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I can’t speak for other footy fans who were born in North America, but one of the reasons that I have embraced the game and now virtually ignore sports on which I was raised (hockey, baseball and grid-iron football), is that all the leagues in America have gone corporate.

Don’t misunderstand.  You won’t find me sitting on a commune, growing my own wheat-grass, curdling my own tofu, and taking time off to attend sit-ins against the UN or the World Bank.  I’ve nothing against money.  Hell, I’ve crewed on yachts for a healthy portion of my life.

If a baseball player has the opportunity to sign a ten year, $250 million contract, more power to him.  If NFL owners can cajole multibillion dollar television contracts out of American networks, let them sit back and light up a cigar.  No, what irks me is that American sport has become so image-conscious in chasing the almighty dollar that they’ve censored into extinction the characters who made their world so captivating.

You’ll never see another Casey Stengel or Yogi Berra, or have the opportunity to hear but not understand exactly what either is trying to say.  In hockey, Don Cherry, his garishly coloured suits and homespun conservatism are the last of a dying breed.  In the NFL, Rex Ryan may have carried on from his father Buddy and the immortal John Madden, but the five digit fines that the NFL is handing out to anyone who utters anything other than the company line have silenced him, as well.

If you’re an American athlete, coach or team executive, and want to keep your weekly wage packet, you’ll check your personality at the door and utter banal clichés whenever a microphone is thrust in your face.  Corporate speak has won.

If you reside outside the ‘greatest democracy in the world’, however, free speech is still an option.  That is why Giovanni Trappatoni can talk about cats being in sacks, Harry Redknapp can threaten to give the media the cold shoulder if he’s fined for calling a bad call a bad call, and Jose Mourinho, bless his heart, can call Arsene Wenger a voyeur.   And don’t get me started on that Frenchman’s penchant for speaking his mind.

The American sports fan loves to make an ass of himself, braying endlessly about how boring soccer is, but the fact is, even if that were the case (I said if, you plonker) the goings on off the pitch make the beautiful game more entertaining than anything Uncle Sam can dish out, at least on the order of ten!

And while il Trap’s comparison of Estonia to a bedraggled tabby almost bagged and ready to be dropped in the river was worth a chuckle for those of us not indoctrinated into PETA, it wasn’t the most eye-popping statement made this week.  Nor, given Ireland’s massive four-goal advantage, is Estonia likely to leap out of their sack and give him cause for regret.

On the other hand, Santos president Luis Alvaro Ribeiro may find that his latest outburst may come back to bite him where it hurts most.  Ribeiro has fought a running battle in the press with European clubs eager to obtain the services of his sensational teenaged striker Neymar.  For the most part his defiance has been admirable, as he has warred against the disrespect some European outfits exhibit towards South American clubs, by dealing directly with the player’s agent rather than the club.

Most recently, it was rumoured that Real Madrid had negotiated a mega-deal to sign Neymar in the January window.  Instead, Santos penned the youngster to an extension which ties him to the Paulista squad until the 2014 World Cup.   Unfortunately, Ribeiro then pulled a Derek Llambias, insulting the Meringue negotiators and boasting about his hold on his starlet.

“The behaviour of Real Madrid’s board of directors was lamentable and arrogant. Their attitude resembled a colonial mentality. I convinced Neymar to stay by telling him that Jose Mourinho would have forced him to cut his hair. He can do with his hair whatever he likes here.”

Political rhetoric and historical grudges aside, the last time I checked, Jose Mourinho wasn’t acting like a drill sergeant.  Ribeiro’s jibe was obviously in reference to Emmanuel Adebayor, who had his locks shorn voluntarily, as he was desperate to get his career back on track with a top side.  To suggest otherwise fails to take into account Didier Drogba, who kept his dreads upon his Stamford Bridge arrival, and continued to grow them throughout the Special One’s tenure.

What’s more, if the Castilians are willing to invest €40-50 million on the Brazilian wunderkind, would they allow the deal to fall through because Neymar has a phobia regarding barbers?   If you’re going to heap praise upon yourself, that’s fine, but the braggadocio has to maintain at least a shred of credibility.  The worst aspect of Ribeiro’s rant, however, is the potential effect it could have on the player at the center of the matter.

There is no question that the boy has both a healthy ego and prickly temper.  He has argued with his coach in the midst of a match, seen that coach sacked, and accused the entire Scottish citizenry of racism because of one errant banana peel (thrown as a prank, it turns out, by a German student on holiday).  Further, he has topped his reed-thin frame with a mohawk of such bushy proportions that if he stood on his head in a closet, the team janitor might mistakenly begin sweeping the clubhouse floor with him.  When it comes to Neymar’s coif, ostentatious is understatement.

Yet for all that, he has mirrored one of his heroes, Pele, by putting off his publicly proclaimed desire to play abroad (preferably with Real Madrid), in the interests of promoting the Brazilian game ahead of that country’s upcoming turn at hosting the World Cup.  That could, in turn, attract other Brazilian stars, such as Robinho, to return home.  Given the improvements in the Brazilian economy, standard of living and with the upcoming tournament, quality of stadia, one might eventually see a few European players heading over to the land of Carnaval.  And I’m not just talking about unwanted Manchester City stars, either.  Yet, those dreams hinge precariously on Neymar’s willingness to stay.

If such was your decision to make, how would you feel if your team president informed the world that you were so foolish as to believe him when he told you that possibly the world’s greatest coach at possibly the world’s greatest team would not sign you, possibly the world’s next great player, if you refused to cut your hair?  As lamentable, arrogant and colonial as Real’s attitude might have been in pursuing their target, Ribeiro has easily trumped them, and his charge can’t be so stupid as to have missed the slight.

Given the dismissal of Dorival Junior, it’s fairly certain that Neymar already knows that he can do as he likes at Santos.  He can grow his mohawk.  He can colour it pink and green.  In fact, he can probably insist that the club change its colours to match whichever tint he has dyed it this week.  More importantly, he can stay as long as he likes, or, contract or no, leave at a moment’s notice.  And, if he chooses to exercise the latter option, he can name his price and any conditions he likes, wherever he goes.

So, as much as I love to hear footy personalities speak without forethought, this might have been one time that Luis Alvaro Ribeiro might have been better advised to shut it.

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Another international break is upon us.  They seem to be coming fast and furious, this autumn.  Then again, so does Newcastle.  Inexplicably, the Magpies are in third place, ahead of familiar names and expected Champions League contenders Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and Tottenham.  It’s not a distant third, either; the Geordies are just a single point behind Manchester United.  In the armed forces and the constabulary, on the high seas and anywhere else where radio is still a common form of communication, the call sign for such unexplained phenomenon is Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

What makes the club’s early success so surprising is that their chairman has developed a reputation for doing everything that a team owner can to guarantee that his club sinks into mediocrity.  Discount sportswear magnate Mike Ashley has applied the rules of business to football, much to the derision of all of us who know that running a club is much like owning a yacht; in that they’re both bottomless money pits.  If spending large amounts of cash with no other return than a few moments of pleasure causes you concern, then football isn’t for you.

Chairmen such as Jack Walker and Peter Ridsdale have experienced both the adoration and hatred of their supporters, with the love flowing so long as they lavished money on their respective clubs.  When the well ran dry, however, and they had to tighten their belts, they quickly became pariahs.  Yet, more reviled still are those owners at big clubs who seemingly sit on their money, when it could be used to improve the club.  Supporters would like nothing more than to see the back of such skinflints.

The Red Knights at Manchester United have had little success in dislodging the Glazers because Sir Alex Ferguson has proven adept at developing young talent and keeping the Red Devils in the top two for so long that it seems as though they have never been any lower in the table.  The Kop, however, mounted an impressive guerrilla campaign to force the club’s board to sell against the wishes of the overextended Americans Tom Hicks and George Gillett.

The Toon Army’s war against Ashley has not been nearly so effective, as evident in the fact that while both the Glazers and Hicks & Gillett became very reluctant to show themselves at matches, Ashley proudly dons the Newcastle kit and sits amidst the fans at every game at hallowed St James Park.

Sit there he does, though, rooting on his Magpies, despite the massive outcry from those around him when he attempted to rename the club’s historic ground for marketing purposes; despite the overwhelming condemnation when he failed to hire Alan Shearer as manager, even though everyone else believed that the former captain was the man to bring them immediately back to the top flight; despite the unanimous disgust at his sacking of Chris Hughton after the oft called upon caretaker boss had done the job in Shearer’s stead and more, knocking Chelsea out of the Carling Cup at Stamford Bridge, defeating Arsenal in the league and guiding the Magpies into the top five of the Premier League in the opening months of their return campaign; despite the outrage when he hired personal friend Alan Pardew as Hughton’s replacement shortly after Pardew had been sacked for coaching Southampton to the bottom of the League One table; despite selling hometown hero and Shearer heir apparent Andy Carroll to Liverpool for £35 million and reinvesting little, if any of the profit; despite allowing team morale to sink to the point where captain Kevin Nolan forced a sale to newly relegated West Ham, now managed by one-time Toon boss Sam Allardyce; despite those two champions of free speech and public protest via Twitter, Jose Enrique and Joey Barton, following Nolan out the door, the former sold, again to Liverpool, and the latter permitted to move to QPR on a free transfer; and despite replacing the three departed Britons and single Spaniard with so many French-speaking players that there was a run on Rosetta Stone software in local bookshops.

That’s a lot of spite for any man to endure, yet Ashley has done so.  What’s worse, the combination of Toon’s recent success and the unimpressive performances of those he has discarded in the name of efficiency, workplace harmony and cost consciousness has largely, with the exception of renaming the ground, proven him to be right; one man against tens of thousands, a lone voice in the wilderness.  When you’re talking about a man who sells jogging suits to overweight couch potatoes at a discount, that’s frankly embarrassing.

Yet, here we are.  Newcastle is one of only two unbeaten teams in the Premier League; the other, ironically, being obscenely wealthy Manchester City.  Toon may not have played anyone of consequence other than the then-floundering Gunners, but, unlike the Liverpool side partially staffed by former Magpies Carroll and Enrique, they have taken all the points which one would expect of them.

A former fringe player under Hughton, striker Leon Best, and new arrival Demba Ba, who passed Kevin Nolan on his way out the Upton Park door, have made people forget Carroll, whereas the Geordie giant’s meager haul of goals in a red strip have left the Kop all too mindful of his exorbitant price tag.

Pardew has his squad fully confident and playing amazingly consistent football, while Hughton, again in charge of a freshly demoted side with no money to spend, is finding it difficult to weave his magic a second time.  Birmingham is four points out of the playoff positions and one place away from the bottom half of the table.  Hardly the dominance the former Irish international enjoyed with Newcastle.

The outspoken Barton is leading QPR, who are holding up well in the middle of the Premier League standings, although he personally has felt a backlash after putting the knife to Arsene Wenger and Wolves enforcer Karl Henry in one hundred and forty characters or less.

Most notable of all is the general lack of respect from the public for Alan Shearer as a broadcaster, largely down to his casual approach to research in preparedness for the World Cup in South Africa.  After all, who would want a manager who saw no need to do his homework?

As ludicrous as it seems, all the evidence leads one to the conclusion that a football club can be run both competitively and profitably at the same time.  Of course, after the international break, Newcastle face a run of games against their fellow clubs in the Champions League frame.  The daunting trifecta of matches begins with a tour of Manchester; Saturday the nineteenth at a stadium which is itself a cautionary tale in naming rights, the Etihad Campus, against City, and seven days later at Old Trafford against United.  Finally, Chelsea journey Tyneside on third December, hoping to prey on a bruised, battered and demoralised Toon.

If that is in fact what the Blues discover when they arrive, and they have their way, then the lack of points from the three fixtures may affect the Magpies through the remainder of the season.  On the other hand, if Pardew’s squad can come away with three solid performances and a result or two, there is no telling how high the club will go or whether its supporters will actually come to love their universally despised owner.  After all, when has that ever been the case in Geordieland?

Sir Alex Ferguson. Just the mention of his name conjures up so many memories for any Manchester United fan. There are all the last-gasp winners, the iconic signings, the phenomenal games and the trophies, oh the trophies.

Never before has a manager made a club their own quite like Sir Alex, except maybe the late, great Bill Shankly at Liverpool. Apart from these two majestic Scotsmen, no other manager in history has quite managed to embody the spirit of a club. There may be the argument that Arsene Wenger has managed it at Arsenal but the teams he has built have been so contrasting that you would struggle to compare him to either Fergie or Shankly.

The fact is this: Manchester United is Alex Ferguson and Alex Ferguson is Manchester United.

The  sight of him striding up and down the touchline, chewing on his gum with the intensity and purpose of a mastiff gnawing a bone, and the accounts of his terrible clubhouse tirades and alternative use for cosmetological equipment have made him a living legend.

It almost didn’t happen.  When he came from Aberdeen, replacing Ron Atkinson in mid-campaign, the club finished eleventh.  He led them to second place the following year but then they dropped back to eleventh.  Only the first of a long string of memorable victories, an FA Cup replay defeat of Crystal Palace saved him from the axe.  It wouldn’t be long before the suggestion of sacking Fergie would be greeted with laughter.  United’s dominance in the Premier League years soon made him untouchable.

His fighting spirit is United to a tee. Not once have I ever seen a Manchester United team roll over in my seventeen years of support. Not once. There may have been a couple of shambolic performances down the years, the 6-1 mauling at the hands of City being the latest, but there is also the 0-0 draw against Burton Albion and the 6-3 loss to Southampton. Yet, even when you look back at the embarrassments, you have to say, United always played the United way.

Even better for each of those few humiliations, there have been any number of defining triumphs. Look at the recent 8-2 battering of Arsenal, the recent 6-1 win over those same Gunners, that wonderful penalty shootout win over Chelsea in the Champions League, the 5-3 comeback against Spurs, the 2-1 win in the Nou Camp over Bayern Munich and the 7-1 humbling of Roma. There have been so many that I could write an article just on the subject of United fans’ best memories and I think I’d take a 6-1 defeat if it meant 10 more nights like the one in 1999, or 2008.

That is the testament to Sir Alex Ferguson’s management; every loss is answered by a run of victories and every departing star makes way for a brilliant replacement.

That is, again, a testament to his management. Look at David Beckham. A loyal servant to United since he joined as a schoolboy but when he left for Real Madrid in 2003, United pocketed £25 million. As a replacement they signed a rather precocious teenager for £12 million. That teenager was Cristiano Ronaldo, and what a player he is now. When the Portuguese followed Golden Balls to the Spanish capital, for a tidy £80 million this time, Wayne Rooney stepped to the fore.  When Paul Scholes retired, the manager remained calm while all around him panicked, calling for a major signing, be it Wesley Sneijder, Samir Nasri or Luka Modric.  Instead, Sir Alex gave young Tom Cleverley an opportunity.  Before his unfortunate injury, Cleverley stepped seamlessly into the creative midfield role and led United to that Community Shield fight back over City.  For me, that is Fergie’s greatest attribute – the ability to spot a diamond in the rough.

Chicharito is his most recent, signed for £7 million from Chivas and already an established name on the United team sheet. And there have been so many more on down the years. Nemanja Vidic was plucked from obscurity, so was Patrice Evra along with Peter Schmeichel and Denis Irwin. Of course, that hasn’t stopped the gaffer from making a few mistakes. Kleberson and Eric Djemba-Djemba spring to mind, along with Massimo Taibi and Bebe (who Fergie admitted to signing sight unseen) but the old prospector has yielded far more nuggets than dirt in his time.

In fact, so many great players have passed through Old Trafford in my lifetime, that it’s difficult to name the greatest match the club has played under Ferguson.  After thinking on it, my choice may surprise a number of people, as it is not a final, nor a deciding game in the title race. Instead it’s the 1-0 win over Barcelona at Old Trafford in 2008.

Part of the magic of that victory was that it was one of those rare matches where United were not expected to win.  They’d held Barcelona at the Nou Camp with Ronaldo missing a penalty, but the Catalans had looked stronger, more decisive. The rematch at Old Trafford will forever be etched into my memory and that of thousands of other United fans.

It wasn’t just that we won, it was the way it was accomplished. A screamer from Paul Scholes in the early stages was coupled with the most outstanding defensive display I have ever seen. Barcelona threw everything at United — absolutely everything — and the defence was magnificent. Owen Hargreaves played at right back, with Wes Brown and Rio Ferdinand the centre back partnership and it was Patrice Evra at left back. Looking at that defensive line up, you’d struggle to believe they kept a clean sheet against the likes of Messi and Henry but they did it through sheer force of will. They believed they were going to get through the game unscathed, they believed they were going to make it into the Champions League final.

And who is that down to?  Sir Alex Ferguson of course. Very few manager can claim to have tactically outclassed a Barcelona side in the past ten years. Sir Alex did, although Barça would exact their revenge.

Not many managers can claim to have won two European Cups, either. Or to have lost another two.  Not many managers can claim to have built not one, not two, but nigh on five title winning sides, to have averaged at least one major trophy per year over a quarter of a century or to have defied the BBC and the FA for seven years and remain employed.  Sir Alex Ferguson can.

Whenever a new power has risen to threaten United’s supremacy, be it Gerrard Houllier and Rafa Benitez’s Liverpool sides, Arsenal’s Invincibles or Roman Abramovich’s Chelsea, Fergie has always bounced back, defying belief, with a new stronger squad.  For those who think city’s ascendance will finally put him on the sidelines, they’d best think again.  They’ve only given him a reason to stick around.  Sir Alex loves nothing more than a challenge.

And that is why it’s going to be so hard to replace him. Names like Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola always pop up when the discussion is revisited.  While either of that duo would be wonderful, when the Scot finally abdicates his throne, United fans had best be prepared for a difficult time.  There is simply no one on the planet who can walk in and immediately top twenty-five years of glory.

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“I do believe that you can access truths about the game by speaking to Arsène Wenger, if he feels like telling you. I don’t believe you can access them by speaking to Wayne Rooney.”

So says Simon Kuper, in the introduction to his new book, entitled – deep breath – ‘Soccer Men: Profiles of the Rogues, Geniuses, and Neurotics Who Dominate the World’s Most Popular Sport’, which features profiles and interviews with a variety of the game’s greats, both past and present.

The above quote is the key theme of the book; players have very little, if anything, of interest to say.

“Twitter demonstrates the problem,” Kuper told me in an interview to promote the book.

“Players are constantly getting into trouble for things they have tweeted. In many countries, players have less freedom of speech now than they would have had in the Soviet Union. Players learn over time to say nothing.”

Indeed, there’s an amusing line in the profile of Freddy Adu (the only American player featured in the book) where Kuper states that the fourteen year old ‘spoke with more articulacy than I have heard from any adult England player’. But why are the English superstars so tongue-tied?

“I think it’s partly because they get teased by their peers if they sound too clever-clever or too middle-class. Their goal when speaking in interviews is to say nothing, because any interesting thoughts are liable to get them into trouble, and so inarticulacy becomes a sort of self-defence”.

The book is inspired by ‘The Football Man’, a 1968 book by Arthur Hopcraft, which Kuper admitted is “a little bit dated now”. But he felt the idea behind that book is still valid: “Portraying a series of individuals and thinking about what they have in common”.

It’s interesting then to see that the people in this book don’t actually have all that much in common. Besides being good at football and very career orientated (“In the end almost everyone in football is out for themselves” Kuper told me), there isn’t all that much that binds them based on the information that is presented here.

A chapter on a boasting Edgar Davids is followed directly by one about a shy Rivaldo; the likes of Jari Litamen and Thierry Henry are shown as being football obsessed, whilst it barely seems to register with Johnny Rep and Bernd Holzenbein (in a joint chapter) that they played in the World Cup final at all. The World Cup final!

The literary pretensions of the players themselves are entertainingly mocked in a chapter that looks at the autobiographies of England’s ‘golden generation’. Kuper confessed that no-one had ever asked him to write one, and I suspect few players will be asking him in future, if they have read this section of the book at least.

“I’d vaguely thought I’d be interested in doing it for Dennis Bergkamp but that won’t ever happen” Kuper revealed, and I wonder if, as the author of Soccernomics, he feels a connection with the Dutch legend who (as the book reveals) was teased as the dressing-room geek at Inter Milan.

Aside from looking at the players themselves, the book also covers the football cultures of different countries, which proves interesting. For example, we learn about the Argentine concept of the pibe, and that Dutch children often follow players rather than teams.

“If you grew up in Holland, you were taught an extreme interest in the actual game itself and in its tactics. So you learned to appreciate, for example, Bergkamp or Van Basten no matter which club they played for”. As an English fan of football, with all of its tribal rivalries and hostilities, this certainly seems an alien concept to me.

As the profiles date from 1997 to the present, it’s interesting to see which predictions Kuper made in his original articles came to fruition and which did not. I won’t spoil it here, but the author is honest enough to admit when he was off the mark.

It’s not just players in Kuper’s sights though; there are profiles of managers and ‘some other soccer men’ (as Part III of the book is titled).

Amongst these, there’s an interesting comparison between Glenn Hoddle and Tony Blair, from when one was England manager and the other the Prime Minister (the two most difficult jobs in the UK according to most of the natives). But who is soccer’s Barack Obama?

“Lilian Thuram is a very politically engaged man. They have something of the same aura: tall cerebral men who exude a great calm”. There you have it; look out Nicolas Sarkozy!

There’s also a fascinating portrait of Billy Beane, star of the book (and now film) ‘Moneyball’ who, it is revealed, is a soccer obsessive. With his analytical mind, I wonder if Beane could cross the divide and become a success in soccer. Kuper thinks so:

“I suspect it’s going to happen one day, that he’s going to make the leap to soccer, just because he has such passion for it and spends so much time thinking about it. Not soon, but one day”.

Whilst I very much enjoyed the book, as a fan who struggles to get tickets to see his own favoured team play, it does sometimes seem that Kuper is complaining a little too much about a life spent trying to interview players whilst going to every game imaginable, including the World Cup final itself in 2010. Want to swap places Simon?

But that’s a minor gripe. The book is very readable, obviously well written and researched, and you learn some incredible and occasionally startling facts about the stars of the game.

If nothing else, the book is worth reading to find out which World Cup winner showed his testicles to Luis Chilavert. You’re wondering now, aren’t you?

Soccer Men is available online at Amazon.com, BN.com (Barnes & Noble Booksellers) and in a book store near you.

Read more of Andrew Beasley @ basstunedtored.com

Football is full of clubs who spend whether or not they have the money, and whether or not they truly have a need.  As well, there are endless sides who resign themselves to mediocrity because they respect the bottom line too much to dare dream.

Yet there are also a rare few, who spend wisely, not wastefully, while competing for championships, a few who care only to win enough to maintain their profit margin.  There are some who dare to dream beyond their station and one or two, who when there is no other alternative are forced to surrender their dearly held principles to practicality.

With that in mind, these five rationales are not so much about keeping the purse strings tightly drawn and knotted, as they are about knowing when money should be spent and when it should not.

1.  Because the early bird gets the worm! — In La Liga, the tables have completely turned.  Not only have Barcelona become the dominant side year in and year out, with Real Madrid chasing, not only do they lord their superiority — both competitively and morally — over Los Blancos in the media, but the Blaugrana are suddenly the side spending with no concern for tomorrow, while Florentino Perez has apparently looked up the definition of fiscal responsibility.

Last winter, when there was incredible pressure on Jose Mourinho’s side, in the wake of a 5-0 humiliation at the hands of Barça, and Gonzalo Higuain was out for an extended period, with a back injury, the chairman refused to invest in another centre forward for the club.  Mourinho’s only option, at the time, was the struggling young Frenchman, Karim Benzema.  As the month wore on, and Benzema continued to struggle, Mourinho even tried the recently rehabilitated Kaka out of position, to find some scoring punch.  Finally, as the window was about to close, Perez relented somewhat, allowing Emmanuel Adebayor to be brought in on loan.

Ade didn’t exactly light up the Santiago Bernabeu, but he did create some space for Benzema, who began to rediscover his confidence.  Then, towards the end of the season, Higuain became available sooner than expected, helping Real to push Barcelona to the limits of their skill, strength and temper in a four game series taking place over less than two weeks.  Although Barça proved themselves to still be the better team, the gap between the two was narrowed to the point of being a close thing, especially with Madrid taking the Copa del Rey, as part of that series.

When the season did conclude, Adebayor unwillingly went back to Man City, publicly hoping that he would be invited back.  While Mourinho had kind words for the Togolese’s contributions, he indicated that the club had other targets in mind, and that Adebayor might not fit into their budget.  Taking the irony a step further, unlike Sandro Rosell discussing Cesc Fabregas, the Portuguese actually meant it.

Real went out and signed Fabio Coentrao for €30 million, which admittedly counts as spending big, then went out and recruited Bayern Munich midfielder Hamit Altintop (on a free), fellow Bundesliga midfielder Nuri Sahin and French defender Raphael Varane for €10 million each, and forward Jose Maria Callejon for €5 million.

Again, there’s no getting around the fact that the €55 million total is a large amount and, in fact, matches Barcelona’s summer spending.  So, why do I think Los Meringues were being economical whereas their rivals were wasteful?

First, Barcelona spent their money on just two players, compared to five for Madrid.

Second, it’s very difficult to argue that Cesc Fabregas and Alexis Sánchez significantly improve the young, two-time Champions League winning Blaugrana squad, as there just isn’t that much room for improvement.  At best, they deepen the roster at a very high cost.  Conversely, Real had much more room for improvement.  Coentrao adds a new dimension in attack from left back, Sahin should complement Mesut Özil, Varane will eventually step into the thirty-three year old boots of Ricardo Carvalho and Callejon is a much cheaper option, coming off the bench, than Adebayor.  In short, Madrid needed to act, Barcelona did not.

Third, Los Blancos scouted well, found bargains (except for Coentrao) and concluded their business early to avoid the frantic last minute rush.  Most notably, on the inside track to sign Brazilian sensation Neymar, who had publicly stated his desire to come to Madrid, they resisted the urge to unnecessarily spend the €45 million required to pry him loose from Santos.

Whereas, Mourinho’s squad was imbalanced in his first season, it is now well-rounded and better prepared for the inevitable injuries that occur over a thirty-eight game campaign.  There may be one upset waiting in the weeds for Real — there usually is for every top club — but there should not be the three or four they endured in 2010-11.

2.  Because attorneys are expensive, especially for Prime Ministers caught red-handed with underaged prostitutes! – The buzz is that AC Milan were very quiet in this summer’s window, and, with Silvio Berlusconi distracted by the small matter of attempting to stay in power and out of jail, that would be understandable.  However, if you check the records, Milan were actually quite busy during the silly season.  The Rossoneri brought in seven new players over that time and spent €44.5 million.

