s nothing wrong with charity but if Lithuania were in a generous mood, it strikes me that San Marino have much more need of help than the Spaniards.

In the only other tie of the week, the Czech Republic comfortably beat minnows Liechtenstein 2-0. A Milan Baros strike after three minutes calmed the nerves of the home side.  Perhaps it was too strong a sedative, as they then waited until the seventieth minute to ensure all three points on a strike from Michal Kadlec .

So, Spain look certain to qualify, as we all expected. The Czechs are holding down 2nd place. Scotland will need to beat them at Hampden and also win their game in hand if they are to wrest away the playoff berth. Lithuania are in a similar position to the Scots, while Liechtenstein are rooted at the bottom of the table, providing a counterweight of futility to Spain’s perfection. – Scott Johnston

♦   ◊   ♦

See you in June for the next round of matches!

Wales failed to give anything close to a competitive performance on the day. It has to be said they had far less playing resources to call on than their opponents, but so poor was their performance it was quite hard to tell how England did themselves.

The game lost a little of its edge before it even began with the news that Gareth Bale, the terror of defences all over Europe this season, was out injured and it lost a whole lot of its edge when Frank Lampard calmly slotted away a penalty in the seventh minute.  Finally, when Darren Bent slammed home England’s second eight minutes later, the edge disappeared altogether and so did any slim hope Wales had of picking up their first point in this qualifying campaign, let alone snatching a win.

The match began in raucous fashion, with the English national anthem being booed, and the ill will spilled onto the pitch.  The game got underway in feisty fashion with Craig Bellamy elbowing Ashley Cole off the ball (ahh, shame) before squaring up to Wayne Rooney. The latter has not yet learned to harness his aggression and needlessly picked up a yellow card, which will rule him out of the game against Switzerland, in June. Amazingly, given all the criticism he’s received for lack of communication with the players, Capello revealed in his post game press conference that Rooney hadn’t known he was in danger of suspended.

“Rooney didn’t realise. I just told him it was not a good booking. He said ‘Why?’ He didn’t remember that he got booked.

This is a good thing to go over with a player in pre-match preparations, Fabio.  When Rooney was replaced by James Milner, with 20 minutes to go, one had to wonder if that was, in part at least, to make sure England weren’t reduced to ten men.

The new 4-3-3 shape with Lampard and Jack Wilshere, the creative forces in midfield alongside the hustling ball winner Scott Parker bossed the centre of the park.  It will be interesting to see what Capello does when Steven Gerrard is fit again. Of course, this new shape demonstrates that the Italian is not wedded to a 4-4-2  - another bizarre accusation, as it’s England that over the years has been so tactically inflexible.

Wayne Rooney wonders why he suddenly has a nagging feeling, as though he left the faucet running in the bath.

His side was so out of this match, that I began by flicking between the football and the cricket but with Andrew Strauss’ men being handed their arses on a plate by the Sri Lankans, I ended up spending an increasing amount of time flicking to the news to see a group of angry students, protesting rising tuition fees, put in a world-class performance in an event England truly excels at – smashing things up.

**Roger Domeneghetti is an occasional contributor to WFC and has his own blog on footy and cricket – Who Ate All The Goals?

It’s an international weekend, which means Fergie and Wenger can complain about the referees to their heart’s content and Carlos Tevez, Arjen Robben and Antonio di Natale will enjoy a week off.  Most importantly, John Terry will be sporting the armband for England but Craig Bellamy hasn’t revealed whether he’ll be playing a wedge or a nine iron.  In any event, here’s the cream of the international crop, according to our cracked WFC writing staff.

Wales v England, Euro 2012 Group G (Saturday) – The Welsh haven’t had much to crow about in international competition beyond a lone World Cup appearance in 1958 and a final eight berth in the 1976 Euros.  Yet, a new generation of Dragons led by Aaron Ramsey, Gareth Bale and veteran Craig Bellamy have the firepower to cause concerns for group favourites England.  Unfortunately for the Welsh, their most exciting player, Bale, has been ruled out of the contest with a wonky hamstring.  Thus, Gary Speed’s side will be hard-pressed to cope with a Three Lions squad which is eager to get back on track after a dismal World Cup and must also make up ground on Montenegro, who lead them by 3 points, having played one game extra.

The press has played up every angle of the rivalry between the neighbours, dredging up Bellamy’s damning assessment of reinstated England captain John Terry and criticising Capello’s call-up of Wolves’ winger Matt Jarvis.  With the absence of Bale and the captaincy issue finally settled, England should take all 3 points but, as with any derby, form goes out the window and Wales will be confident when they take the pitch at the Millennium Stadium. – Martin Palazzotto

♦   ◊   ♦

Brazil v Scotland, Friendly (Sunday) – I’m really looking forward to this one as I will be in the Emirates Stadium to witness it first hand. I have always wanted to see the magical Yellow Brazilian tops up close.

For Brazil, Robinho and Ronaldinho have not been selected but they will bring hotshot youngsters Neymar from Santos and Lucas of rival Sao Paolo, with a view to next years London Olympics. They do have some of the old guard with Lucio, Elano & Julio Cesar in the squad.  I am  very interested to see if classy defenders David Luiz and Thiago Silva can play alongside each other.

For Scotland, the question is will they be able to cope?  Allan McGregor will have a busy time in goal and Charlie Adam has a lot of pressure on his shoulders to make the Scots tick, whilst the lack of striking options means Kenny Miller will play as a lone striker yet again.  Still, whatever the score, the Tartan Army will revel in taking over London for the weekend and trying their hand at a bit of Samba dancing. – Scott Johnston

There is only one acceptable outcome possible for this match, a Brazilian win. The Seleção have been in a rare run of poor form, with consecutive losses to Argentina and France. Although coach Mano Menezes seem to be fairly secure in his job, he is none too happy with recent results. To change that, he has recalled veterans like Julio Cesar, Maicon and Lucio, who have been out of the squad since their early exit in South Africa.

Real Madrid fullback Marcelo’s excellent form has earned him a spot among the starting eleven but the big surprise is at the forward position. With Nilmar and Pato sidelined due to injuries, Leandro Damião will start the match alongside Neymar. Damião has been an impressive force at Internacional, here in Brazil, leading the line in the Campeonato Gaucho (Porto Alegre State Championship) and the Copa Libertadores. Both the youngsters and returning veterans will wish to impress the coach – and the media – to prove that they deserve a spot in this year’s Copa América, the first official step on the road to 2014. – Fab Presilli

♦   ◊   ♦

Germany v Kazakstan, Euro 2012 Group (Saturday) – Top v bottom meet in Group A and surely no one can look past Germany for this game.  It would take a miracle for Bernd Storck to lead his side past one of the strongest teams in Europe. Joachim Low’s latest squad has a mixture of the World Cup side and some young faces pushing through. The Dortmund trio of Mat Hummels, Mario Götze and Sven Bender might get a chance to show their worth. – Bachelor-no-more Andrew Gibney

♦   ◊   ♦

Luxembourg v France, Euro 2012 Group D (Friday) – The big story in France is the call-up of two of the ringleaders in the World Cup training ground strike, Franck Ribery and Patrice Evra. While Laurent Blanc has claimed the door is open for the transgressors, their presence can be put down at least partially to injuries, with normal starters Eric Abidal and Mathieu Valbuena sidelined for both clashes this week. The French media’s obsession with this one story more than faintly echoes the crazed attention given by the British tabloids to John Terry taking back the armband.

Both Evra and Ribery may go straight into the starting line-up,the latter likely assigned the right wing, although the possibility remains he could start in place of Malouda on the left. Otherwise, Les Bleus should look familiar to their recent outings.  The one disputed territory for the Luxembourg match is midfield, where Blanc may deploy the more attacking Yoann Gourcuff instead of his former Bordeaux favourite Alou Diarra.  That means, then, that Karim Benzema – who stunned Brazil last time out – will lead the line.

Predicted line-up for Friday:  G – Hugo Lloris/ D – Bacary Sagna, Adil Rami, Phillippe Mexès, Patrice Evra/ MF - Yoann Gourcuff, Yann M’Vila, Franck Ribéry, Samir Nasri, Florent Malouda/ F – Karim Benzema

France v Croatia, Friendly (Tuesday) — This match will be a much better spectacle and could see some of the younger players, like Mamadou Sakho, Abou Diaby, Jeremy Menez, and Kevin Gameiro, given their chance. Rest assured, however, that Blanc will still take this game very seriously, looking to follow up impressive wins – in display, if not in scoreline – against Brazil and England with yet another at the Stade de France. – Tapesh Patel

♦   ◊   ♦

Hungary v Holland – (Friday) then Holland vs. Hungary (Tuesday) Euro 2012 Group E — Two countries with a proud and rich footballing traditions meet for the first time in a competitive game in over two decades on Friday.   Then, as if to make up for lost time, they do it all again on Tuesday.  The Dutch go into the first game in Budapest without a competitive defeat over 90 minutes, under the managerial reign of Bert van Marwijk, but have a couple of injuries to deal with.  Most notable will be the continuing absence of influential winger Arjen Robben.  The Bayern Munich man, since his initial return early this year, has been riding the crest of a wave and would have benefited the national team greatly.

Yet his misfortune will once again be Ibrahim Afellay’s gain.  The ex-PSV captain who moved to sunny Catalonia in the winter transfer window, has greatly benefited from a run out in the Oranje first team, giving a stellar performance against Sweden in the last qualifier game.  However, a lack of minutes at Barcelona may go against him, although I can’t see who else van Marwijk would opt for in that wide left berth.  There’s Urby Emanuelson but, like Afellay, he hasn’t featured much for AC Milan – hardly, in truth.

Another worry for van Marwijk is who will replace Maarten Stekelenburg in the Dutch goal?  The Ajax keeper has done very well to fill the void left by Edwin van der Sar’s international retirement. I’d expect FC Utrecht keeper Michel Vorm to deputise, being the best of what is a very average bunch in reserve.

On the other side there will be a familiar face, in PSV winger Balázs Dzsudzsák, who is confident that his side can get a result but is urging caution.  As the lack of recent meetings between the sides is largely down to the Hungarians’ long absence from the top echelon of European powers, guarded optimism is certainly understandable.  Still, the Magyars would love to surprise the Dutch much as the Golden Team surprised the World at the 1954 World Cup. – Mohamed Moallim

♦   ◊   ♦

Lithuania v Spain, Euro 2012 Group I (Tuesday) — Defending Euro champions Spain visit Lithuania in midweek, bidding to cement their place in next year’s finals.  Currently sitting on top of Group I with a 100% record, two wins from their next two games should be enough to take the Spanish through.  While the hosts will have warmed up with a friendly against Poland, Spain have to negotiate a tricky game with Czech Republic.  Yet, neither match will be a siesta in the sunshine.  A Fernando Llorente double helped Spain to a 3-1 win over the Baltic state back in October.  The Athletic Bilbao hitman could be called upon to deliver once more, with first choice marksmen Fernando Torres and David Villa currently out of form.  Injured trio Cesc Fabregas, Carlos Puyol and Pedro miss out, so Javi Martinez and Juan Mata have been promoted from the Under-21 squad.

Lithuania have four points from their opening three games, with a credible 1-0 victory away against the Czechs being their highlight thus far.  That said, qualification was always going to be hard after being paired with Spain.  Defenders Marius Stankevicius (Valencia), Marius Zaliukas (Hearts), midfielder Arvydas Novikovas (St Johnstone), and striker Tomas Danilevicius (Livorno) are the notable inclusions in a 26 man squad. – Shaun Best

♦   ◊   ♦

Portugal v Chile, Friendly (Saturday) — Without Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese side has to rely on some new names, like André Santos, and some old ones, like Nelson. Liédson could, or better, should be there with his compatriots, as he is in excellent form in Brazil, playing for Corinthians.

Mauricio Pinilla is usually the big name for Chile, however he is probably out due to an injury. Hector Mancilla has been playing well in Mexican side Tigres and will have his chance to appear in the national spotlight. This will be a big test for La Roja under new coach Claudio Borghi, who must keep the squad on track for the Copa America in the wake of Marcelo Bielsa’s protracted departure.

After facing Chile, Portugal will pick up where they left in the Euro qualifiers, playing Finland in Aveiro. – Fab Presilli

♦   ◊   ♦

Slovenia v Italy, Euro 2012 Group C (Friday) — “We’ll win easily on Friday, 2-0. More than that, I’ll say Slovenia will have 70 per cent possession. Am I exaggerating? No.” – Former Slovenian great Zlatko Zahovic, speaking to an Italian newspaper this week.

Cesare Prandelli hopes to do what no other Italian national manager has done before:  win in Slovenia.  Lucky to draw in 1994, ten years later, the Azzurri were narrowly beaten by a late strike, which saw Slovenia leapfrog them in their qualification group.  A defeat in Ljubljana will bring about the same result but perhaps third time’s a charm?

The last four meetings have been decided by a solitary goal, so defence will be key.  Two survivors from the 2004 defeat, Gianluigi Buffon and Alberto Gilardino, are in the squad but there is no place for the country’s top marksman, Antonio Di Natale. At age 33, Toto is being snubbed in favour of younger players for Prandelli’s next generation Italy.

Also out of the squad are Daniele De Rossi and Mario Balotelli after both fell afoul of Prandelli’s new code of ethics.  Prandelli has confirmed he will lineup with a 4-3-1-2 formation, with former Sampdoria teammates Antonio Cassano and Giampaolo Pazzini reuniting upfront.  Italy tested the new team and formation in an hour-long game against the Under 18 side with the seniors winning 4-0.

Seven members of the Slovenian squad currently ply their trade in Serie A.  They have tasted defeat once so far in this campaign as the usually goal-shy Northern Ireland emerged with a 1-0 victory back in September.  Since then, the home side have drawn with Serbia, thrashed the Faroe Islands and narrowly beaten Estonia.  Top scorer Tim Matavz may start from the bench as the Groningen forward is carrying an injury. – Shaun Best

♦   ◊   ♦

USA v Argentina, Friendly (Saturday) — Carlos Tevez. That has been the main name coach Sergio Batista keeps leaving out of the Albiceleste squad.  While Batista claims it is not a punishment for the Man City player opting out of the Brazil friendly, claiming injury, only to play 90 minutes for his club just days later, the diminutive striker has been a dynamo for the Eastlands outfit.  To be fair, Tevez did miss the Chelsea match with a niggly groin but has been cleared for next weekend’s Sunderland game.

Lionel Messi is the big name on hand but the Americans are a real test for the Argentinians, ahead of a home tournament. Javier Pastore and Nicolas Gaitan will form the rest of the offensive trio in New Jersey. The goalie will be a last minute surprise, although Agustin Marchesin of Lanus is the most probable starter. Argentina plays against Costa Rica next Tuesday. I expect two wins but with less than impressive football leading more fans and reporters loudly calling for Tevez’ return. – Fab Presilli

♦   ◊   ♦

See you next week, when we can all tap into our inner Craig Bellamy and get back to the club grind.

Have you ever been hit by an idea that seemed so great, at the time, that you couldn’t tell the difference between the dazzling light of euphoria and a bomb going off in your face?  That happened to me yesterday.  I was looking through the WFC archives and I noticed that we hadn’t written an Over A Pint column in ages.

For those of you who don’t know, the Pint is where two or more of our writers get together and tackle hot button issues.  Remember the fuss about Mikel Arteta?  We delved into that.  Fans taking on owners?  Check.  A winter break in the Prem?  Check.  The trouble is, there hasn’t been an issue lately which presents a moral dilemma.  Andy Gray and Richard Keys?  Everyone agrees they’re chauvinists.  The World Cup draws?  The best defense of Sepp Blatter is, yes, he jobbed England and the US, but they knew FIFA was corrupt going in.  Was Mike Ashley wrong to sack Chris Hughton?  Please.  There just hasn’t been anything happening of late worth debating.  Bitching about, yes.  Intellectual discourse?  Forget it.

Then it occurred to me.

There’s a hash of international friendlies coming up this mid-week.  We have a plethora of international writers.  One of them is even Danish and the Three Lions are heading off to Copenhagen on Wednesday.  Wouldn’t it be great to send Kristian Anker-Moeller and… oh, say… Roger Domeneghetti off to have a brew or three and chat about the match.  Great?  It’d be dynamite!

Only, the problem with dynamite is that you have to be careful how you handle it.  Both Roger and Kris were enthusiastic about the idea.  Perhaps a bit too enthusiastic.  When they showed up at the office to pick up the WFC Visa card, I began to have reservations.

Roger was dressed literally from head to toe in England gear.  I think he had on three or four kits, each for a different player.  England warm-ups.  A massive England down filled parka.  The regulation England scarf.  He even had England mittens and a red knit toque, with the England badge and a blue pom-pom on top.  And official England training boots.  He was crestfallen when I explained they were just heading out to a pub, not to the game itself.

