Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: Inter’s Pazzini Stuns Cesena, Brescia Cling To Hope & Udinese Look Lost

The Serie A is unfortunately ahead of schedule in conducting its end of season business. The Scudetto is almost secure and the automatic Champions league places are locked down. Still there are two quartets, one battling for the remaining European places and the other to survive relegation. If this weekend’s array of last minute goals is any indication, none of the eight sides will rest easy until their task is done.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: AC Milan Within Reach of Scudetto, Napoli Throwing It All Away

Milan seem to be the only club in Italy consistently winning. As such, they’re on the threshold of their first Scudetto since 2003. In the meantime, last week’s losers, Roma and Inter came out on top on Saturday while the winners from seven days past, Lazio and Udinese took it on the chin.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: Lazio, Udinese On The Up, Inter, Napoli, Roma Break Down & Samp Beyond Repair

With five games remaining in the Serie A season, every point won – and lost – is vital. As the final stretch takes shape, the only certainties are at the top and bottom. Milan have the Scudetto well within their grasp and Bari should be making plans for Serie B in the fall. Everything else is still in doubt.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: Lecce Fly, Udinese Crash & Parma Drift Into Danger

This week on Spaghetti Western Theatre, Lecce may have crafted a happy ending to their season, Udinese have been caught in a cruel plot twist and Parma have given Hernan Crespo’s understudy top billing.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: Pato Powers Milan, Leonardo Sours Inter & Bari Can’t Catch A Break

Suddenly, it doesn’t matter whether Leonardo’s Inter are good for two or three goals per game. They can’t keep the ball out of their own goal. Forget walking home after another loss, the ends of the Earth wouldn’t be far enough for Julio Cesar to purge himself of the memories of the drubbings he has been receiving lately.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: Napoli’s Cavani Braced, Milan’s Ibra Misplaced & The Azzurri School For Wayward Boys

Inexplicably, Napoli are right back in the hunt for the Scudetto, just three weeks after their no-show against Milan at the San Siro. Like a bad case of acid reflux, the Serie A title race just refuses to settle down. Meanwhile, Cesare Prandelli demands more from his young players than mere prowess out on the pitch. Daniele de Rossi and Mario Balotelli have been told their services won’t be required against Slovenia, in the wake of their foolish red cards in continental competition.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: Udinese Make It Easy, Bari Make Milan Look Sorry & Lazio, Not Roma, Fall

Udinese continue their stampede from the bottom of the table to the top, Milan leave a golden opportunity to cement the Scudetto wanting and Lazio bow out of serious contention.

Serie A Spaghetti Western Theatre: AC Milan & Napoli Provide The Drama, Palermo’s Chairman The Comic Relief

Someone forgot to tell Napoli that Monday night at the San Siro was their most important match of the year and Palermo manager Delio Rossi, sacked by bombastic owner Maurizio Zamparini can take a page from Martin Luther King JR, shouting from the Sicilian rooftops, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!

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