What makes them a frugal side is that €31 million of that was taken up by payments to Barcelona and Genoa, to make the pre-existing deals for Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Kevin-Prince Boateng permanent.  In other words, the seven others, who include Marseille full back Taye Taiwo and Liverpool midfielder Alberto Aquilani, averaged out to less than €2 million apiece.  Like Ibra and Boateng, Aquilani and Taiwo were brought in on loan, with an eye to making the deals permanent.

Having played against the Liverpool contractee twice last season, when he was on loan at Juventus, Milan pretty much know what they’re getting with Aquilani.  He gives them a younger and more agile creative option in central midfield, replacing Andrea Pirlo, who, ironically, was snatched up by the Bianconeri. If everything works out, the club will be hoping to extract a better deal from Liverpool than the one that Juve refused to honour.

Unlike Aquilani, who was unable to find a place at Liverpool and undervalued by Juventus, Taiwo will be missed by Marseilles.  The left back is very dangerous from long range and set pieces, while also being a powerful force defensively.  In fact, he scored the game winning goal in last year’s Coupe de la Ligue.  Unfortunately, he then accepted a microphone and joined supporters in a profane chant aimed at hated rivals PSG.  In leftist France, you cannot be rude to other Frenchmen — tourists are another story — and expect a mere slap on the wrist.  Thus, the Nigerian finds himself bundled off to the Serie A champions, who are intent upon making some noise in this year’s Champions League.

Sorry, what was that I said about a slap on the wrist?

3.  Because the real champion is the one with the most money in the bank when everyone goes tits up! – Okay, I’m actually going to write about a side that spent a ridiculously low amount of money for a Premier League side with a 50,000 seat stadium, a massive following and money to burn.  This club has won a recent championship, but has since sold off its four best players for £47 million and spent less than £15 million to replace them.   That’s a tidy profit of £32 million quid for the owner but a bucketful of shattered dreams for the supporters.

Worse, Newcastle gave Joey Barton away for free, just so that Mike Ashley’s right hand man, Derek Llambias wouldn’t have to look silly answering questions about tweets any more.

On a side note — given that Liverpool dealt with Ryan Babel in similar fashion, Twitter is obviously a very powerful force, bringing Premier League executives to their knees.

At any rate, Andy Carroll and Jose Enrique are Merseyside, Kevin Nolan is at the mercy of Sam Allardyce, the Davids Gold and Sullivan and Karren Brady, and Barton and his Depression era haircut are at QPR.  As well, Championship winning coach  Chris Hughton — more money saved and profit realised via his sacking — is at Birmingham.

Thus, instead of competing for a place in the Europa league, UEFA’s secondary club competition, the roster is stuffed with secondary European players.  Meanwhile, the chairman’s bank account is stuffed with pound notes.  Ladies and gentleman, I give you Mike Ashley.

4.  Because smoke and mirrors actually work! – There is one club attempting to mind the bottom line and reach the top, simultaneously.  Bolton Wanderers, don’t have the resources that near neighbours Liverpool and Manchesters United and City have, but neither are they saddled with inept or near bankrupt ownership, as Blackburn and Everton, respectively, are.

Having brought back one-time player Owen Coyle to work his coaching magic with a young squad, the side plays an exciting brand of football and is a threat to any team, on any afternoon in the Premiership.  Coyle has a top flight keeper in Jussi Jaaskelainen; a loyal England international anchoring the defense, in Gary Cahill; a steady midfielder in Martin Petrov and a spectacular one in Stuart Holden; and a reliable and timeless striker in thirty-four year old captain Kevin Davies.

It’s a solid base, but in every transfer window, Coyle applies the smoke and mirrors.  Last winter, Daniel Sturridge, on loan from Chelsea, added some punch to the lineup.  This summer, Nigel Reo-Coker came over from Aston Villa on a free transfer, as did Darren Pratley from Swansea; Tuncay Sanli arrived on loan from Wolfsburg, and defender Tyrone Mears was actually purchased for €1.7 million from Burnley.  Then as the window was closing, Coyle landed defender Dedryck Boyata on loan from Manchester City, midfielder/forward Gael Kakuta from Chelsea on similar terms, and, taking a comparatively huge risk, spent €4.5 million on unwanted Liverpool striker David Ngog.

The total bill?  A measly €7.9 million.  That’s Roman Abramovich’s Tuesday luncheon check.  Yet, somehow, Coyle will make it work, which only goes to show that a brilliant coach is worth far more than any player.

5.  Because my name is Arsene Wenger!  The Frenchman is a strange case.  After clinging desperately to Cesc Fabregas for six trophy-less seasons, the Gunners boss finally let him go for €29 million and then was immediately forced to sell unsettled Samir Nasri to City for a further €27.5 million.  Yet to be discovered tribesmen in the rainforests of Papua New Guinea are still talking about the subsequent 8-2 dismantling which Arsenal underwent at Old Trafford.  So, the €33.7 million that Wenger spent in the final twenty-four hours of the window can be put down to self-preservation.

Actually, it looks to be a pretty good job of it, as well.  The additions of Per Mertesacker, Andres Santos, Mikel Arteta and even Yossi Benayoun should deliver an effective shock to a squad which was essentially on life support last weekend.  Further, Park Chu-Young, coming from Monaco, promises be a more positive force in the clubhouse and off the bench than Nicklas “I’m Never Going Back To Arsenal” Bendtner, loaned to Sunderland, had become.

Arteta, especially, is an exciting prospect.  He will gladly assume the leadership role that Samir Nasri apparently wasn’t prepared to accept, and should gain more widespread plaudits at the Emirates for his work than he was garnering at Goodison Park.  Santos can play either the left wing or at full back, and may very well replace either the injured Kieran Gibbs or inconsistent Andrei Arshavin.  Mertesacker will be a calming influence in front of the Arsenal goal.

Fans have been calling for some experience in the line-up to bring the youngsters along.  These may not be the high-profile names that supporters had in mind, but they are astute signings who will make a difference once the team settles and the likes of Jack Wilshere and Thomas Vermaelen return.  In that respect, the international break couldn’t have come along at a better time.  Also, when you consider that the revenue generated from the sales of Cesc and Nasri mean it was all done on a net expenditure of less than €5 million, then Wenger didn’t actually stray too far, however it may seem to him, from the principles which he holds so dear.

And that is the thing about spending or not.  You must be both responsible and willing to invest to succeed.  Jose Mourinho and Silvio Berlusconi are, Mike Ashley isn’t, Owen Coyle wishes he could and Arsene Wenger, stubborn as he is, may have finally come around, even if he was forced by circumstances.

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Manchester United showed Arsene Wenger the importance of investment on the weekend, as the Red Devils ran riot at Old Trafford. The 8-2 scoreline didn’t flatter United, but, as Sir Alex Ferguson noted, Arsenal were missing seven or eight first team players.

However, the £50 million spent by Sir Alex in this transfer window seems like money well spent, as David De Gea, Phil Jones and Ashley Young all played major parts in the rout.  Given that the Gunners sold Samir Nasri for £27.5 million and Cesc Fabregas for £29 million, the £28 million they laid out for Joel Campbell, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Carl Jenkinson and Gervinho seems both insignificant and largely wasted.  To be fair, Gervinho is injured and Campbell is a long term project, but Jenkinson will want to forget his first appearance at old Trafford and the match was well and truly lost when Oxlade-Chamberlain was introduced on the hour.

Of the United investments, all stood out on the day.

De Gea, for one, was largely outstanding in goal, saving a penalty that may have altered the tone of the match.  Still, there is work to be done, as he was at fault for Arsenal’s first, the ball slipping through his legs from Theo Walcott’s shot.   Not that there isn’t every reason to believe the young Spaniard won’t improve.  Showing spirit, he further redeemed himself in the second half, with a string of solid stops.

Jones looked at ease in defence, marshalling Robin Van Persie and Andrey Arshavin for most of the game. Certainly, if he hadn’t ended up in the back of the net, himself, in the 74th minute, Arsenal would not have scored a second time. It was his own momentum which carried him into the goal, and Fergie will tell you that mistakes born of hustling are preferable to those made by merely standing and watching.

Ashley Young?  Well, he was simply dazzling. Admittedly, he was given far too much space for most of the game, and was marked, for a portion of the game at least, by a man who was playing non-league football not so long ago.   That doesn’t detract from the outstanding nature of his goals, though.  The first looked unbeatable, a curling long range effort into the top corner.  Yet, he bettered it with his second,  striking the top corner once again, from an acute angle inside the box.  If it hadn’t been for Wayne Rooney’s hat trick, Young would surely have been the man of the match.

It would be easy to ramble on and on about United’s dominance and how it proves that they should be favourites for the title from now on — sit down, Mr Mancini — but the depth of Arsenal’s woes is actually far more interesting than the heights of United’s success in one early season match.

The Gunners were depleted beyond belief for such a strong side; fifteen years on the trot in the Champions League.  With no Cesc Fabregas, no Samir Nasri and no Jack Wilshere, not to mention five other key role players, the team that Arsene Wenger cobbled together seemed overawed by the occasion before a ball was even kicked. Teams lose 8-2 games because they lack heart, and for Arsenal this was a physical problem rather than a psychological one.  The only real experience in the team came in goal and in attack, with Wojciech Szczesny, Theo Walcott, Andrey Arshavin and Robin Van Persie the sides only regular first-teamers in the starting eleven.  With no recognizable faces in midfield support and defence, the heart was literally cut out of the squad. The raw recruits filling the ranks were far too inexperienced to be taking the field against a full strength Manchester United.

Carl Jenkinson was a prime example of this; unfairly tasked with keeping Ashley Young quiet on the left flank. Now, I’m sure many of you will have seen Young tear world class full backs to shreds, and he needed no invitation to do the same to Jenkinson. The young full back was unlucky, really.  He has been thrown in at the deep end following his £1 million transfer from Charlton Athletic.  When he signed, he certainly wouldn’t have expected to be in the starting line up at Old Trafford, in the first month of the season.  Still, there he was, and understandably unprepared, he struggled from the off.

The combination of pace and power that Patrice Evra and Young can provide is frightening at times; poor Jenkinson was well out of his depth. That showed when he picked up an early booking for clattering into Young. He managed to stay out of trouble for a good hour afterwards, but, at a point when Arsenal were 6-2 down, he tripped over Javier Hernandez, earning himself a second yellow.

Given the opposition, his all too recent ascent from non-league football and the state of his own squad, I’m actually offering sympathy, rather than laying blame on undeserving shoulders. It isn’t as though Jenkinson had any help from his teammates.

Andrey Arshavin was one such teammate.  The diminutive Russian went missing for large parts of the game, and rarely, if ever, tracked back to help his struggling partner. Certainly, he posed a threat going forward in the first half but he was rarely seen after the break,  looking disinterested and, perhaps this is the most telling thing of all, dismayed.  It may have been upsetting to see your side rung up for eight goals, but you simply cannot let down your mates, as Arshavin did.

Aaron Ramsey, Van Persie and Walcott deserve praise for fighting until the final whistle.  The trio most certainly didn’t desert anyone, running for the entire disheartening match, vainly hoping to find another way past De Gea.  They are, along with Szczesny, who, to stretch a cliché into the sublime, limited the damage to half what it might have been, the only players in Arsenal blue who had reason to leave Old Trafford with their heads held high.

Of course, Arsenal were missing Gervinho, Jack Wilshere, Tomas Vermaelen and Bacary Sagna, but had they been in the team, how much of a difference would it have made?  Arsenal mightn’t have faced the indignity of conceding 8, but they would still have struggled to win the game as Manchester United were simply outstanding on the day.

Gervinho would probably have posed a greater attacking threat than Andrey Arshavin. Jack Wilshere would definitely have shown more guile and flair than Francis Coquelin. Thomas Vermaelen would easily have given more security to the defence than Johan Djourou, and Bacary Sagna could have kept Ashley Young quiet for longer stretches than Carl Jenkinson managed, but the blame for the result can only lay at one man’s feet.

His name is Arsene Wenger.

Sir Alex Ferguson was dignified in his post match interview, offering that Wenger was unlucky to have so many players out through either injury or suspension, but it was the Frenchman’s tactics that let Arsenal down, not the first team.

Wenger adheres strictly to his own philosophy of attractive ball movement, and, despite not having the personnel to apply his methods, remained true to them nonetheless.  With a midfield lacking the ability to control the tempo, Wenger soon found his side overrun by United’s midfield quartet. When the reality began to sink in, there was nothing he could do.  Plan B simly didn’t exist.  Having never schooled his charges in playing a defensive strategy, there was no other option but to sit back in his chair and watch the rout unfold.

Think back to last season when these two sides met, with Ferguson, due to injury and suspension, forced to field a starting eleven including seven defenders.  In that match, with a side coached in various tactics and formations, United surprised Arsenal by taking the offensive.  The Scot’s back line regulars, Fabio and Rafael da Silva, were fully prepared to play attacking football, which caught the one-dimensional Wenger by surprise.

The same opportunity to adapt to a difficult environment by taking a new tack was presented to the Frenchman this week.  It was a golden chance to revel in the irony of giving Sir Alex a taste of his own imaginative medicine.  Wenger knew the match was coming and how few players were available in midfield and defense.   Robin van Persie has played in the midfield in the past and other players, such as Henri Lansbury and Marouane Chamakh, decent footballers both, might have been drafted into the line-up in unfamiliar roles.  Doing so surely would have been preferable to bringing them on with the scoreline reading 7-2.  Yet, with time to plan and prepare, stubborn Arsene stuck to his preferred tactics and United were waiting.

Inevitably, when the final whistle blew and Wenger met the cameras for his post match interview, he was asked about job security. He responded by telling the public that he wouldn’t quit, no matter what. That has to be admired. Many other managers would have offered a churlish no comment or said that such a decision was in the hands of the board; a subtle but public plea for backing.  Typically, however, Wenger was unapologetic and forthright, telling the fans and the board alike that he wants to stay and oversee the rebuilding process.

Maybe I am being harsh. Maybe Manchester United were just too good for the Gunners. Maybe the passing and movement of Ashley Young, Nani and Wayne Rooney unlocked Arsenal’s defence and opened the floodgates. Or maybe, just maybe, Wenger needs to be pushed, rather than being forced to jump.

The Monday Morning Drip is a new column at WFC, grinding up the footy fare from the weekend into a blend of the choicest bits from leagues all over the world.  It’s also a weekly opportunity to appeal to footy bloggers out there, who are looking for a new forum in which to display their wares.  So, if you enjoy blogging, want to reach new readers and are available to cover your favourite league or team, then just click Write For WFC!  Meanwhile, open your laptop wide and say Ahhh.  Here’s this week’s Drip…

Best league in the world?  More competitive than La Liga?  More physical than the Bundesliga?  More ruthless than Serie A?  More French than Ligue 1?  The early Premier League season is not living up to that reputation.

After three weeks, the English top flight has been distilled down to a Mancunian blend of Blue and Red.  Roberto Mancini has the team he wants: Samir Nasri and David Silva pulling the strings, Edin Dzeko, Sergio Kun Aguero and (soon) Carlos Tevez finishing off the plays; Yaya Toure and Nigel de Jong finishing off any resistance and a back line marshaled by England number one Joe Hart minding the store.  Who stands a chance against the best side money can buy?

Sir Alex Ferguson’s Fledgling v.2, that’s who.  Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic may be injured; Edwin van der Sar, Gary Neville and Paul Scholes retired; John O’ Shea and Wes Brown sold to Sunderland; Ryan Giggs suddenly too slow to avoid the paparazzi and Dimitar Berbatov unhappily taking lessons in obsolescence from Michael Owen, but there’s a crop of youngsters surrounding Patrice Evra, Wayne Rooney, Nani and Anderson (?) who just reacted to City pounding Tottenham 5-1 at White Hart Lane by annihilating Arsenal 8-2.

The good news?  The Gunners scored their first two goals of the season and looked pretty decent offensively.  The fact that they had eight players missing from midfield and defence meant any points from this match were unlikely, but 8-2?  Holy shit is all that comes to mind.

The bad news?  United and City have a perfect record and a goal difference that matches or betters their point total, making Chelsea and Liverpool look like Toronto FC and River Plate (they’re relegated, don’t you know?).  Arsenal, meanwhile, are already seven points and eighteen goals behind.  But never fear, Arsene Wenger isn’t quitting!

Can you say Papiss Demba Cisse?  Wolfsburg players were repeating his name throughout their Sunday encounter, becoming so focused on the four-goal man that they allowed Oliver Barth, Erik Jendrisek and Cedric Makiadi to run up three goals against them.

Felix Magath’s second tenure at the Volkswagen Arena is not working out quite the same as the first, with a good deal of that down to the fact that Edin Dzeko is otherwise occupied — on Sunday he was busy knocking four goals into the Tottenham goal, in London.

If the stern tactician doesn’t right the ship quickly, he’ll be heading out of town.  A return to Schalke is out of the question, too.  Never mind that the Bundesliga isn’t a fancy version of Pong,  where a manager can bounce back and forth between clubs — that’s Serie A — Ralf Rangnick has the Gelsenkirchen side level on points with table topper Bayern Munich, thanks to an hour mark goal from the man who said no to Blackburn, Raul, which gave the Königsblauen a 1-0 victory over another fast starting squad, Borussia Mönchengladbach.

Bayern held on to first place thanks to a hat trick from Mario Gomez, which included a penalty miss, in a three-goal win over Kaiserslautern.  After the match, third time the charm coach Jupp Heynckes held forth that the Rekordmeister “would only get better.”  He’s obviously been dipping into the same sauce as Fergie and Mancini.

Gomez’ Saturday romp was overshadowed, though, by the collective efforts of Hamburg and Köln, with the visitors winning a 4-3 shootout.  Lukas Podolski came on at the half to break the 1-1 deadlock, setting up Milivoje Novakovic less than five minutes after the restart.  Hamburg jumped back out in front, scoring on either side of the hour, only for Köln to rise up in the final ten minutes, stealing all the points on goals from Christian Clemens and Kevin McKenna.

Either Heerenveen have gotten their act together or Feyenoord aren’t quite back to the level of Ajax and Twente.  After Ron Jans’ side dropped consecutive 5-1 decisions to the top pair, they escaped De Kuip with a 2-2 draw against Ronald Koeman’s young charges.  Bas Dost and Oussama Assaidi had the goals for the erstwhile bottom feeders.

Meanwhile, the yellow and black were put on their back both in Amsterdam and Enschede, as Ajax maintained pace with Twente, each running out 4-1 winners against Vitesse and VVV Venlo respectively.

PSV woke up, at last, after sleeping through their opening rounds.  A 6-1 mauling of new cellar dwellers Excelsior announced the Eindhoven club’s arrival in the title chase.  AZ Alkmaar are also still in the hunt, after a 3-0 victory over FC Groningen.

The madness may be coming to an end in France.  Seriously, Montpellier and Toulouse leading the pack?  It’s like Gordon Brown and George Bush in charge of Great Britain and the US; only bad things can happen.

Lyon took care of first place Montpellier, with a 2-1 victory on Saturday, bringing La Paillade back to the pack.  Miralem ‘No Need To’ Pjanic and Jeremy ‘Murdoch Got’ Pied put Les Gones in the driver’s seat, although Henri Bedimo pegged one back in added time, suggesting that the early league leaders still have some fight in them.

On Sunday, new money PSG toured the baronies, informing previously unbeaten Toulouse that it was time to take their name literally.  Kevin Gameiro had pegged back Etienne Capoue’s first half goal with a fifty-third minute tally, and the clubs seemed destined to split the points, only for Mevlut Erding and Jeremy Menez to both strike in time added on.  That’s the type of result that €100 million or so will buy you.

Apparently, Zaragoza is Spanish for ‘Madrid will kick our ass’.  Real took advantage of the fact that Barcelona were otherwise occupied in Monaco, knocking off Porto in the UEFA Super Cup, with Lionel Messi and Cesc Fabregas on the scoresheet, to open up a healthy lead in the table.  Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat trick but that was only half the story, as Marcelo, Xabi Alonso and Kaka also joined in the fun.

Five other sides also won in the opening matches, after a one-week wildcat strike over unpaid wages postponed the original opening week of the competition.  All of those results were of the one-goal variety, however, lending credence to the new theory that La Liga is just a poor imitation of the Premier League:  a two team competition without any tackling.

Speaking of poor imitations, Serie A players elected to strike, themselves, this week, over Lega Calcio’s attempt to force transfers upon players in the final year of their contracts and to ban them from training with the first team when they prefer to seek pastures new.

Of course, Samuel Eto’o wasn’t feeling any solidarity with his Italian brethren, as he negotiated a tidy arrangement for himself with Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala.  When you’re making €335,000 per week, the rest of your comrades can eat tiramisu.

Anzhi were muddling through a scoreless draw with FK Rostov on Saturday, when coach Ghadzi Ghadziev summoned Eto’o from his pitch side jacuzzi, on the hour mark.  While the Cameroonian was still towelling off, Timofey Kalachev put the hosts ahead.  Eto’o found his stride, though, and equalised with ten minutes remaining.  That’s one week’s pay in the bank.  Imagine what he might have done if Anzhi were paying him a cool half mil.

On Sunday, Zenit St. Petersburg blasted five goals past an impotent Kuban Krasnodar squad to put some distance between themselves and CSKA, who survived a heated 2-2 Moscow derby with Spartak.  Alexander Kerzhakov joined the weekend hat trick club, powering the rout, with Roman Shirokov and Danny also smoking the Kubans.

Dinamo’s 2-0 home victory over Spartak Nalchik kept them in the title chase, as well, six points off the pace.

Two weeks ago I ended the J-League section of the Drip by asking selfish European players to take note of the tireless efforts of Keisuke Honda and Shinji Kagawa, who played matches for their European clubs on either side of a midweek commute to Sapporo for an international friendly against South Korea.  I’m not sure what to think about the possibility that Freddie Ljungberg was the only player who took heed.

The ex-Gunner, Seattle Sounder, Chicago Fire and Celtic winger will be plying his trade with mid-table side Shimizu S-Pulse.

“I am so excited about playing in Japan.  I was inspired by the way the Japanese people dealt with the tragedy of March 11 earthquake and I really want to show support for them by playing football in Japan and for S-Pulse in particular.”

The diabetically sugar-coated statement, while par for the course in the game, and especially in the endlessly courteous Land of the Rising Sun, likely has Sounders’ fans choking on their Starbucks double latte ventes, given the Swede’s me-first attitude while in America.  It’s pleasant to think of how soon he’ll be heading back to the west if he tries that in Japan.

Meanwhile, season long leaders Kashiwa Reysol slipped to fourth after dropping a 2-0 decision to new table topper Gamba Osaka, in mid-week.  Champion Nagoya Grampus Eight are a point off the pace after picking up two wins during the week, as the J-League crams the matches in after a delayed start to the season caused by the tragic events in March.  Lundberg’s unsuspecting new teammates, S-Pulse, maintained their mid-table status by picking up a pair of draws.

Has Hell frozen over?  Major League Soccer wrapped up matches on Saturday, this weekend, permitting those players on international duty to get a jump on their European counterparts, as they jet out to link up with their national squads.  As well, the usually indifferent American league will only be playing two matches over the break.  Seriously, when did MLS start caring about international play?  I didn’t get the memo.

There were two matches of note over the weekend.  Jeff Cunningham converted a penalty as the hour approached in Seattle, making him the all-time MLS goal scorer, with one hundred and thirty-four tallies, surpassing Jaime Moreno.  Unfortunately, it was a bittersweet moment, as his Columbus Crew were already down four goals, at the time.  The final score was 6-2, and, yes, there was a hat trick, Lamar Neagle doing the honours.

In Kansas City, FC Dallas cooled off the hot Sporting KC, with a 3-2 road killing.  The home side was enjoying a two goal lead with twenty minutes remaining, when Ugo Ihemelu, Maicon Santos and Bobby Warshaw turned the match on its head.  As they have all season, the Hoops proved that losing a key player, such as the man who said yes to Blackburn, George John, is something they are prepared to handle.†

FCD and Sounders moved within range of the rampant but idle LA Galaxy with the wins.

†So, naturally, having written that, it is announced that Blackburn Rovers and John apparently cannot agree on terms, nixing the deal.  He’ll go back to an exciting FC Dallas club and Rovers will continue to lose.

Clausura champion UNAM Pumas continued their precipitous dip in form, with a 2-1 home defeat at the hands of crosstown rivals Cruz Azul.  Previously, the club had been stunned by mid-table Puebla and, in the CONCACAF Champions League, were held to a bore draw by Panamanians FC Tauro.  The slump sees Pumas in fifth place, still within the eight team playoff picture but hardly comfortable.

As Chivas also slipped to defeat at San Luis, on Saturday, the victory pushed Cruz Azul into the top spot in the league.  Monterrey corrected their own slide, with a 2-0 triumph over Santos, thanks to strikes from Luis Perez and bullet headed Chilean assassin Humberto Suarez.

In Brazil, there was a major upset, with Campeonato leaders Corinthians falling at Palmeiras, 2-1.  Emerson put the visitors up after eighteen minutes but Luan leveled ten minutes before the break and Fernandao put the hosts ahead just afterwards.

The damage wasn’t too severe, however, as closest rivals Flamengo, with Deivid and Ronaldhino both in the eleven, were held to a surprising goalless draw at home by Vasco de Gama.  Neymar, Ganso and their Santos teammates continued in their morass, falling in a Paulista derby, 0-1, to Sao Paolo.

River is dead, long live the new River!  Atletico Rafaella, the country bumpkins who consigned once mighty River Plate to the second division for the first time in their history, are now sitting atop the table in the Primera Division de Argentina. Leaving more pedigreed clubs, such as Boca Juniors, Racing Club and Velez Sarsfield in the blocks, the new boys have run off three victories in their first four matches to set the early pace.

The latest victim was a stunned Olimpo, who fell 3-1 on goals from Alexis Nicolas Castro, Dario Gaudin and Walter Omar Serrano.  Massive clubs with money to spare might have been the cream of this week’s Drip, but it’s a good feeling when the final sip at the bottom of the cup is just as sweet as the first, dregs or no.

See you next Monday! 

Liverpool got their season well and truly up and running with a 2-0 win at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday. After the disappointment of the home draw with Sunderland, the Reds made the most of Arsenal’s current issues to register their first three points of the new campaign.