Kristian wasn’t so over the top.  He was just wearing a Nicklas Bendtner jersey and carrying a framed, autographed portrait of Morten Olsen, tucked under his arm.  The disturbing thing is that he apparently drags that potted palm about with him everywhere.

At any rate they snatched up the Visa card and made a break for it while I was rummaging in my drawer for some tylenol.  When I caught up to them in the pub, to record their conversation, the place was packed but the tables around them were surprisingly empty.  It seemed a nice place, lots of woodwork and all, but Roger and Kris were already at each other.  There was no time to soak up the atmosphere, so I placed the recorder on the table and settled in to have a listen…

Kristian: Denmark will claim a big scalp on Wednesday by beating England. Fabio Capello’s stint as England coach hasn’t exactly been a honeymoon, whereas Morten Olsen has been in charge of the Danish national team for a decade. Our team sheet doesn’t have the fancy names that yours does, but everyone in the side knows his role exactly. It’s a balanced squad and a tightly knit group of people who’ve been together for years, and that will be decisive against the English superstars who consistently fail to live up to expectations!

Roger: Best League in the world, best team in the world – simple. That’s why England has so much strength in depth and Fabio Capello has the luxury of picking virtually unknown young players.

Kyle Walker is congratulated after his late goal against Fulham.

Kyle Walker’s a perfect example; just ask Gary Neville – that proud English Lion – hangs up his boots for good, up pops a ready-made replacement. Did you see the way Walker announced himself to the world at the weekend? What a fantastic run and strike at the weekend against Fulham. That’s the thing about the EPL – it’s a talent factory.

That 35-yarder would have beaten better keepers than Mark Schwarzer and there’s already a young English lad biting at his heels – David Stockdale.

The EPL’s is so strong that he’s getting picked for England, even though he’s warming the bench at Fulham. Mind you he has played a few games – was brilliant against Manchester United, even saved a penalty.

This is the thing about English football, people say there’s no strength in depth but it’s simply not true.

Kristian: You call it strength in depth, I call it lack of direction. The last time England had a sense of direction was under Svennis and that was a terrible direction. What I mean is, there’s no settled formation, no ideal starting 11, no consistency and no team spirit. The plethora of players available, which I don’t deny, is more of a weakness than a strength when there’s obviously no consensus on anything and no togetherness in the group of look-at-me superstars.

In Denmark, on the other hand, Morten Olsen has been playing the same 4-3-3 formation all along. Sure, we don’t have David Stockdale (who?), but the players know the system, and their role in it, in their sleep. For Denmark, the team is the star.

Roger: Look at me?  Look at me, he says!  Our players are humble, not like your Nicklas Bendtner. I had to laugh when I saw he’d been marked as 10 out of nine for confidence or ‘self perceived competence’.  If you ask me, 8 out of the 10 is for self-perceived and 2 is for competence, if that!

Confidence is important, granted, but it’ll always be beaten by English heart and passion, which is something Arsenal clearly lack. How many times have they thrown away big leads this season? First Spurs, now Newcastle?

You’d never see England’s stout yeomen shipping four goals in one game like that!

Bendtner followed up his psyche exam by boasting he deserved £50,000 per week for sacrificing his playing time for the good of the team.

Kristian: Sure Bendtner is cockier than the average guy, but he is arguably the most skilled Danish striker in a generation. Also, the statistics give plenty of reason for confidence. Denmark have played England three times under Morten Olsen. The last two games yielded Danish victories of 3-2 at Old Trafford and 4-1 in Copenhagen. So maybe it’s you who’s too cocky?

As for your talk about heart and passion, there may be something to it when you play Scotland or France (or Germany?) but a trip to Denmark is apparently not for the faint of heart, as the withdrawals of Steven Gerrard, Peter Crouch and so on bear witness to. If that’s indicative of the passion playing for England inspires, bring it on!

….

Roger was about to reply to that but he wasn’t quite as quick as the publican, who had apparently, along with his patrons, been listening in.  No surprise, really.  It would have been impossible not to, as the pair had been getting progressively louder.  It’s difficult, in layman’s terms, to describe exactly what the barman did with Kristian’s potted palm but the doctors tell me that Kris will be much better in a few days and should be able to sit down without the aid of a cushion within a month.

Roger will be fine, if a little discomfitted after having his stomach pumped.  Apparently, the establishment is frequented by Gunners supporters.  I wouldn’t have thought it possible to eat a whole coat in one sitting and still have room for a woolen hat and mittens for dessert.

Me?  How did I escape any serious injury?  Erm, luckily, I was under the table when the ruckus began, trying to open the cap on my tylenol bottle.

On the Second Day of Christmas, FIFA gave to me

Two Keeper’s Gloves

and A Whistle Happy Referee

I don’t know if you’re also a fan of the sweet science but do you remember Roberto Duran?  He was the hard-nosed Panamanian middle-weight who could knock virtually anyone out with either hand.  He finally met his match against Sugar Ray Leonard, who beat him twice.  The second encounter was the infamous “No mas, No mas!” bout wherein Duran literally held up his hands and capitulated, very early on, when he realised that he had no solution to Leonard’s speed and combinations.  For his punishing style, however, Duran had come by the nickname, ‘Hands of Stone.’

Unfortunately for Three Lions fans, an Englishman, also named Robert and who wears gloves when he steps into the arena, has now laid claim to the same moniker.  The problem is not one of copyright infringement.  It’s that, for a goalkeeper, the term is not quite so complimentary.  Robert Green must live every day with a single mistake that, to the regret of no one more-so than the man himself, was committed on the biggest stage in front of the entire planet.

The Gaffe-r

What is it about donning an England shirt that brings out the worst in players?  David Beckham’s 100+ caps are highlighted by a World Cup sending off.  Wayne Rooney’s CV includes his foolish retaliation, to the baiting from Cristiano Ronaldo, and his general absence in South Africa.  How many England players have missed key attempts from the penalty spot?

Yet, it’s far easier for outfield players to outlive their gaffes than it is for keepers.  Like the referees we discussed yesterday, there is very little upside to the job.  Goaltenders do garner praise for spectacular saves and the very rare goal.  Mostly though, they escape the public eye until they make a mistake and, like match officials, although perfection is demanded from them, they are merely mortal.  As the sayings go, shit happens and when it does, it usually hits the fan.

For Green, the stink began on a promising evening, under a starry sky in Rustenburg.  It was the long anticipated encounter between the two great empires of Western Civilisation, England, who had given the game to the world, and the United States of America, who were just beginning to truly embrace it.  Of course, there was a 60-year-old score to settle, as the US had beaten the English 1-0, in 1950.  Ironically, that was England’s first World Cup and the Americans were actually veterans of the competition.  How things can change.

At any rate, the Three Lions jumped out to an early lead, courtesy of Captain Fantastic, Steven Gerrard.  On 4 minutes, he came flying in to latch onto a short pass from Emile Heskey (the exception to the rule that outfield players can outlive their shortcomings) and quickly slotted the ball past a helpless Tim Howard.  It began to appear that all the hype that had been heaped upon the side by the UK press might have a foundation.  Was this the team that would finally end England’s string of disappointing World Cups?  Could they finally put it all together and, at last, bag the ultimate trophy or would they shoot themselves in the foot, yet again?

The answer came in the 41st minute, and a tourniquet and crutches would be required.

The Americans, donned in throwback kits honouring that famous 1950 squad, had mounted an attack or three but couldn’t penetrate the England back line.  In frustration at being held off once more, Clint Dempsey spun away from Steven Gerrard and scuffed a low, off-balance shot that bounced twice before reaching Green.  The keeper, with perhaps more time than he needed to think about matters, kneeled to cradle the ball.  The Jabulani seemingly had other ideas.  Like a precocious two-year old, who wants to lay his hands on that shiny, glittering piece of Swarovski, twinkling and beckoning from just over Mommy’s shoulder, the ball squirmed away, rolling off Green’s right arm and into goal.  England’s confidence, fragile as crystal, was shattered.

Over the remainder of the tournament, all three of England’s keepers, Green, Joe Hart and former number one, David ‘Calamity’ James, would feature and all would have further shaky moments.  Fortunately for Green, Uruguayan match official Jorge Larrionda would make an equally stunning error, not seeing that Frank Lampard’s strike, against Germany, had struck the bar and bounced three feet on the other side of the line before its back-spin propelled it into the arms of a relieved Manuel Neuer.  While that mistake has not snuffed out all memories of Green’s misplay, it has at least muted them to a manageable level.

After the tournament, all three would make the news for mishaps of one sort or another over the course of the new season.

If that's my cell, let it go to voice mail!

After the World Cup, James was unsure of the next step in his career.  Portsmouth had gone into administration, were relegated to the Championship and could no longer afford his services.  To everyone’s surprise, he ended up signing for another Championship side, Bristol City.  As it turns out, alcohol smoothed the way.  James tells it best himself…

I thought I would either stay with Portsmouth, move to a Premier League club or go to Scotland. In between thinking about all that, there was my wedding to Amanda to organise. Somehow it all converged at a single point, the morning after my stag do.

I received a phone call from an unknown number. I don’t usually answer those, but I was still drunk and so I picked it up. Much to my astonishment the man on the other end was Steve Coppell.

He said, “All right Dave, I’m the Bristol City manager, and was wondering if you’d be interested in having a look at the club?”

If it had been anyone else, I would not have considered it, but such was my respect for Steve that Bristol City became a serious contender.

James is still with the Robins but Coppell inexplicably resigned just weeks into the season.  These things can only happen to goalkeepers.  And referees, of course.

Apparently they didn't have co-eds in the Gaffer's day.

In late October, Hart would join Manchester City teammates Adam Johnson, Shay Given and Gareth Barry for a golf outing in the north.  Afterwards, the foursome was in such good spirits, they crashed a student party, drank to excess and slept it off in the student dorm.  When it inevitably came out in the press, the two Italian managers in Hart’s life, Roberto Mancini and Fabio Capello acted more like Jewish mothers, laying a guilt trip on the players, claiming England ‘s failures were down to its ‘drinking culture.’

For my part, I can say with complete confidence that this is untrue.  I’ve never touched the stuff and still haven’t accomplished a thing in my life.

Green, himself, would return to West Ham and promptly serve Upton Park fans some World Cup déjà vu.  The club, from top to bottom, rallied behind him, though.  The Davids, Chairmen Gold and Sullivan, Manager Avram Grant, Captain Scott Parker and several other teammates all were quoted as standing behind him with every confidence he would see it through and put this spell behind him. All lauded both his maturity as a person and his abilities as a footballer.

Write this!

In response, the netminder would put in a stellar performance, making several key saves in a 1-0 win over  visiting Tottenham.  It was the Hammers’ first victory of the season.  At its conclusion, he unleashed an emphatic gesture towards the press box, a defiant last word after their continued haranguing of him in print.  It does seem to have been a last word, too, as an own goal given up late in yesterday’s match against Man City, in which the ball bounced off the bar and then Green’s back to find its way in, has happily not summoned up a rehash of  Green’s World Cup woe.

Lest you think that this phenomenon of fallacy is strictly limited to English goalkeepers, there are any number of examples to prove that it is far more rampant than that.  There is Pepe Reina’s famous beach ball adventure.  That did happen in England but Reina is Spanish.  Vincent Enyeama, of Nigeria, who I happen to think is the most underrated, unnoticed keeper in the game, committed a terrible gaffe in the World Cup, dooming the Super Eagles to another loss.  Never mind that this was after standing on his head to keep them in the match for the first 80 minutes.

It even stretches into retirement.  The Paraguayan legend, Chilavert, recently assaulted a football agent in an airport lounge, after a dispute over commissions for player recruitment had degenerated into insults.

“Seijas owes me money for the transfers of Zarate and Romero,” said Chilavert.  ”He called me a starving Paraguayan and I cannot allow that.”

The world champion of cursed goal keepers has to be Moroccan Khalid Askri.  In a crucial match between his side, FAR Rabat, and Maghreb Fez, Askri dove to his left to stop a penalty kick and jumped to his feet, ran around the goal and celebrated in front of the fans.  While he was doing that, the ball, spinning like the Tasmanian Devil, hopped across the six yard box, abruptly changed direction and rolled into goal.

As if this wasn’t enough embarrassment for one man, a couple of weeks later, against KAC Kenitra, Askri rushed out to a loose ball, outside the box, and whiffed while trying to sell the attacker a dummy on the dribble.  The forward happily took the ball and sent it into a gaping net.  Askri snapped.  Stripping himself of shirt and gloves and evading the grasp of teammates as he ran, the shamed keeper sprinted out of the stadium.

While he is still listed on FAR Rabat’s roster, at least according to Wikipedia, there’s no word on whether he’s re-donned the strip and stood between the pipes again.

In closing, it should be noted that keepers do have their moments of happiness.  Take Will Hesmer, who came forward to score this late winner for the Columbus Crew against Toronto FC, in October.

Hesmer is a goalkeeper, however, and for such no good deed goes unpunished.  The price for Hesmer’s moment in the sun would come in the form of a collision which broke his collar-bone and left him unavailable for the Crew’s Major league Soccer play-off run.

That’s it for today.  Join us tomorrow, when FIFA and Tapesh Patel will bring us Three French Men.

See you then!

Andrew Gibney

Martin Palazzotto

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SPL correspondent Andrew Gibney and WFC Editor Martin Palazzotto lock horns over the 2022 USA World Cup bid.  First though, Andrew offers his conflicted feelings on the England bid.

2018 (Andrew)

As a Scotsman, this one tears my loyalties apart.  On one hand, living in England, I would have the best opportunity of my lifetime to attend a World Cup Finals match. Then again, on the other hand, the one with the extended middle finger,  I just hate to see “them” get anything worth celebrating.

Seriously though, my more sensible side would like the World Cup to go to Russia. It would do so much to develop the game that little bit more in their country.  Their league set up is growing by leaps and bounds, with some great sides coming out of Russia.

With the concentration of professional clubs in Moscow, it is nice that the plan is to stage the games in 14 different cities. This gives Russia’s economy, beyond the capital, a chance to grow and, perhaps, bring the outlying regions further into the 21st century..

An obvious problem with the Russian bid is the federations apparent denial of the two isms. Race and hooligan, I mean.  The infamous banana banner displayed at Lokomotiv Moscow after the transfer of Peter Odemwingie has no place in football. Given their stance on the issue, can FIFA afford to risk a re-occurrence, especially given the attitude of the Russian brass?

If the Russian FA can address the problem and keep the troublemakers in check, then I have no doubt that they could put on an amazing tournament and help Russian football climb higher up the European ladder.

2022 (Andrew)

This is a very interesting decision.  Three of the candidates have recently hosted the World Cup in some capacity.  Only Germany and South Africa have welcomed FIFA with open arms since Korea/Japan provided us with such a memorable tournament.  For me it is just far too soon to have the tournament return to these shores.  Although USA ’94 was sixteen years ago, there’s has only been 4 tournaments since Diana Ross missed that penalty in the Rose Bowl.

Another reason I am against the USA bid (sorry, Martin) is that it seems to go against what MLS are trying to do to develop the game in the States. Only two of the proposed venues currently host MLS teams. Surely the whole point of hosting the tournament is to leave a lasting legacy.

I may be wrong, but how does the level of football in the United States improve by using NFL and college grid-iron stadiums?  MLS teams are emphasising soccer specific stadia.   After all the current rebuilding plans are complete, only five teams will not play in their own soccer stadium.

For me the decision comes down to either Qatar or Australia.  Both are relatively young footballing countries. I would love to see the showpiece event travel down under to Australia.   It would do wonders for the up and coming A-League and leave them with a legacy.

We know from the Sydney Olympic Games that the country can host such a huge event, and it would do wonders to promote the game in Australia. Qatar will some day host the World Cup but, at this point, it is probably 8 years to soon for them, try again in 2030.

The Rebuttal (Martin)

Okay, since you named names, I feel I must take up the glove you have thrown down, good sir.

First, I’m Canadian, not American. Guilt by association sucks. Yes I live here, it’s true, but that’s no different than your setting up your tent amongst the hated Longshanks, Mr. Wallace.

As it happens, though, I do support the American bid, because I believe it’s the best of the lot. As I’ve stated in my own rant on this subject, the Aussie bid is very similar to ours, with the drawbacks of much more limited potential for profit and the awkward time zone issues. If they could just move their little sub continent a bit closer to the rest of the planet…

What confounds me in your reasoning and has my nads in a bunch, however, was this whole legacy thing.  You sound just like Sepp and no one really wants to do that.

Still, in answer to your question, the legacy of (fingers crossed) USA’22 would be that the game, both in the interim and after FIFA has pocketed their 50% (tax-free) and set their sights on China, would enjoy a huge surge in popularity due to, first, anticipation and, finally, a dawning understanding that this truly is the beautiful game.  Such a legacy would insure that more and bigger soccer specific stadia would be built in the future. Naturally, that is in FIFA’s interest, as well, because with the money to be made, they’ll be coming back for a third dip as soon as they can rationalise it to the rest of the world.  With a dozen-year head start, there’s even reason to believe an MLS stadium may host a match or two when the tournament finally rolls around.

