Mario Balotelli: You don’t Know…

This category contains 8 posts

Mario Balotelli Says, “You Don’t Know How To Play Go Fish!”

Super Mario takes the ball for a spin in America but can’t drive it home. Then, when he arrives back in England, he finds that he won’t be able to drive his new 150,000 quid Maserati home, either, thanks to a mystery prankster who has come up with a new definition for Frutta di Mare. Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli Says, “You Don’t Know That I Was Born To Ride!”

In the sixth episode of the You Don’t Know series, our intrepid hero discovers that there’s no such thing as an easy rider. Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli Says: Rio Ferdinand Doesn’t Know How To Celebrate!

Mario Balotelli graces WFC with another exclusive interview, revealing the inside scoop on what really happened at the end of the FA Cup semi-final on Saturday. Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli: You Don’t Know What To Do When You’re Suspended!

Hot on the heels of extricating himself from the furore caused by his red card in the Europa League, our hapless hero is in trouble once again and this time Mancini may have found another spoiled teenaged prodigy to bring to Man City! Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli: You Don’t Know What’s In My Suitcase!

Once again, Mario Balotelli graces WFC with an exclusive interview, giving us his perspective on the locker room bust-up with Roberto Mancini. Continue reading »

You Don’t Know, Ronaldo!

“Who is Cristiano Ronaldo?” Mario Balotelli asks. Who is he to tell me when to talk and when not to talk?  Who is he to tell me what I must do or not do?  I am Mario Balotelli and that is enough. He can only be jealous because he is now stuck with that rude … Continue reading »

You Don’t Know Jack! (Wilshere, That Is)

“Who is Jack Wilshere?” Mario Balotelli asks. “Is he the captain of Roma, who kicked me from behind when I told him he was a baby?  No, that’s Francisco Totti.  He screamed that in my face while I writhed on the ground and told me not to forget it. Is he the former manager of … Continue reading »

Life Sucks When You Have To Defend Mario Balotelli

Mario Balotelli is a prat.  This is not news to anyone except, perhaps, for Mario Balotelli.  When you think you know better than one half of the answer to the question ‘who are the two greatest managers of this generation? and that answer sits you on the end of the bench, yet still wins a … Continue reading »

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