Sympathy for the Gunners’ plight will be thin on the ground around the Anfield Road though, as most fans will have identified Arsenal as the easiest of the targets from last season’s top four to overhaul this year, making the result very much welcome.

The obvious assumption to draw from the match would be that Andy Carroll was ineffective, as the Reds improved markedly after he and Dirk Kuyt were withdrawn from the field.  That would be unfair though, as perhaps the key incident of the match occurred directly before the double substitution, when Arsenal’s Emmanuel Frimpong, who was making his first start in the Premiership, was sent off.

After that, Liverpool had significantly more space in the midfield, and were able to play with much more freedom. That’s a positive reflection on Frimpong, who actually played well before his sending off, but make no mistake about it, he deserved to go.

His foul on Lucas Leiva was probably worthy of a red card in its own right, but after the initial caution (a ludicrous incident on his part, as he contested and blocked a Liverpool throw which was clearly awarded correctly) he was never going to see out the match.   His studs-up lunge on Liverpool’s current player of the year was the type of play which sends Arsene Wenger into a fit of pique but which Gunners fans have been calling for from their squad.

If the Ghanaian teenager can hone his aggression to a knifes edge, and couple it with a good first pass in transition, the club will have the terrier that everyone but the Frenchman deems has been lacking.  The question is whether Wenger will allow Frimpong to take that path.  If he does, the nadir which the Emirates side have entered will be a short one and they will be back with a vengeance.

Kenny Dalglish played a blinder immediately following the red card, as he sent on Raul Meireles and Luis Suárez who were able to run rings around a tiring Arsenal defence.

The Liverpool manager faced criticism in some quarters, last week,  for not making use of his third substitution against Sunderland, despite the clear evidence that the team had run out of steam in the second half. He only used two this week as well, but they made the difference almost immediately.

Liverpool took the lead on 78 minutes, through an Aaron Ramsey own goal. Although he was unlucky to block Ignasi Miquel’s attempted clearance causing it to loop into the net, he was the Arsenal player most at fault for the goal. He failed to track the run of Raul Meireles as he charged towards the penalty area, which enabled the Portuguese to pass easily to Suárez, thereby causing the confusion which led to the goal.

With the sending off and the own-goal combining to form a demoralising one-two suicide punch, Lucas, Meireles and Suárez then enjoyed the freedom of the Emirates Stadium as injury time approached.  The trio wove a neat little triangle through the beleaguered Gunners defence, leaving the substitute striker with a tap-in to wrap up a well-earned three points. It was very much an Arsenal style goal ironically enough, as the Reds (or Blacks, based on their away shirts) walked the ball into the net.

Suárez now has two league goals from just ninety-four minutes of match play, giving him a less notable but certainly comparable record with another Rioplatense super-sub.  After Man City’s match with Bolton, which tempered the enthusiasm over Sergio Aguero’s debut two-goal cameo against Swansea City the two South Americans now have a virtually identical record — the Argentine has played ninety-nine minutes in his two matches.

So aside from the substitutes, who else played well?

Martin Kelly impressed in his first appearance since February. So much so that I wonder if Glen Johnson will be able to get back into the team once he regains fitness.

Last season Liverpool played well with Kelly at right-back and Johnson on the opposite flank, but with Jose Enrique beginning his Anfield career so well, is there room for Johnson?  I praised Enrique in my review of the Sunderland match last week, and can only do so again. He defended superbly and pushed Theo Walcott, the Arsenal right-winger, to the periphery of the game.

Following the sale of Fabregas,  Arsene Wenger would have been looking to senior players like Walcott and Samir Nasri to make a big impression yesterday.  Unfortunately, it appeared that Nasri was distracted by the news that City were unwilling to meet his wage demands. Arsenal’s midweek Champions League second leg against Udinese will be interesting, as Wenger, who will be sitting in the stands, after receiving a two-match ban, has indicated he has no qualms about starting Nasri, and City’s Roberto Mancini has subtly threatened to call the deal off if he does.

Whereas Nasri, for the most part, played himself out of the game, Enrique’s efforts restricted Walcott to a mere 15 passes and ensured that none of his six crosses were successful.  As well, the Gunner won just one of his eight possession duels, while Enrique won eight of his ten to emphasise the point further.

Of course it wasn’t all positive for the Reds. The ease with which Nasri, when he did manage to focus, ran from deep in his own half to the edge of the Liverpool penalty area to get a decent shot away was concerning. I’m not convinced that Charlie Adam can play in a central midfield two, and as great as he is, Lucas Leiva can’t be expected to cover everything on his own.  Yet, these are minor quibbles. If you can’t be happy when you’ve won away at a significant rival, then you’re either a United or Chelsea fan, and who wants to be that?

As I mentioned last week, I will be monitoring Liverpool’s progress in their pursuit of a Champions League place.

Based on previous Premier league campaigns, 1.8 points per game should prove enough for fourth place. Whilst the Reds are currently on 2.0 ppg, just two games is hardly a good measuring stick.  However, in those two matches, LFC have outperformed the corresponding fixtures from last season.

As well, in King Kenny’s twenty league fixtures in charge, the side has averaged 1.85 ppg.  Thus, the club seem to be heading in the right direction.

With away matches at Stoke and Spurs on the horizon, next Saturday’s home match with Bolton takes on the shape of a key fixture. Three points will send the Reds into the next international break in very fine fettle indeed.  A draw may be cause for some concern, and a defeat…. well, I don’t want to think about that.

Statistics sourced from EPLIndex. Read more of Andrew Beasley @ basstunedtored.com

The six matches on Premier League Saturday sent mixed signals.  On the one hand, it’s August and Everton lost, so everything seems normal.  On the other, Aston Villa fans applauded Alex McLeish and Emile Heskey scored a goal, so the world could be tilting on its axis.  In London, the rioting has subsided but the sky is falling, as Arsenal and Chelsea are both struggling, never mind that the latter won today.  Elsewhere, Steve Bruce and Sunderland continued their futility in the Tyne/Wear derby and Roberto Martinez and Wigan theirs against newly promoted sides with whom they’re expected to battle, in the spring, for Premier League survival.

For the Latics, the futility hasn’t been quite so bad as for the Black Cats.  They’ve drawn their two matches, which puts them in that no man’s land that is equal parts winless and unbeaten.  On the other hand, having survived relegation on the final day last season, Swansea and Norwich are two sides against which Wigan can realistically measure itself.  Two points and one goal are not totals with which manager Martinez should be happy.  Yes, Dutch keeper Michel Vorm denied Ben Watson from the spot, but a goal or two from open play would have given the side confidence, rather than doubt.

They’ll have two more chances to get it right, against Neil Warnock sides, past and present, in the coming week.  Wigan travel to Crystal Palace on Tuesday, in Carling Cup action, and then welcome QPR next Saturday.  With Tony Fernandes having purchased the club and promised funding for new players, there may be some unexpected faces in the line-up for that one.  The hottest rumour is Scott Parker moving over from West Ham.

It was Warnock and QPR, by the way, who put the Toffee’s off to another poor start to a Premier League season.  David Moyes, with a relatively healthy squad (barring Seamus Coleman), had every right to expect a positive beginning after avoiding a difficult road tilt in the first week of the season.  Yet, on the half hour, Phil Jagielka gave the ball away and Tommy Smith — not that one, although I’m going to say it, anyway — put the ball in the auld onion bag.  Even with not-quite-fit Marouane Fellaini and Mikel Arteta coming on for the final half hour, the Toffees couldn’t find an equaliser and left the home crowd disappointed.  The one bright spot was the play of youngster Ross Barkley, who lit it up on the wing.   In the seventeen year old, Moyes has apparently unearthed another nugget.

Next up for Everton is a trip to hapless Blackburn, who have learned that there are worse situations than having a long serving chairman, such as Bill Kenwright, who can no longer afford to finance a competitive Premiership side; you can be bought by a concern who don’t know how.

After dropping their home opener against Wolves last week, 1-2, Rovers quickly found themselves down two goals less than a half hour into their visit to Villa Park.  Gaby Agbonlahor is making Claret & Blue supporters forget Ashley Young, scoring the first after sweeping in from the left, and then setting up Heskey on twenty-five minutes.  When Morten Gamst-Pedersen’s header seemed to have given Steve Kean’s side life, Darren Bent did what an England striker should, poaching a loose ball and killing off the match.  The downside to Villa’s day was that all three of McLeish’s substitutions were forced by injuries, to Agbonlahor before the break and then Heskey and Luke Young.

Thus, Blackburn are rooted to the cellar, with no immediate prospects for improvement.  To give a clearer sense of Steve Kean’s plight, there seem to be no takers for want-away striker El-Hadji Diouf and any prospects who might make a difference, such as Schalke forward Raul, have absolutely no interest in the club.  Worse, the loss made Kean the first Scot to be defeated by McLeish in a dozen Premier League attempts.  If you were wondering who might be this year’s West Ham or Pompey…

While Blackburn’s inefficacy can be traced back to the club’s purchase by Venky’s and the subsequent sacking of Sam Allardyce, Sunderland’s open-door policy against Newcastle goes back three decades.  The Mackems have tasted victory at home against the Geordies just the once in thirty-one years.

Saturday’s failure came despite the second intervention by Swede Sebastian Larsson in less than a week.  Apparently, after plucking the ball out of mid-air with a beautiful volley to equalise against Liverpool six days ago, the Swede had a chat with new Reds striker Luis Suarez.  It would seem that pointers were given, as Larsson this week plucked a goal-bound Joey Barton effort with an extended arm, on the quarter-hour.  Much to Barton and his teammates’ incredulity, referee Howard Webb and his linesman only awarded a corner kick on the play, instead of the deserved penalty and red card.  Eventually, Ryan Taylor’s scintillating free kick gave the Magpies the goal they had been denied and, with Sunderland failing to make good on their chances, it was enough.

In London, meanwhile, Chelsea’s fightback from a goal down wasn’t sufficient for Blues fans.  After exploding out of the gate twelve months ago, the stuttering start to the new campaign under Andres Villas-Boas has been met with impatience.  Expectations have always been high at Stamford Bridge but one would hope that a new manager who has lost his midfield destroyer to a serious knee injury, is waiting on his suddenly reluctant Russian billionaire to spend the money necessary to supply him with a trequartista and/or capable winger, and has inherited the £50 million version of Emile Heskey might be given a few games to get everyone pulling in the same direction.

Even though Shane Long’s second goal against a recent Premier League champion in as many games gave West Brom the lead, this much can be said for Villas-Boas:  by and large, he got his tactics right and where he didn’t, he wasn’t afraid to make a correction.  Starting Nicolas Anelka and yanking Salomon Kalou in favour of Florent Malouda after only thirty minutes provided the Portuguese with the two goals required for Chelsea to fight their way past the (comparatively speaking) paper Baggies.

Not that West Brom, although they are level on points, are as soggy as Blackburn.  Roy Hodgson’s side has given the past two title holders everything they could handle to open the season.  The points will come for his side.

Which brings us to Arsenal.  The Gunners have been held scoreless in their opening two matches, something which has never happened on Arsene Wenger’s watch.  The cries for his ouster from the ‘What have you done for me lately?’ crowd are getting louder.  The reasoning that his methods have failed to yield a trophy over six years carry some weight but the squad is not in as dire circumstances as some make out.  The loss against Liverpool was almost inevitable, given that the Gunners were missing a half-dozen players to injury and two more to suspension, temporary setbacks both.   Yet, despite Wenger fielding an early round cup side against a full strength Liverpool bunch (again, with the lone exception of Steven Gerard),  it took the intervention of fate to break the deadlock between the two sides.

With Laurent Koscielny forced off early with a back injury, reserve player Ignasi Miquel was forced into action.  The young Spaniard looked quite good until Luis Suarez hurried him into blasting a clearance off Aaron Ramsey’s chest and into the goal, on seventy-eight minutes.  Suarez would tap-in at the death to put matters beyond doubt but Emmanuel Frimpong also looked good for Arsenal, and every bit the physical midfielder for which the fans have been begging, until he picked up his second booking, leaving the side at the mercy of a relentless Reds attack.  That has been the Gunners’ story for some time, now:  looking good until….

As bad as it may seem, however, without Wenger, 2011-12 would likely be one long hangover for Gunners faithful.

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Well, one game down, one point on the board.  As well, it was a very close, scrappy game as I predicted the last week – oh crap, is anyone out there a chiropractor?  I think I’ve strained something patting myself on the back.

The contest might have been much better had the early season lack of match fitness not reared its ugly head. I’m not going to go into match reviews too much in these columns, you can check out Andrew’s work for that. Think of us as one of those couples that comes to a costume party dressed as a donkey.  He’s the back end.

My main aim during the season will be to provide you with some tactical insight and, hopefully, what to expect from upcoming matches throughout the season.

Let’s start with a look at the Gooners side of things.

It has been a summer to forget for Arsenal, watching captain Cesc Fabregas return to Spanish giants Barcelona and waiting for French winger Samir Nasri to head north to Manchester.  And while those two were hogging the headlines, others have made their exit without much notice:  Denilson returned to Brazil; Emmanuel Eboue joined the growing ex-Premier League contingent in Turkey, with Galatasaray; and Gael Clichy has preceded Nasri to Manchester City. The only additions so far have been Joel Campbell, Gervinho, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Carl Jenkinson and Ryo Myaichi, the Japanese recalled from his loan spell at Feyenoord. With an average age of just over 19, it looks like Arsenal could be looking at another “next season” speech from Arsene Wenger.

Worse, Arsenal’s squad is looking paper-thin in the middle of the park and just non-existent in the left back area. The players unavailable for this match reads like a catalogue:

It makes great reading for Liverpool fans, as Arsenal have no fit left back and their main source of creativity (Wilshere) is missing, as well. It was evident against Newcastle that Arsenal lacked that killer ball in the final third and Wilshere is the man who can provide it.   His absence can only help LFC’s chances.

Normally, one would expect Arsenal to dominate possession, passing around the opposition.  However, in their midweek Champions League qualifier against Serie A side Udinese, they failed to control the game for large periods. LFC will have to force the issue and shut down any passing triangles that Arsenal look to start in the midfield.  For me, that requires a midfield duo of Lucas Leiva and Jay Spearing to get the nod with Charlie Adam camped in front of them.

In defence, LFC will have to be switched on from the opening touch and prepared to intercept the through balls that Arsenal will feed to their front three.  Kenny Dalglish’s selection of John Flanagan over Martin Kelly in the Sunderland was rather peculiar, perhaps hinting that the Scot may be considering Kelly as cover at centre back when (not if) Daniel Agger gets injured.  For this game, though, Kelly’s selection at right back makes more sense due to his better reading of the game. There is also the ever-threatening Dutchman, Robin Van Persie, with whom to contend; a close eye will have to be kept on him at all times.  Too often, the new Gunner captain creates something from nothing.  Kelly’s added bit of experience should help with that.

In the Liverpool offensive third, runners sneaking in behind could find a great deal of joy against the jerry-rigged Gooner defence, if Tuesday night is any indication. Bacary Sagna was caught up the field several times against the Bianconeri, perhaps to eager to exploit the absence of new Barcelona man Alexis Sánchez.  If the Reds can draw Arsenal forward, history may repeat itself. Adam loves to play the diagonal ball into the corner and if Downing hugs that left hand touchline…

Further fun could be had down the right hand side, as well, where either Thomas Vermaelen or Carl Jenkinson will be asked to slot in, although they aren’t natural left-sided defenders.

Against Sunderland, Andy Carroll’s tendency to chase the ball into midfield proved problematic, leaving the Reds with no one leading the line or providing a central forward outlet. At the Emirates, the same tactic could turn out to be a blessing; Vermaelen tends to follow the play forward and, like Sagna is not versed in C-Y-A.   Pushing Suarez right up alongside Carroll might help Liverpool capitalise on the Belgian’s adventurous nature.

Admittedly, what I’m suggesting will result in the formation becoming lopsided at times.  Stewart Downing would be providing the only major width, but the Kelly’s inclusion on the opposite flank compensates for that somewhat, as he can gallop up and down the touch line all day,

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Make no mistake.  This season is going to be, without a doubt, the most interesting in the history of the Premier League. With so many teams vying for supremacy, there will be numerous challengers to Manchester United’s crown.  Last year, United’s main rival coming in was clearly identified as Chelsea.  No surprise really; the defending champions should be the team to beat.  This year, however, it’s United who are looking to repeat.    With both Chelsea and Manchester City’s managers clearly stating their intent to win the title this season, you’d expect one of those clubs to be my nomination as the Red Devils’ chief rival.  There’s another team, though, which I believe poses a bigger threat, and that is Liverpool.

Kenny Dalglish has bought big this summer — bringing in Charlie Adam for around £9 million, Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing for near enough £20 million apiece, and Jose Enrique for £6 million.  The club may talk about taking one step at a time and reclaiming their place in the top four, but Dalglish is not the sort to set easy targets for himself.  As a player he was a champion and, before his retirement, raised trophies as a manager, as well.  There is no question that his intent is to return to the top at the earliest opportunity.

It may not be that simple, but with the quality that Liverpool have throughout the side, not to mention their Premier League pedigree, I expect them to be fighting tooth and nail with Manchester United and the rest all season long.

While from a mental standpoint, Dalglish may have had to start from scratch with the Reds, there was plenty of ability to work with when he first stepped into the void created by Roy Hodgson, Rafa Benitez, Tom Hicks and George Gillet.  Pepe Reina is arguably the best keeper in the Premier League.  Jamie Carragher, while as slow as, remains a rock at the heart of the defence; one who would rather die than miss a tackle — if you can believe everything a Kopite will tell you.  Steven Gerrard, when fit, may be the best English midfielder of his generation (put your hand down Scholesy, you were a generation before).  If that trio weren’t a solid foundation, Dalglish moved quickly to replace the unsettled Fernando Torres with Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez, in essentially a £50 million two-fer.

And who could forget the fan factor at Anfield? When the place is rocking, there is no ground like it in the league and it is, bar Old Trafford, the toughest away ground from which to take points.

When you put all of these factors together, I think United have identified their nearest challengers.

Okay, while you try to get a grip on yourself, I’ll give equal time to the more popular nominees.

Many people believe that Manchester City, with their big spending and galaxy of world class players, will push United all the way.  Having bought established names where Liverpool bought youth, they have the experience required.  However, they have the same lack of familiarity and tenfold the egos in a dressing room roughly the same size as the one Merseyside.

As we have seen with Carlos Tevez, Emmanuel Adebayor, and Craig Bellamy, in the professional sense, and Mario Balotelli in the opposite, City has too many players concerned about the me rather than the we.  That absence of trust, combined with a lack of discipline (City were cautioned ten times for dissent, more than any other Premier League side in ’10-11), will hold the side back from their ultimate goal of Premier League glory.

Certainly, they have spent  sufficiently — again! — to be considered a title threat, yet the greater part of that has been on one player:  Sergio Kun Aguero, whose price tag was comparable to Carroll.  Stefan Savic and Gael Clichy are the only other purchases the Eastlands outfit have made, their cost roughly equal to Adam and Enrique.

Of course, £50 million for the three is a princely sum, but surely City need to buy well, and not necessarily big, if they are going to win the Premier League?   After all, the two don’t always go hand in hand. Just look at the purchases of Javier Hernandez and Fernando Torres. The little Mexican cost £6 million and was easily the signing of the season.  Meanwhile had the £50 million Torres provided more than one goal to Chelsea, they very well might have caught — and passed — United in the final weeks.

Problematic is that City look set to miss out on long time target Samuel Eto’o, and it has become apparent that they need to buy experience in midfield. Yaya Toure and Nigel De Jong are excellent footballers but City need a marshal in midfield; someone who can break up the play without breaking bones or giving away foul after foul. Daniele De Rossi would provide that and, if Mancini were to bring in the Italian, they would surely be contenders.

To me, however, they don’t seem quite there, as yet.

Chelsea, on the other hand, are a conundrum. With Roman Abramovich taking a relative gamble by bringing in a thirty-three year old manager, albeit with at least some backroom experience in English football management, Chelsea will need to hit the ground running, and, in this campaign, keep going.

Nine points out of nine from their first three matches against Stoke, West Brom and Norwich would have been ideal, even reasonable given their two 6-0 results and a 25-2 aggregate over the first five league matches and opening Champions League group game, last year.  Yet, the side is missing Michael Essien, has the doubt of Fernando Torres’ form still hanging over their heads and now, sadly, the spectre of Jon Obi Mikel’s father’s abduction in Nigeria.  The scoreless result against the stalwart Potters at the Brittanica wasn’t too shocking considering.  Overwhelming problems don’t matter to the fans and the media, however.  If Villas-Boas doesn’t get his side in gear quickly, they’ll be on his back like lions on a wildebeest.  And that can only be bad gnus.

Having said that (!), there is more than enough quality at Stamford Bridge to win the league, regardless of who Abramovich puts in charge.   How many other teams can boast the potent attacking threat of Fernando Torres and Didier Drogba? – the midfield ability of Frank Lampard, Florent Malouda and, when fit, Michael Essien? — the defensive strength of John Terry, Ashley Cole, Alex and Branislav Ivanovic? –and how many other teams can boast a goalkeeper with the qualities of Petr Cech? In reply to the last, at least, these days not even United can.

The Blues veterans are, when on the top of their games, probably the best in the world in their positions, but when they hit a blip, the whole team can be thrown off kilter.  Last season’s November collapse, triggered oddly enough by the firing of one of the backroom staff, saw them lose 3-0 at home to Sunderland, 1-0 to Birmingham and, in the match which usually lifts them out of these slumps, a 3-1 London derby defeat against Arsenal over the holidays.

Happy Christmas.

In total, Chelsea picked up three points from six November and December games and, although they gave it every effort, never recovered.

Now, I am not saying that such a run will happen again.  Still, if Andre Villas-Boas fails to sell the players on his methods and fan unrest grows, then they are just as likely to face a battle for third as one for the title.

Arsenal are another team that is always mentioned when the new season rolls around, but with Cesc Fabregas now officially in Barcelona, and Samir Nasri likely heading north and west, Arsene Wenger’s stubborn refusal to enter the transfer market — although he may be softening — means that the Gunners are likely to be battling their London rivals, Spurs, for the fourth Champions League spot.

Nevertheless, if Wenger does decide to spend the income gained by the sales of Fabregas and Nasri, then he will have to do it both quickly and wisely for the Gunners to stay in contention for the title. So far this summer, Gervinho, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Carl Jenkinson have come in, but only one of those players looks ready for the first team.

With Robin Van Persie all too susceptible to injury, Wenger must invest in another striker and he must replace at least one of the aforementioned midfielders.  If Gervinho is injured, there will be no one to replace him as the Frenchman’s squad looks thin on the ground, as it is.  Jack Wilshere is still out and Emmanuel Eboue is on his way to Galatasaray, which essentially leaves Aaron Ramsey, Andrei Arshavin and Tomas Rosicky.  Not a lot of cover for a team in four competitions.  Be that as it may, with only a fortnight to do business, signing replacements may prove easier said than done for the wily Frenchman.

Now, don’t misunderstand me.  I am not rating Manchester United miles above the rest or considering them as automatic favorites for the title.  I’m hoping that they win it but I’m realistic about the difficulty of the task.  Fergie’s new fledglings have some glaring deficiencies that need sorting.

Ashley Young certainly showed his potential against West Brom on Sunday, as did Tom Cleverley.  Danny Welbeck wasn’t bad, himself.  Conversely, David de Gea will be looking ahead to better days.  But one game does not a career, or season, make for any of them.  They will all have to put in top performances on a weekly basis and against tougher opposition to prove their mettle.

Yet, I’m not Alan Hansen, either.  The talent is there and the management, as well.  If you blend this batch of kids, including De Gea, Young, Cleverley, Welbeck, Chris Smalling, Phil Jones and the da Silva twins, with Nani, Wayne Rooney, Nemanja Vidic, Rio Ferdinand, Patrice Evra and Javier Hernandez  – whom you would have expected to be lumped in with the other youngbloods — you might just have a winning recipe.

Six of seven scheduled matches went off on Saturday, with only Tottenham v Everton scrapped due to the pitch invasion taking place on a metropolitan scale in several English cities.

There was looting and casualties at Loftus Road, with Bolton smashing and grabbing a 4-0 victory over QPR — a rude welcome for the new Premier League residents.  Gary Cahill, Ivan Klasnic and Fabrice Muamba did the damage for Bolton and Danny Gabbidon added one for the Hoops.  Unfortunately, in all the confusion, the new signing realised too late that he was at the wrong end and should have been keeping the ball out.  Worse for Neil Warnock, new signing Kieron Dyer had to be stretchered off, having broken a bone in his foot.

At Ewood Park, Wolves fought back from an early Mauro Formica goal — Venky’s being too skint to go with hardwood or marble — to claim a 2-1 win over Blackburn.  Two of the Three Steves, Fletcher and Ward, hit the target for the Wanderers while Kevin Doyle missed a third from the spot.  Afterwards, Rovers boss Steve Kean bemoaned the fact that, due to injury and the lack of summer purchases, he had no proper centre halves for the match.  Then he urged the club’s new owners to spend a little money.

“We are making realistic bids and they are not coming off. Maybe we will have to pay over the odds to ensure that we get people here. We have to speed up the process because I don’t think we can go another couple of games having to play central midfielders at centre-half. We certainly need bodies. We’ve got 11 players who were on the books in one form or another that have left the club since last season and we’ve brought three in. We need to make sure we get a good number of players coming back in and make sure we have a competitive squad.” 

Isn’t this where Big Sam Allardyce came in, or to be more accurate, went out?  Have a care, Steve-o; the new brand of Premier League chairman, whether it’s Venky’s, Mike Ashley or Flavio Briatore doesn’t want to hear their manager crying about money.  Just get on with the football and leave the profits from player sales to us.

At Anfield, Liverpool’s start to the campaign was a microcosm, if in reverse, of their 2010-11 inconsistency.  Luis Suarez missed from the spot but made up for it five minutes later, putting the Reds in front early.  But then Andy Carroll had a goal disallowed for offsides and Stewart Downing hit the woodwork, setting the stage for Sebbe Larsson’s sublime strike to level terms.

There was some argument over the official definition of a clear path to goal on the penalty, as Suarez was rounding keeper Simone Mignolet — and thus temporarily tacking away from goal — when the caught out Kieran Richardson brought him down, earning a yellow card rather than a straight red.  Had Suarez not skied his penalty, though, the debate may have been more teapot and less tempest.