The A-League, a little younger than MLS could use that boost, too, even if the economic potential is not as great.  Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my own piece, Aussie Rules Football, Cricket and Rugby are not very keen on sharing their venues, since (gasp!) the A-League, like MLS, has no large SSS.  Why the same situation, in your reasoning, detracts from the legacy argument for America and adds to its lustre Down Under escapes me.

If you were English, I might understand it.

So, we all saw the match on Wednesday (or highlights of it). We all know that 2-1 was a flattering scoreline for the English Bambi which was caught in France’s headlights. However, the symptoms of England’s demise run far deeper than a 90-minute French lesson at Wembley.

I’d let Jude Ellery tell you about it but, three days later, he’s still passed out with his head in the pretzel dish on the bar.  So, I’ll try to be objective in covering both sides.

First, though, credit should be given where it’s due. I wrote before the match that France were searching for a post-Domenech identity and a collective personality. This still holds true. For all the quality on display, I can’t help but think that Spain, Brazil or Argentina could still edge them if they faced off now.

French fancies

On Wednesday, however, we got a glimpse of Blanc’s plans for Les Bleus, ones that have been devised over time, with patience and perseverance. In the face of criticism of some of his selections, most notably those of Philippe Mexes and Karim Benzema, he has let performances do his talking for him.

Indeed, the entire spine of this team bears the Blanc stamp. They are best characterised as a big unit made up of little units. The group that stood out, the ‘piece de resistance,’ if you will, was the central midfield of Yann M’Vila, Yoann Gourcuff and Samir Nasri. There were echoes of Busquets, Xavi and Iniesta in the way that M’Vila distributed, Gourcuff passed and Nasri flitted. In no way would I claim that they were the equal of a world-champion midfield, but they certainly did a good impression of one against England, and each has the potential to become the next Claude Makelele, Zinedine  Zidane or Robert Pires respectively.

But are France really that good? If we were to make like-for-like comparisons between the two teams, you wouldn’t find too many differences. England had as many caps in their starting 11 (271) as France. So why the gulf in class?

Different methods, different outcomes

Well, the first thing to note is the approaches of both managers. Of course, Blanc took this match more seriously than Capello, but I don’t think anybody thought that this would manifest itself so obviously. One of the key aspects of creating a successful team is the cohesion of the eleven players on the pitch; when done well, the whole becomes better than the sum of its parts. When it doesn’t… The two extremes of this were on full show at Wembley – France, with a core unit that has played together for 4-5 matches, were able to pass the ball around a disjointed England side, who spent half their training sessions introducing themselves to each other.

This isn’t the whole story though. What made (and makes) players like Nasri and Gourcuff, underachievers at club level, so potent on the international stage? To me, the answer is blindingly obvious – despite not setting the world on fire they are at least playing both decently and regularly for their clubs.

Maybe this is more of a difference in leagues. Looking through the French squad, almost all of the players are first choice and key contributors (Benzema, again, is a notable exception). This makes a world of difference at international level. Certain world-class players are able to get away with a lack of club form (think Robinho or Miroslav Klose), but with all due respect, players like Joleon Lescott do not fit this description.

Has Britain Got Talent?

The dearth of English talent in the Premiership is becoming more and more obvious with each dodgy selection, although Fabio Capello seems to be contributing to his own downfall. Why was Joleon Lescott picked ahead of able defenders such as Gary Cahill? Why Kieran Gibbs instead of Leighton Baines? What about Kevin Nolan? Stuart Downing? Scott Parker? Jack Rodwell? Why (and this one irked me most) was Kevin Davies left out of the entire squad, having so recently been given his debut?

Capello claims to pick his squad based on form, but this hasn’t happened for a while now. The players mentioned may never make the first team, but as Blanc’s France squad shows, they can help to improve the starters by competing for their places and pushing them to the limit. Based on recent evidence, Gareth Barry certainly could do with a 101 on defensive midfield play from Scott Parker.

I promised to be objective in the beginning, so I have to offer a little carrot to Capello, before I get back to the stick.   The selection of Jay Bothroyd of Cardiff was both bold and justified. But even this smacks of a move to appease the fans. I’m not trying to be a conspiracy theorist, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw the entirety of Bothroyd’s England career on Wednesday night. Despite the clear quality of the player, England seems to hold a special contempt for those who play outside its top division.

As such, many will condemn Bothroyd’s brief cameo as a show that he can’t hack it at this level. To those, I would present you with Cardiff City, a side who (when he was injured) found life visibly more difficult without a striker that not only is their top-scorer, but links the play and gets others involved. The same Bluebirds side that contains Peter Whittingham, Chris Burke, Michael Chopra and -ahem- Craig Bellamy.

In order for England to progress, this silly taboo needs to go, and quickly. The national squad should be made up of the best players in the country, regardless of division. Has anybody seen Chris Smalling put in a performance this season worth a place in the England squad? Didn’t think so.

England – skimming the surface but not plumbing their depths

If anybody wants an example of the ability of the Championship to develop a player of the highest quality, you need only look at Newcastle’s number nine. Before the match, the French media paid particular attention to Andy Carroll, pitted against their own international new-boy, Adil Rami. Now, Rami is known as a physical, uncompromising defender, but Carroll’s Avatar-like physique proved a thorn in the French defence throughout. Having capped a meteoric rise from the Championship to international level, it is hard to believe that the Toon triumph will be cast upon the Capello-Eriksson scrap heap of one-cap wonders.

For other youngsters, this was a mixed experience. It’s fair to say Kieran Gibbs and Jordan Henderson were out of their depth against a dominant French midfield that combined the talents of four established international players going forward, but this was by no means their fault. Ben Foster got the shakes in goal, and further forward, Theo Walcott did not have the best of nights.

Ultimately, Capello picked a side that was too inexperienced. If there is a lesson to be taken, it is that a side needs time to gel and to form the team spirit required for a cohesive unit. The France that took to the field against the Three Lions may have far less individual talent than that on show in South Africa, but as a team, they far outshone Domenech’s disaster of a side. To do all of this, the much-maligned England boss must now find his best players, and field them on a consistent basis.

Does anybody have a drawing board?

I am quite sure it has not escaped your attention, unless of course you’re a deaf, blind and mute or Tom Hicks (but I repeat myself), that Anfield’s favourite son has returned from international duty crocked. Personally, I hate international friendlies. It is hard enough to watch England in competitions, let alone in a pointless game that nobody cares about, least of all the players.

In tandem with the luck Liverpool has had over the past 18 months, it always seems that our players drop like flies when these blasted exhibition matches come around. Dirk Kuyt has spent a large portion of this season unavailable due to injuries suffered on international duty, whilst Fernando Torres suffers a set-back at the mere mention of a Spain game.

With all the walking wounded under their care, you'd think Paul Small and Rob Price would be as famous as their charges.

With the news that Captain Fantastic will be missing from action for a month, or possibly longer, you will forgive me if I seem a little despondent this week. With Lucas serving a suspension, Joe Cole still nursing an injury and Gerrard now unavailable, it seems we are left to depend on the magnificent Christian Poulsen this weekend.

After a mini-revival a few weeks back, things are now looking stormy again. It’s ironic that Hodgson recently described the Stoke game as “a blip.”  In an opening sequence of five losses in thirteen, the majority of the northwest of England think that the performance against Chelsea might have been the blip.

The Stoke game really hammered home just how far our stock has fallen; not only were we physically dominated throughout the game, the Potters also muscled us out of the possession. I cannot remember the last time Liverpool had only 36% of the ball (please don’t tell me).  Of course, it is not every week that we will come up against players of the calibre of Ricardo Fuller, so there may well be rosier times ahead. Fingers crossed on that one!

This weekend sees us in action at Anfield, taking on the bottom-of-the-league Hammers. West Ham, as the league table depicts, have not had the best of times this season, either. Their squad is as weak as I can remember.  With vastly overpaid players who nobody in their right mind would buy swallowing up all of the disposable income, the troubles at Upton Park will surely continue. Like Liverpool a few months ago, their hands are clearly tied.

Avram Grant has been having the same type of season as Hodgson. Ring up Roberto Mancini and you've got the makings of a decent support group.

Ordinarily, I would be looking at the game this weekend as an easy three points. Sorry to all you Hammers out there, but I just don’t see anything in your squad that should unduly worry any side in the league. You may notice that I started the paragraph with the word “ordinarily”. That wasn’t an accident. I am actually a little worried.

Despite their predicament, West Ham have been looking like showing a little more fight of late and, against Blackpool, looked a lot more committed that Liverpool have been at times this season.

For too long this season I have seen my side fear others. Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far away, clubs feared Anfield.  Shankly’s “This is Anfield” sign, in the tunnel leading to the pitch, chilled opposing players to the bone.  Now it’s a bit of a pick-me-up.

Chelsea aside, the current side has no fight, no desire and no passion. It is fundamentally flawed. The squad is dangerously small. There are no wingers. In the game against Napoli a few weeks back, we had six central midfielders on the pitch at one point!  If it takes facing Chelsea to motivate the squad, in our current predicament, we are in for a long season.

To be completely honest, I have already written this season off.  Reaching the top four seems more apt for a comedy sketch. Europa League qualification should be a minimum requirement but, unless something drastically changes, I wouldn’t say that was guaranteed.

Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United and Manchester City will definitely finish above us. Tottenham Hotspur will be feeling very confident about the prospect of outscoring us this season too. Last season’s nearly men, Aston Villa and Everton, both look capable of at least matching us. All told, that is seven teams that look in better shape than us, which is very alarming.

With a little luck, the boys will defy me this week, put in a good performance and pick up three points. Don’t be surprised, though, if this Red is not smiling broadly come Sunday morning. A lot of damage has been done to this once great club and it could well take a long time to put it right.

On Wednesday, Fabio Capello and the Three Lions welcome Laurent Blanc and Les Bleus to Wembley for (one hopes) an epic friendly.  WFC writers Tapesh Patel and Jude Ellery preview the sides, visitor and host respectively, to give you an idea of what to expect from this long anticipated match-up.

Tapesh Patel

The French

Unlike Fabio Capello, who seems to be handing out new caps every game, Laurent Blanc has taken an arguably more considered approach, resulting in a squad that hasn’t changed much since the World Cup. On the other hand, if you haven’t seen a France match since the reign of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, you’ll see a few changes.

Who and where?

In recent matches, Blanc has favoured a 4-2-3-1, and although a 4-4-2 diamond was tested against Luxembourg, I don’t expect to see it again. Here’s the squad in full, along with my predictions on who will play…

Goalkeepers: Hugo Lloris (Lyon), Steve Mandanda (Marseille), Cédric Carrasso (Bordeaux)

Hugo Lloris will most probably start here, with his form bringing Lyon up the table. Arsene Wenger might only be window-shopping now, thanks to Lukasz Fabianski, but other English clubs (Manchester United?) would do well to take a look at Lloris.

Defenders: Eric Abidal (Barcelona), Gaël Clichy (Arsenal), Bakary Sagna (Arsenal), Younes Kaboul (Spurs), Adil Rami (Lille), Mamadou Sakho (PSG), Anthony Réveillère (Lyon)

Eric Abidal is the real surprise here, but the defender who was dropped after the World Cup seems to have forced himself back into international reckoning at left-back. This will leave room for a young centre-back pairing of Adil Rami (24) and Mamadou Sakho (20). Rami’s physicality will be tested by that of Andy Carroll, and his form for Lille likewise. Having produced some good performances for France, he is one to watch in this game.

Midfielders: Yohan Cabaye (Lille), Alou Diarra (Bordeaux), Florent Malouda (Chelsea), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mathieu Valbuena (Marseille), Samir Nasri (Arsenal), Yoann Gourcuff (Lyon)

Several sets of eyes, including Roy hodgson's will be watching M'vila.

Blanc has tended, so far, to hand his former Bordeaux captain Alou Diarra the captain’s armband. However, Diarra has just been suspended for six Ligue 1 matches for pushing a referee during a match.  We’ll see whether that indiscretion will cost him come game time. Yann M’Vila is the other holding midfielder, and will probably be scouted by Roy Hodgson, who flew across to watch him play for Rennes last weekend. M’Vila bears similarities to Claude Makélelé in his no-nonsense play, and brings a passion to the game (one that Liverpool have lacked since Mascherano left).

Nasri will most likely be deployed as a playmaker, where he excels, with Malouda on the left. Ribery has not played during Blanc’s reign thus far due to suspension, and won’t travel to Wembley due to injury. With Jeremy Menez of Roma omitted from the squad, Valbuena could be picked to start.

Attackers: Karim Benzema (Real Madrid), Dimitri Payet (Saint-Etienne), Kévin Gameiro (Lorient), Guillaume Hoarau (PSG), Loïc Rémy (Marseille)

Up front, only one striker really stands out, with a bunch of okay-but-not-brilliant alternatives. Sound familiar, England fans? Anyway, with the Incredible Sulk™ gone, Benzema will look to continue his impressive recent work for Les Bleus.

Blanc slate – or is it?

Blanc is moving Les Bleus forward while Capello seems bogged down.

The sheer amount of new, unfamiliar faces in this squad means that the French side, like that of England, is very raw. The good news for Laurent Blanc is that the young talents at his disposal offer much hope for the future. The bad news is that, as Blanc has admitted, France currently possess an all-round side that lacks a bona fide world-class player. The closest Les Bleus have to this is Franck Ribery, a man of questionable attitude who has often flattered to deceive at international level. The team therefore still needs time to learn and form itself, and the manager needs time to find the best formation for it.

Look for Blanc to fine-tune his side, in order to find its optimal style of play, instead of radically changing its components.

And England?

To me, Fabio Capello hasn’t placed enough importance on the fact that this match is against one of England’s historic rivals, preferring instead to concentrate upon the progress of his youngest players. Laurent Blanc, on the other hand, has stated the need for a “strong sign” from his team, as well as his desire for Les Bleus to prove themselves against a side ranked higher than themselves in the FIFA rankings.

For this reason, I think that France will take a narrow victory, barring a hat-trick by Andy Carroll (who, by the way, could learn something from the attitudes of other young players such as Jordan Henderson and Theo Walcott). England are too far behind in the development of their team and their style.  France’s cohesion may prove the telling factor.

♦   ◊   ♦

Jude Ellery

The English

It’s March 2007 and England are two goals up against a weak Andorra side, in an easy qualifier.  Steve McClaren brings on a player from Championship side Preston North End, who nabs a goal in typical poacher’s fashion.  So was this lad any good?  Did he make it?

No, and no.  I’m sure you’ve all deduced I’m referring to David Nugent.  A solitary England cap earned the striker a move to Premier League Portsmouth, where his paltry return of seven goals in 49 games earned him a return trip to the Championship.  His international record stayed at one goal in one game, which is one game more than was deserved.

I’m probably being a little harsh on Nugent, who has proved to be a decent Championship striker.  But in that statement lies the truth of the matter; he’s proficient in England’s second division.  He ‘earned’ his England chance without truly being tested, and when he did get a shot at the Premiership, he proved he wasn’t up to it.

The new Zamora?

So have England learned?  Do they ever?

Up steps Cardiff City’s answer to Bobby Zamora, Jay Bothroyd.  He’s in the form of his life, with 15 goals in 16 games for the Welsh club.  The problem is, until this season, his goalscoring record has been dismal.  He has never managed 15 in a single season previously, and when he was in The Premiership, the only time he turned heads was when he was dismissed for angrily kicking Olof Mellberg.

I may be hasty in predicting another wasted cap.  Bothroyd may play well against France and even go on to become a solid Premier League player when Cardiff win promotion.  But more likely he’ll have a ten minute cameo and never play again.

Newcastle’s number nine

Can Carroll mature into the role Shearer once played for England?

The player in Fabio Capello’s squad who will start up top is the recent Newcastle hero, Andy Carroll.  Two years ago The Toon were relegated but their situation was not as black and white as it seemed.  A silver lining threatened to reveal itself towards the end of their dismal demotion season.  That ray of light was a lanky, lightweight, cocky and at the time cornrowed striker, who in 2007 had won the Wor Jackie Milburn Trophy, given each year to the rising star of North-East football.  He’s still lanky and he’s still cocky  but he’s developed into a stallion of a man who’s proving to be a nightmare for English defences.  The cornrows, thankfully, have gone the way of David Nugent’s England career.

Admittedly, Caroll and Bothroyd’s chances have only arisen because of injuries to established players, such as  Zamora, Wayne Rooney, Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe, but that’s the way of it in football.  Carroll has already shown his desire to grasp this opportunity with both hands by not withdrawing despite his own injury (groin).   Conversely, Bothroyd has doubters like yours truly to disprove.  Both face a tough task as they pit their skill and wits against a weakened yet hungry young France side.  Carroll will no doubt get more chances in the white of England regardless but for Bothroyd this could be his only shot.

