Undercurrents

This category contains 24 posts

Mario Balotelli Says, “You Don’t Know How To Play Go Fish!”

Super Mario takes the ball for a spin in America but can’t drive it home. Then, when he arrives back in England, he finds that he won’t be able to drive his new 150,000 quid Maserati home, either, thanks to a mystery prankster who has come up with a new definition for Frutta di Mare. Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli Says, “You Don’t Know That I Was Born To Ride!”

In the sixth episode of the You Don’t Know series, our intrepid hero discovers that there’s no such thing as an easy rider. Continue reading »

Rio Ferdinand Has Communication Issues

Wait, are you calling me stupid? Continue reading »

FA Turn Their Back On Respect Campaign, Censor Fergie & Ancelotti

If you thought Sir Alex Ferguson and Carlo Ancelotti were stunned to be threatened with disciplinary action for praising Howard Webb, imagine how all the referees felt about another disturbingly contradictory policy from the FA. Continue reading »

Should Arsenal Go All Out To Sign The Ultimate Mercenary?

Think of this as matchmaking. Arsenal haven’t won anything in years and this fellow hasn’t lost. As crazy as it sounds why not put them together and see what happens? Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli Says: Rio Ferdinand Doesn’t Know How To Celebrate!

Mario Balotelli graces WFC with another exclusive interview, revealing the inside scoop on what really happened at the end of the FA Cup semi-final on Saturday. Continue reading »

West Ham’s Carlton Cole Tweets The Nose Of The Fear Mongers

Sir Alex Ferguson did disparage Mark Atkinson’s ability as a referee. Wayne Rooney did make two strafing runs at a TV cameraman dropping a full load of F-Bombs each time. If they think they’re hard done by, they should take a look at Carlton Cole, the first black man to be charged by the FA for making remarks to people of colour. Continue reading »

Neymar: One Banana Equals 60,000 Racists?

Neymar’s refusal to apologise for his remarks in the wake of the Brazil/Scotland friendly wasn’t reasoned out very well. Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli: You Don’t Know What To Do When You’re Suspended!

Hot on the heels of extricating himself from the furore caused by his red card in the Europa League, our hapless hero is in trouble once again and this time Mancini may have found another spoiled teenaged prodigy to bring to Man City! Continue reading »

Mario Balotelli: You Don’t Know What’s In My Suitcase!

Once again, Mario Balotelli graces WFC with an exclusive interview, giving us his perspective on the locker room bust-up with Roberto Mancini. Continue reading »

The FFF Decrees Thou Shalt Not Mess With Lionel Messi

Since when did football stop being fun? Continue reading »

Undercurrents: Liverpool FC Nipped In The Bud?

Steven Gerrard’s alma mater no longer believes it’s students should have any balls. Continue reading »

Alphabet Soup: Stirring The Depths Of The Premier League

The letter W is cursed. How else do you explain the plight of West Ham, Wigan, Wolves and West Brom? Continue reading »

The Evolution Of Revolution: Parallels Between Football and Egypt

Now that Hosni Mubarak has stepped down, after a fortnight of protests which brought Egypt, in the economic sense, to a screeching halt, there is still much to do.  A new government must be formed, and more importantly, nurtured and watched over as closely as any infant.  The people have won the pledge of the … Continue reading »

Undercurrents: Louis Van Gaal Has The Balls, Luca Toni Has The Nightmares

Modern mental health experts suggest that it’s counter-productive to suppress your problems.   It’s far better, they say, to talk about them openly and honestly.  Apparently, it’s very therapeutic.  It’s one thing to get a load off your mind in a private session with a qualified therapist but quite another to confess your latent sexual … Continue reading »

In Memory Of Coen Moulijn, Mr. Feyenoord: 15 February, 1937 – 4 January, 2011

Football fans who do not follow Dutch football will at least know who Johann Cruyff is.  They may even consider him Mr. Ajax.  However, they may be less familiar with Mr. Feyenoord. Whereas Cruyff would be capped numerous times with the Dutch national side and move from Amsterdam to Barcelona and the US, Moulijn would … Continue reading »

You Don’t Know, Ronaldo!

“Who is Cristiano Ronaldo?” Mario Balotelli asks. Who is he to tell me when to talk and when not to talk?  Who is he to tell me what I must do or not do?  I am Mario Balotelli and that is enough. He can only be jealous because he is now stuck with that rude … Continue reading »

Are Mascots’ Rights Covered Under The Geneva Convention?