In an early preview to this spring’s coming relegation battle, Wigan and Norwich battled to a one-goal draw.  Ben Watson put the Latics ahead from the spot and Wesley Hoolahan equalised in first-half added time.

And those were the four matches in which goals were scored.  Yet, it was one of the three goalless encounters which stirred up the hornet’s nest of controversy for the day.

Last year at St. James Park, Arsenal jumped out to a four-goal lead at the half and then squandered it.  This year, the two sides proved more interested in attacking each other than the goal.

In the first half, Alex Song trampled a prostrate Joey Barton, which apparently activated the self destruct sequence in the combustible Newcastle midfielder’s head.  After the break, new Emirates signing Gervinho went down under a gust of wind and Barton’s timer hit zero.  Running over, he grabbed the Ivorian by the scruff of the neck and, hauling him to his feet, chastised him for diving.

The Ivorian reacted to the manhandling by slapping Barton in the kisser, hard enough to apparently dislodge the midfielder’s abhorrence for the practice of simulation.   Stricken, the Magpie theatrically clutched his face and slumped to the ground, drawing a red card for the former Lille winger and only yellow for his own actions.

So, despite Bolton’s romp and Wolves and Sunderland’s fightbacks, it was this match, in which Alan Pardew’s Toon parked the bus and Arsene Wenger’s Gunners, preparing for life without Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri by playing without Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri, were merely pedestrian in their attempts to break through, that commanded the public’s attention.  Once again, fans of English football proved that they prefer a good dust-up to a technically proficient contest.  And everyone wonders why the England is going through its current ordeal.

In trying to explain his seeming hypocrisy, Barton took to Twitter:

“I went down easy, no doubt. Still, you can’t raise your hands… What do I have to gain by standing and trading with him? NOWT.  Standing and defending myself has only got me in trouble before. What do you want me to do, hit him back? Or hope the ref keeps him on [the pitch]?”

Didn’t they chat you up about preventative measures in all those anger management courses, Joey?  You see, if you don’t go around horse-collaring opponents, the question of defending oneself may not arise, hmm?

“If he doesn’t dive then the incident doesn’t happen.”

Fair enough, but see my last comment.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten involved….”

Let’s hear it for hindsight!

“…but diving and trying to win a penalty is s***.  Needs stamping out.  I train all summer to have him cheat us out of a hard-earned point? It’s not on. Diving should be a three-game ban. Respect the game.”

Again, fair enough on diving being *hit, but it’s a bit late to be respecting the game when you’ve just roughed up someone in front of over 40,000 witnesses.

“If there’s contact, go down – but don’t blatantly try to con the ref. Refs have it hard enough.”

Joey, Joey, Joey.  He slapped you in the face, mate — barely brushed your cheek, if we’re being honest.  Yet, you went down like Steve Austin had just dropped a Stone Cold Stunner on your ass.  And the poor overwhelmed official bought your act.

I might feel more sympathy for you, were you not making Arsene Wenger sound sensible.  The Gunners manager opined that equal punishment, be it yellow cards or red, was warranted and it’s difficult to argue that.

Not being able to dispute a Wengerism is bad.  This is the man who condemned Karl Henry and Ryan Shawcross for their reckless play and then did a three-sixty, cliché-ing that Jack Wilshere had merely “mistimed” his horror tackle on the ever-elusive Nikola Zigic.  This is also the guy who Jose Mourinho had to put in his place after he criticised the tactics of a manager who has won six trophies in the six years since the Frenchman last stood on the podium, manages a team in a country not named England and was trying to defeat a side which had recently and controversially given Arsenal the bum’s rush from the Champions League.  This man rubs people the wrong way without even trying.  When Arsene Wenger is in the right, the planet becomes unstable.

So, stop it, Joey.  Just stop.  Put down the keypad and slowly back away.

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With certain London matches already postponed due to the current civil unrest, it’s difficult to get too excited about the opening weekend of the Premier League season.  It took draconian measures to restore order to football stadiums in England, over two decades ago.  One can only hope that the same isn’t required for British society, as a whole.

So, in the hopes that cooler heads prevail….

There has been a lot of talk that the big four has expanded to a big six, including Tottenham and a resurgent Liverpool along with current powerhouses Manchester City, United, Chelsea and Arsenal.  Yet, to my mind, there has been a contraction.  Only three clubs, from where I sit, can be considered bona fide title contenders.  Another trio have an outside shot and three or four more may even be in the frame for Europe.  That is certainly far more quality than you’ll find in any other league, but there is still one less team hovering around that large piece of silverware with the pretty ribbons.

Here’s who I think rates, who doesn’t and why.

Sure Shots

Manchester United come into the new season with Sir Alex Ferguson taking a page from Arsene Wenger’s book.  Despite the hew and cry for the club to spend extravagantly on a creative midfielder, the consensus choice being Inter’s Wesley Sneijder, the Scot has refused to go over the top.  Instead, like his French counterpart, he has focused on recruiting youth.

Phil Jones has come in to add depth to the defence, with he and Chris Smalling the eventual heirs to Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic.  Ferdinand will likely be rested frequently this season in an effort to extend his career, but Smalling has shown some ability on the outside, as well.  Ergo, in the meanwhile, he may provide some cover for Rafael and Patrice Evra, now that John O’Shea and Wes Brown have moved on.

Ashley Young has been signed from Aston Villa to give Fergie three options, along with Nani and Antonio Valencia, on the wings.  David de Gea is the man between the sticks, looking capable, if, at twenty-one, not as consistent as Edwin van der Sar.  Finally, Danny Welbeck is back from Sunderland, and has been impressive in the pre-season, making people forget Javier Hernandez, who is still recovering from concussion.

In the center of the pitch, the concerns over Scholes’ absence may be unwarranted.  Tom Cleverley has stepped up his game this summer, suggesting that the club needn’t mortgage their future; it may have already arrived.

United may not be ready to topple Barcelona quite yet, but their current blend of experience and youth, across the board, indicates that the rest of Europe will still have to take a back seat.

Across town, Manchester City, have left themselves no outs.  Having spent — and spent again — to earn a Champions League berth and end a thirty-five year trophy drought with their FA Cup triumph in the spring, City went out and spent some more.  To be fair, splashing big on Sergio Kun Aguero was somewhat necessitated by captain Carlos Tevez’ repeated insistence on leaving.  Yet, another FA (or League) Cup won’t do, this year.  Nor will a second consecutive Champions League qualification.  City’s spending and progress now demand that they win the league.

Can they do it, however?  Well, when your strike force includes Aguero, Mario Balotelli, Edin Dzeko and, for the moment, Tevez, it would seem a possibility.  When David Silva is pulling the strings and might still be joined by Samir Nasri, hope grows.  With Yaya Toure and Nigel De Jong outmuscling and disrupting opposing midfields, it becomes a serious possibility.  Finally, with a defensive core of international quality running eight deep, in front of England’s number one, it might be worth putting down a few bob, just in case.

What’s missing?  First, they haven’t done it yet and the first time is always the most difficult.  Second, they do have the enviable dilemma of being too deep at virtually every position.  Tevez is not the only unhappy camper in the crowded clubhouse.  When you look at the roster, there will be an entire side, week in and week out, not selected but arguably strong enough to challenge for the title.  That can create problems.  Nevertheless, they are the type of problems that Roberto Mancini — or any other manager — would love to have.

Chelsea‘s perceived needs, off-season strategies and signings have been remarkably similar to United’s.  Youngsters on loan (Daniel Sturridge, Gael Kakuta) have been recalled, others signed (Oriol Romeu, Romelu Lukaku) and the cries for a creative midfielder have gone unanswered due to excessive market valuations (and a stubborn Harry Redknapp).

On the other hand, their big hole in midfield was brought about by yet another injury to Michael Essien, while the blue shirted version of Scholes, Frank Lampard, isn’t ready to call it a day just yet.  Also, unlike United, the Blues new goalkeeper, Thibaut Courtois (who has ironically replaced De Gea at Atletico Madrid), will have to wait a bit before taking over for Old Leatherhead, Petr Cech.  Finally, their new manager, while already steeped in trophies, is a young maverick rather than a legend in his own time.

With Luca Modric barred from his much desired move from White Hart Lane to Stamford Bridge, André Villas-Boas has been denied the trequartista he craves.  Yet, with a fortnight of the transfer window remaining, Roman Abramovich may still put pen to cheque — but even if he doesn’t, Chelsea can get by with the personnel in place, including Lampard, young Brazilian Ramires and homegrown sensation Josh MacEachran.

However, width is a problem.  Where United have splendid service in abundance, through Antonio Valencia, Nani and Ashley Young, Chelsea must try to fit square pegs Yossi Benayoun, Florent Malouda, Sturridge and Kakuta, into round holes.  As well, their defence, with an aging John Terry and want-away Alex, is not nearly as deep as either of their Manchester rivals.

If everything goes well for Chelsea, they are more than capable of reclaiming the title they lost to United last year.  However, if more injuries occur, Chelsea will soon find themselves holding off the next group of clubs for the final automatic Champions League place.

Dark Horses

Welcome to what may very well be Arsene Wenger’s final season at Arsenal.  The Frenchman has held the course despite six years of trophy-less football.  Gunners supporters, spoilt by Wenger’s past triumphs, most notably the exploits of the Invincibles, are growing increasingly restless.  That they have shown greater restraint than the general populace is commendable but the depths of their tolerance have been fully drained.  Excuses and rationale are no longer acceptable.  Now is the time to win.

Yet, it is now that Wenger has finally let Cesc Fabregas go to Barcelona and before he can shut the door again, Samir Nasri may dash off as well.  An already youthful side just became younger and now leaderless.    Wenger would like Thomas Vermaelen and Robin van Persie to step into that void, but neither has yet been able to remain healthy for a full season.

With the heart ripped out of the club, the manager would likely already be gone, despite his past record, were it not for the presence of Jack Wilshere.  The young Englishman has moved into the starting eleven for England, where Fabio Capello has touted him as a future captain.  He may soon be taking on that responsibility at the Emirates.  As well, Johan Djourou is a year older at the back, as is Kieran Gibbs.  Theo Walcott should be ready for an expanded role and Gervinho has come over from Lille to provide further width.  Welshman Aaron Ramsey is also healthy again, giving the club a veritable wealth of British first-teamers, for them, at three.

The two keys to the season will be whether or not Wenger can persuade Nasri to stay and if Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain can contribute immediately, reinforcing Wenger’s buy young and nurture policy.  Still, it’s difficult to see the Gunners doing more than challenging Chelsea for third, especially considering the early pressure of qualifying for the Champions League, with a difficult tie upcoming against Udinese.

Should he lose that match, the pressure on Wenger may become irresistible but the effort required to win may also take its toll in the stretch run of the season.

Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs have a big advantage over the four clubs above them in my pecking order:  they don’t have to compete in Europe this season.  Of course, by insisting upon keeping Luka Modric, who is very keen on some evening football in the midweek, Harry Redknapp may have erased that advantage completely.

The outspoken gaffer has taken a stand in order to prevent a mass exodus, refusing to sell the Croat, but how will that hard line affect the chemistry in the clubhouse?  Harry’s amazing ability to juggle four International strikers has ended — inevitably — with a loud clatter.  All four are falling about, crying to be let go.  Peter Crouch has a suitor in Stoke, although, as with Modric (if on a smaller scale), money is an obstacle.  Robbie Keane, on the other hand, has less takers than Gordon Brown at a charity bachelor auction.  Roman Pavyluchenko and Jermaine Defoe, meanwhile, are too intrinsic to Harry’s plans for him to even consider offers.

Every position is well stocked; with Niko Kranjcar, Rafael van der Vaart, Jermaine Jenas, Wilson Palacios, Tom Huddlestone, Danny Rose and the pleasantly surprising Sandro complementing Modric in the centre of the pitch; Aaron Lennon, Gareth Bale, Steven Pienaar and David Bentley man the wings;  the brittle Ledley King is supported by Michael Dawson, William Gallas, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Sebastien Bassong, Alan Hutton, Younes Kaboul, Vedran Corluka and Kyle Walker at the back; and Brad Friedel has arrived from Aston Villa should the butterfingered Huerelho Gomes slip again.

If the personable Redknapp can hold them all together, Spurs could be back in the Champions League in 2012.  The problem is that every time his best player picks up a paper or goes online, he sees a picture of the gaffer giving him the finger.

You know it’s a tough league when Liverpool, who have been more prolifically busy in the transfer window, in terms of both quality and quantity, than any other side, don’t rate better than the position they finished in last season:  sixth.  You would think that all that activity would have made them a much better squad and I believe it has.  The problem is that there is a massive gap between being the best of the rest, as they ultimately were last year, and a bona fide title contender.  

With the midfield completely revamped, it’s not even much of a concern that Steven Gerrard won’t be available until at least October.  Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam and Stewart Downing have all arrived to give Kenny Dalglish a selection migraine in the middle of the pitch, with the likes of Lucas Leiva, Alberto Aquilani, Dirk Kuyt, Raul Mereiles and Jay Spearing also in the mix.  Up front, as with everywhere else on the squad, there are any number of options, all centered around Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez, with Kuyt, Maxi Rodriguez and a healthy Gerrard also considerations.

The defence has been considerably strengthened by the recent addition of Newcastle left back Jose Enrique, allowing Glen Johnson to focus on the right side of the pitch and Martin Kelly to perhaps get some experience at centre back, spelling Jamie Carragher and Martin Skrtel.  Even in goal, where Pepe Reina is permanently installed, the club picked up some quality insurance in the form of erstwhile Roma keeper Doni.

Were it not for the time required to settle and become familiar with each other’s tendencies, I might put Liverpool a rung or two above their current position.  Certainly, if it comes together quickly, the Reds have the horses to race past Tottenham and Arsenal and draw neck and neck with old foes Chelsea.  If not, the Kop will just have to settle for a place in the Europa League.

Don’t Look Now, But…

If the pre-season ran until December and then the games which count finally began, Everton might be two-time defending Premier League champions under David Moyes.  Like jarheads at a Parris Island boot camp, the Toffees start off each season by digging a massive hole for themselves.

Yet, Moyes has quality at every position.  This season, there will be no African Cup of Nations or Asian Champions League to take players away.  There is Arsenal, however, doing their best to pry loose Phil Jagielka, as Man City did Joleon Lescott once upon a time, but Phil Neville still has it and Leighton Baines is only unlucky enough to be stuck behind Ashley Cole as the best English left back.  Seamus Coleman’s injury is another of those bad August omens for Moyes, however.

Ultimately, though, a midfield boasting one-time England hopeful Mikel Arteta, Marouane Fellaini and Jack Rodwell gives Everton the opportunity to take points everytime they take the pitch.  Imagine what this club could do if they got off to just an average start!

Bolton have three things holding them back:  a lack of funding to go out and sign a proven talent; a subsequent lack of depth; and a seemingly annual horror tackle which deprives them of American midfield prodigy Stuart Holden.   On the other hand, they have the coaching talents of Owen Coyle, which are sufficiently prodigious to cancel out two of the negatives.

The Scot’s motivational powers are unrivaled; it would almost be a crime to the rest of the Prem if he were put in charge of a club like City, United or Chelsea.  Still, Gary Cahill, Paul Robinson, Zat Knight, Martin Petrov, Nigel Reo-Coker and netminder Jussi Jaaskelainen are not a bad supporting cast for Holden.  Unfortunately, Korean Chung Yong-Lee’s own nightmare injury, at the end of July, was not the pre-season memory which Coyle wanted his side to take into the campaign.

If the club can stay relatively healthy, especially Holden (who currently is not), and the Scot can lay his hands on a goal scorer to replace Daniel Sturridge, the Wanderers will again be in the hunt for a Europa League slot.  Still, even if they do and Coyle can, the Trotters aren’t likely to bag their prize without some investment.

When compared with the Premier League elite, Fulham is a small club.  As such, they’d be hard pressed to find a better chairman than Mohamed al Fayed.  The former Harrod’s owner has provided the money to modernise and preserve the club’s longstanding home, Craven Cottage; he hires capable managers; buys them players when truly needed; and pays to keep them.  Despite Roy Hodgson leaving for Liverpool and Mark Hughes for pie in the sky, al Fayed has persevered.

Martin Jol is now the man in charge and the Egyptian has provided him with some new blood.  John Arne Riise has arrived from Rome to join his brother Bjorn Helge, providing the club with a dangerous threat from the left back position.  The club has a solid one-two punch in Bobby Zamora and Clint Dempsey; midfield reliability in Danny Murphy, Riise the younger, Damien Duff and Steve Sidwell; defensive stability in Aaron Hughes, Brede Hangeland, Carlos Salcido and, now, Riise the senior; and a world class goalkeeper in Mark Schwarzer, with a burgeoning international David Stockdale on loan to Ipswich, to give him playing time while the Aussie number one plays out the string.

Already a month into their Europa League campaign, their lack of depth will be challenged by involvement in four competitions, but make no mistake, this is a solid side.

Long ball specialists.  Cheap shot artists.  Ale house footballers.  Those are the labels Stoke City still live with, despite reaching the FA Cup final after giving Owen Coyle and Bolton a taste of their own silky smooth medicine.  Tony Pulis has patiently built on the solid defence, slowly adding more and more flair, as the base solidifies.

Kenwyne Jones, Jon Walters and Ricardo Fuller provide the goals.  Matthew Etherington has left the punting behind and is now almost a sure thing on the left.   Jermaine Pennant, as long as he is provided with valet service, will bring some imagination to the midfield, to complement the long throws of Rory Delap.  That unique advantage may be further augmented, if the Potters can come to terms with Tottenham regarding beanpole striker Peter Crouch.

Captain Ryan Shawcross, Matthew Upson and suddenly opportunistic goalscorer Robert Huth patrol the back.  Pulis is hoping that Jonathan Woodgate’s drawn out injury spell is finally done, so that he can provide further support for his two capable keepers, Asmir Begovic and Thomas Sorensen.

Look for the Potters to push a little further up the Premier League table, squeaking into the top ten in 2011-12.

Engines Idling

Sunderland picked up Wes Brown and John O’Shea from Man United to add some depth to the midfield and defence, as well as a bit of a winning culture.  So, why am I pegging Sunderland to slip back into the bottom half of the table in the new campaign?

Two reasons.

One, inexperience (Conor Wickham), chronic injury (Frazier Campbell) and character issues (Stéphane Sessègnon) in attack.  Asamoah Gyan was a great signing for the Mackems last year, but he can’t do it alone.

Two.  Steve Bruce is just too nice, especially when Man United fixtures roll around.  If some of predecessor and fellow United alumnus Roy Keane’s irascibility would rub off, other clubs might think twice when the Black Cats cross their path.  Until then, however….

One can, coincidentally, say two things about Sunderland rivals Newcastle as well.  Owner Mike Ashley certainly knows how to turn a profit and the club has replaced Arsenal as the favoured English destination for French footballers.

The impending sale of disaffected left back Jose Enrique to Liverpool recoups the investment in the latest Gallic window dressing at St. James Park, United cast-off Gabriel Obertan.  That makes seven French players on Alan Pardew’s roster, including Paris born Senegalese star Demba Ba, but not fluent francophone Cheick Tiote of the Ivory Coast.

Yet, while croissants may have been added to the player’s table at Newcastle’s Darsley Park training complex, the stream of quality players departing is not so easily addressed.  Enrique has tweeted his way out of the club but Joey Barton hasn’t been so lucky — not for lack of effort.  On the other hand, when your captain, coming off the best season of his young career (Kevin Nolan is still only twenty-nine) agrees to join a relegated club, it indicates there are problems behind the scenes.

Unfortunately for the Toon Army, Mike Ashley is in this for the long haul.  He and Derek Llambias have become adept at identifying young talent, improving upon it and selling at a surplus.  The club, barring a rash of injuries, has a competent coach and sufficient talent to hover in the middle of the table, staying up, but robbing their support of any and all hope for a bit of glory.

Modest.  In one word, that is West Brom manager Roy Hodgson.  Modesty can often be misinterpreted as lack of ambition, which is one reason he failed at Liverpool.  The Reds are a club that have a tradition of carrying the game to people.  Hodgson succeeds by taking the opposite approach.  It worked well at Fulham and it rescued the Baggies, who under Roberto di Matteo, were playing a style with which the Kop could identify.

WBA Chairman Jeremy Peace made the conscious decision to change the club’s style, which under Di Matteo and Tony Mowbray had seen them bouncing up and down between the Prem and the Championship.  Hodgson’s staid approach will achieve top flight stability; it just won’t take the Baggies anywhere but mid-table in the immediate future.

Hodgson has a prolific scorer in Peter Odemwingie but he has moved to provide cover in the form of Reading man Shane Long.  Last season, captain Chris Brunt was the most prolific assist man (10) of whom you have never heard in the Premier League, and West Brom, despite their adjusted priorities, should not want for goals.  At the back, Ben Foster has arrived on loan from troubled Birmingham.  He is a definite upgrade on Marton Fulop, and, under Hodgson, may soon find Fabio Capello pressuring him to reconsider his international sabbatical.

As well, the club has been convinced by Owen Hargreaves’ fitness tapes and have tabled an offer to the injury-hexed midfielder.  His healthy presence, if prolonged, may push the club into the top half of the table but, if you’re a Baggies fan,  don’t hold your breath.

The big question surrounding Alex McLeish is when he will take the Celtic job?   Having shown the willingness to jump from Birmingham to Aston Villa, upsetting all of Glasgow by crossing to the other side of the Old Firm seems the next logical step for the Scot.  For the moment, however, he is looking at his new squad and wondering, even without Ashley Young and Stewart Downing, what he might have done in 2010-11, had he been this blessed?

Charles N’Zogbia, over from Wigan, and Marc Albrighton, out of the Villa youth set-up, will make the departures of Young and Downing seem like well-timed, profitable business and, thus, Darren Bent and Gaby Agbonlahor should thrive in front of goal.  There are questions at the back, however, as Richard Dunne and James Collins, already slow, did not get any quicker over the summer.  As well, Shay Given will need to shake off the rust, after sitting on the Man City bench for so long.

Trust is the three hundred pound gorilla in the Villa clubhouse.  The fans don’t have any for McLeish, which begs the question, will the players?  Further, will McLeish himself be able to trust Stephen Ireland’s talent to overcome his dysfunctionality and will the new manager put the same trust in youngsters Barry Bannan and Eric Lichaj that Gerrard Houllier did?  At the moment, I don’t trust in any of that happening all too quickly.  Which is why I see such a talent-laden team remaining mired in mediocrity, despite the manager’s Carling Cup stunner last season.

In London, Neil Warnock has the full trust of the QPR clubhouse.  The problem is that the ownership of F1 bosses Bernie Ecclestone and Flavio Briatore doesn’t engender the same confidence.  Despite the lack of funding from above, with Blackpool’s DJ Campbell the only investment, at £2 million, the outspoken Warnock has gone about his business, signing Jay Bothroyd from Cardiff, and Danny Gabbidon and Kieron Dyer from West Ham (the latter by way of Ipswich), all on free transfers.  Somehow, the club has also managed to hold onto talented midfielder Adel Taraabt, despite interest from new money side Paris Saint-Germain.

That Warnock will have to compete with the rest of the Premier League on the cheap doesn’t bode well for future success but the current circumstances provide an environment in which the crafty Warnock can instill and exploit an Us v The World mentality in his squad.  In the short run, I’m betting that it will be just enough to lift them above the relegation fray.

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!

Blackburn‘s new owners, Venky’s, have taken a lot of stick since becoming part of the Premier League family and some people out there, afflicted with severe doses of PC, have taken exception.  The fact of the matter, however, is that no one really cares where the new Rovers supremos call home or how they made their fortune.  They hear it because they’ve thus far proved to be inept.

What else do you call it  when one executive, in India, says the club intend to become a top side, then another in the UK says, no, they’ll be happy to stay mid-table?  Next, someone pipes up that they’ve hired a consultant to identify, negotiate with and sign new players, starting with Ronaldinho, no less, with that whopper followed by someone else saying, don’t be silly, there’s no need to buy when you can just “outsource” from other clubs.  Hot on the heels of that piece of wisdom, the group let it be known that Mr. Sam — Big Sam Allardyce to you and me — would have the last say on all transfers.  A week later, Mr. Sam is in the booth for Sky instead of the dugout for Blackburn, very much to his surprise.

Now, Steve Kean is in charge and the club — safely mid-table and starting to gel when Big Sam was informed that he was just taking up space — is breathing easier after falling into the midst of a relegation battle and managing to pull themselves out at the last minute.

There’s little to suggest, however, that in his first full season, if he survives it, Kean will help the club progress.  Highly touted young defender Phil Jones has been sold on to Manchester United after some acrimonious hard-balling, which could very well hurt the club’s ability to do business down the road.  (Now, I realise that I’ve criticised Steve Bruce for kowtowing to the champions and Venky’s for getting in their face, but there is a middle ground between the two extremes.)   Envious of Jones, Chris Samba, the former captain, is as desperate as Kevin Nolan to leave his club and El Hadji Diouf has earned his way out by not showing up — but the club has signed David Goodwillie, who had charges of sexual assault dismissed for lack of evidence in Scotland, although leaked details of the case forced his departure.

To call the situation at Ewood Park anything other than a mess would be a kindness.  Look for the club to hover just above the drop zone for the better part of the season.

Roberto Martinez has managed to keep Hugo Rodallega, a quality goal scorer, at Wigan, and provide him a strong partner in Irishman Conor Sammon.  Unfortunately, the man most responsible for getting the ball into the opponent’s box, Charles N’Zogbia, is now wearing Claret and Blue.

The club has taken on the dogged determination of chairman Dave Whelan and plays the open attacking style favoured by classy manager Martinez, but WFC correspondent Daniel Doran may be right:  with too much quality leaving and insufficient coming in, it may finally be Wigan’s year to go back down.

On the other hand, I think that there’s enough stubborness and imagination in the tank for the Latics to stick around for another season.

Well then, What about Norwich?  Can they stay up?

Can Delia Smith and Michael Wynn-Jones, passionate and inspiring as they are, even come close to competing financially with the likes of John Henry, the Glazers, Roman Abramovich and Sheikh Mansour?  Can a squad whose only three players not from the UK or Ireland are an American, a Canadian and Belgian Ritchie de Laet, on loan from Man United, go toe to toe with even Manchester City’s reserve side?  Can Kyle Naughton, buried on the bench at Tottenham, hold off the likes of Andy Carroll, Chicharito or, on a slow day, Fernando Torres? Can James Vaughn make a difference here despite not doing so anywhere else, other than to coax Tony Pulis out of his towel and into a decent imitation of Zinedine Zidane?