Midfield support

It’s likely that Carroll will be supported by an advanced Steven Gerrard.  That leaves a Jordan Henderson sized gap in midfield, and the Sunderland youngster is one of a few who could force their way into the qualifying squads with a good performance.  The Guardian has rated his passing, vision and stamina as excellent, but criticised his lack of goals. One against the French would do him no harm at all.

Gareth Barry  will do his usual job of jogging about neither destroying nor creating while Owen Hargreaves is arguably a bigger miss for England than for Manchester United, especially as Capello was one of the midfielder’s biggest fans.

Defence

Gibbs' mission will be to fill cole's shoes, not Rooney's.

At the back, Kieran Gibbs is the latest off the production line, as Arsene Wenger attempts to clone Ashley Cole, the Chelsea man missing out through injury.  Gibbs is fast closing in on Gael Clichy for the regular spot at Arsenal, but it would take an almighty heave to displace his countryman, considered by many to be the world’s best left back.  Still, giving Gibbs five or six games before the European Championships arrive would help him feel comfortable playing at this level, in case of injury to Cole.

Chris Smalling and Gary Cahill are two others who need game time in the next couple of years, as John Terry and Rio Ferdinand are both beginning to creak more than a staircase at the FA’s draconian headquarters.  At right back Micah Richards could win back the spot handed to him by McClaren, as a crocked Glen Johnson is enduring an even more troublesome time than most at Liverpool.

Wings

Expect James Milner to come straight back in on the left, while Adam Johnson should start on the opposite flank, despite his lack of playing time at City.  Theo Walcott is back to full fitness but Capello should favour the man in possession, who has so far barely put a foot wrong on the pitch for England.  It remains to be seen whether he can maintain this faultless performance off the field, as City and England mates Gareth Barry and Joe Hart are seemingly intent on leading the winger astray.

Between the Posts

Hart has fitness doubts but should start in goal, as, if Paul Robinson’s fate is any example, Robert Green will have to stand on his head for some time yet to regain Capello’s trust.

Tactics

I’d expect England therefore to employ a 4-2-3-1: Hart, Richards, Jagielka, Ferdinand, Gibbs, Barry, Henderson, Johnson, Gerrard, Milner, Carroll.

At some point in the second half they could revert to a 4-4-2, with Carroll and Gerrard departing for Peter Crouch and Bothroyd.  Other substitutes who will probably get a game are Cahill and Walcott, who in the next twelve months should earn themselves regular starting places.  Capello has picked several young players for this match and is likely to employ most of them at some point.  However, it’s hard to tell whether he would have done so if senior regulars like Johnson, Frank Lampard and John Terry were available.  Is this is the start of a revolution or a false dawn?

♦   ◊   ♦

So, the consensus seems to be a hungry French squad making life tough for an unsure English side.  If that forecast holds true, look for heavy criticisms from the likes of Keegan and Venables in the coming days.  One pundit should put in an unpredictably solid performance, however, as Alan Shearer will actually be able to share some detailed knowledge regarding one of the players involved.

Enjoy the match!

Jude Ellery can also be found at the unique and interesting Football Farrago.

And the surprise winner for Countries Who Don't Have Anything To Spend Their Tax Dollars On But Shiny New Stadiums is...

..

It’s often said that variety is the spice of life.  Well, when it comes to UEFA qualifying, for any tournament, if you’re on a bland diet, then you’d best grab the antacid now.  Once again, Michel Platini and his boys have come up with a new set-up to decide the fourteen clubs that will join the hosts, Poland and the Ukraine, in June 2012.

You might need your calculator for this.  Are you ready?

Okay, this time around it’s nine groups, six consisting of a half dozen nations and the other three containing five apiece.  Of course, it’s the same home and home round robin within the groups, as in the past,  but this time the nine first place countries and the best overall runner-up will automatically advance to the finals.

Now, because some groups have six squads and others five, there is a special ranking system to determine the best runner-up.   Essentially, any matches played against a sixth place finisher will not count in deciding the automatic qualifier.  Which means that whoever is eventually crowned champion, one thing is certain:  as the final group qualifying matches approach, sales of headache medicine will rise sharply in several countries, as fans without mathematical doctorates attempt to calculate their side’s chances.  For instance, even if your team is certain of finishing second, the results from matches involving minnows in other groups, may affect your standing.  If the wrong team suddenly falls into sixth position or climbs out of it, the fortunes of  your boys may drastically change.   We’ll wait for those of you heading to the medicine cabinet now to return before continuing.

Right then, moving on…  Once the single runner-up and nine group winners have qualified, that leaves eight other second place countries to be seeded into two-legged ties, with the winners claiming the remaining four places in the final tournament.  Yes, we did say seeded, because that’s what UEFA have solemnly promised, mindful of the furor last autumn, when they exercised their prerogative to change their minds, at the last minute, and held a draw for the World Cup play offs.  Fingers crossed but it’s likely they’ll keep their word this time.

It's a little known fact that Einstein flunked out of Group Qualification Theory.

Still, even with their vow to remain consistent going forward, Platini’s crew have managed to fudge things just a little.  You would think that, having concocted this complicated system for deciding the best runner-up, UEFA would use it to rank the other eight.  Unfortunately, that would be too easy.  Instead, the sufficiently more intricate and confusing UEFA National Team Coefficient rankings will be used to decide the playoff matchups.

I’m sorry, but if you’ve raised your hand to ask us to explain the coefficient, please put it back down or we shall be forced to club you to death.  Thank you very much.

UEFA made two other decisions, before the draw, of which one came to the fore when the balls were drawn.

First, minnows, or should we say piranhas(?), Azerbaijan and Armenia were precluded from meeting each other in the group stages.  These two nations simply don’t like each other on any level, never mind football, and so common sense prevailed over bureaucracy, with provisions being made, just in case.  As it happened, ‘in case’ reared its ugly head and the two were both drawn into Group A, whereupon UEFA moved Armenia over to Group B.  What would be done if the two nations both progressed and were fated to meet in the later rounds of the competition would really not be an important consideration.  There are plenty of other things which take precedence when the Apocalypse arrives.

Second, it was decided that should France be drawn with the Republic of Ireland nothing would be done.  According to Platini such an event “would be great.”  It would be even greater if Les Bleus would be required to not only recall, but start, Thierry Henry in both matches, were the sides to eventually meet again. Sadly, though, it was the luck of the Irish to be placed in a group with Slovakia and Russia.  Any plans of revenge will have to wait for another day.

It should also be noted that one match has already been played and Estonia, on the strength of a 2-1 home victory over the Faroe Islands, has actually been atop Group C since 11 August.  Technically then, we are a little late with this preview but are, nonetheless, happy to bring you a summary of the nine groups with our ratings for each of the nations involved.

Beginning with:

Group A…..(Geoff Edwards)

The group looks to be a straight fight between Belgium, Turkey and Austria for the honour of going through alongside Germany, who have to be favourites following their World Cup exploits.  The only dilemma for Joachim Low, at the moment, is the tug-of-war between Michael Ballack and Phillip Lahm, over the captain’s armband

Belgium, under the stewardship of Georges Leekens, certainly possess enough quality to emerge from this group. In Marouane Fellaini, Steven Defour, Axel Witsel, Eden Hazard and Romelu Lukaku, Belgian fans will hope there is the nucleus of a squad that could rival their 80s and early 90s vintage, when a side containing the likes of Enzo Scifo and Jan Ceulemans was prominent on the world scene.

Hiddink's merlinesque effect may bring Turkey back into prominence

Turkey will hope to ensure that Euro 2012 is a tournament too soon for Belgium’s youngsters. Guus Hiddink’s men have a nice blend of youth and experience and a few survivors from the squad that reached the semis in Euro 2008, including Arda Turan and the Altintop brothers. Most importantly, they have Hiddink. If anyone can get the Turks performing consistently it’s the Dutch alchemist, who will want to put his previous campaign with Russia behind him.

Austria look to be a little behind Turkey and Belgium in the race for 2nd but, with a forward line boasting Martin Harnik, Erwin Hoffer, Marko Arnautovic and Marc Janko, they certainly have the potential to derail rival campaigns.  Although they can both be classed as the minnows of the group, Azerbaijan and Kazakhstan are certainly far from no-hopers. They’ll each look to take maximum points off the other and nick a point or two from their more illustrious opponents.

Group B…..(Eliot Rothwell)

This looks to be a two horse race with the footballing thoroughbreds of Ireland and Russia battling it out for the top spot.

Russia, under Dick Advocaat, will look to continue the progress made by Guus Hiddink.  With such players as Andrei Arshavin and Roman Pavlyuchenko, the Russians do have the horsepower . The one question is the defence and its inept talent for conceding silly goals when it matters most.

Giovanni Trappatoni relates the amount of times his stomach had to be pumped last month, after he ingested a bad batch of bangers and mash.

Ireland, under the stewardship of Il Trap, are looking to qualify for their first international tournament in some time.   The resolute defending of Richard Dunne, et al, will form the basis of their bid to claim top spot. With an attacking force of Robbie Keane and Kevin Doyle up front, the Irish are capable of doing damaging but they lack depth and could lose their way should injuries to key players arise.

Any surprises might come from Vladimir Weiss’ Slovakia, who triumphed over Italy at the World Cup. The potent menace of striker Stanislav Sestak re-enforced by a tremendous team spirit could pose a serious danger to Russia and Ireland. The win over Italy was greeted with jubilation in Bratislava and combined with the progression of Zilina to the Champions League group stages, a good European campaign could round off a very satisfying year for Slovakian football.

Bringing up the rear are Macedonia, Andorra and Armenia, the whipping boys of the group. Macedonia present the biggest threat, as England fans will know.  Inter Milan’s Goran Pandev shoulders much of the attacking burden.  The fight for bottom of the group will be interesting as Andorra and Armenia slug it out to see who can accumulate a lesser amount of 5-0 defeats, with Andorra sweetening the pot by welcoming away teams to Barcelona for a spot of R and R pre-match.

Group C….. (Eliot Rothwell)

The Cesare Prandelli era begins for World Cup ’06 winners, Italy.  The Italians will be favourites to qualify , yet also intent on regaining their opponents’ respect after their dismal showing in South Africa. Daniele De Rossi and Giorgio Chiellini will be looking to get their international careers back on track. If rumours are proven correct, there could be much re-shaping of this Italian side.  With former captain Fabio Cannavaro now playing in the Middle East and Luca Toni and Francesco Totti definitely on the outs, expect a new crop of Italians to come to fruition this season.

Where Vidic leads, his band of Serbs will follow.

Featuring a wealth of attacking players, Serbia will present the biggest threat to Italy’s chances. Milos Krasic and Milan Jovanovic will provide width and incisive wideplay for the Serbians, who benefit from the extremely strong defence of Nemaja Vidic and Branislav Jovanovic. Serbia could finish top of the group, providing they find their goalscoring boots with 6’5″ Nikola Zigic backing up the towering talent of Marko Pantelic.

Slovenia are the next team in line. They were unlucky not to progress from their World Cup group and Mateja Kez’s side will be looking to continue the second golden age of Slovenian football by claiming a place at the Euros. With a resolute defence and, in Valter Birsa, an ability to score spectacular goals, the Slovenians are capable of scraping out 1-0 wins away from home.

Northern Ireland, perennial nearly men, will be relying on the goalscoring talents of David Healy once more as they attempt to scrap their way through the qualifying stages. If they are to progress, expect a spate of 1-0 home wins.  In August, Estonia struggled to a 2-1 extra time win, at home,  against the Faroe Islands.  The result hardly inspires confidence that they’ll prove any impedance to the big boys.

The Faroe Irelands, themselves? Surely they have no chance. Well that may be true but with the uncompromising Faroese air, the wayward Danes may just be able to nick a result here and there.

Group D….. (Tapesh Patel)

France is the only team from this group which qualified for the World Cup and therefore must go down as favourites. Laurent Blanc’s rebuilding job has, to date,  been largely praised but it will come under closer scrutiny (though not from Ireland), with inexperienced faces joining the World Cup dropouts. Some may expect Les Bleus to struggle but their pool of talent is surely far too large for qualification to be a problem.  Samir Nasri, Karim Benzema, Hatem Ben Arfa, Jeremy Menez and Pillippe Mexes will all return after being omitted from the South Africa squad by Raymond Domenech. However, it won’t be if, but how France qualify that will be most telling.

Dzeko wants to put a charge into Bosnia-Herzogovina

A talented side is Bosnia-Herzegovina but very top-heavy in attack.  The focal point of the team is the prolific Edin Dzeko, ably assisted by Zlatan Muslimovic, Vedad Ibisevic and raw midfielder Miralem Pjanic.  Unification of Christian and Muslim team members has instilled pride and patriotism in both the squad and the country itself, which will aid their qualification campaign.

Romania are solid but unspectacular. Captain Cristian Chivu has experienced colleagues in defence, such as Gabriel Tamas, Razvan Rat and Cosmin Contra. A lack of firepower up front, however, may create problems.   Belarus could be unlikely wildcards in what is a fairly weak group. Aliaksandr Hleb provides a touch of class, Vitaly Kutuzov some finesse, and Sergei Kornilenko the goals, having been prolific in the Belorussian League.

Meanwhile, Albania are strong in midfield, led by Lorik Cana and Altin Lala, but lack quality elsewhere.  Luxembourg are, of course, the very definition of minnows.

Group E …..(Avi Goldberg)

The nice moments of the World Cup in South Africa are over and it’s time for the Dutch to qualify for the Euro 2012 through Group E.  While I’m an unashamedly huge fan of the Oranje, there is no doubt that they’re the favourites in this group, with an impressive 25 games unbeaten, until the final, thanks to Bert van Marwijk’s decision to field a solid midfield.  A new challenge lies ahead, however, with two important players leaving, in captain Geovanni van Bronckhorst and veteran centre back Andres Ooijer.  As well,  seeing Robin van Persie and Arjen Robben falling off the team injured, they’ll need to prove again why they went so far in the World Cup.

Fans of the Blågult are hoping that Ibra is happier to return to them than he is to Milan.

Sweden, after missing the World Cup, will do their best to win all their games and try to settle an account with the Oranje, over their loss in the quarter-finals of Euro 2004. Now that the time for friendlies has past and the matches count, the Swedes can rely once more on the experienced striker, Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

The Finns aren’t to be forgotten, fielding a decent team despite never qualifying for the Euros. They adapt to every game differently and are unafraid of going for the win. Hungary, with their new coach Sandor Egervari and experienced midfielders Balazs Dzsudzsak & Roland Juhasz, can hurt their opponent badly through the counter attack & are not a team to think of as the weaker side.

The lesser known teams in this group, Moldova, ranked 89th worldwide by FIFA and San Marino, 202nd, have never qualified for the World Cup or the Euros but are determined to make matters as difficult as possible and prove themselves to the serious contenders.

Group F…..(Tapesh Patel)

After the disappointment of not reaching the World Cup, Slaven Bilic will be out to make amends. He has the squad to do it, too. Croatia are a solid all-round side, boasting talented playmakers in Luca Modric, Ivan Rakitic and Nico Kranjcar, as well as a potent strikeforce consisting of Eduardo da Silva, Ivica Olic and Maladen Petric. Bilic has created good teams from his players in the past, and although the Croats will need to be on their game to win this group, any other result would be a big upset.

Samaras is just praying for a chance to play.

Good news for all purists: Otto “Anti-football” Rehhagel has officially resigned from his post as Greece manager. In his defence (pun intended), he has secured his place in Greek footballing folklore. It now falls to the Portuguese, Fernando Santos, to attempt qualification – if he is to succeed, younger players like Sotiris Ninis and Georgios Samaras must be given chances to impress.

Israel have an outside chance at a playoff spot. They’re a young squad led by the experienced hands of Yossi Benayoun and Tal Ben Haim. Dekel Keinan, Tamir Cohen, Ben Sahar and Biram Kayal are all talented players, known to followers of the British leagues, and teenage midfielder Eyal Golasa has drawn admiring glances from Lazio and Bayern Munich. Latvia still possess some of the players who helped them qualify for Euro 2004, such as Maris Verpakovskis, who famously bagged six goals during that campaign. Nor should it be forgotten that they came third in World Cup qualification.

Georgia features a strong defence, led by Kakha Kaladze and Zurab Khizanishvili, but otherwise won’t linger in anyone’s mind. Malta are very much the outsiders, in this or any group in which they’re drawn.

Group G….. (Matt Dalton)

With England‘s ridiculously poor performance in South Africa all but a distant memory, it’s now time to focus on the next international tournament and, indeed, the future of the England national team. Having been drawn alongside Bulgaria, Montenegro, Switzerland and Wales, England have been granted a route to qualification which is far from easy. The Three Lions will be desperate to get off to a good start at Wembley against the Bulgarians on the 3rd September, with the second match quickly following, away to Switzerland on the 7th.