        Football supporters can be very pro-active about their game.  Fans protest all the time, over matters such as managerial hirings (see Roy Hodgson at Liverpool), managerial firings (see Chris Hughton at Newcastle) and unwanted owners (see the Glazers at Man United).  They can even be very creative, like Swiss fans who … Continue reading »

La Cosa Nostra Del Man United

Don’t mess with the Family. That’s the message that Sir Alex Ferguson sent to Championship bottom feeders Preston North End after they had the temerity to sack his son Darren. Acting quickly in the wake of Junior’s dismissal, Fergie recalled loanees Ritchie De Laet and Joshua King. He would have also yanked Matty James out … Continue reading »

You Don’t Know Jack! (Wilshere, That Is)

“Who is Jack Wilshere?” Mario Balotelli asks. “Is he the captain of Roma, who kicked me from behind when I told him he was a baby?  No, that’s Francisco Totti.  He screamed that in my face while I writhed on the ground and told me not to forget it. Is he the former manager of … Continue reading »

Undercurrents: Independiente Win Copa Sud America!

The football gods have spoken. After a grueling 120-minute match and the tense rosary-fingering moments during the penalty kicks, Independiente, laying 17th in the Argentine Apertura, completed a storied fight back on Wednesday evening, from a 2-0 defeat in the opening leg of th e tie, to defeat relegated Campeonato side Goiás. The Championship, roughly … Continue reading »

Undercurrents: Roy Keane Says Snub The Snood

Roy Keane is unhappy. This, in itself, is nothing new. The 39 year-old Ipswich Town manager is filled with enough curmudgeonry to fuel a starting XI of grouchy old codgers twice his age. What has him harrumphing this time, however, is quite amusing. With record freezing temperatures and inches of the white stuff blanketing the … Continue reading »

Vote On The Increasingly Poor Fashions & Hairstyles Of Jude Ellery

Hello WFC readers, World Football Columns needs your assistance with a particularly difficult decision. As you can guess from the title of this page, it’s regarding one of our writer’s, Jude Ellery. Don’t misunderstand, we love having Jude pitch in at WFC, even though he has a great site of his own, Football Farrago The whole … Continue reading »

Life Sucks When You Have To Defend Mario Balotelli

Mario Balotelli is a prat.  This is not news to anyone except, perhaps, for Mario Balotelli.  When you think you know better than one half of the answer to the question ‘who are the two greatest managers of this generation? and that answer sits you on the end of the bench, yet still wins a … Continue reading »

Selling Like Hotcakes!

WFC is a small site with small dreams. You may notice that we don’t have any advertising. We’re not left-wing socialists, idealists or anything like that. We’re just lazy and without direction. However, it’s been suggested to us that we should consider bringing some revenue in to help cover the overhead. So, when a Mr. … Continue reading »

I Hate You, Chelsea. You Broke My Obi!

Samson Siasia, the coach of the Super Eagles of Nigeria is upset. He is angry at Chelsea FC for clipping the wings of mid-fielder Jon Obi Mikel. “The system at Chelsea destroyed Mikel’s game. He is an offensive player, but when he moved to Chelsea they changed him,” moans Siasia. When the youngster was first … Continue reading »

Permission To Speak

To be completely frank.  It’s an interesting term, that. Frank, comes from the Latin, francus, meaning to be free.  Ironically, the original word not only evolved into an expression to describe one who speaks his mind openly, it also was adapted to name a certain country whose populace is exceptionally proficient in the practice.  Arsene … Continue reading »

A Frothing Head & A Sour Kraut

It is now 2 November.  Technically, Oktoberfest is over.  In the Bavarian capital, however, two of the Platzhirschen (top dogs) at Bayern München, have been pulling at their chains and trying to get at each other’s throats in a decent impression of a bierhaus brawl.  The club, sporting one of the most impressively talented injury … Continue reading »

The Future Is Now (Well, Sort Of)

In the days of free spending, Chelsea went further than most. Now, with financial regulations tightening and youth policy being the coming thing, the Blues, once again, go further than most. Continue reading »

I’ll Have A Royale With Cheese, S’il Vous Plait

It’s a good thing Gerard Houllier isn’t standing for office. Continue reading »

Friday, 13 (yikes!) Aug. — Speaking In Code

Breaking through the PC barrier to find out what football personalities really mean when they offer up such ambiguous answers to questions from the media. Continue reading »

Tues., 10 Aug. — Top Ten Reasons Martin O’Neill Quit Villa

Investigative Journalism as only WFC can do it! Continue reading »

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