Oh, wait.  That was James Beattie.  Ignore that one.  Answer this one instead.  Can Paul Lambert fight off male pattern baldness, graying hair and relegation all at the same time?

Didn’t think so.

I like Mick McCarthy’s dry sense of humour and his pragmatism.  Unfortunately, I don’t like Wolves‘ chances of avoiding the drop.  Like Norwich, there are just too many questions without answers.

Mick does have some quality with which to work, though.  Matt Jarvis is a bit of alright.  The three Steph/vens, Fletcher, Ward & Hunt, share some chemistry, as well as given names.  Ultimate poacher Kevin Doyle likely still has a few opportune goals in him, too.

On the other hand, one has to ask if former captain Karl Henry can find his way back from the dark side, after the first months of 2010-11 saw him approach Nigel de Jong status?  Then there’s the hyphen twins, Sylvan Ebanks-Blake and Ethan Ebanks-Landell.  What’s up with that?  I’m not certain, but it might be another expensive violation of the FA’s arcane squad rules.

The most pressing issue for the Wanderers, though, is can they take points against lower half sides?  They had better, because this time around it’s unlikely that they’ll steal six wins and three draws, more than half their points last year, from clubs in the top half of the table.

Aaaand  – Thud.

Brendan Rogers and Swansea were the surprise of the Championship playoffs.  Fellow Cwms Cardiff, with marquee names Jay Bothroyd and Craig Bellamy in the side, were pegged to make the jump to the top flight.  Instead, it’s their more anonymous rivals who are here.

Former Villa prodigy Luke Moore will get another crack at the Premier League, after sputtering out at West Brom.  A loan spell at Derby, with four goals in thirteen matches, suggested that his issues might be remedied by a move, but just three strikes in fifteen appearances for the Swans last season doesn’t bode well.  Danny Graham, who has come over from Watford, will be the main threat, then, and Wayne Routledge, from the St. James Park Clearing House is touted to provide a bit of width.

There are two weeks left in the transfer window and, while burnt by Marco Senna’s use of them as a decoy to secure a contract with Villareal, the Welsh side need to find a strong, experienced player to galvanise the side, or the Swans will be flying south all too soon.

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“Running a second-hand bookshop is a guaranteed commercial failure. It’s a whole philosophy. There were bookshops that I frequented and I was always struck by the loneliness and doggedness of these men who piloted this death ship.”

Dylan Moran.

This will make sense, trust me. Just let me untangle my children’s TV programmes from my adult comedy series. While I’m doing that here’s a secondary introduction, which segues WFC’s recent pieces on Sunderland’s latest captures and Man City’s lack of acquaintance with the term roster limit.

Steve Bruce’s side are quickly establishing themselves as something of a second-hand football club, with no less than 14 of their current squad signed from fellow Premier League clubs. Of these, five are ex-Manchester United players, with John O’Shea putting pen to paper most recently to join Wes Brown at The Stadium of Light. Oh, and their manager’s a former disciple of Sir Alex Ferguson, too.

Though I state, with a little help from Dylan Moran, that this sort of business is doomed to failure, it is nonetheless a sound tactic from a mid-table club like The Black Cats, for whom failure, in the middling sense of the word, is expected and only the ultimate failure of relegation feared. Premier League experience is both an immeasurable and invaluable quality.  So, if a few of Sunderland’s signings come from the same club it can only be a bonus – especially if that club has a habit of winning games, as United does.

However, while this strategy works for a team of Sunderland’s stature, it doesn’t do anything for a more ambitious side, such as Manchester City, whose aspirations will not be met using other people’s cast-offs.

Twelve of City’s current first-teamers were signed from a fellow Premier League side. Of these, only one has been an unqualified success.  Carlos Tevez not only claimed joint ownership of the Prem Golden Boot, his boundless energy and unbridled determination were so infectious that he was handed the captain’s armband, despite his well publicised differences with management.   While Ferguson will spin tales about the Argentine not being worth £30 million, or not having space for him in the United squad, Tevez’ performance at City suggests the failure to keep him was down to budgetary constraints brought on by the heavy debt accrued from the Glazers’ leveraged stewardship at Old Trafford.

Still, Tevez has begun his annual plea to move to a Latin country, for family reasons, and Brazilian giants Corinthians are interested to the tune of £35 million, so even he could be considered more of a burden than a boon in the long run.

What a club like City need are hungry young players on long-term contracts, wholly dedicated to the project, as Didier Drogba, Michael Essien and Ashley Cole were for Chelsea in the Londoners’ transition from up-and-coming yuppies to an established European force.

Whatever his situation though, Tevez can hardly be called a bad signing. I’m all for controversy and myth-bashing, but that would be a step too far even for me.  So, onto the other 11.

Emmanuel Adebayor is another who doesn’t seem to be too worried about the long-term project at Eastlands. He scored a very respectable 19 in 43, upon his signing from Arsenal, but after being shunted down the pecking order by the arrival of Tevez, Edin Dzeko and Mario Balotelli, decided he’d rather jump ship than stay and fight for his place. A successful loan spell at Real Madrid ensued, but it appears this may not become a permanent arrangement. He’s back at City but the odds of him lining up for Roberto Mancini against Swansea on 13 August are long indeed.

It was somewhat surprising to see Adebayor turn his back on City so quickly – after all, he was only twenty-five when he signed, and had played for three clubs in nine years. A mercenary perhaps, but hardly a journeyman.

Craig Bellamy, on the other hand, was always a risky acquisition. Seven clubs in thirteen years tells its own story, and he was already twenty-nine when Mark Hughes paid £14 million for his services. A year and a half later, the Welshman had fallen out with yet another manager and was moved to Cardiff, in the Championship. Again, he’s a good player and will no doubt be a decent signing wherever he goes but he’s not someone who can be relied upon to stick around or, consequentially to provide stability.

Spending a paragraph on every player will (a) take me a long time to write, (b) take you a long time to read, and (c) get very boring. So, here’s a bullet list summarising the rest:

• Shay Given: Overrated and supplanted by a young comer in a position where experience is valued.
• Joleon Lescott: Signed for his goals, not his defending. Quite rightly a backup.
• Gareth Barry: Not nearly as good as Nigel De Jong or Yaya Toure. Signed for his Englishness.
• James Milner: Adaptable, but this is his downfall.  Cover for all positions, holder of none.
• Kolo Toure: By comparison, makes Vincent Kompany look like Sol Campbell.
• Shaun Wright-Phillips: I’ll leave this one to you, it’s easy.
• Stuart Taylor: Who? Why?
• Roque Santa Cruz: Good for Paraguay but cack for City. Always injured, or so he says.
• Wayne Bridge: Please.
• Gael Clichy: An improvement on Bridge, but cracks under pressure.

The interesting thing about City’s Arsenal reject club (Ade, Toure & Clichy) is that Wenger was happy to let them all go.  Toure was so worried without Sol Campbell to guide him through games that he resorted to illegal diet pills to keep his weight down and his pace up,  Adebayor had grown too big for his boots and you can read my thoughts on Gael Clichy’s loose grasp of the offside trap here. Clichy is a debatable recruitment, in any case, as £16 million was paid for Aleksandar Kolarov, the Serbian already has Pablo Zabaleta for cover and the club seems unwilling to entertain Bayern Munich’s offer for the damaged Jerome Boateng.

In fact, the only players on the list who were signed against the wishes of their club were Aston Villa pair, Barry and Milner, Lescott, who Everton don’t seem to be missing too much nowadays, and Given, who’s now on the bench every week.

The others had all been more-or-less thrown into the reject bin before City came sniffing – and there we go.  Dylan Moran is right.  While saving our pennies by shopping for secondhand goods may help you, I and Steve Bruce get through life, City won’t build a consistent winner if they continue to spend top dollar for low quality.

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You would think that the old saying once burned, twice shy applies to the relationship between Arsenal and Barcelona but apparently it doesn’t translate well into Catalan.  Admittedly, it’s been almost a decade since Arsene Wenger swooped into La Masia and flew off with sixteen-year-old Cesc Fabregas under his wing.  But now it seems that he may have taken heed of another oft-used homily; the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

A year ago, Wenger held the line and refused to let Fabregas return to Barcelona despite an alleged £40 million offer from Blaugrana President Sandro Rosell.  This summer, the harsh effects of the economy have made Rosell reluctant to part with so much cash.  Still, pride has led him to put a different face on matters; in the face of the Catalans’ well publicised debt, he is alleging that Fabregas is no longer worth that amount.  I’m not sure which Premier League the Barça boss was watching, but the one I saw contained an Arsenal captain who, when healthy, displayed leadership, poise and a completely polished game.  If you can’t afford him anymore, Señor Rosell, just hold up your hands and admit it.

So, despite the Gunners remaining unwilling to sell Cesc and Barcelona seemingly too skint to buy him, Wenger decided to hedge his bets by raiding the Catalan chicken coop again, this time absconding with sixteen-year-old fullback Hector Bellerin and like aged midfielder Jon Toral.

Bellerin has signed for the same reasons that Fabregas did.

“When you want to be a professional, you have to look to make your way. And I believe the right path for me was to choose Arsenal…When there is a team that guarantees you can play in the first team and, above all, in the Premier League, then it is very difficult to say no.”

No kidding.  It also helps that Arsenal’s system is very similar to Barcelona’s.  For the young player, it was obviously an easy decision to make.  He has moved to a club that is not much less talented than his own but also faces much stronger opposition week in and week out, offering him an easier path to the senior squad and an opportunity to continue improving rapidly in a very competitive environment once he arrives.

The question is was the deal truly a coup on the level of the Fabregas deal, as a tabloid press starved for hard news in the dog days of summer would have us believe?

From a Barcelona perspective, even nine years later, the sting of letting Cesc go and then lacking the funds to reacquire him has to be so frustrating that they’d hesitate to make the same mistake with not just one but two other youngsters.  As well, the acrimony from this season’s Champions League quarter-final second leg should have made both clubs wary of the other in any dealings so soon afterwards.

When signed, Toral, who is of Spanish and English parentage, did not cause such a clamour because of his size.  He is 6′ 3″ and his more physical approach to the game does not fit into Barça’s tick-a-tack system.

Bellerin, though, was a different story.  Very much in the mode of Dani Alves, he loves to venture forward and poach in the opponent’s box.  The effect of his decision to move to Arsenal became apparent  when he was immediately made persona non grata at the Blaugrana training grounds.  Arsenal best be warned, however.  Like Fabregas before him, Bellerin has stated that he would like to return to the Camp Nou in the future.

In the interim, an unhappy Barcelona will only realise the bare minimum £350,000 for each player, as required by FIFA regulations.  Consequently, they are now demanding that Arsenal knock the players’ true value off the asking price for Fabregas.  As Wenger hits the replay button on the ridiculous sending off of Robin van Persie in the Champions League for the umpteenth time, wondering what might have been, he must be chuckling at the mere thought of such a discount and thinking of a third proverb.

There is no honour amongst thieves.

Showing No Merson

As a fan of League One side Walsall, I’ve never been a huge admirer of Paul Merson, despite his sometimes brilliant displays for Arsenal and Portsmouth. To me, he marred his reputation with the Saddlers when he took the club down from its lofty perch of Championship mediocrity into the abyss of League Two.

Away from football, Merson also fought a gambling addiction during his tenure, which added to a previous history of alcohol and drug addiction. Which, despite my prejudices, is what makes his interview with French magazine So Foot all the more fascinating.

In the same week that cycling’s doping routines for the Tour de France came under fierce scrutiny, Merson claims that Arsene Wenger doped his players for competitive advantage.

“I never asked myself any questions. From the moment where you trust a manager, you take everything he asks you to. Sometimes, on the eve of big games, we would go to a Holiday Inn in Islington where a yellowy product was injected into our arm. In comparison to what I had put in my system, nothing would have scared me.”

Cue the angry response from Arsene Wenger:

“I cannot take that comment seriously.  I don’t know how many players have played here over 15 years, 200 maybe. Some of them stayed for 10 years. Paul Merson stayed with me for four months, so I think it is better you ask people who have played for five, six, seven, eight, nine years here how we behave medically.  If we give them something, it is multi-vitamins, magnesium, calcium or vitamin C like everybody else. Every year we have at least 20 doping controls. In 15 years we have not had one positive control. You think, really, I try to dope?  It is absolutely ridiculous to put any suspicion on the way we treat the players and respect the players’ health.”

Merson and Gazza, in their Boro days, endorsing their own version of Gatorade.

Coming from Merson, a man who played under Wenger what was actually six months, this does seem strange. Why would such an allegation take so long to come out?

Then again, this might also be the continuation of a personal feud. Wenger is well-known as a man who took fitness and conditioning very seriously, to the extent where his players followed the strict diet regimes that are now the norm. With Merson’s history, it’s entirely possible that the Frenchman’s insistence on a less celebratory lifestyle may have caused friction between the two.

Still, to accuse one of the English game’s most revered men of doping his players, seemingly without foundation, goes a bit far.

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Abidal Boosts Barcelona

One of the more heart-warming stories this week was the return of Eric Abidal to Barcelona’s starting line-up. Having suffered a liver tumour just a couple of months back, it’s great to see the French left-back fit and healthy. For the Catalan club, it’s even better to have him back on duty, especially given their recent defensive injuries. With Pep Guardiola gunning for yet another trophy soon at Wembley, the comeback may well be perfectly timed.

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Lille 1-0 PSG

While it was the result expected from league leaders Lille, in the Cup Final, it did not arrive in the expected fashion.  The winner came courtesy of an error by Gregory Coupet. As substitute Ludovic Obraniak lined up a 90th minute free-kick from the right touchline, everybody expected a cross.

As the ball floated towards goal instead, PSG goalkeeper Coupet was convinced the ball would sail over his goal, giving a cursory glance to the ball’s path and not even bothering to move.  When the ball dipped in as though it had been sent by former Ligue 1 standout Ronaldhino, Coupet could only gaze on in despair and gesture forlornly to his teammates, knowing he had cost them any chance of winning their eighth Coupe de France.

The 37-year-old netminder’s regression has left his opportunities decidedly limited, even given the too frequent errors of his young replacement Apoula Edel. Error-strewn goalkeeping has plagued PSG’s title bid this season, reducing them to European contention.

In contrast to Coupet’s dejection, Lille’s part-time winger Obraniak was ecstatic, full in the knowledge that he had made the ultimate impact on his side, as Lille won its first Cup in 57 years. The chance to repeat the double achieved in 1954 will come against Sochaux, and it’s a challenge they will now relish, despite the impressive form of the Sochaliens.

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Ligue 1 round-up

Over to Ligue 1, where Les Dogues received even more good news.

Lorient 2-2 Marseille

Lorient’s front line continued to dazzle the league with a draw against the reigning champions, who, as a result, may soon suffer the loss of their crown.  After Loic Remy’s opener for OM, Kevin Gameiro won a corner which defender Lamine Kone converted.

Gameiro himself then scored his 21st of the season, ably assisted by strike partner Morgan Amalfitano. Andre-Pierre Gignac’s late equaliser was only enough to bring the gap with Lille to three points, but the leaders have a game in hand, to be played tomorrow against Sochaux. If Les Dogues win that, the title is all but won.

Brest 1-1 Lyon

Meanwhile, Lyon have lost any hope they harboured of getting automatic qualification for the Champions League after a disappointing draw at Brest.

St Etienne 1-2 Rennes

Rennes got their first win in 10 attempts to tighten their grip on the European places. Not even a wonderful goal from Bakary Sako, who curled a corner directly into the net, could save St Etienne.

Nancy 3-0 Nice

Near the bottom, Nancy claimed an emphatic and vital win, leapfrogging Nice, who were left to fend off Monaco and Lens….

Monaco 1-1 Lens

…who, in turn played out a draw which left Lens relegated with Arles but dragged Monaco right back into the dogfight, thanks to defender Raphael Varane’s second goal in as many games. The 18-year-old’s stock continues to rise.

Arles 1-0 Toulouse

This match was less notable for former Hull striker Kamel Ghilas’ winner for the home side than it was for Arles managing to double their win total for the season in Round thirty-six.  Here’s a team which could really use the services of Avram Grant.

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Next week, I’ll be rounding up the mid-week ties of PSG and Lille, and seeing how they do in their rematch, and potential title decider, on Saturday. Until then, stay away from those yellow pills. Au revoir!

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AC Milan wrapped up the Scudetto on Saturday, with a goalless draw against AS Roma, and turned their attention to the Coppa d’Italia, where they’re locked in a desperate battle with Palermo.  The second leg takes place at the Renzo Barberi and if Milan can’t overcome the away goals rule, Delio Rossi will have the rare opportunity to win a trophy with a club after they had sacked him earlier in the season.

Rosaneri chairman Maurizio Zamparini is nothing if not a character, but I’ve strayed off the path here.  You’re wondering what Arsene Wenger has to do with all this.

Well, it’s another character, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, that just might be the tonic which the Gunners require.  Even before Wenger’s wunderkinds began their almost seven season exile in the Alsoran Desert, the tall Swede had begun wandering across Europe on an eight year journey.  He was with Ajax of Amsterdam when they last won the title, moved on to Juventus, then Inter, Barcelona and finally Milan.  Along the way, he never failed to finish top of the table.  One player, five clubs, eight championships.

Naturally, some of you are already pointing to the middle of that last sentence.  It’s true that Ibra has only just started to learn that there is no ‘I’ in team, after his less than wondrous turn with Barça.  In his defence, there is an ‘m’ and an ‘e’ in the word.  The big Z has always done well focusing on the ‘me’ and while he has begun to experiment with ‘we’ during this campaign, he hasn’t strayed too far from himself.

The forward-slash-martial arts enthusiast has already had two encounters with teammates on the year, drop kicking Robinho on the pitch to celebrate a goal and trying the same, on the training ground, with the bigger, much angrier Oguchi Onweyu.  As well, Ibra has let his temper get the better of him to the extent that his teammates have had to do without him in five matches this season for disciplinary reasons.

Still, his statements after the Roma match suggest that he has some grasp of the theory of group effort.

“We have overcome difficult times. I am saddened to have missed five games through suspension. Now we hope to win on Tuesday and then celebrate with our fans next weekend.  We are really motivated to reach the Coppa Italia final.  We will have time to celebrate the league title with our fans next weekend. Right now our focus is on the match at Palermo.  I think the key to us winning the title is that we’ve had the strength to change our style of play so many times. We have all contributed to this success, it has been a team effort all throughout the season.”

For those of you who forgot to count, that was six ‘we’s, four ‘our’s, only two ‘I’s and a ‘team effort’ to top it off.   Certainly progress from the days when he was almost as much a pain in Jose Mourinho’s backside as Mario Balotelli.

Unfortunately, there are still some rough edges.

“We are a great team. Even when I didn’t play, the team won.”

Sometimes the ego just slips in there all on its own.  I’m sure he’ll keep working on it.

Here’s the thing, though.  Whether you think that Arsenal really need to get some toughness up the middle of the pitch instead of yet another finisher or that Wenger would find Ibra both too old and far too self-centered, the bottom line is that the man wins wherever he goes.  He sat on the bench most of the time for Barcelona and still won.  For all the fuss about his style not matching the Blaugrana, he did contribute some important goals while he was there.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic may not improve Arsenal’s attack and he certainly won’t do anything at the back or in the clubhouse, yet he simply doesn’t know how to lose.   Despite all his shortcomings, the man is an eight time league champion on the trot.  He’s like Nicklas Bendtner with results.  If he comes to the Emirates, he will drag Cesc Fabregas, Robin van Persie, Theo Walcott, Samir Nasri and Andrei Arshavin kicking and screaming to the Premiership title.  Tactics and chemistry matter nought.  Chelsea, Man United and City are immaterial.  The last eight years say it’s inevitable.

It may go against all reason but Arsene Wenger has tried everything within his scope of reason and Arsenal are still losers.  Maybe it’s time to think outside the box.  After seven dry years, way outside the box.

I say pull out all the stops and sign him, Gunners fans.  Who’s with me?!

Next season will see departures and arrivals, hopefully in the key positions for which the civilised world has been crying out.  Nicklas Bendtner and Denilson surely must be first to go.  Tomas Rosicky has not been the player Wenger saw at Dortmund and Andrei Arshavin seems unsettled. Samir Nasri, Cesc Fabregas (assuming he stays), Thomas Vermaelen, Jack Wilshere, Theo Walcott, and Robin Van Persie will provide sufficient attacking flair to trouble the best of defences, and there will be reinforcements up front. Wenger will surely invest in his defence, but will that change anything?

Wenger's philosophy is so set in stone that whenever it's criticised he reacts as though someone has placed a gun to his head.

If Arsene Wenger’s interviews have told us anything these past years, it is that he is unwilling to recognise a flaw in his footballing philosophy. Yet, to everyone else, especially Manchester United and Chelsea, the flaw is self-evident. Even if a Phillippe Mexes, Mamadou Sakho or Giorgio Chiellini arrives at the Emirates in the summer, the football philosophy at Arsenal is unlikely to change. Any Arsenal centre-half will find himself as isolated as Sebastien Squillaci, Laurent Koscielny and Johan Djourou have so often been this year. The problems at set-pieces will continue so long as Arsenal are physically inferior to their opponents and unwilling to make up for their deficiency through organisation and aggression.

So, new signings will be a big step, but not the key step. Hope for a change in the coaching staff.  Pat Rice’s replacement will be crucial. Ultimately, however, the real difference must occur within the mind of Arsene Wenger. Can he see the problem and can he reconcile the realities of football with his vision of the beautiful game?

If he cannot, then the Gunners’ trophy drought will continue a while longer.

Against a squad that couldn’t hold back a severely weakened Man United or the offensive powerhouse that is Roy Hodgson’s West Bromwich Albion, surely an attack force which includes Luis Suarez, Andy Carroll, Raul Mereiles and Dirk Kuyt should be set loose, shouldn’t it?  Then again, Arsene Wenger’s side couldn’t find a way through Blackburn Rovers.  So, maybe the King knows what he is doing.

Given the opportunity, Arsenal came at Liverpool in waves but the wall held.  Lucas Leiva played masterfully in the holding role, while Jamie Carragher was at his nasty best.  With a full complement of weapons at their disposal, however, it was no surprise that Lucas and Carra’s efforts weren’t always sufficient.  As the Reds dropped back, the Gunners rearguard became emboldened and, along with Theo Walcott and Robin van Persie, Abou Diaby and Laurent Koscielny joined the barrage.

Sorry, the Red Devils made me do it...

Ultimately, it was the man whom Dalglish so staunchly defended this week who barred the door.  Pepe Reina was inhuman in goal and when he was finally beaten, on Koscielny’s blast, the bar had his back.  There was no way, not on this day, that anything was going to get behind him during the run of play.  It’s no wonder, then, that Arsenal made a £23 million offer for the Spanish keeper last summer and even less surprising that Liverpool said thanks but no thanks.

“I can’t speak for how he believes it is going. I can only tell you about how I personally, and the club as a whole, feels about him. Whatever he feels about us going in the right direction is up to him – but he doesn’t look too unhappy to me.”

For those who think that Reina may be suffering from a mild case of Nando-itis, the manager’s respectful words regarding his number one seem to have been appreciated, if Sunday’s performance was any indication.  Yet, more such efforts will be needed in the immediate future, as the Football Gods have not finished toying with the Reds.  Twenty minutes in, Fabio Aurelio limped off, apparently having re-injured his hamstring.  Then, in the second half, Carragher was knocked silly in a collision with young Liverpool full back John Flanagan.  After a long spell, in which he was not able to clear the cob-webs, he was taken off.  Other than taking out the heart of his own defence, Flanagan, along with Aurelio’s replacement, Jack Robinson – no jokes please, no matter how fast you can say them – played fairly well, offering up further testament to Dalglish’s work with the youth squad before taking over the senior team.

Concussions aren’t a good thing and, whether it kills the match or not, the officials were well advised to give the physios all the time they needed with Carra.  Typical of the man, he announced afterwards that he was fine, although he still didn’t remember the collision, and would be ready for Birmingham next week. While a player may know his body, the brain is another matter and it will be best to wait for the doctors to endorse the gritty centre back’s self-diagnosis.

Regardless of Carragher’s availability, it will be a challenge for Liverpool in the run-in, as players continue to drop like flies.  To make it even more difficult, the injury bug is moving further up in the formation.  Not only is Steven Gerrard done for the year after groin surgery, Andy Carroll went down awkwardly after contesting an aerial ball and limped off after gamely trying to soldier on for several minutes.

If Carroll is out for any amount of time, no doubt Dalglish will look to the other half of his January investment, Luis Suarez, to fill the gap.  The Uruguayan has been playing well, even if he isn’t scoring, although he came close a few times at the Emirates.  He is finding and taking good shots too frequently for them to not start hitting home soon.  Carroll’s unhappy accident may lead the Reds back to their most fluid point of the season, as well.  Before the Geordie’s height was added to the equation, Liverpool were passing and moving far more than they have in the interim, wherein, they’ve perhaps too often looked to send long balls towards their £35 million target.

The important thing, on this weekend, was that a ragtag bunch of Reds were able to hold off the Gunners for well over ninety minutes.  With Carragher’s injury causing so much concern, referee André Marriner added eight minutes of stoppage time.  That was almost gone when Jay Spearing offered out his leg for Cesc Fabregas to tumble over.  Van Persie quickly dispatched the penalty and it seemed that an amazingly gutsy defensive performance had all been for naught.

Marriner was apparently sympathetic, however, and four more minutes ticked off before Emmanuel Eboue shoved Lucas down in the box during the aftermath of a Suarez set-piece.  An incensed Arsene Wenger could only watch in frustration as Dirk Kuyt stepped up and leveled the match with Marriner holding the final whistle to his lips.  Afterwards, the Frenchman had several unkind words for Dalglish before summing up his feelings more cogently to the media.

“We conceded a penalty after 11 minutes when the referee said there was eight minutes of injury time. I don’t see where those three minutes came from and it was no penalty.”

... But, at any rate, it has been Dalglish who has played the hero at Anfield.

It’s difficult not to sympathise with Wenger, considering that the Gunners’ hopes of catching United were dealt a serious blow.  He must have been asking Dalglish exactly how the Liverpool boss rates Fergie Time, given his long hiatus away from the game.  For his part, Dalglish showed his class by refusing to reveal the nature of their animated post match conversation.

Further, when asked if he was saddened that he may have just helped hated United pass by Liverpool for their nineteenth top-flight crown, he was equally noble in his reply.

