What you invariably find is that the kids themselves want to win. The US can be a very politically correct place, and in one of the leagues I’ve been involved in, there’s a prohibition on keeping score, lest the losing team should feel even more hopeless. Fact is, the kids themselves keep score, which means you get the amusing sight of a bunch of 7 year olds yelling, “we’re winning 4-1″ while the adult ref forlornly intones, “hey guys, we’re not keeping score, remember?”

They key to success lies in regular practice, which creates a team identity – the matches are the most fun part of the week, but they are not the most important. If a player picks up something new at practice and has the confidence to try it out in a competitive situation, then the games become a learning experience. An intelligent coach who is also mindful of the desire to win will be more likely to experiment, rather than just playing the kids in exactly the same positions as when the team last won a game.

One final observation. If you are coaching your own kid’s team, be discreet with what you say in front of them. After an encounter last season, I told my wife that I’d nicknamed the coach of another team “Mad Dad”. A couple of weeks ago, we rolled up to play this fellow’s team; “Look Daddy,” my 8 year old said to me loudly, pointing at him. “It’s Mad Dad”. Honestly, I wanted the ground to swallow me up!

One other aspect I like that occurs on the continent yet seldom on these shores is the rotation of positions. You may have a player say who is clearly the best striker in the team, yet in Holland he would play in a different position every week. That experience is brilliant I think in developing them as players, they learn how to deal with situations in every corner of the pitch, what team-mates expect of them and what they want in return. In terms of reading the game and learning how to move intelligently into space it’s a great tool.

The competitiveness of the grass roots game is important, but placing an emphasis on results only discourages players from taking risks and trying something new. When a player gets to the professional game, how many people will be interested in what he won as an under 14 in Bristol? What I don’t understand is why the coaches have the mentality they do, as you say they want to appear successful, but if I were still coaching kids football, I would see myself as successful if those kids went on to better things even if they won nothing whilst under my charge.

I had a similar experience of a big pitch when I was at Primary School. We played a league decider on an old-fashioned ash park where we would have needed a bus to travel from one end to the other. It rained constantly so there were puddles everywhere…and we lost.

I asked them how we would show a child how to do it and they said we don’t teach them that as if they get the basics right then they’ll never need to use it. I find ignorance absolutely absurd as they could be teaching kids how to win the ball cleanly and effectively. If they acquired that skill then it may also cut out the terrible tackles that happen in the modern game today.

The FA are too rigid and way behind the times – Geoff we played all our home games at my town’s full size stadium – great experience but the pitch was massive and if you weren’t a good player you’d hardly get a touch!

I was interested in what you said about the coaches putting the emphasis on winning rather than developing their players. I remember when I was a kid, training sessions for my Sunday league team were just running exercises and then a 5-a-side game at the end. We did hardly any work on skills. During the matches themselves, you’d hear the parents shouting “Get stuck in” and “Battle”. Any kid trying to beat a man would be told to stop fannying around or something similar. If there was a skilful kid on the other side, we’d be told to “Hit him early” to frighten him a bit.

When we got to a cup final, we played at the local non-league side’s ground, a full-size senior pitch, we were only 10!