Ottmar's first priority is always that the bus is properly parked.

For the other teams in Group G, there is optimism. Never before have England appeared to be quite so weak; morale is at an all time low, key players are regularly underperforming and the fans are on the squad’s back like never before. Of course, England still expect, and are expected, to secure qualification from the group.  Yet, if ever there was a chance for the likes of Ottmar Hitzfeld’s Switzerland, with its bunker mentality, to spring an upset, surely this is it.  Bulgaria, even without the retired Dimitar Berbatov, and Montenegro are not to be taken lightly, either.

There is also the presence of an up and coming Wales side. Their resources may not be equal to England but there is no doubt that they’ll be up for the games. The rivalry between the two countries is massive; you only have to look at the rugby.

Ordinarily, there would be at least four “easy” games in a qualification group. This time around, however, there will be no ‘working vacations’ to ease the way.  With only five nations, instead of six, there are no minnows and it’s clear that there will be surprises before all is said and done. Every team in this group is hopeful of a place at the European Championships in 2012, and rightly so!

Group H …..(Tapesh Patel)

"Rumblin', Bumblin', Stumblin'!" Ronaldo needs to get it together on the international stage. (w/apologies to the great Keith Jackson)

When it comes to Portugal, all eyes are on one man, which is just the way the twinkle-toed Cristiano Ronaldo likes it. After the major disappointment that was his World Cup, featuring a single unflattering goal, the Real Madrid man (his current injury aside) will hope to get back to what he does best: running rampant over inferior opposition. The Iberian midfield now has a young core of Raul Meireles, Joao Moutinho and Miguel Veloso, while left-back Fabio Coentrao also gives the side an added dimension going forward.

The Danish World Cup squad had an aging look to it, with players such as Jesper Gronkjaer, Dennis Rommedahl and Jon Dahl Tomasson all visibly past their prime. Denmark needs an infusion of new blood.  Luckily, manager Morten Olsen can call upon such rising stars as Daniel Agger and Christian Eriksen to replace those on the wane. Goals will be needed from Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner to bolster a side which lacked a consistent offensive threat in South Africa.

If the recent 2-1 friendly victory against France is anything to go by, Norway have blended their youth and experience  into a capable outfit.   With the likes of captain Brede Haageland, the brothers John Arne and Bjorn Helge Riise and Morten Gamst Pedersen, the Norwegians possess talent across the team.  They could well beat fellow Scandinavians Denmark (and Iceland) to second place.

Led by the likeable Eidur Gudjohnsen, Iceland may produce  some shock results.  Sadly there are no Stjarnan players in the squad, so don’t hope for any interesting goal celebrations.  Cyprus are unknown quantities with all of the squad currently playing their trade in the country’s domestic league. While not as isolated as the North Koreans, they are just as unlikely to stage an upset in this competition.

Group I….. (Steven Jones)

After completing a World/European double, there are no signs of the end of the ‘golden age’ for Spain.   In fact, it looks like they might go from strength to strength and betting against them finishing top of the group would be borderline insane.  No, the group ultimately comes down to the battle for second place between the Czech Republic, Scotland and possibly Lithuania.

Whatever Darren Fletcher may think of McFadden's choice of anti-perspirant, he is happy to have him in the lineup.

Recent campaigns have done Scotland no justice, as they are again 3rd seeds in their group. Managing to avoid Sweden (who tore them apart a month ago) as well as Serbia and Turkey are major plusses but the Czech Republic will want to do considerably better than their World Cup efforts when they lagged behind Slovakia and Slovenia.

In Tomas Rosicky, the Czechs have a top player.  If he can string together a run of games for his club side, Arsenal, he may also prove pivotal in his country’s qualifying campaign.  James McFadden still remains Scotland’s standout player, with the side exhibiting a noticeable lack of creativity when he’s missing. Craig Levein’s tenure as the Scottish boss actually started with a home fixture against the Czech Republic, back in March, with a 1-0 win.

However, it will be the away fixtures that will pose the most problems for Scotland; recent matches in Norway and the Ukraine spring to mind as games where Scotland were outplayed with full strength sides.  Although, one can look to a certain night in Paris for some reaffirmation.

Lithuania can sometimes punch above their weight class but other than featherweights Liechtenstein, they are not likely to bully anyone about.

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We hope that fills you in on the various groups, where your country fits in and how they may or may not be able to progress.  In conclusion, we’d like to thank Professor Stephen Hawking, Carol Vorderman and Marcus du Sautoy for their help in unraveling the UEFA Group Theory Formula.

Enjoy the action and see you in Kiev!

No, the Champions League is definitely the cock of the roost and, this year, it invades the territory of another cagey bantam, the FA Cup.  Wembley Stadium, home of the world’s greatest domestic cup competition, is set to do double duty this year, deciding Europe’s best, as well as England’s. While Real Madrid’s dream of playing for the title at the Santiago Bernabeu in ’09-10 was crushed by Lyon, for Premier League holders Chelsea and their closest rivals, Arsenal and Manchester United, it’d be twice as sweet to feature in a pair of  May finals in London.

For that to happen, though, one (or two!) of them must fight their way through a Premier League winter and also overcome 31 other clubs, all dreaming of European glory.  The final group qualifications were completed at the end of August, quickly followed by the seeding and drawing for group assignment.   Now, the transfer window has closed and squads are set until January.  So what are we waiting for?  It’s time to get this party started.

Here, then, is a breakdown, group by group, of the proving ground for those who would move on to Wembley.  Read on to see how your side rates in the 2010-11 UEFA Champions League.

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Group A

Appropriately, we start with the defending champions.  With only two significant changes at Inter Milan this year, Mario Balotelli’s exit would usually be considered the most important.  Not so much, though, when Jose Mourinho is the other mega-star bidding farewell and his is, obviously, the more difficult act to follow.  Not surprisingly, given their history at Chelsea and Liverpool, new man Rafa Benitez has been rising to the Portuguese’s steady stream of bait, trying to convince anyone with a microphone in hand that Mourinho’s departure really isn’t that big a deal.

As confident as the Spaniard is, with Jose’s treble winning side still largely intact, it’s shaping up to be a tough season for Rafa on all fronts.  During the Serie A summer, Roma, Sampdoria and Napoli all improved and AC Milan came out of nowhere, at the last minute, to snatch up Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Robinho.  A sixth Scudetto on the trot will be difficult, to say the least.  Making matters worse, they’ve been drawn into one of the tougher groups in the Champions League.  In Milan, this year, there will be no rest for the weary.

Tottenham Hotspurs‘ fortunes, ironically, owe much to the squad selection of former Inter and current Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho.  Not only did Spurs reach a literally last second deal with the Castilian giants, to claim the unwanted Rafael van der Vaart (notice the Special One’s tendency to dislike anyone named Rafa), but Mourinho’s recruitment of German attacking mid Mesut Ozil has put a crimp in Bremen’s ability to challenge for the second group spot.

Harry Redknapp, as he prefers, has no end of attacking options and so the injury to Jermaine Defoe is more of an inconvenience. Peter Crouch, Roman Pavlyuchencko, Robbie Keane, Gareth Bale, van der Vaart, Nico Kranjcar and Luca Modric should make the England striker’s absence bearable.  It’s the back end that’s lagging for the London lads.  Ledley King’s knees will never be 100%, Jonathan Woodgate is doing a better Owen Hargreaves impression than the man himself, Michael Dawson is out for 8 weeks and while new signing William Gallas may shore things up in the early doors, it’s only a matter of time before he starts grating on nerves.  He’s done that wherever he’s played, on either side of the Chunnel.

Werder Bremen instantly missed departed Mesut Ozil, being thrashed by Hoffenheim to open their Bundesliga campaign.  They did rebound with a 4-2 home victory over Lukas Podolski’s FC Köln, though.   Tim Wiese, Per Mertesacke and Torsten Frings can do better in the back but, up front, Claudio Pizzaro, Hugo Almeida and young Marko Arnautovic will be lost without someone to provide service.  If Marko Marin can make the transition to the inside, playing at the tip of the 4-4-2 diamond, the mourning period for Ozil may be short.

Last season, Steve McLaren rediscovered his managerial mojo, after a disastrous spell as England boss (is there any other kind?).  Leading cash strapped FC Twente to a domestic double, their first, Steve-o held off Martin Jol’s attempt to re-establish Ajax,PSV& Feyenoord’s rule over the Eredivisie, after AZ Alkmaar had cast them down in 09.  Trouble is, he’s off to Wolfsburg to take the next step in his recovery.  Michel Preud’homme leads the Tukkers now and they’ve started out well domestically.  This group is a tall task, however, especially with limited personnel.

Analysis: Benitez may have a lot ahead of him but I can’t see him tripping out of the blocks.  Inter should win this group and even if they do slip, it should only mean a more difficult opponent in the round of 16.   Bremen and Spurs will fight for the second spot but I’m tipping Spurs.  The Germans have more experience and are stronger in the back but Redknapp’s crew are too fast, too many and too hungry.

Group B

Two seasons ago, Felix Magath drove Wolfsburg from obscurity to the summit of the Bundesliga, before moving to Schalke 04.  Magath, is a direct, no-nonsense manager, who looks to surround himself with reliable people.  That may be why Kevin Kuranyi is now plying his trade in Moscow, rather than Gelsenkirchen.  Raul is now the talisman, to be supported by late transfer Klaas-Jan Huntelaar.  Christophe Metzelder anchors the back line and German #1, Manuel Neuer is the man between the posts.  It may take a little time for the new squad to gel but if they can, they will be difficult.

Claude Puel has become used to the revolving door at Olympique Lyonnais.  The top players, like Karim Benzema and Florent Malouda aren’t usually around for long, so the former Lille manager has gone back to what he knows, building a solid, cohesive squad that can compete with anyone.  Last year that philosophy paid off with a terrific run to the Champions League semi-finals.  This year, with the addition of Yoann Gourcuff’s midfield creativity to Jeremy Toulalan’s solid holding capabilities, Lyon should be a more balanced squad.

This is the type of group that Benfica can exploit.  The Portuguese giants, twice winners of the Champions League, as always, have a solid team, though not spectacular by continental standards.  With Fabio Coentrao, Luisao and Maxi Perreira at the back, defence can become attack very quickly.  Up front Oscar Cardozo and Javier Saviola provide a danger to any goal.  Pablo Aimar is the tip of a diamond shaped midfield which, while not as polished as some, does play well as a unit.   Manager Jorge Jesus will want to make a quick start in the group, with his two main opponents still working out the kinks.

The other three clubs in the group may be wary of each other but if they let up against Hapoel Tel Aviv, they’ll be in for a shock.  The one time Asian champions are starting to make their mark in Europe.  Last season, they won their Europa League group before bowing out to Russian sensations Rubin Kazan.  This year, they’ve qualified for their first Champions League group stage.  Somewhat hampered by a very strict Homegrown Rule (no more than 5 foreigners on any squad), the Israeli’s are nonetheless very game.

Analysis: There are so many ifs in this group that it’s very difficult to nominate a winner, or even a loser, out of the top three.  With eyes closed and fingers crossed, I’ll go with Schalke and Benfica to advance, mostly on the basis of their managers’ stronger and more recent championship pedigrees.  I also think Lyon might feel some effect from the current French national malaise, making them more susceptible to lapses.

Group C

The Premier League looks to be even more competitive and Chelsea have roared out of the gate.  So, even the contrary Sir Alex Ferguson has to be happy with Manchester United‘s draw.  Not only should it be favourable from a competitive standpoint but the travel destinations are also advantageous, with two Mediterranean sunspots and a quick hop up to Glasgow on the itinerary.

United’s attack looks more diverse, after Wayne Rooney carried the whole load last year.  Young Javier Hernandez has fit right in and Dimitar Berbatov has rediscovered some form.  Rooney, despondent after a poor World Cup is beginning to look like himself again.  In midfield, Paul Scholes is experiencing some deja vu, pulling the strings like a far younger version of himself and Ryan Giggs continues to play as though he has a painting, a la Dorian Gray, safely hidden somewhere about Old Trafford.  If either should falter, young Darron Gibson is more than ready to step in.  With Chris Smalling and Jonny Evans also coming along, Rio Ferdinand’s chronic back and knee problems are only a minor concern.  Rather than a challenge, the group stages are more of a welcome respite for Fergie’s charges.

Unai Emery’s Valencia are not what they were with the David’s, Villa and Silva.  They are younger.  Beyond that, if their 3-1 La Liga debut at Malaga is any indication, nothing much has changed. Aritz Aduriz has been brought in to help Joaquin Sanchez provide leadership but Ever Banega and Juan Manuel Mata will have to be bled on the march.  There is bound to be some adversity along the road and the measure of the young guns will be taken in how they respond.  Still, los Che have to fancy their chances of sliding in beside United, for the second qualifying spot out of the group.

The Old Firm showed some hints of agoraphobia in the last campaign, as both Celtic and Rangers crashed out of Europe spectacularly.  Unlike Tony Mowbray, Walter Smith was able to exert some damage control on the domestic front, and the blue shirts won the Scottish league going away.  With some key members of the squad, Maurice Edu (USA), Madjid Bougherra (Algeria) and Vladimir Weiss (Slovakia), having been tempered in the crucible of the World Cup finals, and 40 year old captain David Weir receiving his first call up for national duty in some time, Smith is hopeful his side show more competitive fire during this year’s travels.

Having claimed their first Turkish Super Lig title, relatively unknown Bursaspor are the wide-eyed tourists of Group C.  The Green Crocodiles’ heads will surely be turned when visiting such storied venues as Old Trafford, Mestalla and the Ibrox, especially with their squad largely homegrown.  It will be in the hands of well travelled Argentine Federico Insua, who has played in the top flight at home, as well as Mexico, Spain and Germany, to keep his teammates minds on the task at hand, else tears will be shed.  Like as not, however, the most enjoyable parts of their travels are going to be before the referee blows the whistle.

Analysis: I don’t want to shock anyone but United will win the group.  The Glaswegians will challenge Valencia for the right to move on but I think they’re the more likely of the pair to drop points to the Turks.  With just a quick jaunt across the Med to face the minnows, the Spaniards will be much less out of their element.  Sadly, Bursaspor’s first appearance in the Champions League will not be a Turkish delight.

Group D

If anything, Barcelona have it easier than United.  None of the three clubs in this group pose a real threat to the Catalans, even though they were surprised last year by Rubin Kazan.  You can best believe, however, that Pep Guardiola will have his players chewing on that bone as they make a return journey north.

Barca have a slightly different look this year.  Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s power game never meshed in the Nou Camp and he’s back in Milan, albeit with AC, rather than Inter.  Thierry Henry and Rafa Marquez, no longer up to the pace, have taken up teaching positions in the Big Apple. David Villa is a much better fit with Lionel Messi and Liverpool escapee Javier Mascherano adds some steel to that sublime midfield corps.  And Pep is still stalking Cesc Fabregas!

Athens giants, Panathinaikos, have developed a cosmopolitan flavour.  There is the French strike pairing of Djibril Cisse and Sidney Govou,  Spaniard Luis Garcia and Brazil’s Gilberto da Silva in the midfield.  Malian Cedric Kante and another Frenchman, Jean-Alain Boumsong are in defense.  Yet, their best player might be homeboy Sotiris Ninis.  Young, quick and clever, the Greek now has some World Cup experience, to boot.  Even with all the veterans around him, he reminds doubters that theTryfilli have an eye for the future.

Jesper Gronkjaer, still swift at 33, leads FC Copenhagen.  The Lions are Danish champions two years on the trot and seven times for the decade.  Unfortunately, that dominance hasn’t translated to the European stage.  Plain and unassuming, the Danes must play perfect football to have a hope of progressing in this group but they are a well balanced unit, capable of taking a result.  If they put in enough hard working shifts, they just might be see a nice payoff at the end.

With former Newcastle standout, Obafemi Martins still looking to open his account, five games into his Rubin Kazan career, the two time Russian Premier League holders are sitting four points behind Luciano Spaletti’s Zenit St. Petersburg.  Zenit are a traditional power, while the Kazan club has a journeyman history in the lower levels of Russian and Soviet leagues.  It’s a classic case of speed v power, puncher v boxer, Rocky Balboa v Apollo Creed and, at the moment, Gurban Burdiyev’s Rubies are taking it on the chin.  Where’s Burgess Meredith when you really need him?

Analysis: Another unimaginative pick for you, as Barcelona waltz through the group.  I’d like to think that Panathanaikos’ experience will see them through, as well.  It’ll be tough, though, especially if Rubin Kazan can find a goal scoring touch.  Copenhagen won’t necessarily bring up the rear, as 2nd through 4th will be a toss up, but they don’t look to have enough to progress.

Group E

Bayern Munich began last season struggling to recover after sinking to the depths of 2nd place in the ’09 Bundesliga campaign.  Such are the expectations of the league’s flagship club that anything less than leading the fleet is abject failure.  Dutch master Louis van Gaal was tasked with restoring the Bavarians to their accustomed place.  Once he removed the mutinous Luca Toni, the club charted a course to overtake Bayer Leverkuesen atop the table.