“Sadness? In my eyes we are still the best club in English football, if not world football, so I am not very sad at that. The surprise is that [Liverpool] have not won the title for a long time – that is the surprise. But it’s not sadness; it’s just a fact of life.”

King Kenny may have humbly shrugged off a movement by a group of Hillsborough families to petition a knighthood for the man who has championed their cause for so long but he has once again shown that nobility is not found in a title but in your blood.

Stephen Brandt and Martin Palazzotto each contributed to this article.

For the first time in three years, there will be only one Mexican finalist in the competition, with their opponent Real Salt Lake also marking the return of MLS to the final after an eleven year absence.  In fact, Primera División sides have dominated the tournament to such an extent that only twice in that period, when the LA Galaxy defeated Olimpia of Honduras in 2000 and for the all-Costa Rican final between Alajuelense and Saprissa in 2004, have they not been involved.  However, what is an old hat for the Mexican League is a new frontier for its reigning Apertura Champions, Monterrey.  This will be their first CONCACAF final, whether it be the Champions Cup or League in the competition’s fifty year history.  On the other hand, this is only Real Salt Lake’s eighth year of existence and one would have to say they’ve done quite well to win an MLS title and reach the regional championship in so short a time.

If the semi-finals are any indication, this will be a hard-fought final. Here’s a recap of the second legs which saw RSL and the Rayados through to the final.

Cruz Azul 1 ( 2 – 3 ) 1 Monterrey

@ Stadio Azul, Mexico City

Wednesday 6 April, 2011

If Arsenal wore a blue kit and spoke Spanish as a first language, they’d be Cruz Azul and Arsene Wenger would be Enrique Meza.  The Mexican powerhouse are going through a spell wherein they’ve managed to maintain their day-to-day standard of excellence within the Primera División but have come up short when it matters most.  In the past three and a half years, they have reached a two-legged final, either domestically or in the CCL, and lost every time.  After their latest such defeat, this week, Meza did a remarkably good impression of his Premier League counterpart during the post-match interviews.

“I know that the fans are disappointed and our opponents have begun to make fun of us. But I tell my players that we have to remain calm because based on the law of probability we will be champions. Furthermore, we’ve done things well, now it’s about having patience and waiting for that moment.”

The law of probability is one excuse that I haven’t heard Wenger use yet but if you come across it in the next few weeks, you’ll know he’s a fan of the Mexican League.

Meanwhile, Meza probably has some reason to feel hard done by after La Maquina’s latest setback.  Having lost at the Tecnologico 2-1 in the opening leg, things were looking up at home when Carlos Villaluz struck in the twenty-third minute.  The ear-splitting train whistle which sounds after every home goal in the Colonia Ciudad de los Deportes, let loose at full blast.  The goal leveled the aggregate but Azul’s away goal would see them through if they could make the score hold up.  It certainly looked as though it would until the clock had run off all but ten minutes.  At that moment, with Monterrey pressing, Waldo Ponce gently nudged Rayado centre back Jose Maria Basanta in the back.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t sufficiently gentle for referee Francisco Chacon to ignore and he immediately pointed to the spot.

For Ponce, there would be no brotherly love, as his Chilean compatriot Humberto Suarez buried the PK and put Monterrey through to the final.  Cruz Azul can only focus on the Clausura playoffs, for which they are comfortably positioned with six rounds remaining in that tournament.  Monterrey are also doing well in that competition but their focus will now turn to a very strong Real Salt Lake squad.

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Deportivo Saprissa 2 ( 2 – 3 ) 1 Real Salt Lake

@ Estadio Ricardo Saprissa Aymá

Tuesday 5 April, 2011

Estadio Ricardo Saprissa is not nearly so large as the Maracana or the Azteca, two of the greatest football stadiums in the Western Hemisphere.  It holds less than a third of the San Siro’s capacity and just under half the seats in the Mestalla, two of Europe’s most imposing venues.  Yet, any visiting player will tell you that 24,000 Costa Ricans in full song, accompanied by thundering drums and stamping feet, can match the noise and intimidation levels of any fortress in the world.

Sitting in the tiny clubhouse before a match, or at the intermission is akin to waiting out a 9.5 on the Richter earthquake at the bottom of a mine shaft.  The noise is deafening, the walls shake and you cannot hear your nearest teammate ask you to speak to his family if he doesn’t make it out.  And it only gets worse when you take to the pitch.  With that in mind, Real Salt Lake’s 2-0 advantage coming into the second leg of their semi-final wasn’t as much a comfort as it might seem otherwise.

Jason Kreis’ side is known for its stalwart defence and grim determination, however, and they managed to keep the first half of the encounter goalless.  Saprissa came out in the second half with renewed purpose, though, and, before the Americans could settle in, struck for a goal to half their deficit.  Luis Cordero beat Nick Rimando from distance with a left-footed cannon which truly brought the home fans into the match.  As the pressure mounted, RSL held on, until, on the hour, Jamison Olave enjoyed a moment of serendipity.  In the right place at the right time, the Colombian defender thundered a loose ball into the roof of Victor Bolivar’s goal.  The ball had found him from a corner piece, after Victor Cordero deflected Nat Borcher’s header.

RSL nearly put the game away shortly thereafter, through a one-on-one break by Captain Dread, Kyle Beckerman, but Bolivar made a fine save to keep Saprissa’s hopes alive.  After fending off a couple of near misses, the MLS side were made to sweat when Alonso Solis converted an eighty-seventh minute penalty.  In reality, though, Saprissa would have needed two strikes to advance after being shut out in the first leg and the Americans were far too disciplined to permit that.

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The Final

It’s difficult to predict a winner in this final.  Monterrey will obviously look to set the tone in the first leg at the Tecnólogico, before facing the 4800′ altitude in Utah.  Yet as strong as their attack is, spearheaded by Humberto Suazo, it will have to find a way through the brick wall that is the RSL defence.  Olave is the reigning MLS Defender of the Year, obviously has a nose for goal and enjoys a strong partnership with Nat Borchers.  In front of them, Beckerman provides excellent support, as well as distribution to a dangerous attack which includes Fabio Espindola, Javy Morales, Arturo Alvarez  and Álvaro Saborio.

Prediction: Until their CONCACAF dominance is brought to an end, the Primera División has to be considered the stronger league but its soft spot is in defence and Jason Kreis has forged a very balanced squad, which can run over lesser opposition and be deadly on the counter against their equals or betters.  With the final leg on home soil, I’m going to go with my cultural bias and say RSL 3 – 2 Monterrey.

Both men had good reason – which we’ll delve into a bit later – to be disappointed in the performances of the match officials and its understandable that they might express their frustrations.  However, the powers that be take a dim view of such expression and usually act quickly to punish those who speak out.  That, too, is understandable.

In Ferguson’s case, despite the fact that Atkinson’s performance in the Chelsea match was questionable, the United manager went too far and then offered up what can only be called a pathetic defence of his remarks, claiming that the FA and the media were misconstruing what he meant by the word fair.  It was reminiscent of former US President Bill Clinton’s claim to the Starr Commission, that the truth of his testimony that he had not had sex with page Monica Lewinsky hinged upon one’s definition of the word ‘is’.

“You want a fair ref, you know, and you want a strong ref, anyway, and we didn’t get that.” – The line which sticks in the FA’s craw

Ferguson insists that he was saying that United did not get a “strong” official in Atkinson and that he was not suggesting that the referee was unfair.  Regardless of whether that is accurate, the quote is forthright in its condemnation of Atkinson’s overall ability and that cannot be acceptable to the league.

No competition can leave its officials twisting in the wind or they will have a similar situation to the one the SPL endured in December.  On the other hand, when the FA and UEFA refuse to allow any public criticism of referees, the result is the same lack of public confidence in their abilities, which can, despite the best intentions, lead to disaster.

Referees, as I’ve said on numerous occasions, are human.  Just as no player has ever played a completely mistake-free match, no referee will ever see every foul or make the correct call on every occasion.  It is completely un’fair’ to expect them to do so.

Yet, when one of Fergie’s lads makes a grievous error, he is sure to receive the infamous hairdryer treatment and, as most footy fans will tell you, rightly so.  Martin Atkinson, of course, doesn’t play for United and so it is not within Fergie’s right to discipline him.  But shouldn’t it be his right, when aggrieved, to see that discipline has been meted out or to, within reason, suggest that it should be?

The problem with Atkinson’s performance in the Chelsea match, to my mind at least, is not that he missed a call or two.  It’s that he made two very opposite decisions when presented with essentially the same play, in the same match.  David Luiz brought down Wayne Rooney, denying him a sure goalscoring opportunity but escaped punishment.  Yet when Yuri Zhirkov went down rather easily when Chris Smalling stuck out a leg, Frank Lampard was gifted the penalty kick which decided the match.  Imagine going into a shoe store to try on a pair of the latest red Adidas trainers and, satisfied with them, asking the clerk for a second pair in blue.  If he or she brings you back a pair of six-inch stiletto heels in black leather, wouldn’t you think further training might be in order?

Van Persie's plea, ironically, fell upon deaf ears.

Arsene Wenger might be thinking the same thing about Italian referee Massimo Busacca, who sent Robin van Persie off for kicking the ball one second after the whistle had blown.  Such a decision, while technically within the rules, is not the one which any fan of the game wishes to see kill off a thrilling Champions League encounter between two talented, imaginative sides.

Wenger denies making any remarks of a personal nature to the referee, yet the Italian seems to think he was insulted during Wenger’s tirade. The Gunners’ boss, it has just been announced, escaped any serious punishment, receiving just a one-match ban, as there were no microphones or cameras recording the incident and it had become a case of one man’s word against another’s.  Yet, we will never know if anyone at UEFA has taken Signore Busacca aside and said, “Listen mate, it’s no wonder Wenger was pissed.  We’re in the business of entertaining soccer fans, not punishing players for not hearing a whistle with 90,000 Catalans screaming in their ears.”

Stoke manager Tony Pulis’ suggestion that referees should be subjected to relegation is imaginative if overblown.  Certainly, they should not be competing against each other in order to keep their jobs.  Nor should every mistake they make be held up to the light.  Yet, there is no reason that their over-all performance cannot be judged and, when appropriate, rewarded.  As the FA has a Player of the Year Award and a Manager of the Year, why not a Referee of the Year?

Association and federation officials have taken the concept of respecting officials too far by making them immune to any and all criticism.  Their imperfections are inevitable but that doesn’t mean that they should be glossed over.  It would be much better to acknowledge and correct them in a more transparent manner.  If UEFA, the FA and all the rest were openly and constructively critical of their officials, then – and only then – would players, managers and club officials have no reason to take matters into their own mouths.

Just for this week, I thought I’d talk about the 21st club in Ligue 1, Arsene Wenger’s Gunners.  Arsenal’s season has, once again, fallen apart very quickly. Many, including myself, thought this would be the season that they would finally reclaim some semblance of the glory days of the noughties. After being dumped out of the FA Cup on Saturday at the hands of Manchester United, however, they have only the league left to fight.

Yet, fight they will. The media have been quick to sensationalise Arsenal’s losses as a signal of their fading title tilt, whilst forgetting that they are only 3 points behind United with a game in hand. Now, I think most people would agree that no-one has really ‘deserved’ the league, as yet, this season. By that I mean no one has exhibited sufficient dominance to lay an outright claim to the title, something also seen in France’s Ligue 1. In England’s lower leagues, QPR, Brighton and Chesterfield all have firm grips on their respective titles, although QPR’s is beginning to look a bit tenuous.

The cold comfort of being knocked out of the cup competitions and Europe is that the Gunners will now have all the rest that an increasingly banged up squad could ask.   Further, with the game in hand, they are virtually level with United, who must come to the Emirates before it’s all said and done.  My point here is that if (and it’s a big if) Arsene Wenger can find any kind of motivation for his players, they might yet lift a trophy come season’s end.

Confidence is the big conundrum for Wenger – Arsenal’s crisp, beautiful game is so reliant on it, that in its absence, the team stumbles about in a fog, contriving to draw or lose against much lesser teams. Against the Red Devils, they seemed to again lack a cutting edge, and this may have been the symptom of a hangover gained from their night out in Barcelona, where they learnt the slightly different meaning of the phrase “out of your league”.

It’s time, then, for the experienced heads to step up.  Robin Van Persie, Andrei Arshavin, Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas need to take the lead and soon. They must ensure that the younger players’ heads do not drop, especially Wojciech Szczesny and Johan Djourou, who will naturally feel dejected at being unavailable at such a critical time.

You can never look back.

How Arsene could do with a seasoned defender right now to calm the mood by keeping his head down and just playing football.  I’m not advocating the return of William Gallas but there is some irony in the fact that this is exactly the role the Frenchman is performing at Spurs, who have their own defensive injury issues.

Against the expectations of many (including fans of Chelsea, Arsenal and France), Gallas has settled at Tottenham and become a mainstay of their defence. I must say that I was one of the doubters when Harry signed the London-based mercenary, but Gallas certainly proved me wrong with a resolute display against AC Milan that drew praise from many quarters.

I don’t particularly like Gallas but that performance should be respected. At 33, he’s now entering his twilight years.  Perhaps the man who famously shamed Arsene Wenger with his on-pitch hissy fit at the Emirates has grown up a little. Whatever the case, he is driving Spurs forward, towards the level of his former clubs.  Spurs may be on the outside looking in as afar as the Premier League top four is concerned but their confidence is soaring in Europe.  Arsenal would love to bottle some of that and serve it up domestically.

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Back on the other side of the Channel, this week’s matches saw the focus switch to on-pitch events, one week after French referees went on strike over issues of respect and welfare (it’s safe to say that, in France, this is fairly trodden ground).

In a quite hilarious turn of events, it also saw village side FC Borne bid for Barcelona legend-in-waiting Lionel Messi. As French prankster Remi Gaillard would say, “C’est en faisant n’importe quoi qu’on devient n’importe qui” – It’s by doing anything that you become anybody.

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Ligue 1 Round-up

Lille 2-1 Valenciennes

Last week, Pierre-Alain Frau nicked a stoppage time goal to snatch three points from Marseille. This time, it was Eden Hazard who secured the vital win that keeps Lille OSC top. It’s been a testing few weeks for the league leaders, with the entire pack suddenly closing as they let a few points slip, but they seem now to be back on track.

Rennes 0-2 Marseille

With Brandao absent amid allegations of sexual assault, the Ayew brothers provided goals for Loic Remy and Lucho Gonzalez to keep Marseille’s title dreams alive and also giving them a welcome confidence boost ahead of a tough Champions League match at Old Trafford next week.  For Rennes, the setback leaves them 3 points behind Lille.Such a defeat will prey on some of the club’s young minds and it will be up to Frederic Antonetti to instill some belief ahead of the trip to Lyon next weekend.

PSG 0-0 Montpellier

This match pitted 5th against 6th, but Les Parisiens were favourites to win and continue their title chase.  Now, the draw leaves them 7 points off Lille and the title seems unattainable.  Attention may now shift to the Europa League, in which they must overcome a 2-1 deficit to Benfica in mid-week.  Should that prove beyond the Parisiens, they must at least maintain the final European spot in Ligue 1, making their match against Marseille this weekend the pivotal moment in the season.

Nice 1-0 Auxerre

Auxerre were the ones to beat PSG last week, and I thought they may have turned the corner. However, this loss at fellow strugglers Nice has dropped them into the relegation zone at a bad time.

Bordeaux 0-1 Monaco

For Auxerre to go into the relegation zone, someone had to come out. The beneficiaries were Monaco, who benefited from the luckiest of wins at Bordeaux. Monaco had 2 shots all game and 35% of possession, but still came away with the win thanks to a goal from a corner, scored by defender Adriano. Manager Guy Lacombe won’t mind how they got the win, however, as the points gained from it may well be crucial at the season’s end.

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This week sees France’s elite measure themselves against the rest of Europe.  Marseille travel to Old Trafford, where Gabriel Heinze may not get the friendliest of receptions. Lyon will attempt to go three for three against Los Blanco’s and extend Real Madrid’s horrible run of last-16 Champions League exits to seven on the trot. Finally, PSG will look to end their run of bad form and surprise Benfica in the Europa League Round of 16

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Right, I’m off to the bar to see if I can convince suspended FC Borne president Cedric Enjorlas to make a bid for Cristiano Ronaldo!

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Much was made of Sir Alex Ferguson’s unique response to his selection crisis and the coinciding dilemma of facing the dangerously creative Arsenal attack in Saturday’s FA Cup quarter-final at Old Trafford.  The Scot wished to rest the likes of Dimitar Berbatov, Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes for Tuesday evening’s second leg against Marseille in the Champions League Round of 16.  As well, Rio Ferdinand, Jonny Evans, Michael Owen and Ji-Sung Park were ruled out through injury and Antonio Valencia was not fully match-fit.  So, unable to go toe to toe with Arsene Wenger’s young Gunners and facing a second elimination match in 72 hours, Fergie went on the defensive.  Sort of.  He named seven defenders in the starting XI.

Only, the ultra-conservative look of the line-up was not what it seemed.  The back four of Wes Brown, Chris Smalling, Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra were charged with holding off Robin van Persie, Samir Nasri and company, with John O’Shea anchoring the midfield in front of them to provide support.  But Fergie had a surprise waiting for the Gunners.  Wayne Rooney dropped back into the midfield to partner Darron Gibson in the middle of the pitch, leaving Javier Hernandez as the lone attacking forward and the da Silva brothers, Fabio and Rafael, were given free reign to harry Arsenal’s wide players and create havoc on the flanks.

The United manager, who has been criticised often in the media this year for adopting a more defensive approach to matches, used prevailing opinion to create a smokescreen for his most unusual starting squad in some time.  If Arsenal were not as wary as they might have been, having been already knocked out of two competitions in the past week; victimised by their usual injury hex and a significantly poor referee’s decision in the Barcelona match; and aware that United had dropped their past two league matches to Liverpool and Chelsea, they could be forgiven for believing that United had gone into survival mode and that they had been presented with an opportunity to turn their misfortune upon its head.  Thus it was that they ran willingly into the jaws of a steel trap and found themselves out of a third competition, as the da Silvas combined with Rooney, Hernandez and, in the second half, Antonio Valencia, to produce a 2-0 victory.

Van der Sar laid down the law: Thou shalt not score.

Overall, it was the antithesis of the performance you’d expect from such a seemingly cautious group.  Arsenal broke through their lines several times and it was left to the masterful goalkeeping of Edwin van Der Sar, composing an epic aria in his United swan song, to keep the visiting supporters silent.  As is human nature, the frustration of being denied at the doorstep by one man caused the Gunners to push more bodies forward, seeking to break the Dutchman’s will.  Instead, he simply punted the ball out to the wings for the da Silva’s to sing a song of their own.

On the half hour, Fabio began a movement which ultimately saw Rooney cross to Chicharito.  The Mexican’s header was palmed aside by a desperate Manuel Almunia, who played almost as well as van der Sar but did not enjoy nearly the support.  The young Brazilian, granted full freedom to attack on this day, was there to finish what he had started and United led.  After the Gunners had begun the second half searching for the equaliser, they again left their rearguard exposed and a wicked cross into the box was only deflected lazily into the air by a lunging Johan Djourou.  Rooney was there to target a header barely out of Almunia’s reach and just inside the post and render the result inevitable.

Battles with the FA, referees and the media forgotten for an afternoon, Fergie could enjoy a sip of wine and think to himself, "I've still got it!"

For those who decry Ferguson’s often wayward tactics and wonder at his piecemeal squads, this match illustrated the difference between Fergie and Arsene Wenger.  The Frenchman knows only one method, builds his club accordingly and sticks with it to the bitter end.  In the immortal words of Bill S., “cowards die many times before their deaths and the valiant never taste of death but once.”  Wenger is afraid to step out of his comfort zone and has paid the price by seeing his side killed off innumerable times when adversity has exposed them over the past half-dozen campaigns.  Fergie, on the other hand, tries to have a bit of everything in his bag of tricks and his squads can, as was seen this weekend, come at you in any number of ways.  No wonder, then, that United lives on, enjoying a rich haul of silverware while Arsenal’s cupboard has remained bare.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I never know where my thoughts will take me but I was still rather surprised that Fergie’s opposite-of-what-they-seem tactics brought to mind a soft-drink commercial from my youth.  Having come of age in the late 70s, I’m betting most of you haven’t seen the one of which I speak, but 7-Up ran a series of ads featuring Geoffrey Holder, the actor who portrayed the evil witch doctor in the 007 flick, Live And Let Die, with Roger Moore and Jane Seymour.  Holder was famous in the 7-Up adverts for dressing in white linen suits, sporting a matching wide-brimmed hat and saying “Simply Mahvelous” before letting out a deep throaty laugh (and now you know from where Billy Crystal borrowed the tag-line for his Fernando character on SNL, or is that still too far before your time?).

In that campaign, as with Fergie’s Saturday line-up, 7-Up was the Un-Cola, exactly what you didn’t expect from a soft drink.  So, I owe Fergie a debt of thanks for not only having the daring and imagination which produced a unique and memorable match, proving that old dogs can come up with new tricks and that football needn’t be as predictable and mundane as it often is, but also for giving me a completely unexpected bit of nostalgia.  And people continue to wonder when he’ll retire.

]]> http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/03/13/manchester-united-introduces-7-up-the-un-offence/feed/ 9 Rooney, Fabio and Chicharito resulteditor Man United ball 2 Van Der Sar lays down the law Sir Alex Ferguson http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/03/04/kolo-toure-asks-does-the-man-city-kit-make-me-look-fat/ http://worldfootballcolumns.com/2011/03/04/kolo-toure-asks-does-the-man-city-kit-make-me-look-fat/#comments Fri, 04 Mar 2011 21:07:37 +0000 Martin Palazzotto http://worldfootballcolumns.com/?p=14836 Continue reading »]]> So, Thursday was a day like any other, wherein I was trying to balance real-life concerns with getting the latest WFC article on-line. Irony of ironies, the column in question was the debut of Forever & Everton – shameless plug alert! - and there’s a club who, when you think of Joleon Lescott and just plain Jo, can’t be wishing Manchester City the best of luck. But there I am, editing the article, while chatting with the author, Darren Loyden, and attempting to instruct someone who shall remain clueless as to how to prime the water-pump on their yacht, after they’d forgotten to top off the tanks before they ran dry.

Of a sudden, Darren pipes up, “Have you heard the breaking news?”

Naturally, such headlines as Sir Alex Ferguson announcing his retirement, Ashley Cole arrested for being stupid to innocent people while carrying a loaded weapon or, please let it be, Sepp Blatter caught with an underage male prostitute and stepping down as FIFA president ran across my inner desktop. So, my heart skipping a beat, I took a deep breath and typed “No, what is it?”

Google kindly let me know that Darren was typing and I waited with bated breath to discover that, “Kolo Toure has been suspended for drugs.”

My first impulse was to reply ‘Is that all?’ but I quickly thought better of that and entered “Ooh, fun,” because sarcasm doesn’t drip as much online.  Darren’s a new writer on WFC and seems a nice bloke, so I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. By the way, don’t tell him about this post!

Seeing as Toure would have to get in line behind Adrian Mutu, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Floyd Landis, that Spanish cyclist whose name I can’t remember but claimed to have eaten bad meat wrapped in an IV bag, Jose Theodore, the NHL goaltender whose use of Rogaine saw him benched, and, allegedly ad infinitum, Lance Armstrong, I wasn’t what you’d call bowled over by the revelation. Still, to keep the conversation going while I explained to my yachtie client that I wasn’t going to drive twenty miles in rush hour traffic to flip a switch on a pump on and off three times, I asked Darren if the banned substance in question was for competitive or recreational purposes.

He didn’t know and when I had a moment to check, the article that I read wasn’t specific, either. It really wasn’t important, because when you’re busted, you’re busted but I was curious.

After being busted, Ricky took his medicine and now Kolo will have to, as well.

Locally, we have a running back who plays for the Miami Dolphins, Ricky Williams, a Heisman trophy winner in college, who had done pretty well professionally. Unfortunately, he tested positive for marijuana – WHOOP-whoop-WHOOP-whoop-Whoop (sorry, that’s the best impression of a burglar alarm going off that I can manage in type) – one too many times, the last one being in the off-season, when the league sent someone all the way to Thailand to test him. On their moral high horses, the NFL suspended him for a year.

Williams’ response was, “You can’t suspend me, I retire!”

As pot is about as recreational a drug as you can find and is actually detrimental to athletic performance, Williams was hardly cheating. The league was just concerned about their advertising image. So, I admired Ricky for his principled stance. If he prefers fine Columbian to Jack Daniels in order to take the edge off, that’s his business and no one else’s. Unfortunately, his principles weren’t paying for the ganja and he came crawling back to the league, a year or two later.

As it turned out on Friday morning, Arsene Wenger has come to Toure’s defence, offering that the player merely took a diet pill and had done the same at Arsenal, also, due to weight problems.  While that’s far more harmless than injecting steroids or choking down pain-killers like they were going out of style, it’s still against the rules.  As well, he’s done it before, been caught by the club, if not the league and knows better.  So, while it’s an offence comparable to jay-walking it does fall under the spectre of performance enhancement.

Yet, when it comes to players getting pinched for loading up on performance-enhancing drugs, my indignometer doesn’t really register much higher, to be honest. Yes, it’s cheating but, to my mind, were their use legal, banned substances would not represent a competitive advantage.  Let’s face it, they’re not rare commodities; everyone has access to them, including you, me and all those acne-backed muscle-heads down at the local gym. If they are readily at hand for everyone, where is the advantage?.

No, there’s only one difference between shooting up on HGH and handling a ball à la Maradona, Thierry Henry or Luis Suarez that justifies the ban on it or other such chemical aids: they are dangerous to your health. Popping uppers or pain-killers, as many famous athletes have discovered to their regret, is addictive. Worse, steroids can be deadly.

In America, one famous NFL lineman of the 70s and 80s, Lyle Alzado, died shortly after his retirement, from cancer brought on by the use of steroids. Yet, the league and other sports remained largely unconcerned.

Then, in the 90s, the renaissance of America’s national pastime, baseball, which had been fueled by beefed up duo Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa’s chase after Roger Maris’ home run record, was sullied by revelations of prolific steroid use in the game. Suddenly fans, the media and, oh, glory be, the United States Congress were outraged. Hearings were called and testing demanded. Yet, the ultimate punishment has been the reluctance of voters to elect anyone alleged to have taken steroids, before or after they were finally banned, to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

There has also been hot debate over whether individual records should be stricken or, at the least, have an asterisk attached. Old school fans are furious that these young whippersnappers have used the latest technical advances in medicine to outperform their heroes. That would be akin to suggesting that today’s players are cheating by using the newest Adidas trainers, far lighter than the clod-hopping boots of your grandfather’s day. What about the Jabulani? Surely it provides an unfair advantage, when compared to the old brown leather lumps Sir Stanley Matthews used to kick about?