There were three unexpected sources for their success.  Ivica Olic’s emergence glossed over the tepid seasons of both Miro Klose and Mario Gomez.  Holger Badstuber’s steady play an versatility, on the left and in centre of defence, was key in covering for injuries.  Finally, Thomas Müller’s rapid ascendance, which extended to the world stage in the summer, compensated for the chronic injury issues besetting wingers Franck Ribery and Arjen Robben.  With all those players returning and the addition of Toni Kroos in midfield, there is no reason that Bayern shouldn’t realistically target Wembley as their final port of call in 2011.

AS Roma brought in their own managerial miracle worker, Claudio Ranieri, in ’09-10, and he put wind in their sails, as well as on their shirts.  Eclipsing an aging AC Milan and reeling in the heady Sampdorians, Roma put a scare into Jose Mourinho’s plans for total European dominance. Last season, the stumbling block was up front, with Francesco Totti slowing considerably and Ranieri’s gamble, in rescuing Luca Toni, proving a bad one.

This season, Claudio is again attempting to salvage a career.  The troublesome Adriano is back in the Serie A, where he has never seemed able to maintain a focus on his day job, much preferring the Italian nightlife.  If it all comes together, Roma will be contending for more than one trophy in spring.  If not, well, Ranieri best not think about that.

Swiss international captain, Alexander Frei, at 31, is back to wrap up his club career where it began, at FC Basel.  The cantankerous Frei, famous for spitting at Steven Gerrard  in the ’04 Euros, spent time at Rennes and Borussia Dortmund while simultaneously providing most of the Swiss offence under Ottmar Hitzfeld.   The other notable player in the Bebbi lineup is Ghanian right back Samuel Inkoom.  Basel, like Copenhagen, dominate domestically and feature a home flavoured squad.  Unfortunately, in Europe that stands them in as much stead as it does the Danes, which is to say not a lot.

Over the past four years, CFR Cluj have enjoyed great success in Romania and, with a motley collection of Euro travelers, haven’t done too badly in Europe.  Having won their second domestic crown and held onto the Romanian Cup, Cluj get another CL crack at Roma after having stunned them in 2008, 1-2, in the Eternal City.  It will certainly be tougher, this time around, as the Italians will be looking for a measure of revenge.   Stamford Bridge fans will well remember that the Romanians followed that victory up with a scoreless away draw, against the Blues.

Analysis: Both Bayern and Roma should feel relatively comfortable about making it out of this group.  They have more than enough quality to get the job done.  Should they take their superiority for granted, however, they’ll quickly learn that their two group companions can do more than make up weight.

Group F

Carlos Ancelotti brought Chelsea back to the top of the Premier League, where they hadn’t been since Jose Mourinho’s tenure.  The Italian even went the Portuguese one better by securing a domestic double.  That he did it with what was essentially Jose’s old squad didn’t seem to dampen his spirits.  However, Mourinho himself tempered Ancelotti’s ecstacy, winning both sides of their two legged CL tie.

This year Chelsea have launched their Premier League campaign with the power of a moon bound rocket and some of Jose’s recruits are not along for the ride.  Joe Cole, Michael Ballack and Ricardo Carvalho are all elsewhere.  Stepping into the gap are Florent Malouda, Branislav Ivanovic and Yossi Benayoun, as well as a healthy Michael Essien.  Also likely to be trusted with more responsibilities will be Salomon Kalou, Daniel Sturridge and possibly Gael Kakuta.  The foundations at the Bridge are still sound and crossing over into European glory may finally be the Blues’ destination.

Didier Deschamps did not take the France job, preferring to remain at Olympique de Marseilles.  If les Bleus’performance at the Stade de France, a fortnight past, is any indication, Didier is quite happy not to be in former teammate, Laurent Blanc’s shoes, even with his own club’s mid-table start to the Ligue 1 season. OM didn’t make much noise in the transfer window, although Hatem Ben Arfa was very vocal in his eagerness to move to England.  He’s now at Newcastle but Andre-Pierre Gignac and young Loic Remy  are capable of picking up the slack.  The midfield is steeped in quality, with Lucho Gonzalez and Brandao leading the way.  Steve Mandanda captains from goal and el Gringo, Gaby Heinze is around to lend some sharp steel to the back line.  Don’t expect the French champs to remain merely average for long.

Glasgow born and Republic of Ireland international Aiden McGeady has arrived in Russia to change the forunes of the struggling Spartak Moscow club.  Sitting 3 points and 2 places out of European contention, Spartak need all the help they can get.  Brazilians Welliton (13) and  Ari (5) provide all of the punch but the anemic offence may be less of a worry than the the loss of defender Martin Jiranek to Birmingham City.  At the moment, domestic issues would seem to demand more of manager Valery Karpin’s attention than European concerns.

Another domestic giant who loses its way when traveling the continent is MSK Zilina, perennial Slovakian champions.  The Susoni, managed by Czech Pavel Hapal, are strictly a regional club.  Having played in all save one season of the young Slovak super-league, Zilina have either been champions (5x) or runners-up (3x) in half of them.   Almost the entire squad is made up of Slovaks or Czechs, barring just four players, one of whom is Bosnian.  It just goes to show you, that in a very small pond, even a minnow can be a big fish.

Analysis: If Chelsea don’t have virtually everything their own way in this group, I will eat my socks (I need my hat).  Marseilles should pick up the scraps with Spartak distracted and Zilina not a factor.

Group G

If this isn’t the group of death in the 2010-11 CL, it’s definitely the ‘Group of Champions.’  Real Madrid, although they haven’t won in 8 years, are, of course, the ultimate European champions, with 9 pieces of silver in the roomy Santiago Bernabeu trophy cabinet.  Jose Mourinho has come to town to lift that number into double figures and, to date, he has delivered wherever he has been.  His new signings indicate that he intends to leave Madrid as he has every other club, with a squad that can challenge for trophies long after he’s departed.  Mesut Ozil, at 21, replaces the creativity of 33 year old Guti and the injured Kaka.  Sami Khedira, 23, offers more pace than the 28 year old Xabi Alonso and a better attacking dynamic than Mahamadou Diarra, 29.  Finally, Angel di Maria, 22, will make defences think twice about shifting over to cover Cristiano Ronaldo.  Jose will blend the youngsters in slowly but the club has enough depth to compete on several fronts and to give domestic concerns to an aging Barcelona side.

With 7 European Cups on display at the San Siro, Silvio Berlusconi doesn’t like to be an afterthought.  So, before the transfer window closed, he orchestrated a series of deals that put AC Milan right back in the Serie A spotlight.  Zlatan Ibrahimovic, whose pace and power should fit in well, is on a one year loan from Barca.  Robinho, lonely and homesick in England, now has no excuses with Ronaldinho and Alexandre Pato to lighten the dreary work day and, in Ronaldinho’s case at least, introduce him to the best nightclubs.  To make room and keep the books balanced, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar is now with Schalke.  Kevin-Prince Boateng adds strength to the midfield and Thiago Silva and Alessandro Nesta anchor the line.  With Gennaro Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo, Clarence Seedorf, Mathieu Flamini and Onweyu Oguchi, there is depth and experience enough to let both Inter and Real know that this will not be an easy year.

As 4 time European club champions, Ajax round out the 20 championships crammed into Group G.  Without the depth or financing of Real or Milan, the Amsterdam side have to be rated as outsiders, yet if someone lets them get their foot in the door, they have the strength to force it open.  Maarten Stekelenberg back stopped the Oranje to the World Cup final with support from Andre Oojier, Gregory van der Wiel and Demy de Zeeuw.  With Martin Jol settled as manager, they’ll now look for club glory, as well.  Uruguayan Luis Suarez has pledged Ajax his future and wears the captain’s arm band.  He’ll mentor countryman Nicolas Lodeiro and the young Dane sensation, Christian Eriksen, from the unfortunately named hamlet of Middlefart.  Chemistry issues do arise with the presence of 7 time loanee Mido, providing attacking support.

French side AJ Auxerre are a fish out of water in their present company.  Fish maybe but not minnows.  Auxerre have risen to the upper reaches of  Ligue 1 in the past two seasons, finishing 3rd last year.  This is a workmanlike club, disciplined but lacking in starpower. Outside of France, its most familiar players would be forward Valter Birsa, of Slovenia, and the gritty Swiss defender, Stephane Grichting.  While not well known, their more famous opponents had best be prepared because, as any Ligue 1 side will gladly inform them, Auxerre aren’t shy about introducing themselves.

Analysis: The abundance of hardware in this group may stir up some nostalgia and pride, which could very well turn it into a group of death. Real, under Jose’s firm guidance will lay claim to the top spot. Luis Suarez has a way of showing up in big moments and making a difference as 49 club goals and one World Cup save will attest.  You can’t count Ajax out and AC Milan’s one weakness may be the continental naivete of its new manager Massimiliano Allegri.  Auxerre will make the others work but they are just too far out of their depths.

Group H

There’s a term in American slang for Arsenal.  Snakebit.  Just as they get rolling and have Chelsea and Man United looking over their shoulders, a key player is stricken with a critical injury.  Usually, as it is right now, that player is Robin van Persie but it’s also happened with Cesc Fabregas, Samir Nasri, Tomas Rosicky and the departed Eduardo da Silva.  Last year, United supporters were fretting over what would happen should Wayne Rooney blow a tire and be sidelined for a significant period.  That happens repeatedly to Arsenal in every campaign and it’s a major reason they haven’t collected any silverware in six years.  Still, a gimpy Gunner squad is more than capable of making their way to the elimination rounds from this group.

The Premier Leaguers will find a familiar face across the pitch when they meet up with Shakhtar Donetsk.  Former Gunner Eduardo, he of the broken leg while at the Emirates, is now the key man in the Miners set-up.  Brazilians Luiz Adriano and Jadson, the goalscorers in Shakhtar’s surprising 2009 UEFA Cup championship triumph over Werder Bremen are still around and still young (23 & 26 respectively).  Overall, the Ukrainian club likes to play an attractive passing game.  They’re not in Arsenal’s class when it comes to finesse but they do have a bit more grit.

Most of Braga‘s players share something in common with the club.  Short names.  In all, 17 of them have followed in the honourific tradition of Pele, Junior, Ronaldo and Kaka.  If you think you’ve deduced a large population of Brazilians in the squad, you’re correct, although one or two of them do have a second name, most notably George Lucas.  Meanwhile, manager Domingo Pacienca has to be hoping that no one tells the big boys in the group that his club are sometimes known as the Arsenalists.  He’ll have enough problems trying to get a result out of those two matches without any bulletin board material introduced into the mix.  May the force be with them.

One half of Eastern Europe’s greatest football derby, Partizan Belgrade, is back in the Champions League for the first time since 2003.  It was a tough battle for them to get here, too.  The final qualifying tie with RSC Anderlecht consisted of a pair of 2-2 draws, extra time and a penalty shootout, which Partizan finally won 3-2.  After that, the home and home against Red Star this season will seem like a romantic stroll in the park.  When they were last in the group stages, seven years ago, they were last in the group.  Not much is likely to change.

Analysis: Arsenal have been drawn into a group which, largely, likes to play the same open style that Arsene Wenger worships.  Since none of his opponents are Barcelona, he’s unlikely to be beaten at his own game.  That leaves one pass into the later stages for the other three sides to scrap over.  Despite the fact that Braga’s Brazilians outnumber Shakhtar’s almost 3-1, I’m going with the Ukraine.  They know how to get down and dirty when needed and that will make the difference.

..

The action gets underway in midweek and by Christmas, we’ll know who’ll be continuing their continental travels and who’ll have to be satisfied by redoubling their domestic efforts.  Enjoy the action and I’ll see you after the holidays, with the elimination round preview!

Unfortunately that happy story was quickly shouldered aside and no surprise when the News of the World and Sunday Mirror continue to disgrace our presence.  It really is none of our business what footballers or any other celebrities do in their spare time or with whom they do it.  Like as not, the fish wraps had just as much proof (see nada) in making these allegations as they did in the Bridge/Perroncel/Terry case.

Kudos to Milner for standing behind his mate.

Wayne Rooney hasn’t made a statement on the matter yet but the rest of the media has jumped on board, speculating on such ridiculous things as his World Cup form suffering because he was afraid this story was about to break.  If that’s the case, he must have confided in his teammates because their performances were every bit as abysmal as his.  At this point it won’t really matter what, if anything, the United star has to say.  The majority of the public is only too willing to give credibility to a young woman whose only prospects in life are her equally loose morals and tongue.

What we need is the Beeb, or some other reasonably ethical news source, to follow NOTW and Mirror employees around surreptitiously, dig up their pasts and expose all their peccadilloes.  Unfortunately, even their own houses were exposed as being constructed of glass, they’d probably continue throwing stones.  Anything for a few bob in the pocket.

Fortunately, my parakeets have just finished eating a pound or so of seed and I can shove these sorry excuses for newspapers where they belong, at the bottom of the cage, shit to catch shit, and get on to the weekend highlights.

Enjoy!

Geoff did say he was growing a beard ahead of this trip.

Geoff Edwards (Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?)

Geoff is still on holiday and he will be sorry to have missed:

Belgium 0 – 1 Germany

Once again, it was Klose but Germany pulled out a 1-0 victory over  Georges Leekens’ Belgians.   The home side was very frisky early on but could not find a way past Manuel Neuer.  They would regret that, as the three headed World Cup monster of Lukas Podolski, Thomas Müller and Miroslav Klose began to attack the Rote Teufel goal.  Six minutes into the restart, an inattentive Vincent Kompany was dispossessed on the edge of the box.  The loose ball caromed directly to Müller, who quickly found Klose, alone with the space, time and precision to find the corner of goal.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eum_lEcEZKM

Germany continued their half century mastery over Belgium but Leekens can take heart in the overall play of his squad.

Tapesh Patel

Tapesh Patel

France 0-1 Belarus

A French pundit called this result “la douche froide” (a cold shower) and France certainly received a rude awakening from a very average Belarus side. There were many positives – Florent Malouda sparkled as captain, while Yann M’Vila again belied his tender years – but ultimately Belarus seized upon France’s profligacy in front of goal. Midfielder Sergey Kisliak horrified Les Bleus with an 86th minute winner, and France have now lost four in a row, their worst run since 1937.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxuMnOUJ8xA

Lithuania 0-0 Scotland

When previewing this match, I called it a tight six-pointer and that’s exactly how it panned out. Scotland undoubtedly had the better of the game, but did not have the tools to unlock their opponents, who frequently disrupted the Scottish rhythm with some tough tackling. This was a missed opportunity for Scotland, and only a win will now do against Liechtenstein on Tuesday.

Editor’s note:  So, we were thinking… Why post some drab highlights from a nil-nil snorefest(?) when there was a more entertaining international taking place nearby that we thought you might like to see!  The camera-man’s work isn’t the best and neither is his English but it’s good fun nonetheless.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBIZ_A8H7c8

Chris Mann

Chris Mann

Avi Goldberg

Avi Goldberg

San Marino 0 – 5  The Netherlands

Bert Van Marwijk waited to release the names of the starting 11 until the game is about to start.   Opting for a consistent formation, he hasn’t changed much, even though he could have played a more aggressive shape against  a lightwieight side.  Johny Heitinga, suspended for his red card v Spain, was replaced in the heart of defence by Hedwiges Maduro.  First half difficulties made it obvious that the Oranje had used up a lot of emotional energy, being in a long and ultimately fruitless chase of the World Cup. A little time was needed to get back together on the pitch and start again.

Minutes after a goal was ruled offside, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar was brought down in the box and Dirk Kuyt converted the penalty. On the 26th minute, however,  there came a scary moment for keeper Maarten Stekelenburg.  Andy Selva shot from afar and almost caught him off guard. That brought the focus back to the side, though, and a quickly taken free kick from Wesley Sneijder gave the opportunity for Kuyt to cross for Huntelaar to tap in 2-0.

Not a phenomenal first half but the second introduced more creativity in the field, when Rafael van der Vaart put Huntelaar to his second and third for the night. The moment of return then came, as Kuyt made way for Ruud Van Nistelrooy.  Van ‘The Man’ couldn’t be happier, after scoring a nice volley in extra time, to make it a final 5-0.

Okay, it was against a much weaker team but the Oranje got their first 3 points and will look to continue with the same solid and successful formation against their next opponent, Finland.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEqb84OUG7M

Martin Palazzotto

Martin Palazzotto

Major League Soccer

The swing match in the weekend spate took place at Rio Tinto Stadium, in Salt Lake.  The Red Bulls came to town without defender Rafa Marquez, who was captaining Mexico to a loss against Ecuador, and were completely disorganised in the first half.  Fabio Espindola’s strike, for Real, should have been one of many but the home side didn’t take their chances.  New York found their shape in the second 45 but not an equaliser.