Had Toure reached out for help, Ronaldo would have told him things could be worse.

Even if you stick to pharmaceuticals, the moral outcry is ridiculous. Babe Ruth in the 30s and another great Yankee, Mickey Mantle, in the 50s, were both famous for their hedonistic lifestyles. They would drink and party from sundown to sunrise and Mantle, especially, was chronically injured. Yet, without the benefit of modern training regimens, these ‘heroes’ would somehow be at the ballpark everyday, raring to go for batting and fielding practice before games which, prior to the age of stadium lighting, would start promptly at noon. You cannot tell me that the old-timers were not being administered the best medicines available at the time.

For me, then, the whole matter boils down to the fact that Kolo Toure was caught cheating. And to that, I say big whoop. I don’t condone cheating but it happens so frequently, I’ve become jaded to it.  Admittedly, Luis Suarez’ handball in the World Cup had me typing up a storm. Yet, in retrospect, what started my blood boiling in that instance was that the Uruguayan did it in broad daylight, as it were, and afterwards was utterly unapologetic. In fact, he was brazenly proud of his feat.

So, while I understand cheating is wrong, it takes something far more blatant than a diet pill to draw my ire.  The simple fact is that none of us are blameless.  At some point in life, regardless of our intentions, good or bad, each of us has cheated, lied and stolen. I have and, before you claim that you’re squeaky clean, check your home-owner’s insurance to make sure the glass in your house is impact-proof.  It’s simply human nature to attempt to get what we desire in the easiest manner possible and the bigger the prize, the less honourable homo sapiens tend to be.  So don’t give me any of that drivel about athletes being held to a higher standard.    They’re as human as you and I.

The bottom line is that we all know we’re flouting the authorities when we get caught.  Therefore, each of us should be prepared to pay the appropriate price.  In Kolo Toure’s case, that will be a suspension, a fine and a never-ending parade of fat jokes in the media.

For Michael Corleone, it was the syndicate which refused to let him go legit. For Arsene Wenger, it’s the press who won’t let his side escape the spectre of self-doubt.

That’s not to say that the mob or the media are the ones to blame for the actions of either of our two anti-heroes. It may have been a hard road but Michael Corleone had the education, discipline and strength of will to play it straight if that was what, in his heart of hearts, he truly desired. Certainly, Wenger’s young charges have the education to be champions but the discipline and strength of will are apparently still lacking.

Could the Frenchman have done anything to redouble their focus and bolster their confidence? From afar, that is difficult to say but a couple of things spring to mind.

As it’s been so long that, among his current squad, only Cesc Fabregas has won a trophy with Arsenal, it might have been a good idea to invite a few of the alumni, such as Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira and Jens Lehmann, if available, to breathe a bit of champion’s spirit into the clubhouse. Of course, even Lehmann’s advice may not have prevented Wojciech Szczesny or Laurent Koscielny’s concentration from wavering in the 89th minute, thus gifting Obafemi Martins the easiest goal of his life and Birmingham City a most unexpected Carling Cup and trip to Europe. Unlike America, where NFL players are famous for patrolling the sidelines of their alma mater as supplementary coaches and cheerleaders during big games, Premier League players are expected to largely act and think for themselves while on the pitch.

Perhaps less of this...

More important to my mind, though, is that Wenger needs to change his psychological approach. When his charges were young and inexperienced, it was understandable to be patient, defend their mistakes and attempt to instill positive thinking. Now, as was pointed out by Jose Mourinho not long ago, Wenger has an experienced line-up which can no longer plead naiveté. It is time to treat them like men rather than boys.

“The history about the young kids is getting old now. Sagna, Clichy, Walcott, Fabregas, Song, Nasri, Van Persie, Arshavin are not kids. They are all top players.”

If Jonny Evans and Tomasz Kuszczak had so famously muffed an exchange at the end of last year’s League Cup, leaving an empty place in the Old Trafford trophy case, you can bet that Sir Alex Ferguson would not have had this to say.

“Both of them are destroyed. We have to lift them up again and help them, that is what a team is about, that is part of the game.”

... Will result in more of this

There is no question that defender and keeper would have felt the full wrath of the Fergie hairdryer treatment. For the Scot, there are no excuses.  Last season, with a roomful of fresh, wide-eyed faces, such as Rafael, Kiko Macheda, Danny Welbeck, Gabriel Obertan, Antonio Valencia and Darron Gibson, but, most significantly, no Cristiano Ronaldo, expectations for United were low.  Yet, they won the Carling Cup and finished just a point behind Chelsea for the Premiership title, taking all six points from their encounters with Wenger’s coddled youngsters.  Furthermore, Fergie’s ‘boys’ each had their moments during the campaign.  If he wants to break his six-year championship duck, Arsene Wenger needs to stop being the Gunners’ Daddy Dearest and demand that his players take responsibility for their actions.

The immediate reality for Arsenal, however, is that the stunning defeat at Wembley has completely altered their outlook for the remainder of the season.  After the epic victory over Barcelona on the sixteenth, the Gunners have reverted to their former almost-but-not-quite selves, just when it seemed the world was their oyster.  They fell asleep against Leyton Orient, forcing an unwanted replay in the FA Cup.  Then came the 1-0 victory against Stoke, in which both Cesc and Walcott were lost to the ever-present Emirates injury bug.  Even in their absence, however, they were overwhelming favourites against Birmingham.  Had they lived up to billing, everything would have been possible.  With one trophy in the cabinet, the other three on offer would have been well within reach.  Now, claiming any one of them will be herculean tasks.

Sunday’s final was the beginning of a crucial fortnight for the Gunners. Had they won, they would have been flying high in the Wednesday replay against Orient.  Now, doubt is nibbling at the edge of their minds and it will be a much tougher match.  Then, on the eighth, they must go to the Camp Nou with memories of defeat foremost in their minds, obscuring the victory obtained at the Emirates.  Four days beyond that, assuming they win the replay – which, in the wake of the Wembley disaster, is no longer an automatic –  they must journey to the Theatre of Dreams, still haunted by nightmares.  At the moment, Arsenal’s pinnacles of triumph that were Chelsea and Barça are completed hidden from view in the valley of despair in which Birmingham have left them.

I’ll begin with the snood issue. Now, contrary to what I should think as a tax-paying, beer-swilling Englishman, I don’t mind the things. In the same way that foreign players are castigated for wearing gloves, snoods are now coming under fire from those traditional old moaners who cannot stand to watch Premiers League players prancing about in what can only be described as a sportsman’s scarf.

I really don’t know what the issue is here. The same reaction greeted Monsieur Wenger when, being appalled at the booze culture of his playing staff, he swiftly introduced dieticians and a generally more holistic approach to his players’ well being. After a couple of years it caught on and it’s now considered the norm in England for players to actually look after the bodies that are earning their fortune.  But I digress.

As for the snood, it was, in fact, The Guardian that included a graphic on the back of their sports page a couple of years ago which highlighted the effects of cold weather on player performance. I couldn’t locate the exact statistics but, from memory, the experts had found that a player would operate at something like 5% below his maximum performance level for every degree Celsius below four. Cold weather can also increase the risk or injury, which helps explain the amount of crocked players around the busy Christmas period in Britain.

So, do you still want to point and laugh at Samir Nasri’s neck warmer? Perhaps take a second to think for yourself instead of joining the flock, and wonder whether it’s that very snood which has contributed to the Frenchman’s impressive breakthrough season. Carlos Tevez, the butt of the TSF’s introductory joke, is fighting it out with the habitually glove-adorning Bulgarian, Dimitar Berbatov, for The Premier League’s Golden Boot. Instead of turning our nose up at these alien initiatives, why can’t we embrace them?

TSF’s issue was that snood safety is on the agenda of the International Football Association Board’s (FIFA plus the home nations) latest AGM, next Saturday in Wales. The naysayers claim it is an inviting hand hold for outmatched defenders trying to catch goalbound defenders and, as such, will lead to neck injury. As there are already rules against that, a few fines and a suspension or two, should get the message across.  Still, there’s no harm in listening to any safety concerns, is there?

Another bullet point on the schedule for next Saturday is square goal posts. A minor issue, agreed, but why criticise football’s governing body’s attempt to create a game that is played within the same parameters worldwide?

Every football fan's fantasy.

TSF’s final qualm was that players who have already been cautioned for a foul cannot retrospectively be awarded a red card (and ban) for the offence. While in theory this sounds like a legitimate gripe, consider the implications of reviewing every decision an official makes. Would every card he ever dishes out have to be verified after the game? Or even every foul he gives? Or even, every tackle, whether he gave a free kick or not?

A line must be drawn somewhere. Officials would be completely undermined by the Referee’s Association if every minor detail of their performance was scrutinised. This is one of the main reasons FIFA are reluctant to introduce video technology. While goal line decisions perhaps should be reviewed (and to his credit, TSF does mention it is on the agenda), if video replay was implemented the tabloids would immediately push for its use in other, unnecessary areas of the game: offsides, handballs, fouls, etc..

One massive drawback of video replays is they can actually increase the debate over whether a tackle was legitimate. Slowed down, it can still be impossible to tell whether contact was made, or more importantly, whether enough contact was made to justify blowing up for a foul. And anyway, what’s wrong with these arguments? Aren’t they what fans love to get all worked up about on a Saturday night, after their team has slumped to a 4-0 loss, the first of which shouldn’t have stood because there was a dubious foul throw decision which preceded the all important goal by three minutes?

Human error is part of sport, and thus it will always be part of officiating sport as well. With all due respect to the men in black, sometimes we need a scapegoat. As well, it means we have the pleasure of reading these uneducated ‘opinion’ pieces, like The Guardian’s TSF, pretty much everything found in any tabloid, and, you may consider, this very article.

Jude Ellery can also be found at online and on Twitter at Football Farrago.

For 2010-11, Eden Hazard is European football’s most sought after commodity.   The list of clubs rumoured to be prepared to meet Lille’s €24 million asking price for his services is a veritable who’s who of Champions League clubs:  Arsenal, Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, Real Madrid, Juventus and Bayern Munich.

Arsene Wenger even went public with his interest – after all, he’s got form with French-speaking wingers and attacking midfielders. Chelsea apparently made official enquiries into his availability.

January passed, however, and Hazard stayed in northern France, much to the dismay of those not watching Ligue 1 and to many who do but whose club is not topping the table. So, why didn’t Hazard make the big move, like so many of Ligue 1′s starlets?

Perhaps he took a look at some of the biggest French names in recent transfer windows. Karim Benzema? Perhaps a victim of circumstance, but undoubtedly talented (as I wrote last week). Yoann Gourcuff? Struggling to live up to even half of the next-Zidane expectations that the media (and €22 million) have saddled him with. Andre-Pierre Gignac? Struggled until January (to put it mildly) although surrounded by big names and playing at his boyhood club.

The collective failure of the previous class has led to amazing restraint from some of the league’s rising stars. Granted, Adil Rami agreed a transfer to Valencia but he was cautious enough to remain with Lille, and Hazard, until the summer. Hatem Ben Arfa forced a move  to Newcastle, which looked to be going well until he crossed Nigel de Jong’s path.

Still, in the usually busy French market, this winter, there was no Andy Carroll-ish surprise and no Fernando Torres-like splurge.  Just lots of pragmatism.

And this wasn’t just down to the chairmen. The players have followed suit – Kevin Gameiro, 23, fresh from shunning €10 million moves to Bordeaux and Valencia, followed up with 7 goals in 4 games, making it 15 for the season. Yann M’Vila, 20,  continues to mature as the midfield enforcer of Ligue 1′s stingiest of title-chasers, Rennes and Mamadou Sakho, 21, continues to establish himself at club and national level.

In an age where Sir Alex Ferguson, no less, throws money at unproven Portuguese wingers, the act of staying at a club to learn is refreshing. The best players tend not to be those nurtured on the sidelines, but those thrown in at the deep end, or as footballers know it, the first-team. For those who want to play, there is no better proving ground than Ligue 1 – just ask Hazard fan Zinedine Zidane.

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Ligue 1 round-up

Lyon 4-0 Nancy

This match treated us to one of this season’s best goals. After Yoann Gourcuff put Les Gones ahead on 37 minutes, things were fairly quiet, until 3 goals in the last 13 minutes sealed it. Jeremy Pied and Miralem Pjanic scored two of them, but the headlines went to summer signing Jimmy Briand, who struck a stunning overhead kick to conclude proceedings in spectacular fashion.

Dimitar Berbatov, Wayne Rooney?  It’s time to make room for a new aerial acrobat!

Montpellier 1-0 Lille

Montpellier ended Lille’s 13-match unbeaten run to bring hope to the rest of the title-chasers. Eden Hazard’s side looked oddly toothless for much of the match, and now face Lyon, who can overtake them with a win. All of their pursuers made up ground this week, making the coming tie all the more important.

Lorient 5-1 Bordeaux

I mentioned earlier that Kevin Gameiro declined a move to Bordeaux in January, and here’s why. A hat-trick from the 15-goal striker made Bordeaux miss the good old days of Laurent Blanc even more, especially with France vs. Brazil fresh in the memory.

Auxerre 1-1 Arles

Arles got just their third away point of the season against Auxerre, marking an ominous fall from grace for the Champions League side, one that sees them lingering perilously close to the relegation zone.

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Champions League

Tuesday

Lyon welcomed Real Madrid to the Stade de Gerland with some confidence, given the nature of their weekend victory, as well as recent form. Last season, Les Gones beat Real Madrid in this same fixture, making it 6 seasons since the Spanish side had made it to the quarter-finals.

Karim Benzema did not get his wish to start against his old club but Jose Mourinho was kind enough to bring him on in the 64th minute, after Emmanuel Adebayor proved ineffective.  Less than a minute later, Benzema defined effective, putting Madrid in front.  Unfortunately for the visitors, Benzema’s goal did not shake loose Lyon’s grip on them, as Batefimbi Gomis drew the sides level with under 10 minutes remaining.

Could it be a third year running that Lyon end Madrid’s European hopes?  We’ll know in a fortnight.

Wednesday

Tonight, Didier Deschamps’ Marseille will take on Manchester United, who will probably put in a better performance than they did against the Conference’s poor little rich club, Crawley Town. Marseille have started to click recently, with Andre-Pierre Gignac and Loic Remy actually scoring goals but both are doubtful for the match. The battle, then, will be in the midfield, where Mathieu Valbuena and Lucho Gonzalez will both appear.

With players missing, this should be Fergie’s for the taking. Didier Deschamps and Gaby Heinze will have their side prepared and it will be a tight game, but, after watching Briand’s goal endlessly for the last few days, I expect a piece of magic to make the difference, with United well-stocked in the wizardry department.

Right, I’m off to practice my overhead kicks. Au revoir!

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Yet, both of those assessments have turned out to be illusions.

City went out and threw bad money after good, unnecessarily acquiring Edin Dzeko from Wolfsburg.  Since the announcement of the Bosnian striker’s signing, Roberto Mancini’s side have gone from being level with United to eight points off the pace and watched with dismay as Wayne Rooney’s overhead kick condemned them as also-rans for the title.  Dzeko has not found any chemistry with captain Carlos Tevez, who had been cajoled into remaining with the club prior to the holidays.  The Argentine is again slightly less invested emotionally and there is talk he will be heading to Barcelona or Inter in the summer.

Chelsea also shook things up in the transfer window.  While it seemed needed in defense and their dogged pursuit of David Luiz is to be lauded, you have to wonder just why Roman Abramovich felt the need to relieve Liverpool of the dissatisfied Fernando Torres and fund the Reds’ rejuvenation, supplying the cash for the signings of Luis Suarez and Andy Carroll?  The Blues were embarrassed at home by Liverpool immediately after the transaction and are now on the wrong side of the Champions League fence.   Torres has not responded to the change of scenery and Didier Drogba is beginning to do a credible Carlos Tevez impression in the press.

Who will raise the glass of April Wine, to toast the victor?

The Premier League has gone from a five horse race – Spurs have barely been able to match the pace of the leaders, themselves – to a thoroughbred showdown between the two longest-serving managers in the English top flight.  Suddenly, though, it’s Sir Alex Ferguson rationalising defeat while Arsene Wenger is brazen in his optimism.

“I said before the game, I do think Wolves are in a false position. But we had a great start. We made a lot of chances, particularly in the first half. Then in the second we were not at the races. Their keeper did not have many saves to make. The pitch was not very good but we didn’t make anything.” – Fergie, spinning United’s first league defeat of  the season

“I personally believe we can go very deep in each competition we play… to the end. It’s just down to how much we believe and how much commitment we show.” — Wenger, for a change, not talking about defeat.

If United are wary, it’s easy to understand.  These are not the same Gunners who have faded in past Marches and Aprils, allowing Chelsea or Manchester to claim yet another Premier League crown.  This Arsenal side is doing things it hasn’t in recent memory.

The transformation was heralded over the Christmas holiday.  On thirteen December, they journeyed to Old Trafford and played a back and forth match against United.  Although, the home side emerged victorious, it was not the one-sided affair it had been in the previous seasons, when the Gunners repeatedly wilted under the northerners’ relentless pressure.  Then, on the Monday after stockings were pillaged for fare, Chelsea came across town.  The traditional story called for the struggling Stamford Bridge outfit to find the cure for their troubles at the Emirates and for Arsenal to stir less than a mouse.  Alex Song, Cesc Fabregas and Theo Walcott, however, submitted a rewritten script and, for Carlos Ancelotti’s side, the days after Christmas were blue, blue, blue.

Despite that milestone victory, no one other than Arsene Wenger was quite sold on the new, improved Arsenal, until this week.  The Gunners haven’t been able to close on United but their come from behind victory against Barcelona at the Emirates has turned heads.  After David Villa had put the Catalans in front in a dominant first half, the Gunners came out after the interval and had their say.  Robin van Persie finally levelled matters on seventy-eight minutes and Andrei Arshavin turned the match on its head five minutes later.

In the first half of the season, Samir Nasri carried Arsenal and was being touted as the likely player of the year.  He has continued to play well but his role has been muted with the return to health of Fabregas and, especially, van Persie.  Since finding his way back, the Dutchman has scored thirteen goals in twenty appearances across four competitions.  Arshavin, who was rumoured to be moving on after becoming the fifth wheel in a healthy midfield, has forced his way back into Wenger’s assembly line with some timely goals and assists in the last few weeks.

With a healthy first team, a pleasant rarity for Wenger, two momentous victories and, perhaps most importantly, a game in hand against the leaders looming – their upcoming match against Spurs has been postponed for the Carling Cup Final – United’s caution is warranted.  If, as expected, the Gunners dust off Birmingham at Wembley next weekend, their confidence will shatter the glass ceiling that has been six years without a trophy.

Messi: This is not the team you want to play for... Cesc: Dude, you're playing with that Star Wars Lego set way too much.

Nine days later, they invade the Nou Camp.  The Emirates defeat is not likely to intimidate Barcelona but the most notable responses to the loss, from their talisman Lionel Messi and maestro Xavi Hernandez, ratcheting up the Cesc rhetoric, suggest some concern.

“In the end he will do what he wants and what the people at Barça want. It doesn’t depend on us, but I think his inclination is to be at Barcelona because there is nowhere he will be better off than here.” – Messi, still attempting the Catalan Mind Trick

“He wants to come here. Barcelona has always been his dream. But of course he’s Arsenal’s captain, the standard-bearer, a leader. This situation is a putada [bummer] for him. He’s at a club that plays his style, with Wenger, who has treated him well, taught him, raised him. Cesc respects him. If he’d been at, say, Blackburn it might have been easier to leave.

Look, the truth is: I want him to come here. Of course. Barcelona have a very clear style and not many footballers fit. It’s not easy. But Cesc fits it perfectly.” – Xavi, suddenly realising Cesc’s ‘situation’ might not be such a putada.

Fabregas is the unquestioned leader of the ‘other’ team that plays free-flowing artistic football but suddenly Jack Wilshere – according to Wenger, a Spaniard in English clothing – Nasri, et al have raised their game and rival the Catalans as teammates.  Has it made Cesc’s former academy chums jealous and, worse, unnerved?  After all, if Arsenal begin to win trophies, why would Cesc want to go from leading the band to marching to someone else’s tune?

The rematch in the first week of March will be a great measure of Arsenal’s progress.  To escape the Blaugrana’s stronghold with a victory is a difficult ask for any side.  Jose Mourinho is the only one to manage it in Europe and he did it by playing anti-football.  Wenger’s Gunners will not do that and, even needing just a draw, they will need every ounce of belief and gram of faith they can scrape up to match Barça, possession for possession, pass for pass, attack for attack, goal for goal.  The task looks far less daunting than it did a week ago, however.

Beyond that, at the end of April, the Gunners welcome United to the Emirates.  With Manchester facing both Chelsea and Liverpool away in March and hosting the Blues in the first week of May, the match against the Gunners may decide the title.  Certainly, United cannot afford to drop points in the interim.  Draws at Anfield and the Bridge trumped by Arsenal wins will see the sides level and Wenger has already turned the tables on two nemeses this season.  Unless, the Gunners are thoroughly embarrassed in Catalonia, the pressure is firmly on the leaders.

Arsenal have their sights set on ending their trophy drought in 2011 and remain serious contenders, though still not favourites, for a quadruple.  Like an expert big game hunter, the Gunners have let their prey come to them.  There is no question they have brought glory well within range.  The question is can they remain calm and hit their targets?

Red Son Rising

Just when Feyenoord needed it the most, a new star has risen from the east, to restore hope to their withering season.  Step forward Ryo Miyaichi.

On loan from Arsenal, Miyaichi left a lasting impression in his début for the Rotterdam giants.  In what was yet another must win game, Miyaichi produced the goods and was a frequent thorn in Heracles’ side, during a 2-1 triumph.  The 18-year-old Japanese wunderkind gave a mature display on the wing, justifying why many are calling him ‘Ryodinho’ (after Brazilian star Ronaldinho).

Miyaichi’s goal, which opened the scoring, was brilliantly taken.  The Gunner prodigy found space in the box, on 18′ and latched onto a beautiful cross from his opposite winger, Diego Biseswar, teeing up his volley with his chest.   Afterwards, Feyenoord fans were in ecstasy, chanting “Ryo, Ryo, Ryo,” every time he came forward, like bloodthirsty Romans urging on their favourite gladiator.

With Ryo on one flank and Biseswar on the other, Feyenoord may find it easier to open up defences.

He was subbed to a standing ovation, although Feyenoord coach Mario Been, in his post-match press conference, rightly cautioned supporters not to expect too much, too soon from the Japanese teenager.  Arsène Wenger will no doubt be keeping tabs on Ryo’s progress as the Frenchman has seemingly uncovered yet another diamond in the rough.  Miyaichi couldn’t be in a better league for developing young stars, with Feyenoord being one of the very best clubs to do so. In fact, it was the youthful Biseswar, following up on his service, who added the second just past the half-hour mark.

The team performance against Heracles was a far cry from their last home game, the disappointing 0-1 loss to De Graafschap; this time any tears from the youngsters were of joy not sorrow. The win puts Feyenoord 5 points clear of the relegation zone.

Eredivisie Round-up

Has Ajax‘ title challenge ended for another season?  A 2-0 lead squandered at FC Roda could turn out to be very significant.

The Amsterdam side were coasting, with two brilliantly taken goals.  Miralem Sulejmani latched onto a pass from the man of the moment, young Dane Christian Eriksen, to bury the first.   The Serb then turned provider for Siem de Jong to power in a diving header. The lead looked comfortable but the Ajax defence was cut open when Mads Junker finished off a beautiful Roda move just before half-time.

The hosts equalised in the dying stages of the game from a quality Anouar Hadouir free kick.   In truth, both clubs had opportunities to claim all three points in the late-going.   Roda missed a hatful of chances and Ajax’ Mounir El Hamdaoui missed an 88th minute penalty, leaving each club with a regrettable single point.  Afterwards Frank de Boer downplayed the crucial miss, admitting that he too had missed an important penalty before.  Thanks, Frank, for reminding us of Euro 2000 and that Italy game…

FC Groningen had the opportunity to leap-frog Ajax, but they, too, could only draw at De Graafschap. With both FC Twente and PSV winning, the pursuers now trail by 6 and 5 points respectively.

It wasn’t all bad news for Ajax, this past week.  Their favourite son, Johan Cruijff, returned to the club in an official capacity for the first time since 1998.   He will be involved in a new technical sounding committee (whatever that is). It seems that for the first time in a very, very long time, Cruijff is willing to contribute and take responsibility instead of criticising the direction of the club from afar (notably in his newspaper column).

That Other Low Country

Across the border in Belgium, Anderlecht left it late to maintain their 3-point lead at the top. Romelu Lukaku was rested for the upcoming Europa League tie against Ajax but had to come on, as the defending champions were heading to a goalless draw at home to Cercle Bruges. It was ex-Ajax youth player Mbark Boussoufa who sealed the win in added time, however.

Cesc is happy to have someone else carry the Gunners on their back for a time.

Genk kept the heat on with a comfortable 2-0 away win at Standard Liège. An Axel Witsel own goal and a Kennedy Nwanganga effort saw Standard remain amongst the also-rans in the Jupiler League.

Oranje on the Range

A brace against Wolves means it is now 10 goals so far in 2011 for Robin van Persie, a new Premier League record for most goals in the first two months of a calendar year. He missed last year’s Champions league tie against Barcelona, through injury.  With his current torrid form, it’s just possible his presence could turn the result on its head this time around.

Arjen Robben also plucked a brace on the weekend, for Bayern.  Robben was reunited with Frank Ribery,  reviving their ‘Robbery’ partnership.  The pair’s chemistry overwhelmed Hoffenheim in a 4-0 rout at the Allianz Arena.