With the LA Galaxy managing a draw in Chicago and the Columbus Crew taking care of business, with a 0-1 victory at cellar dwelling DC United, the Western Conference became much tighter, while the gap in the East widened.

Salt Lake, the MLS Cup holders, are now positioned to snatch the Supporter’s Shield, for best overall record.  The Galaxy have been bleeding points since their upset loss to Puerto Rico Islanders, in the CONCACAF Champions League qualifiers.  David Beckham’s rumoured return can’t come soon enough for manager Bruce Arena.

That Chicago managed only a draw against the fallen Angelinos doesn’t bode well for thir fading playoff hopes.  They do still have 2 games in hand on the field but will have to take maximum points from them to be a factor at season’s end.  meanwhile, watch out for FC Dallas coming out of the west.  Despite sitting 5th in the table they have gotten results out of more games than any other side, thus far, having lost just twice.

Real Salt Lake v NY Red Bulls

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te29oncHmZs

..

Chicago Fire v LA Galaxy

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fZIViCiHB8

Mexican Apertura

Chivas de Guadalajara 3 – 0  UAG Tecos

The Goats are definitely baa-a-aa-ack!  Before a packed Estadio OmniLife. in Guadalajara, Chivas put the horns to derby rivals Tecos.  Having spent the early part of the Apertura season more concerned with chasing the Copa Libertadores in South America, Jose Luis Real’s squad knew they had work to do, if they are to figure in the first half of the split season.  They quickly got down to business, showing the difference between themselves and last place Tecos.

On 37 minutes, midfielder Marco Fabian connected with a perfect long distance backdoor cross to Omar Bravo, who headed the Goats into the lead.  In the second half, the skies opened up and so did Chivas.  After seeing several chances denied by Tecos keeper, Mario Rodriguez, Ricardo Vasquez Gallien finally found a way past him to double the lead.  The skies would clear but Chivas continued to rain shots on Rodriguez.  At the death, Marco Fabian would cap off the scoring, after a mad scramble around the Tecos box.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMN5NsIuaA0

Argentine Apertura

Velez Sarsfield 2 – 1 River Plate

Faced with a herculean task, needing to defeat city rivals River Plate, to both leapfrog them and keep pace with cheeky Arsenal de Sarandi, Velez Sarsfield made full use of their home pitch advantage to earn a hard fought victory.  Juan Manuel Martinez opened the scoring for Velez, just after the half hour but Diego Buonanotte pegged the home side back just before time.  It was a rough match all around, with both sides earning 4 cautions.  Santiago Silva’s penalty conversion, in the 58th minute put El Fortin on top once more but they had to circle the wagons when Leandro Somoza was sent off with almost 20 minutes remaining.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3OL4do6e6E

Eliot Rothwell

Eliot Rothwell

Montenegro 1 – 0 Wales

It’s fair to say Wales will be disappointed with this result. Montenegro ran out winners from a Mirko Vucinic goal that was celebrated emphatically by his countrymen.  John Toshack’s side never really looked threatening going forward and lacked a creative outlet in midfield, to assist the attacking players.

Wales will need to improve to have any hope of qualifying.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltf-MgJqny4

Editor’s note:  According to reports, John Toshack has decided to throw in the towel.  In two years, he’s been unable to make any progress with the squad and apparently alienated the most talented of his players.  As his decision caught the FAW by surprise, there is no successor in the frame and Toshack has agreed to stay on until one is found.

England 4 – 0 Bulgaria

A great win and a good performance. Not spectacular but good. This doesn’t makes England world beaters but certainly shows that the players were capable of achieving more at the World Cup.  Hopefully,as a result, certain facets of the press may now take a step back from their mindless Capello baiting.

Jermaine Defoe looked lively upfront and England reaped the rewards of some tidy finishing. There are still question marks to be solved for England, the largest of those being the bumbling Glen Johnson who, apart from having superb physical attributes, has an astounding lack of technique, tactical awareness and positioning. Onwards we go.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSwm_NginjA

Slovenia 0 – 1 Northern Ireland

A 1-0, backs against the wall, away win. It can only be Northern Ireland. Nigel Worthington’s men overcame the lacklustre Slovenian’s through a combination of smart tactics and fighting spirit. The younger of the Evans brothers, Corey, netted the winning goal in a game that saw Northern Ireland illustrate that they may be a force to be reckoned with.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCz7ZtTwuFw

Kris Dwyer

The Oz Files with Kris Dwyer

Socceroos 0 – 0 Switzerland

Well that was dour wasn’t it? A nil-all draw, but good signs, as Australia moved away from the dredge of a 1 man strike force, something we’ve been succumbing to for years, under Dutch management.

Scott Macdonald has a lot to answer for, having missed many gilt-edged chances.  However, Helger Osieck has defended the striker, claiming he admired his work rate.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFmCFU50deg

Perth Glory 2 – 1 Wellington Phoenix

This game was always gonna be big, and the crowd of the round showed up in force in Western Australia with 10,844 fans filing into nib Stadium.  The game got off with a masterpiece of brilliance, Robbie Fowler turning and placing a lobbed through-pass onto the boot of Todd Howarth, from the centre of the park.  Howarth then crossed it straight to Mile Sterjovski, for a tap-in in front of the adoring ‘shed,’ after just six minutes  The Glory were then denied a second by the referee who incorrectly called Sterjovski offside, and both sides went into the break, with the Glory 1-0 up.

On the restart, the Glory again came out fired up.  This time, Mile Sterjovski proved to be provider for marquee man Robbie Fowler, who headed it graciously into the net for his second Perth Glory goal and first in front of a home crowd.  There was a late rush home by Wellington Phoenix, however.  In the 76th minute, Ben Sigmund rose above the Glory defence, to nod home past Velaphi, but the Glory ran out winners in an end to the game that left fans on the edge of their seat.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_MV0f81sxc

Interviewed during the break, former Glory player and fan favourite Eugene Dadi provided a moment of hilarity.  ”Well I’m waiting for a contract and it’s Fathers Day.  Dadi is here!” quipped the 37 year old Ivorian.   Comical Brilliance.

Melbourne Heart 1 – 0 North Queensland Fury

Not much to say about this one, other than the stock of Nick Kalmar continues to rise. His meteoric ascent from the second tier VPL has been one of the stories of the year, with the young player already off the mark, with two goals.  Kalmar’s well timed header, in the first half, was enough for the Heart to secure their first win of the season and they jump up into sixth place with 5 points.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnMXBh7HVqM

Once again, we’ve been happy to put the World in World Football Columns.  Just in case you haven’t had enough video, we’ll leave you with a clip from the Glory Shed in Perth, where the home supporters welcome their Kiwi visitors with a short verse.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnYkfCftNwc

It’s not very cultured but, last I checked, the Opera House was in Sydney, not Perth.

See you on Friday!

This week, that means the first spate of qualifiers for Euro 2012, as well as plenty of fixtures in Australia, Argentina, Brazil, and the US.  If you didn’t catch our big Euro preview midweek, it’s right here.  The upcoming matches aren’t all that has fans of the European game abuzz this week, though.  The transfer market has closed, although not without a flurry of last minute business.

Now that Alex has this transfer thingy down, maybe he can find a decent barber.

If you see a smiling Harry Redknapp walking about London, during the break, don’t ask him for an autograph.  His hands are still swollen from a last desperate grab, just as the transfer window slammed shut.  His grin is genuine,  though, because coming away with Real Madrid’s surplus midfield magician, Rafael van der Vaart, for Tottenham, was certainly worth the pain.

In Birmingham, Alex McLeish has no need of painkillers.  His timing was much better than Redknapp’s, as he landed Barca benchwarmer, Alex Hleb, Chilean World Cup winger Jean Beausejour and the towering Spartak Moscow centre back, Martin Jiranek, all earlier on deadline day,.  With the trio joining the likes of Matt Derbyshire and Ben Foster as newcomers to City, the Blues are looking good to improve on their ninth place finish, last term.  Now chairman, Peter Pannu is on the hook to sign the Scot to a new deal, after having made some unflattering remarks regarding his ability.

Most players only do this after scoring a goal; For Robinho, this is his reaction to everything.

While McLeish and Redknapp were adding to David Cameron’s headaches over immigration, Man City provided some relief for the Tory PM, shipping the red tagged Brazilian, Robinho, to AC Milan, at well over a 50% discount on his £32M purchase price of two years ago.  Although Silvio Berlusconi will need to find some spare change hidden under his mistress, sorry, mattress to exercise the option to purchase Zlatan Ibrahimovic from Barcelona, for €24M in one year’s time, the suddenly economically minded Italian president at least broke even on the Robinho deal, by sending Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to Schalke 04 for €13M.  With the aging squad he has, if the lecherous Berlusconi can keep getting these kinds of players through the door without cracking open his wallet, maybe he does deserve to continue running the entire country for a while longer.

Back in England, all twenty Premier League clubs submitted their 2010 rosters on Wednesday.  Despite all the kerfluffle, no one seemed to have much trouble complying with the Homegrown Rule.  Many clubs simply named less than the maximum 25 non-homegrown players to their squad and supplemented those they did with a bevy of youngsters.  In fact, Arsene Wenger, who is known the world over as a despiser of the rule, got in one last dig, by naming just a 20 man roster, accompanied by a whopping 56 under-21′s.

Oh, and we almost forgot.  Mikel Arteta won’t be playing for England.  The FIFA archivists, working long into the night in their Zurich vaults, uncovered an obscure rule which prevents the Everton midfielder from featuring for the Three Lions.  Apparently, since he played for Spain as a wet-behind-the-ears teenager, without holding a UK passport at the time, it won’t matter if he obtains one now.  That’ll teach us to write a feature article on the subject.

Not a person to be reasoned with.

The  international matches, all scheduled on Friday, make for an early weekend in Europe,  but Monday is the Labour Day holiday in North America.  For MLS fans, that’s not a reason to celebrate.  To them, the holiday is like some horribly mutated version of Groundhogs Day.  The difference, in this case, is that instead of a cute little bucktoothed rodent popping out of a hole, hoping to avoid its own shadow, a pair of terrifyingly large and hideous monsters, known as the NFL and NCAA football emerge from their lairs and stomp on anyone not wearing a football jersey decorated with large numbers on both sides.

Outsized and outnumbered, MLS will soldier on with a full slate of fixtures this weekend.  Mexico, however, features just a single match on its calendar.  Experts believe this has direct relation to the fact that most US Border Patrol agents are massive grid-iron fans, who would never miss opening day.

In the southern half of the Americas, Corinthians legend Roberto Carlos can rest easier tonight.  After years of study, French physicists have confirmed that the incredible bend that the former galactico put on his infamous 1997 free kick against their home side, was indeed no fluke and that the Brazilian deserves every accolade for greatness he receives.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crSkWaJqx-Y

It’s one thing for a planet full of pubcrawlers to argue that you’re the most amazing left back of all time but it’s another when science is on your side.  Forget string theory and quantum mechanics, this is research grant money well spent.

Now to what’s on tap this weekend.  The WFC gang is back to serve it up but you’ll have to supply your own pretzels.

That mad Baggins is off again...

From the desk of the vacationing Geoff Edwards

Belgium v Germany, Euro ’12 Group A

Given that many of the day’s headline matches are of the killer whale versus minnow variety, this tilt stands out at first glance.  Unfortunately, Geoff notes that Die Mannschaft haven’t lost to the Belgians since 1954, which, and I don’t get to say this often enough anymore, is before I was born.  In that match, the Rote Teufel (think ManU or AC Milan) caught the Germans with a major hangover, it being the champions’ first game after winning their initial World Cup.  Thomas Vermaelen wears the armband for the hosts, while Philip Lahm, now officially caretaking for Michael Ballack, leads out the visitors.  As well, Manuel Neuer’s stellar turn in South Africa has earned him the Nr. Ein for Germany.

Chris Mann

Chris Mann

Liechtenstein v Spain Euro ’12 Group I

Undoubtedly the biggest mismatch of the week, newly-crowned world champions Spain will travel to Liechtenstein (population 34,761) on Friday, where they will face a country ranked an incredible 140 places below them in the FIFA rankings. Vicente Del Bosque has named a full-strength team despite the lowly nature of Spain’s opposition and it would hardly be surprising if David Villa, Fernando Torres and friends racked up a double-figure margin of victory at the Rheinpark Stadion.

Estonia v Italy Euro ’12 Group C

The Cesare Prandelli era begins in earnest tomorrow evening, as the Azzurri take on Estonia at the Lillekula Stadium in Tallinn. If a new-look Italian side can gel from the off, led out by redemption minded Daniel De Rossi and Giorgio Chiellini, then Prandelli’s men shouldn’t have a problem with their Baltic opponents, but Estonia – ranked 94th in the world – should not be underestimated. Players such as Tarmo Kink and Andres Oper are more than capable of punishing the Italians should they lose concentration. It should be an straightforward victory for the Azzurri but, as we saw so clearly in South Africa, Italy can be prone to self-destruction.

Eliot Rothwell

Eliot Rothwell

Slovenia v Northern Ireland Euro ’12 Group C

The Slovenians, under Matjez Kek, have made real progress, of late. A play-off victory over Russia cemented their rise to the top table of global football and rocketed them up 60 (yes, 60!) places in the FIFA rankings, all the way to 19th.  The rangy figure of striker Mile Novakovic may cause the likes of Jonny Evans problems, as the slippery Köln striker looks to evade the clutches of his markers.

Meanwhile, Northern Ireland have a problem. They never seem able to get out of a group situation. Even in their last World Cup qualifying group, they were pipped by Slovakia and (you’ve guessed it) Slovenia. Manager Nigel Worthington will no doubt be scratching his silver mane trying to fathom how his side can conquer the likes of England and Spain, yet fail dismally against weaker teams. The Northern Irish cause should be aided by long-time saviour David Healy who, reminiscent of Lukas Podolski, remains out-of-form with his club side, while invariably turning up in spades for his country.

When not whipping Wales into shape, Toshack sings lead on PS Guitar Hero.

Montenegro v Wales Euro ’12 Group G

Recently established on the international stage themselves, Montenegro, host John Toshack’s Wales, in what could be a contender for match of the week.  The Welsh posses an in-form Gareth Bale, lightning quick and blessed with a traction engine in his left boot.  Montenegro, meanwhile are blessed with two goofy-footed technicians of their own. AS Roma’s Mirko Vucinic and Stevan Jovetic, of Anfield goalscoring fame, are more than a match for the weary defence of James Collins and Danny Gabbidon.

With both sides blessed with attacking menace and cursed with frail defences, the highlight reel should be lengthy.

England v Bulgaria Euro ’12 Group G

With the retirement of talisman Dimitar Berbatov, Bulgaria have adopted a 4-2-3-1 in recent matches, with the clear aim of controlling the ball for as long as possible. Martin and Stilian Petrov, in the midfield, should provide the Bulgarians with some creative spark against the too often lacklustre English.

With the English press heavily criticising Fabio Capello of late, the knives will be out should England not win this game and comfortably. Unfortunately for Capello, his side are suffering from any number of injury problems, most notably missing first choice centre-backs John Terry and Rio Ferdinand, as well as rangy impact sub Peter Crouch. This leaves the Italian the tough choice of relying on his out of favour World Cup squad or blooding unproven youngsters in a game that actually matters.

England have often struggled against possession minded sides and whilst they may run out eventual winners, I predict it to be a frustrating one, with the Bulgarians combining technique and tactics to stifle Englands attackers.

Tapesh Patel

Tapesh Patel

France v Belarus Euro ’12 Group D

While this match ushers in a new era for the French, Laurent Blanc probably still doesn’t know his best eleven.  We can therefore expect wholesale changes from the World Cup team.  Philippe Mexes will likely team up with Adil Rami in defence and Loic Rémy with Guillaume Hoarau in attack. The formation Blanc will play is also a complete mystery; the 4-4-2 diamond deployed against Norway will probably change to a straight 4-4-2 or a 4-3-3, due to the lack of an attacking playmaker (with Samir Nasri, Franck Ribery and Yoann Gourcuff all ruled out). The diamond in the rough is undoubtedly Florent Malouda, who has arguably been the best player in the Premiership so far this season.

Belarus will look to spring a shock on France if the hosts start slowly, but it may prove a difficult task, as key winger Aliaksandr Hleb has hardly played since April.  To be honest, though, I wouldn’t like to predict how this will pan out.

Lithuania v Scotland Euro ’12 Group I

Lithuania are still seen as minnows but Scotland will undoubtedly know the threat of their opposition, with many of the home side being current or former practitioners in the Scottish Premier League. Aberdeen’s Andruis Velicka leads the line for the hosts, while former Hearts man Saulius Mykoliunas is sure to get a hot reception, after being banned for play-acting the last time both sides met.  Eight changes have been made by Craig Levein for the match. The most notable are the omission of James McFadden and the inclusion of 40-year-old David Weir, who will become the oldest player ever to have donned the Tartan Blue.

This match will undoubtedly be a tight one, with both sides seeing the match as a proverbial six-pointer.

Avi Goldberg

Avi Goldberg

San Marino v The Netherlands

For their first qualification game, Netherlands coach Bert Van Marwijk must like the thought of San Marino.  The Oranje can afford to play more attacking football but the question is will coach Van Marwijk change the formation and test the new boys, midfielders Hedwiges Maduro, Theo Janssen and the ‘old’ come back of Ruud Van Nistelrooy? The coach has not given any hints whatsoever on the details of the line up but one thing is sure, the fans are expecting a lot of goals.  Playing with a 3 man defence will definitely increase their chances for a nice goal fest.

Martin Palazzotto

Martin Palazzotto

Major League Soccer

As the season hits the stretch run, with most clubs having played 22 of their 34 matches, the top clubs in both conferences are feeling some pressure.  In the east, Columbus are clinging to a four point lead over the hard charging NY Red Bulls.  The Crew are in the capital, hoping to take 3 points from lowly DC United, while Thierry Henry and Rafa Marquez face a strong challenge out west, in Rio Tinto Stadium, versus holders Real Salt Lake.

Real are trying to reel in the west leading Galaxy, who have cooled of late, and would like to take more than a draw from a home match, no matter the opponent.  At the same time, they must look over their shoulders, as FC Dallas have risen out of the midden heap and are breathing down their necks.

LA are in Chicago to face a Fire side that, with the addition of Freddie Ljungberg, has rediscovered its spark.  Fully 13 points behind the 2nd place Red Bulls, with two clubs to climb over before they can even consider the New Yorkers, the Fire have a great deal of work to do.  The good news is that, through some scheduling quirks, they have 3 matches in hand on the rest of the field.  They need to make every one of those count, however.

The Mexican Apertura

If you absolutely, positively can’t do without some Mexican football this weekend, you’ll have to settle for the Guadalajara derby; it’s the only show in town. Chivas and Tecos are propping up the Group 1 table, so if it weren’t for the local rivalry, you might not think much of the prospects for entertainment.  On the other hand, Chivas haven’t really been taking the Apertura seriously, chasing, as they were, after the Copa Libertadores.  Having come up just short in that pursuit, the Goats can fully focus on butting heads with their neighbours and serving notice to the rest of the league that they are baa-a-a-ck.

Argentine Primera Division

On Sunday, Velez Sarsfield, battling it out for second place, with who else but Arsenal (de Sarandi), are confronted with a golden opportunity.  They go into Estadio Jose Amalfitani to face top of the table River Plate.  It’s a heavy-weight battle and the winner will rule the Primera Division roost.  On the other hand, if the aforementioned Argentine Gunners take an inviting 3 points at home against minnows Argentina Juniors, a draw in Buenos Aires could see both of the big boys looking up at a surprise leader.

Kris Dwyer

The Oz Files with Kris Dwyer

After last weekend, when the A-League took a ‘dive’ it’s only fitting that theres some tasty matches coming up.  First though, it’s the Socceroos.

Australia v Switzerland in Qatar

It’s a big game for Holger Osieck, the new $2million man at the head of the Socceroos.  However the ‘Roos have been dealt a blow with injuries to Michael Beauchamp (ankle), Josh Kennedy (back) and Harry Kewell (groin) limiting the squad for the upcoming international friendly match against Switzerland.  After consultation with the  three players and their clubs, Osieck has decided that they would not be required in camp.  Instead, the German has added Jon McKain and Tommy Oar into the squad.

On to the A-League, then…

Apparently, Perth have this nice chap named Fowler in their squad. Supposed to be famous or something.

Grudge Match – Perth Glory v Wellington Phoenix @ nib Stadium

Last season, the two play-off debutants faced each other in the first round, with the Phoenix taking out the match in a heart breaking penalty shootout.  The Kiwis ended up going all the way to the Preliminary Final only to be knocked out by eventual champions Sydney FC, whilst the Purple Army from the west seethed and dreamt of what might have been.

With the home side branding this as their chance for revenge, you can only expect fireworks, especially with former Glory players Jade North, Leo Bertos and new signing Nicky Ward, all making the trip west.  The Glory are at near full strength, with only Michael Baird (suspension) and Victor Sikora (long term hip injury) unavailable.

One to Watch – Melbourne Heart v North Queensland Fury @ AAMI Stadium

Melbourne Heart are desperate to get their first win ever in the Hyundai A-League and North Queensland Fury are a team desperate to get back to winning ways.  Both sides play fluid Euro-esque attacking football, and, without a doubt, have two of the most passionate, flamboyant managers in the league, making this match a real cracker for the neutral.

..

Well, that about wraps it up.  We’ll be back on Monday with more news, reaction to the matches and, if we can twist the right arms, even a few highlights.  Enjoy the footy and we’ll see you then!

]]> http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2010/09/02/catch-them-if-you-can-3-5-sept-2010/feed/ 0 wfctagteam McLeish, Alex - finger snack Robinho raider fan the friendly skies chris mann eliot Toshack, John - Wales Tapesh Avigdor Goldberg MyPicture Kris Dwyer Fowler, Robbie - Perth Glory http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2010/09/02/over-a-pint-mikel-arteta-making-sense-of-the-rules-of-eligibility/ http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2010/09/02/over-a-pint-mikel-arteta-making-sense-of-the-rules-of-eligibility/#comments Thu, 02 Sep 2010 01:01:19 +0000 The WFC Staff http://www.worldfootballcolumns.com/?p=5315 Continue reading »]]> ..

Editor’s note:  Just as this article was being made ready for posting, Mikel Arteta’s ineligibility was announced.  However, WFC still believes the issues of player eligibility remain unresolved, even if Mikel Arteta’s case has been.  So, please read on and decide for yourself.

In South africa, England was lacking a creative spark...

Do you remember way back, in the springtime of England’s 2010 World Cup dreams, when anything seemed possible?  Brazil and Spain were within reach and the only real problem that Fabio Capello had was the lack of a proven goalkeeper.  Oh, to be young again.  Sadly, another generation of England fans have been forced to grow up too quickly, discovering that the footballing world is a cruel, hard place.

Now it’s autumn and the FA are trying to pick up the pieces of a crumbled dream.  Under pressure from fans and the media to not make the same mistakes and perform as is expected of an England team when the Euros arrive in 2012, new chairman Roger Burden, Sir Dave Richards, the Premier League overlord, and the rest of the board have had to consider suggestions from all quarters on how best to go about it.

The FA has made several decisions quite quickly, in laying plans for the reconstruction.  Should they let Capello go? (No, he stays)  What to do to resolve the poor pitch issues at Wembley? (Install a real and artificial hybrid blend)  What can be done to accelerate the development of young English players? (To begin, the implementation of the Homegrown Rule on 1 September)  The shape of the Euro squad has slowed them up, however.

In their first action since waking up from their pleasant dreams to the horrible realities of Rustenburg, Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and, at the last, Blomfontein, the Three Lions took to the pitch against Hungary, receiving an ambivalent welcome from those faithful who did decide to come.  Much like their greeting, the squad was a mix of the fallen heroes and new faces eager to make their mark.  Unfortunately, Phil Jagielka’s own goal didn’t do much for the hopes of the youngbloods, although their blushes were spared by a brace from captain Steven Gerrard.  The England team, despite the win, seem trapped in a dark place, casting about for some light.

...but would Arteta bowing to the Queen, rather than a king, truly make him an Englishman?

Last week, however, there came either a ray of hope or an oncoming train, dependent upon your worldly outlook.  Everton’s wonderfully talented midfielder Mikel Arteta, who has had the misfortune of being only the ninth or tenth best player at his position in his home country of Spain, suggested that he might be very pleased to play for England, where he would likely be considered in the top three, alongside Gerrard and Frank Lampard.

Amongst the many who raised their half full glasses and drained it to the health of the Toffee’s playmaker (and took up a petition for his canonisation), there were a few old gaffers, frowning at the barmaid’s tardiness in topping off their empty looking mugs, whilst muttering thatsomething just wasn’t right about this.  Unfortunately, WFC editor Martin Palazzotto falls into the latter category , while new writer Tapesh Patel is firmly in the camp of the former.  In the interests of world peace and the general entertainment of others, the pair have agreed to sit down together, sample some Tucher’s on draught and see if they can come to an understanding.

Tapesh: When we talk about Mikel Arteta, I think we should talk about the player himself, before approaching the whole nationality issue. The key point is: if he obtained dual nationality and became eligible for England, would he get into the squad? In my opinion, he most definitely would. In fact, I personally would put him into the starting eleven.

There's no question the Three Lions would welcome him, as well.

One of England’s current problems is a perceived lack of creativity in midfield. This is strange, because the main pairing, Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, are both fairly creative players. What we have seen over the years, though, is that both like to get forward when possible.

What England have lacked, then, is a foot-on-ball playmaker, with the ability to pass to a Gerrard or a Lampard.  Hence the outcry for the return of Paul Scholes (who, by the way, is too old). This lack of such a passer meant that Wayne Rooney tended to drop deep to make the play, which left the now departed Emile Heskey (yikes!) up front.

I believe Arteta is the solution. His ability to dictate play, combined with excellent technique and outstanding passing ability, cannot be matched at the moment by any English player. Tom Huddlestone or Jack Wilshere might become that player in the future, but they are not ready to be regulars yet.

Also, the guy takes a decent penalty!

...but are mercenaries what we want at the World Cup?

Martin: You’re not going to get any argument out of me on Arteta’s ability or where he would fit in with the England squad.  If he were from just about anywhere other than Spain (Brazil and Argentina spring to mind as exceptions), he might very well be a veteran of three World Cups by now.  But the plain, unvarnished truth is that he is a Spaniard.  As such, he should not be available to play for England.

Mikel Arteta is far from the first player to be considered for inclusion in a foreign squad.  There have been several before him and many more are likely to follow.  Some, like Kevin-Prince Boateng, Lukas Podolski and Giuseppe Rossi are doing it for the love of the nation they represent.  I applaud and welcome that.  On the other hand, there’s the onetime Chelsea midfielder Deco, a Brazilian, who just concluded his international career with Portugal and promptly returned home to play out the string with Fluminese.  As his tenure with the Iberians went on, it was rationalised that the two nations were, culturally speaking, close cousins.  That is true enough and if Deco had made his permanent home in Portugal, I would have been content with that line of reasoning.  Yet, the abruptness of his return to Brazil laid bare his true intent.  He was playing for himself, rather than for love of country.  We should never forget (Ashley Cole) that the latter is what the World Cup is about.

Tapesh: I definitely agree with you that this question is ultimately one of pride.  So, these questions really need to be taken on a player-by-player basis. We live in a world where many people have divided identities, especially in football. In fact, the case of Kevin-Prince Boateng is one of the best examples of this.  Infamously, he did not talk to his brother Jerome before facing him in the World Cup. That really goes to show that people from the same background can view their identities in completely different ways.

Unlike his countryman, Senna settled permanently in his adopted country.

A case very similar to that of Arteta, was Marcos Senna. The Brazilian began playing in his native country before moving abroad, to further his career. He went to La Liga, with Villareal, settling there, before gaining citizenship and playing for Spain.  One could not doubt Senna’s commitment to the cause; it was something integral to his role.  Starring in Euro 2008 as midfield enforcer, his displays led many to name him as one of the players of the tournament.

Coming back to Arteta, he seems a very loyal player, as well as a person of substance, having stated that he wouldn’t want to move to clubs like Arsenal or Manchester City in the hope of reaching the Spain team. He’s braved Scottish winters in Glasgow, having played for Rangers from 2002-04, and has learnt the intricacies of the Scouse accent. Given his background, I think he would be proud to step out for England, the country where his career has really blossomed.

Martin: I can appreciate that Arteta seems to be a more honourable candidate than Deco. It’s very loyal of him to publicly decline a possible move to another club, after Everton has treated him so well,  even though it might help him crack the Spanish lineup.  Still, by his own statement, his preferred choice would be Spain.  And there lies the rub.  Boateng’s first choice was Ghana, even though Germany, where he was both eligible and wanted, offered a better chance for glory.  That’s what I mean by love of country.

That he is a ‘person of substance,’ as you put it, and a great player certainly garners Arteta my sympathy and while these cases do have to be judged on individual merit, the criteria used to decide the matter must ultimately be whether or not the candidate has cultural ties, of some kind, to the nation he would represent.

Georgie may be the best of but not the only great to have never been to the World Cup.

Take George Best as an example.  The Northern Irishman was perhaps the greatest British player ever.  Yet, with his country being minnows, he never played in a World Cup.  For most of his adult life, he lived (and partied) in England and was a stand out for United.  What if he had pulled a Stephen Ireland, early in his career, and declined to represent his homeland, instead repatriating to England.  Think how that would have lessened his legacy within the game.  Sometimes, your greatness is also measured by what you weren’t able to accomplish.

Andy Carroll, for all his supposed immaturity, has passed this test by declining the invitation of Craig Levein and the Scots.  No, for me, Mikel Arteta must make do with the cards life has dealt him.

Tapesh: I think cultural ties are usually fixed at a young age, but can also be gained or transformed later on in life. The fact is that naturalised citizens will always face the question of when their identity shifts to that of the nation in which they live.

Different people, understandably, have different views on the matter but I think government is designed to represent the views of a nation. As such, I think that Arteta should be considered an Englishman since he now qualifies for dual-nationality by law. The country has a long history of successful assimilation of immigrants, which I think is also demonstrated within the domain of sport. For this reason, I think that most English people would welcome him playing for our national team.

If managers are eligible, why not players?

It’s also fair to argue that the England team lost part of its identity in 2000, when Sven-Goran Eriksson became the first foreign manager of England. This then set the precedent for Fabio Capello to manage the team, and while many opposed the very idea of a foreign manager, at first, no-one was complaining when England flawlessly gained qualification for the World Cup this summer. If there is one person who symbolises the team, it has to be the England manager, who takes a post frequently described around the world as ‘the toughest job in football’.

I was one of those that felt English patriotism took a blow with Eriksson’s appointment. The fact is, though, that the game is different nowadays – even at international level. Therefore, if Arteta wished to become part of the national setup, I see no reason for denying him what is rightfully his.

Martin: I’ve got no truck with foreign managers being involved in a national program; it helps develop the game, especially in the far corners of the football world.  Let them have at it, I say.  They can coach, advise and play the figurehead all they like, because when you get right down to it, championships are won on the pitch, by the players.  That simple fact puts them into two different categories.

As for Arteta, I’m not sure what you mean by rightfully his.  He’s been in England long enough to apply for a passport, yes, but hasn’t actually gotten, or even asked for one yet.  There is a process to go through, after all.  It’s not like he’s trying to buy a Premier League club.  If that were the case, then, naturally, you’d just hand it to him with no questions asked.

I take your point, though.  If he had an English passport, he’d have the right to play for England, given that he’s good enough, and who am I to deny him?  That is the letter of the law.  What I’m trying to champion, however, is its spirit.  In order to do that, I don’t believe FIFA can be as trusting, even judging on an individual basis, as you would have them be.   I don’t like to be redundant but the ‘alright, you seem like a nice guy’ policy hasn’t worked out too well for the likes of Liverpool and Pompey and won’t, if things continue as they are, for Manchester United.

...Greed is good.

In football, like any other big business...

That English fans would welcome him with open arms goes without saying, as well.  It’s human nature, after all, to take advantage in any way we can.  We got to the top of the food chain by adapting, being innovative and turning any opportunity to our advantage .  Winning at all costs in business and sport is just a product of evolution.  And that’s where you’re wrong about government.  It’s not there to give us what we want but to make sure we don’t kill each other trying to get it.  Allowing foreign players who can’t get a game in their own country to play for any country desperate enough to take them will eventually kill the World Cup.

Look at the America’s Cup of yachting.  It was going along nicely for the better part of a century until big money became involved.  Suddenly, rules began changing at an alarming pace, until you had the Swiss being crowned champions two times running.  The last time I checked an atlas, Switzerland was still a landlocked country.  If it had been bankers’ sons, raised on Lake Geneva crewing the Alinghi and its successor, I’d have no complaint.  Unfortunately, it was the best Kiwi and Aussie sailors that the Swiss Franc could buy.  So much for the battle of nations.

Is that what you want for the World Cup?

..

Of course, while Tapesh and Martin were busy having at it, FIFA weighed in and ruled Arteta ineligible due to a little known rule:

Article 18.1.a within the Fifa statutes outlines that any player who has represented their country in an official competition, at whatever level, would at that time need to have held a passport for the country they later wish to play for in order to be permitted to make the switch. –BBC report on Arteta’s eligibility to play for England

Arteta did play in an Under 16 competition for Spain and, of course, didn’t have a British passport at the time.  So that’s that.  Unless, of course, FIFA were to decide to change their r