Elsewhere, Ibrahim Afellay started his first league game for Barcelona, which didn’t end well.  In fairness, he was played out of position, as a right forward.  He can play in that role, just not as effectively elsewhere.  Pedro came on at half-time for the underwhelming Afellay but the entire XI proved flat in a 1-1 draw with lowly Sporting Gijon, at El Molinón.

l’Oranje

Holland ran out comfortable 3-1 winners against Austria in Eindhoven.   A spectacular goal from Wesley Sneijder opened the scoring, the thriller being his 20th for Oranje. The Dutch doubled their lead through a well worked Klaas-Jan Huntelaar goal, Eljero Elia and Erik Pieters combining well for the left-back to tee up a simple Huntelaar header.   The deadly Schalke striker continuing his rich vein of form in front of goal; he now owns 26 goals for country – 16 in the last year. Dirk Kuyt added the 3rd from the spot before former Twente striker Marko Arnautović did similar for an Austrian consolation.

Thus, it is little surprise that after an autumn and early winter of inconsistency, where sure victories and looming defeats have both been turned into draws at the death, inspiring me to tag the Old Trafford outfit as the ‘Almost Beatables,’ they may finally be hitting their stride.

A week after former United spark plug and current Man City captain Carlos Tevez drew level with Dimitar Berbatov, at 14, for the lead in Premier league goals scored, the Bulgarian replied, raising the bar significantly.  His hat trick left Birmingham singing the Blues after a 5-0 United symphony of goals.  Ryan Giggs and Nani also joined in the chorus, suggesting that United may be starting to mature into their typical second half form.

For the first time in seven league matches and ten overall, United offered up a dominant performance.  Even more-so than that last blowout, where they did concede a goal in the match that allegedly led to Sam Allardyce’s sacking, everything seemed to go their way.  Straight out of the gate, Birmingham mishandled a corner, when Ryan Giggs found John O’Shea (remember him?), who flicked on to Berbatov for an easy finish.  It was O’Shea’s first duty in almost two months and he quickly proved he is still capable of filling in when and where needed.

Berba finds goal on two minutes, while City's Barry Ferguson either attempts to scratch the itch between his shoulder blades or practices his impression of a Playstation avatar.

On the half hour, Wayne Rooney’s breakneck charge drew enough attention that he was able to slide a pass over to the Berba, who took an angle on defender Roger Johnson and fired low past Ben Foster.  The Bulgarian was then instrumental in Giggsie’s goal, just before the whistle, stealing the ball from Alex Hleb while laying on the turf and beginning a chain of passes which would end with Rooney again providing service, this time for the ageless Welshman.

The love triangle between the trio would be completed less than ten minutes after the restart.  This time Rooney would start the play and Giggs would find Berbatov alone in the six, completing his third trifecta of the season.  Though he has a long way to go to match Cristiano Ronaldo’s 42 goals in all competitions during the 2008-9 campaign, Berba can now point to those three matches and claim to have done something the Portuguese never did in his United career.

Since coming back into the fold, Rooney has been content to feed others and Berbatov has certainly eaten well.  Still, it remains that thirteen of his seventeen goals have come in just four matches, five against Rovers, three each against Liverpool and Birmingham and the brace against Sunderland.  Although the Red Devils have any number of players who have pitched in with more than one goal this season, be it Chicharito, Nani, Giggs, Park Ji-Sung, whose South Korean side have made it to the Asian Cup semi-finals, where they’ll face rival Japan, or captain Nemanja Vidic, it would further their purpose even more if Berba were able to cancel some of his debt to the Scouser, by offering up some service of his own in those contests where his own efforts are being frustrated.

Meanwhile, Nani’s clean-up effort with a quarter-hour remaining suggests that Fergie’s boys have finally remembered to keep their foot on the gas.  To some extent, United were helped in this match by Birmingham’s unusual choice to take their chances and attempt to match the table topper’s more open style.  To do that at Old Trafford, especially after playing it much closer to the vest at St. Andrew’s, over the holidays, is a bit of a head-scratcher.

There was no 'almost' for McLeish's Birmingham on Saturday.

After the match, Fergie must have taken some delight in seeing Roberto Mancini’s City look rather impotent at Villa Park.  Although Tevez, new signing Edin Dzeko and the rest of the City attack had their chances in the match, they went down, largely at the hands of a bankrupt goal-keeper, in Brad Friedel, and a break-the-bank signing, in Darren Bent.  The England bench warmer opened his Villa account on eighteen minutes and Friedel held off the Sky Blue assault far better than he is creditors attempting to collect over $5 million US in debts from his failed Ohio football academy.

Arsenal managed to keep pace with United, however, as Robin van Persie netted three goals of his own against Wigan.  As it now stands, City lay three points and two games off the pace, while the Gunners remain two points and one match behind.

Next up for United is a stretch away from the friendly confines.  A pair of midweek matches, this Tuesday against Blackpool and, seven days after, against a suddenly dangerous Aston Villa, sandwich a Saturday FA Cup match at St. Mary’s versus Southampton.

Sir Alex tends to enjoy fairly easy matches whenever he’s pitted against one of his coaching acolytes or admirers, whether it’s Steve Bruce, Roy Hodgson or, as this time around, Alex McLeish.  Ian Holloway is definitely an admirer, as noted by his passionate defence of the Scot in the midst of the Wayne Rooney drama, earlier in the campaign.  However, while one wonders where Olly’s mind is during some of his press conferences, there is no question that it is fully focused on the task at hand when the Seasiders take to the pitch.  Bloomfield Road will not be easy pickings.

It’s still a long haul to the last week of May and the Premier League title but if United are to be there at the end, forcing Arsene Wenger’s 2003-4 Invincibles to share a piece of history, they can only proceed one match at a time.  So, after Saturday’s mauling of Birmingham, at Old Trafford, it’s one down and sixteen to go.

See you midweek!

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In Case you missed it, here is last week’s introduction to the Tales of the Almost Beatables.

It has to be admitted that the Gunners ran away with the title that year, while United are being hard pressed by the present day Arsenal and their nouveau riche neighbours Man City.  At this point, Sir Alex Ferguson’s side have almost as many draws as the Gunners did in their entire campaign.  Manchester have certainly looked beatable but no one has quite managed it.   It’s even possible that if the Red Devils don’t assert themselves with more authority than they did in the season’s opening half, they could finish unbeaten but also uncrowned.

Since they’ve survived thus far, I’ve decided to report on every match for as long as they remain undefeated, to chronicle the journey should Rooney, Berba, Vidic, van der Sar and the rest make it all the way through to the end of May.  Of course, as even Fergie acknowledges, it is nigh to impossible to accomplish such a feat in the very competitive Premier League of 2010-11.  Therefore, at some point, hopefully not too soon, I may be writing an article entitled ‘Man United:  Beaten.’  That remains to be seen, however, and the fun lays in the anticipation.  So, let’s hope the journey is a long one!

Spurs 0 – 0 United Sunday, 16 January

The White Hart Lane crowd watched two sides who like to attack go at each other on Sunday.  Unfortunately for the supporters, neither side seemed able to draw blood.  Gareth Bale displayed an unusually heavy touch, with the majority of his crosses sailing over the heads of those waiting in the box, although Rafael van der Vaart and Wayne Rooney each had a pair of golden chances for their sides.

The keepers, van der Sar and Heurelho Gomes, stood tall in this match, however, each making several splendid saves to deny the attacking dogs their day.  Dimitar Berbatov was relatively quiet and el Chicharito wasn’t able to capitalise on his limited minutes, as he has so many times in this campaign.  To be fair to the Little Pea, he did come on after United were down to ten men.

Rafael: hardnosed and hard done by.

It was the right back, Rafael da Silva, who was sent off for what was probably his least offensive tackle of the afternoon.  United can hardly complain, though, as the second booking, light as it was, probably should have come sooner.  While he may be smaller than his predecessor, Gary Neville, Rafael has certainly showed the same pit bull mentality, perhaps best highlighted by his recent tête-à-tête with fellow spark plug Carlos Tevez, where he gave as well as he received, refusing to back down from the City captain.  With the ever dangerous Bale assigned to him,  the young Brazilian was fearless in his tackling and justified Ferguson’s belief that he is ready to step in as the first choice to defend the right flank.

United banded together and held off Spurs in the final quarter-hour, despite the disadvantage, which even Harry Redknapp admitted was a harsh decision, comparing the contact to of all things an Olympic distance race.

He’s just run in and clipped his (Assou-Ekotto’s) heels. He hasn’t stuck his leg out. It was Mary Decker and Zola Budd wasn’t it? What can you do about that? He hasn’t broken his stride. – Harry displaying that his whole life doesn’t revolve around football and Playstation.

The Spurs manager then went on to suggest, as so many gaffers this season have, after facing United, that his foes won’t match the Invincibles.  He pointed out that the Ronaldo and Tevez side was far more convincing, yet it is perhaps because the current squad also knows this that they fight that much harder, steadfastly refusing to succumb.

The Almost Beatable United v The Invincibles

So, how does this side match up against the 03-04 Gunners?  Well, that squad finished with 90 points, while United are only on a pace to reach 81.  However, the Invincibles finished much stronger than they began.  In fact, after 21 matches, which is where United now sit, they had only two more wins than Manchester now have.  Their 21st game also marked their return to the top spot, after having been in second for the previous 3 weeks and 5 of the last 7.  Finally, that contest marked the beginning of a 9 game winning streak which would establish their dominance.

The Invincibles wrote a history which United would love to emulate.

Sir Alex’s side have long been known for finding their stride after the New Year, too.  When you look at the players on each club, there isn’t much difference.  Thierry Henry finished the year with 30 goals and, all things being equal, Berbatov’s 14 should bring him close to that mark.  Playing in behind him, Dennis Bergkamp only struck 5 and while Rooney’s first half has been forgettable, one has to believe he has it in him to surpass that mark.  Robert Pires and Freddie Ljungberg combined for 29 goals and Javier Hernandez and Nani’s dozen to date aren’t far behind that mark.  Edu also added 7 but Park Ji-sung already has 4.

Patrick Vieira held together the midfield, whereas United have a leadership by committee in the centre of the pitch, with duties shared by Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Darren Fletcher and Michael Carrick.  Individually, none of them today measure up to Vieira’s former capabilities, but collectively they get the job done as ably as the Frenchman did.

In goal, you have to give the edge to van der Sar over the surly and occasionally wayward Jens Lehmann.  The central defences of Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic for United and Sol Campbell and a young Kolo Toure for Arsenal are cut from the same quality cloth.  Both pairs can be described as solid and difficult to penetrate.  In fact, a great deal of United’s struggles have come when one or both of their first pairing has been unavailable.

Overall, the Gunners’ goal record read 73 scored and 26 conceded, for a +47 differential.  Manchester is on pace for marks of  78, 34 and +44, which are certainly comparable.

On paper, United seem to come up just a bit short in the comparison but when you consider the opposition, the gap narrows. Manchester are fighting tooth and nail with Arsenal, Chelsea and Tottenham squads all in the knockout stages of the Champions League and City’s Millionaire’s Row, which is sizing up the Europa League crown.  The Invincibles had fewer worries, with their United in transition, post-Beckham but pre-Ronaldo, and Chelsea and Liverpool in the formative stages of what would become the Mourinho era and Rafa Benitez’ Champions League winning Reds.

So, while time has smoothed away all the wrinkles in that Arsenal season, with most only remembering the final result and the highlights, United are in the now, with everything laid bare for all to see.  Only the coming 4 ½ months will reveal whether a comparison is truly warranted.

New Money v Old

At the moment, United’s primary competitor is City.  Arsenal are 2 points back having played one more match but Roberto Mancini’s side are exerting the real pressure, holding level with their municipal rivals, despite ceding 2 played games to them.  Sir Alex Ferguson knows he can’t forget about Arsene Wenger but it would only be natural for his eyes to seek news of the Citizens in the back pages as he sips his morning coffee.

How do the two Mancunian clubs’ remaining fixtures compare?  Obviously the most important factor is that United have those extra two matches to play.  Overall, however, the clubs share 10 opponents and face each other once, this time at Old Trafford on Sunday, 13 February.

Rafael made it clear that Tevez is wearing the wrong shirt to expect any respect from him.

At first glance, you would write off that one as a sure draw, with Mancini again parking the bus as he did both against United at the Eastlands and at the Emirates, facing the Gunners over the holidays.  It is just possible, though, that his hand may be forced.  If United continue undefeated until that meeting, and with Birmingham, Blackpool, Villa and Wolves their opponents, it’s not an unreasonable assumption, they will have used one of their two games in hand and may have opened a gap on the Sky Blues.  With United holding another game in reserve and his side 3 points or more off the pace, the Italian may feel obliged to roll the dice.

Of the ten opponents the two clubs share, they each play their foes in the same venue 4 times.  As for the other six, City get 4 of theirs on the road:  Birmingham, Villa, Bolton and Everton, while United must travel only twice, to Wigan and West Ham.  Advantage United.

City face 4 clubs which United do not:  Sunderland, West Brom, Tottenham and Stoke.  This is where the chasers have an edge, as all of those matches will be at the Eastlands.  United face 6 teams that City have, or in the case of Chelsea, will have already finished with:  Blackpool twice, Wolves, Newcastle, Arsenal, and their home match against the Blues.  Only two of those games are in the Theatre of Dreams.  Despite matches against the Gunners and Chelsea, United actually have a slight edge in the strength of schedule category, with City’s opponents currently averaging 31.5 points to United’s 31.2.  Despite the match at the Emirates, Man U’s unique road enemies average out to 30.3 points, meaning that, overall, the Red Devils face their toughest remaining matches at home.  If Mancini is expecting Fergie to drop points, he’d best get out his rosary beads.

If you’re curious about how Arsenal matches up in the same categories, United face have one more away match out of their 11 shared opponents, must face the Gunners at the Emirates and face a slightly tougher fight against their 6 unique opponents, by a margin of 0.5 points.  Again, however, Sir Alex’ side have the advantage of meeting the heavyweights on their schedule at Old Trafford, while Arsene Wenger’s side face harsher welcomes in their wanderings.

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Obviously, it won’t be easy for Man United to make it through their remaining 17 Premier League matches unscathed but tracking their progress, watching history being made or, if you listen to all the experts, more likely unmade, is sure to be edge of your seat entertainment.  The closer they get to glory, the more teams will pull out all the stops to end their run.  And, of course, Arsenal will be waiting on the last day of April, 4 matches from the end.  Whether you kiss the badge, spit on the floor at its mention, or are completely neutral, United’s run through the EPL gauntlet is not to be missed.

It’s a cup weekend in England, Scotland and France.  Fans in all three countries will be holding their betting tickets and hoping a lowly club can play David and slay a Goliath.  There are any number of matches which offer the opportunity, especially in the FA Cup.  Sheffield United and Reading are choice candidates, facing reeling sides Aston Villa and West Brom respectively.  Another interesting match will take place at the Stadium of Light, where Sunderland welcome Notts County.  The Black Cats have already endured a vicious attack from another group of Magpies this season.  Is a second in the offing?

As well, there are some tantalising match-ups in the Mediterranean leagues.  Here’s the WFC gang to fill you in…

Eliot Rothwell

Eliot Rothwell

Blackburn Rovers v Queens Park Rangers, FA Cup 3rd Round>>>Saturday

It’s FA Cup weekend in England, which means the inevitable but thoroughly uplifting air of a giant killing somewhere throughout the Queen’s Land.

One place where a so-called, giant killing may take place is the blustery Lancastrian stadium of Ewood Park.  Recent appointee Steve Kean sees his Blackburn Rovers face Championship high-flyers QPR. Rovers recently tabled an ambitious and somewhat unrealistic bid for former Ballon D’Or winner Ronaldinho, a move that seems to have broken down with the man who strikes fear into the hearts of defenders and dentists alike looks to be heading back to Brazil with Gremio.

QPR meanwhile are quite satisfied with the playmaker they have. The mercurial Adel Taraabt has been making a mockery of many a Championship defender.  Att eh other end, former Sheffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny will aim to keep out in form Blackburn striker Benjani Mwaruwari, following his two-goal heroics in the 3-1 win over the luckless Liverpool of Roy Hodgson.

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Tapesh Patel

Tapesh Patel

Arsenal v Leeds United, FA Cup 3rd Round>>>Saturday

Simon Grayson enjoyed a historic upset last year, when Leeds toppled Manchester United at Old Trafford, going on to force Tottenham to a replay. The cup run catapulted the manager into the national spotlight.  Since then, he has continued his good work, for which he has just gained another nomination for Championship Manager of the Month.

Leeds sit 5th in the table, having gone on a 12-match unbeaten run that started, and recently ended, against Cardiff City. Despite the disappointing loss on Tuesday, I expect Leeds to pose a threat, with the physical presence of Luciano Becchio back in the line-up. Max Gradel was in great form in December, nominated for the Player of the Month award, and his pace may be the key to unlocking an Arsenal defence, which will miss the assured presence of Bacary Sagna.

Arsene Wenger has already intimated that Sagna won’t be the only first-teamer missing from this game, with his players needing time to recuperate from the festive schedule. Robin Van Persie will be rested, and Samir Nasri will probably make way for the returning Aaron Ramsey, fresh from his loan stint at Nottingham Forest. Theo Walcott may be let loose on the defence and, if so, will want to prove a point to the manager after being given the hook for Nicklas Bendtner against Man City.

Arsenal will therefore be a weakened side but still overriding favourites at the Emirates. Leeds’ surprising start to the season does add some intrigue to the encounter, though. One thing is for sure – this match screams goals.

Leicester City v Manchester City, FA Cup 3rd Round>>>Sunday

One of the more intriguing ties in the 3rd Round will be at the Walker’s Stadium, where Sven-Goran Eriksson will get a visit from his former club. The Swede has had a clear impact on the Midlands side, helping them to recover from Paulo Sousa’s total of 5 points in 9 games and bring them into the upper reaches of the table.

There are a few ties between the two sides.  Sven brought his former Man City and England employee Darius Vassell with him, as well as full-back Greg Cunningham (who broke his leg against Hull but has now returned). Ben Mee has come in on loan at centre-back, but presumably won’t play. Nor will Spurs full-back Kyle Naughton, who is cup-tied for this game.

Leicester, then, might have some problems in defence. The question is, will Mancini bother to expose them? Apparently City have just signed some guy named Edin Dzeko and may well be thrown him in at the deep end. In fact, with City’s reserve side heavily favoured in the Europa League, you won’t likely get good odds on them for this tilt.

It may not be as easy as planned for the Citizens, however, especially if Leicester City produce a display like the one that beat Swansea on Monday.

Manchester United vs Liverpool, Fa Cup 3rd Round>>>Sunday

It’s been a long time since this match was such a lop-sided proposition. In a season where no one side has excelled, and upsets abound, United have somehow remained unbeaten. We could debate day and night whether they enjoy favourable refereeing decisions but the consensus is that they have been the best of a bad bunch, a fact reflected in the league table.

Sir Alex Ferguson will surely still be wary of a Liverpool side on the ropes, especially having suffered an embarrassing defeat to another rival, Leeds United, in this competition last year. As such, the experienced heads of Edwin Van Der Sar, Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney should get a run-out on Sunday.

Liverpool, then, need a big performance to get anything out of this game. Is it likely? No. But then Roy Hodgson’s side are in the same draw as Dover – the magic of the FA Cup works in mysterious ways.

Of course, it’s not even a certainty that Woy will be charge for this game†, which surely is a weight on the minds of players and the man himself.  No-one foresaw the rapid demise that Anfield has witnessed, yet the seemingly eternal despondency surrounding the squad perhaps hints at a lack of motivation, possibly stemming from the beleaguered Hodgson’s lack of confidence.

The saving grace? Mr. Liverpool, Steven Gerrard, who has recently, and indeed always, tried to put the team on his back in times of trouble.  Their last FA Cup trophy was 2006, five years gone, but who can forget his crucial goals against West Ham that helped win the Final? Something similar will be needed here, because Liverpool sorely lack any semblance of  spirit.

This game is important for so many reasons, so settle down, grab a pint, and enjoy the 3rd Round magic.

† Late Update:  Woy will not be at the helm for Sunday’s match, as NESV at last stepped in to relieve him of his duties.  Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish will step in to manage the club for the remainder of the season.

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Andrew Gibney

Andrew Gibney @ The Gib Football Show

Dundee United v Ross County, Scottish Cup>>>Saturday

At the end of last season, these clubs met at Hampden Park, battling it out to lift the Scottish Cup. Different fortunes have befallen both clubs this year.

Ross County are eighth in the First Division, only three points above last place Stirling Albion.  They haven’t won a game since they beat Devronvale in the last round of the Cup.

Dundee United are having a similar season, seventh in the SPL and now have to deal with the possibility of losing top striker and all round great player David Goodwillie.  After the sale of Kenny Miller to Birmingham, the Rangers vultures are circling and ready to swoop.

This game has the possibility of giving us the upset we all want from cup games. It will be difficult for Ross County to come away with a result but with enough belief, you never know.  Even a replay at Victoria Park would be a great result for the boys from Dingwall.

Chambery v Monaco, Coupe De France>>>Saturday

Saturday doesn’t just see cup weekend in the UK.  Teams all around France will meet to see who can progress to the last 32 of the Coupe de France. Again, in search for the elusive cup shock, we travel to the east of France to the town of Chambery.

The locals will welcome the visit of top flight AS Monaco as the Monégasque club take on the team from Group D of the French CFA2, aka the 5th tier. The Stade Municipal de Chambéry holds about 1000 fans, and it will surely be packed with fans expecting the unexpected.

Monaco are struggling in Ligue 1, sitting in 17th spot perilously close to the drop zone. Apart from the 2-1 victory over Sochaux last week you have to go back to the start of November for their last win. Since that win they have only scored five goals in eight games, Chambery can smell blood. What a fairytale story a home win would be!

Sporting Lisbon v Sporting Braga, Portuguese Liga>>>Saturday

Moving away from cup ties, there is a big game in Portugal this weekend as Sporting and Braga fight it out for the Europa League places, five points separate the teams before the match, Braga will want to close the gap on their rivals before both clubs go back into European competition.

Both have won their last two games but Sporting are unbeaten in their last four home games, whereas Braga have lost their last four away.  No surprise that Sporting are the favourites in this one.

Yet Braga should not be taken lightly, with the odds against them they overcame Arsenal in the Champions League.  So, there is every chance, with the great play of Matheus and Lima, that Braga could come away from the Estádio José de Alvalade with all three points.

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Fab Presilli

Fab Presilli

Porto v Marítimo, Portuguese Liga>>>Saturday

It’s the Incredible Hulk versus one of the best defenses in the League.  Porto are the top flight team in Portugal, by far. They are already 8 points clear and rolling for the title.

Hulk is just one piece of the puzzle, although an important one.  The forward is a key player of the Portistas and the crowd always expect goals when he is in the pitch.

Marítimo might be the second best defense but the offense is not working and the team is parked well down the table.

Sampdoria v Roma, Serie A>>>Sunday

Samp is trying to get back to life in the wake of Hurricane Cassano.  Without all the nonsense the player has brought to Genoa, the team can focus on getting back on track in order for a place in Europe next season.  Will new loanee Fernando Macheda be thrown into the fray against his hometown side?

Roma is sitting fourth, yet with little difference from second to sixth, major changes can be made in the table every round.

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Martin Palazzotto

Martin Palazzotto

Real Madrid v Villareal, La Liga>>>Sunday

In a crosstown trip to Getafe’s Estadio Alfonso Parez, Real showed a bit of holiday rust, defensively, but were prolific enough to eke out a 3-2 victory.  It seems the recently returned Kaka will be given a run out as second striker, with Florentino Perez pleading poverty and Karim Benzema the only pure striker in-house.  Los Meringues will have to be more attentive in this match, as the Yellow Submarine have surfaced in 3rd place.

Injuries to Nilmar and Marco Senna mean Juan Carlos Garrido’s side will be challenged to find a result at the Santiago Bernabeu.  If they don’t, the gap between the 2nd and 3rd sides will open to eleven points and Villareal will be far more concerned with Valencia coming up on their six than the La Liga title’s tail-lights disappearing on the horizon.

AC Milan v Udinese, Serie A>>>Sunday

If you’re not a member of Brigate Rossonere, you’re probably wondering who Rodney Strasser is.  As I’m not a member of the ultra group myself, I really can’t help you.  Even ESPN Soccernet doesn’t recognise the Sierra Leone attacking mid, mistakenly referring to him as Sidney.  With Zlatan Ibrahimovic in detention and Alex Pato ineffective, the youngster came into Thursday’s match at Cagliari and made the difference, as the Rossoneri opened a 5 point lead at the top..

Meanwhile, Alexis Sánchez and Antonio Di Natale powered the Little Zebras past Chievo, 2-0 at the Friuli, to remain level with Inter.  A trip to the San Siro will be no picnic, however, especially with Ibra back in the line-up.  If Masimiliano Allegri is satisfied with Antonio Cassano’s fitness, this one could really provide some fireworks.

Napoli v Juventus, Serie A>>>Sunday

These two clubs, unlike Milan and Udinese, began the second half of the season with losses.  Napoli were dominated by Inter 3-1, as Leonardo made an immediate impact in his Nerrazzurri debut.  As a result Napoli slipped to third.  Juventus’ 4-1 humiliation at the hands of Parma permitted Roma to slide into the final Champions League place.  Needless to say, both sides will be eager to make a quick about-face and the San Paolo should be rocking.

Whether you’re watching the Manchester/Liverpool clash or Madrid/Villareal after Sunday brunch, pick one of the four featured Serie A clashes as your follow-up match.  Chances are you’ll be treated to a great contest.

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Tom Pollock

Tom Pollock with The Oz Files

Melbourne Victory v Adelaide United, A-League

Sunday (in Australia, Saturday in Europe & the Americas)

This is perhaps one of the most one-sided rivalries in football. Melbourne and Adelaide love to beat on each other, when it comes to sport, and football is no exception. These sides have clashed in two Grand Finals in the past four years, with Victory getting up both times by an aggregate of 7-0. Add to the mix the fact that Victory has won the last 10 contests between the sides means this fixture is probably more meaningful to United, who are desperate to get the monkey off their back.  Think Engand v Germany, with Adelaide as the former.

Adelaide comes into the game having gone down to ladder leaders Brisbane, at home.  The defeat was their 4th in 5 matches but they have somehow held on to 2nd place. The 0-1 loss, while disappointing, has shown Adelaide they are not far off matching the Roar when the pressure is on. The Reds will look to new signings Andwele Slory and Francisco Usucar to halt their futility against Melbourne. Victory’s new striker, Danny Allsopp, could be given a longer run out, after marking at the start of his second stint with the club, against Wellington.

The clash is an important one for both sides, as finding form before the finals begin is critical. Home ground advantage could be the difference and, as this is one of the biggest fixtures of the year for Victory fans, they will turn up in force at AAMI Park.

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See you next week!